The Christmas Conundrum
by Jen Hatmaker on November 29th, 2011
373
When I was in sixth grade, I received two Christmas presents I distinctly remember:
1.) The most coveted, desired beautiful "Forenza" tag on a pair of black leggings with a corresponding purple and black plaid shirt. (The outfit could've been anything, as long as it was from The Limited. Outback Red, anyone? Omg. If I could've conjured riches back then, I would've spent every red cent on OBR.)
2.) A fun, quirky red "football jersey type" sweatshirt.
I loved them both. Loved, loved, loved. I was certain these gifts were my ticket out of Dorkville. The feathered, product-less boy haircut and Bargain Selection glasses would become moot in light of my new, stylish garb. The popular kids would wonder what they ever didn't see in me. The cute boys I pined over would fight over inviting me to Sadie Hawkins, and they would say things like, "Why haven't we noticed her before? We're like Saul after the scales fell from his eyes." Or at least something very, very similar to that.
Until one very unfortunate eavesdropping session.
Supposed to be in bed but creeping in the hall listening to my parents' conversation which simply seemed like a naughty, awesome thing to do, I heard my mom say this:
"Her red sweatshirt? I found it at Walmart for $3.00."
Oh.
No.
She.
Didn't.
And just like that, the sweatshirt was ruined. In front of my eyes, it lost all its charm and it simply became something a Walmart girl would wear because she couldn't afford Esprit and her mother refused to buy her Guess jeans. All of a sudden, it communicated: I'm poor. (I was in sixth grade, people. It was a very dramatic time.)
Here's why I tell you about my persecutions: That is the only thing I remember from Christmas 1985. Not Jesus. Not reverence. Not generosity. Not gratitude. Just a selfish, materialistic reaction because every single gift of mine wasn't from an overpriced store with a namebrand I could casually brag about wearing. What a brat.
This sort of bull crap is still happening every year.
What happened to Christmas? What on earth happened to it? When did it transform from something simple and beautiful to what it is now? How insiduously did the enemy work to slowly hijack Jesus' birth and hand it over on a silver platter to Big Marketing, tricking His own followers into financing the confiscation?
We all know it. We all feel it. Every year we bear this tension. Each December, the world feels off kilter. But in the absence of a better plan or an alternative rhythm or - let's just say it - courage, we feed the machine yet again, giving Jesus lip service while teaching our kids to ask Santa for whatever they want, because, you know, that's really what Christmas boils down to.
I just cannot take it anymore, yall. I cannot.
What if a bunch of us pulled out of the system? What if we said something very radical and un-American, like: "Our family is going to celebrate Jesus this year in a manner worthy of a humble Savior who was born to two poor teenagers in a barn and yet still managed to rescue humanity."
I'm going to throw out some ideas for what I hope is a more meaningful Christmas; you may take some and leave some. Good reader, you may take none. Maybe you'll tweak an idea to fit your family. You might say, "For the love of Baby Jesus! She's ruining everything! We'll try one little thing this year, ok?! And then we'll quit reading her blog." Here goes:
1.) Because I'm anxious to make enemies and isolate myself from any goodwill you've ever felt toward me, let me just start with a biggie: We've pulled out of the Santa charade. Our newest kids are 5 and 8, preparing for their first Christmas in America, and we're just not doing it, yall. Maybe because we've spent the last four years trying to unravel the mess we've presented to our other kids all these years, but hear me say it: We are giving Christmas back to Jesus. Not a corner of it; all of it.
There is no fake benefactor this year my kids can petition to get more stuff. Because honestly? For a five-year-old, how can Jesus compete with Santa? Our children don't have spiritual perspective; when faced with the choice of allegience, they have a baby in a manger, or they can get a jolly, twinkling, flying character who will bring them presents. This is going to be an easy choice for them. My friend Andrew, who identifies himself as a member of the "non-believer corner" put it this way:
I always thought it was strange how Christians will tell me they have this giant and awesome truth they know is true deep in their soul and want to share with me, but when 12/25 comes around they lie to their own progeny because, apparently, that giant, liberating, and awesomely simple truth is somehow just not enough. It may be a good narrative, but it needs a little something to give it some panache.
As importantly, it sets this tone for Christmas: Be good and you'll get stuff, which becomes so deeply seeded, undoing that position is almost impossible. When we teach our children to understand Christmas through this lens, then tell them at nine-years-old: "Never mind! It's all fake! Oh, and stop being so selfish because Christmas is about Jesus"...we shouldn't be surprised when our kids stage a mutiny and ask to move in with Grandma. Young parents, this is so much easier to do right the first time rather than try to undo later. Give your kids the gift of a Christmas obsessed with Jesus - and no other - when they are little, and it will be their truth all their lives. Some practical points:
* When faced with Santa everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, we told our kids the story of the original St. Nicholas from the 3rd century, and his devotion to Jesus and the poor. We explained that Santa is a character based on his life, but one was real and one is pretend. We also told them some children believe Santa is real, and it's their parents' job to talk about that with their friends, not theirs. In other words, DON'T BE THAT KID WHO MAKES EVERYONE CRY IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS. You're welcome, teachers.
* For the most part, we are not watching TV this month. We're allowing movies and Netflix, but the less commercials our kids have to digest, the less confusing this month is for them. Um, ditto for all of us. When there are commercials that say, "Hey? You know how to avoid the terrible Disappointed Face when you give your loved one her gift? Buy her a Toyota!"...we have seriously derailed, folks.
* Take a big breath: I got rid of all my Santa paraphernalia this year. No more severed ceramic Santa heads up in here. Try not to flip out. (I am in the "undoing" category I mentioned above. So freaking hard.)
* This is big: I AM NOT JUDGING YOU. If you put carrots on your front lawn for the reindeer and stamp bootprints all over your living room from Santa's shoes, that is fully your prerogative. You don't need to hide your Santa wreath when I come over or defend your position to me or anyone. For us, Christmas has gone through four years of reconstruction, each year progressively more simplified. I know God is doing all sorts of different things with different families at different times; everybody be cool.
2.) While you're stewing over Santa, let's go ahead and tackle this one: spending. Whatintheworld? We recently watched a video from Christmas 2004 when our kids were six, four, and two. (Sidebar: Those of you with a 6-year-old, thinking he is so big? You will die one hundred thousand deaths in seven years when you look back at videos and realize he was just an infant baby. And then you will cry drippy, sad tears because you'll realize that when all those old women told you to enjoy early childhood because it will pass so quickly, and you wanted to kick them in the shins, they were right. It is over in a nanosecond and the next thing you know, your "six year old" is texting and getting ready for high school and smells like the inside of a trash can.)
I digress.
When we saw the mountains of presents in front of our P.R.E.S.C.H.O.O.L.E.R.S. and watched them rip through boxes so fast, they had no idea what they even received, I caught Brandon's eye across the room and mouthed, "We were freaks!" Not to mention all this bounty was brought into a home burgeoning with loot already, so we had to get rid of a bunch of toys just to shoehorn in the new stuff. Kindly note that the recipients of all this commerce couldn't even wipe their own butts yet.
Insane at best, sacrilegious at worst.
Four years ago, we started this gift-giving policy for each kid: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. That's it. (This year we are adding something to give, and I'll talk about that in a minute.) Brandon and I don't buy for each other, and we draw names with our extended families, so each adult only buys one gift.
Friends and countrymen, we simply need to spend less on ourselves. There are plenty of practical reasons, like debt and financial strain and untold energy and stress. But even if we could afford to spend $500 on every important person in our lives, that sort of egregious consumerism is unbecoming for the Bride of Christ during a season that is supposed to be marked by the worship of Jesus.
We can find alternative rhythms to show each other our love. My mother-in-law is so very, very good at giving meaningful gifts based on making memories together. She takes my kids to plays and museums and day trips. She invites them to her house individually and spends precious time with them. My kids gobble this time with her down. Let's give the gifts of time and experiences and our creative talents and words this year. They will last long after the electric griddle has been forgotten.
3.) Let's MAKE DADGUM SURE the products we do buy don't come to us courtesy of slave labor. Like Ashley Judd said in Call+Response, "I don't want to wear someone else's despair. I don't want to eat someone else's tragedy." Our little church has joined the dog fight against human trafficking, and let me tell you something: When I refuse to carefully examine the vendors I buy from because it is inconvenient or overwhelming or I just really want that, I am turning the key that shackles the enslaved hands forced to produce my little goodies. I am as complicit as the abusers who exploit these laborers. And please don't tell me, "Not buying this one thing produced through a corrupt supply chain isn't going to make a difference." All that means is I don't care. If it was our children forced to work relentlessly in bondage, we would we hope and pray rich consumers across the world would battle that injustice by directing their consumer dollar with purpose, communicating to capitalistic opportunists "NO WE WILL NOT." We will call unethical business leaders to task with our words, our votes, and our money.
So many fantastic resources to help us become responsible consumers, calling vendors to reform and repentence using the language they truly understand...lack of profits:
* Download the Free2Work app, which allows you to scan barcodes and find out if that product is made responsibly or by slave labor.
* New to this conversation? Learn from our friends at Not For Sale. They are LEGIT.
* Need convincing? Download this Slavery Footprint and see where you land: "How many slaves work for you?" (Holy moly.)
* Know the top products made by slave labor, so you can be extra diligent on who you purchase them from. Careful...some of your faves are on the list (coffee, chocolate, cotton, sugar).
* Learn trusted vendors and stick with them, even if they cost more. We will not finance the slave industry because we are addicted to artificially low prices made possible by not paying the labor force.
4.) On the other hand, we can do so much good with our dollar! I think about the Acts 4 church, redistributing their resources "to anyone who had need." Such beauty. We can direct our Christmas dollar in two ways for great good:
Buying Products with a Conscience
These products range from beautiful artisan crafts made by former sex slaves or recipients of microloans; they include companies who use profits for international justice or employ vulnerable workers. Fabulously, these options are legion, and you don't have to look hard to find them. I'll include a few, then hopefully readers will add to the list of responsible vendors in the comment section:
www.cometogethertrading.com
www.redearthtradingco.com
www.furnacehillscoffee.com/index
www.preemptivelove.org
www.noondaycollection.com
www.bethejoy.com
www.goodnewsgoods.com
www.theopenarmsshop.com
www.commonthreadz.org
www.globalgirlfriend.com
www.3seams.com
www.ravenandlily.com
www.tradeasone.com
www.thehungersite.org
www.funkyfishdesigns.com
Giving
The second stream we can choose to float down this Christmas is out from underneath the consumer umbrella altogether (mixed metaphors, anyone?), and it is simply sharing our resources with those who need intervention to break the cycles of poverty and despair. This year, we are giving each of our children $100 to spend on the vulnerable. This is part of their Christmas present, because as you and I know, it just feels so awesome to be a part of Jesus' redemptive story. We will give them some options, and they can distribute their money however they want. Here are some trusted, responsible organizations to partner with, donating in increments as low as $10:
www.IJM.org/GiftsofFreedom
www.worldvision.org
www.mercycorps.org
www.miraclefoundation.org
5.) Finally (and all the readers breathed a sigh of relief), instead of just pulling old habits off the shelf and leaving a vacuum of void and guilt, let's replace American practices with - and I mean this in the most sincerest sense - Christian practices. Let's fill our homes with Jesus and find ways to worship Him with our little families every day this month. Let's join the Advent Conspiracy, daring to believe that Christmas can still change the world. May beautiful words fill our houses; lyrics like Come and behold him, born the the King of angels. As much as possible, let's mute the competing chatter trying so hard to invade our spaces; turning it down, turning it off. Celebrate Advent with your kids with diligence and anticipation. We ordered a fun version of the Advent Calendar, and each night the kids open a new envelope full of Scriptures and family activities. (Tonight we are reading about Jesus, the Light of the World, talking about what being a light in the darkness means, then playing flashlight tag. Yes, I'm sure someone will get hurt.)
1.) The most coveted, desired beautiful "Forenza" tag on a pair of black leggings with a corresponding purple and black plaid shirt. (The outfit could've been anything, as long as it was from The Limited. Outback Red, anyone? Omg. If I could've conjured riches back then, I would've spent every red cent on OBR.)
2.) A fun, quirky red "football jersey type" sweatshirt.
I loved them both. Loved, loved, loved. I was certain these gifts were my ticket out of Dorkville. The feathered, product-less boy haircut and Bargain Selection glasses would become moot in light of my new, stylish garb. The popular kids would wonder what they ever didn't see in me. The cute boys I pined over would fight over inviting me to Sadie Hawkins, and they would say things like, "Why haven't we noticed her before? We're like Saul after the scales fell from his eyes." Or at least something very, very similar to that.
Until one very unfortunate eavesdropping session.
Supposed to be in bed but creeping in the hall listening to my parents' conversation which simply seemed like a naughty, awesome thing to do, I heard my mom say this:
"Her red sweatshirt? I found it at Walmart for $3.00."
Oh.
No.
She.
Didn't.
And just like that, the sweatshirt was ruined. In front of my eyes, it lost all its charm and it simply became something a Walmart girl would wear because she couldn't afford Esprit and her mother refused to buy her Guess jeans. All of a sudden, it communicated: I'm poor. (I was in sixth grade, people. It was a very dramatic time.)
Here's why I tell you about my persecutions: That is the only thing I remember from Christmas 1985. Not Jesus. Not reverence. Not generosity. Not gratitude. Just a selfish, materialistic reaction because every single gift of mine wasn't from an overpriced store with a namebrand I could casually brag about wearing. What a brat.
This sort of bull crap is still happening every year.
What happened to Christmas? What on earth happened to it? When did it transform from something simple and beautiful to what it is now? How insiduously did the enemy work to slowly hijack Jesus' birth and hand it over on a silver platter to Big Marketing, tricking His own followers into financing the confiscation?
We all know it. We all feel it. Every year we bear this tension. Each December, the world feels off kilter. But in the absence of a better plan or an alternative rhythm or - let's just say it - courage, we feed the machine yet again, giving Jesus lip service while teaching our kids to ask Santa for whatever they want, because, you know, that's really what Christmas boils down to.
I just cannot take it anymore, yall. I cannot.
What if a bunch of us pulled out of the system? What if we said something very radical and un-American, like: "Our family is going to celebrate Jesus this year in a manner worthy of a humble Savior who was born to two poor teenagers in a barn and yet still managed to rescue humanity."
I'm going to throw out some ideas for what I hope is a more meaningful Christmas; you may take some and leave some. Good reader, you may take none. Maybe you'll tweak an idea to fit your family. You might say, "For the love of Baby Jesus! She's ruining everything! We'll try one little thing this year, ok?! And then we'll quit reading her blog." Here goes:
1.) Because I'm anxious to make enemies and isolate myself from any goodwill you've ever felt toward me, let me just start with a biggie: We've pulled out of the Santa charade. Our newest kids are 5 and 8, preparing for their first Christmas in America, and we're just not doing it, yall. Maybe because we've spent the last four years trying to unravel the mess we've presented to our other kids all these years, but hear me say it: We are giving Christmas back to Jesus. Not a corner of it; all of it.
There is no fake benefactor this year my kids can petition to get more stuff. Because honestly? For a five-year-old, how can Jesus compete with Santa? Our children don't have spiritual perspective; when faced with the choice of allegience, they have a baby in a manger, or they can get a jolly, twinkling, flying character who will bring them presents. This is going to be an easy choice for them. My friend Andrew, who identifies himself as a member of the "non-believer corner" put it this way:
I always thought it was strange how Christians will tell me they have this giant and awesome truth they know is true deep in their soul and want to share with me, but when 12/25 comes around they lie to their own progeny because, apparently, that giant, liberating, and awesomely simple truth is somehow just not enough. It may be a good narrative, but it needs a little something to give it some panache.
As importantly, it sets this tone for Christmas: Be good and you'll get stuff, which becomes so deeply seeded, undoing that position is almost impossible. When we teach our children to understand Christmas through this lens, then tell them at nine-years-old: "Never mind! It's all fake! Oh, and stop being so selfish because Christmas is about Jesus"...we shouldn't be surprised when our kids stage a mutiny and ask to move in with Grandma. Young parents, this is so much easier to do right the first time rather than try to undo later. Give your kids the gift of a Christmas obsessed with Jesus - and no other - when they are little, and it will be their truth all their lives. Some practical points:
* When faced with Santa everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, we told our kids the story of the original St. Nicholas from the 3rd century, and his devotion to Jesus and the poor. We explained that Santa is a character based on his life, but one was real and one is pretend. We also told them some children believe Santa is real, and it's their parents' job to talk about that with their friends, not theirs. In other words, DON'T BE THAT KID WHO MAKES EVERYONE CRY IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS. You're welcome, teachers.
* For the most part, we are not watching TV this month. We're allowing movies and Netflix, but the less commercials our kids have to digest, the less confusing this month is for them. Um, ditto for all of us. When there are commercials that say, "Hey? You know how to avoid the terrible Disappointed Face when you give your loved one her gift? Buy her a Toyota!"...we have seriously derailed, folks.
* Take a big breath: I got rid of all my Santa paraphernalia this year. No more severed ceramic Santa heads up in here. Try not to flip out. (I am in the "undoing" category I mentioned above. So freaking hard.)
* This is big: I AM NOT JUDGING YOU. If you put carrots on your front lawn for the reindeer and stamp bootprints all over your living room from Santa's shoes, that is fully your prerogative. You don't need to hide your Santa wreath when I come over or defend your position to me or anyone. For us, Christmas has gone through four years of reconstruction, each year progressively more simplified. I know God is doing all sorts of different things with different families at different times; everybody be cool.
2.) While you're stewing over Santa, let's go ahead and tackle this one: spending. Whatintheworld? We recently watched a video from Christmas 2004 when our kids were six, four, and two. (Sidebar: Those of you with a 6-year-old, thinking he is so big? You will die one hundred thousand deaths in seven years when you look back at videos and realize he was just an infant baby. And then you will cry drippy, sad tears because you'll realize that when all those old women told you to enjoy early childhood because it will pass so quickly, and you wanted to kick them in the shins, they were right. It is over in a nanosecond and the next thing you know, your "six year old" is texting and getting ready for high school and smells like the inside of a trash can.)
I digress.
When we saw the mountains of presents in front of our P.R.E.S.C.H.O.O.L.E.R.S. and watched them rip through boxes so fast, they had no idea what they even received, I caught Brandon's eye across the room and mouthed, "We were freaks!" Not to mention all this bounty was brought into a home burgeoning with loot already, so we had to get rid of a bunch of toys just to shoehorn in the new stuff. Kindly note that the recipients of all this commerce couldn't even wipe their own butts yet.
Insane at best, sacrilegious at worst.
Four years ago, we started this gift-giving policy for each kid: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. That's it. (This year we are adding something to give, and I'll talk about that in a minute.) Brandon and I don't buy for each other, and we draw names with our extended families, so each adult only buys one gift.
Friends and countrymen, we simply need to spend less on ourselves. There are plenty of practical reasons, like debt and financial strain and untold energy and stress. But even if we could afford to spend $500 on every important person in our lives, that sort of egregious consumerism is unbecoming for the Bride of Christ during a season that is supposed to be marked by the worship of Jesus.
We can find alternative rhythms to show each other our love. My mother-in-law is so very, very good at giving meaningful gifts based on making memories together. She takes my kids to plays and museums and day trips. She invites them to her house individually and spends precious time with them. My kids gobble this time with her down. Let's give the gifts of time and experiences and our creative talents and words this year. They will last long after the electric griddle has been forgotten.
3.) Let's MAKE DADGUM SURE the products we do buy don't come to us courtesy of slave labor. Like Ashley Judd said in Call+Response, "I don't want to wear someone else's despair. I don't want to eat someone else's tragedy." Our little church has joined the dog fight against human trafficking, and let me tell you something: When I refuse to carefully examine the vendors I buy from because it is inconvenient or overwhelming or I just really want that, I am turning the key that shackles the enslaved hands forced to produce my little goodies. I am as complicit as the abusers who exploit these laborers. And please don't tell me, "Not buying this one thing produced through a corrupt supply chain isn't going to make a difference." All that means is I don't care. If it was our children forced to work relentlessly in bondage, we would we hope and pray rich consumers across the world would battle that injustice by directing their consumer dollar with purpose, communicating to capitalistic opportunists "NO WE WILL NOT." We will call unethical business leaders to task with our words, our votes, and our money.
So many fantastic resources to help us become responsible consumers, calling vendors to reform and repentence using the language they truly understand...lack of profits:
* Download the Free2Work app, which allows you to scan barcodes and find out if that product is made responsibly or by slave labor.
* New to this conversation? Learn from our friends at Not For Sale. They are LEGIT.
* Need convincing? Download this Slavery Footprint and see where you land: "How many slaves work for you?" (Holy moly.)
* Know the top products made by slave labor, so you can be extra diligent on who you purchase them from. Careful...some of your faves are on the list (coffee, chocolate, cotton, sugar).
* Learn trusted vendors and stick with them, even if they cost more. We will not finance the slave industry because we are addicted to artificially low prices made possible by not paying the labor force.
4.) On the other hand, we can do so much good with our dollar! I think about the Acts 4 church, redistributing their resources "to anyone who had need." Such beauty. We can direct our Christmas dollar in two ways for great good:
Buying Products with a Conscience
These products range from beautiful artisan crafts made by former sex slaves or recipients of microloans; they include companies who use profits for international justice or employ vulnerable workers. Fabulously, these options are legion, and you don't have to look hard to find them. I'll include a few, then hopefully readers will add to the list of responsible vendors in the comment section:
www.cometogethertrading.com
www.redearthtradingco.com
www.furnacehillscoffee.com/index
www.preemptivelove.org
www.noondaycollection.com
www.bethejoy.com
www.goodnewsgoods.com
www.theopenarmsshop.com
www.commonthreadz.org
www.globalgirlfriend.com
www.3seams.com
www.ravenandlily.com
www.tradeasone.com
www.thehungersite.org
www.funkyfishdesigns.com
Giving
The second stream we can choose to float down this Christmas is out from underneath the consumer umbrella altogether (mixed metaphors, anyone?), and it is simply sharing our resources with those who need intervention to break the cycles of poverty and despair. This year, we are giving each of our children $100 to spend on the vulnerable. This is part of their Christmas present, because as you and I know, it just feels so awesome to be a part of Jesus' redemptive story. We will give them some options, and they can distribute their money however they want. Here are some trusted, responsible organizations to partner with, donating in increments as low as $10:
www.IJM.org/GiftsofFreedom
www.worldvision.org
www.mercycorps.org
www.miraclefoundation.org
5.) Finally (and all the readers breathed a sigh of relief), instead of just pulling old habits off the shelf and leaving a vacuum of void and guilt, let's replace American practices with - and I mean this in the most sincerest sense - Christian practices. Let's fill our homes with Jesus and find ways to worship Him with our little families every day this month. Let's join the Advent Conspiracy, daring to believe that Christmas can still change the world. May beautiful words fill our houses; lyrics like Come and behold him, born the the King of angels. As much as possible, let's mute the competing chatter trying so hard to invade our spaces; turning it down, turning it off. Celebrate Advent with your kids with diligence and anticipation. We ordered a fun version of the Advent Calendar, and each night the kids open a new envelope full of Scriptures and family activities. (Tonight we are reading about Jesus, the Light of the World, talking about what being a light in the darkness means, then playing flashlight tag. Yes, I'm sure someone will get hurt.)
Believers, let's do beautiful things together this month like serve and share and spend time with one another. Let's invite the loneliest people we know into our homes and show them Jesus. How about we make lovely food together, then share it. Parents, talk about Jesus' impending birthday like it is the most precious, thrilling, miraculous moment you have ever heard of in your life. Can we be brave enough to say "enough" to any further ruination of Jesus' day? Can we risk difficult conversations with grandparents and friends and our own children, understanding that Jesus called it the narrow way for a reason, and he wasn't kidding when he said few would find it? Let's listen to divergent thinkers and spiritual leaders who are courageously leading us in the ways of Jesus this December, helping us resist consumerism and selfishness and giving voice to our radical thoughts and inner tension.
Despite what your mother might say when you tell her you're scaling back this year, I am not trying to ruin your Christmas. On the contrary. I'm dying to rediscover what is simple and magnificent about the Savior of the World coming to earth, putting on flesh and saving my life. I so want my kids to marvel that Jesus came, just like God said he would, and he split history in two, forever transforming the concepts of hope and peace and salvation. And I just feel like when I create a season revolving around wish lists, frenzy, and alternate characters of honor, my kids will never understand any of this.
And neither will I.
Together, we have the opportunity to show a watching world something truly hopeful and sincerely beautiful this Christmas. We can live alternative rhythms in front of people, showing them something better than stress and spending and tension and exhaustion. We can raise children who understand exactly why the songwriter wrote: Oh come let us adore Him. We can partner with Jesus and bring good news to the nations yet again, fighting injustices and carrying hope to the ends of the earth through something as simple as sharing our money. Most importantly, we can render to Jesus the reverence he is owed, pushing all substitutions to the side and making our homes holy ground. This is why (from my favorite singular lyric in any hymn ever):
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Til He appeared and the soul felt it's worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn...
The weary world rejoices indeed. Thank you, Jesus, Lord at thy birth. Joy to the world.
Readers, how do you give Christmas to Jesus? What alternate rhythms have you established? What vendors do you love to support? And if you find yourself disagreeing, I welcome your comments as well. This is a worthy conversation and I'm just glad we're talking about it.
Posted in not categorized Tagged with no tags
Holly - December 9th, 2011 at 10:58 AM
This is great! Our only child is almost 1 and I have been thinking about this topic quite a bit. Thank you for sharing!
Kathy - December 9th, 2011 at 12:35 PM
I absolutely love this post. I, too, have become unsettled with the commercialization of Christmas and have been thinking about making a change to the way we celebrate Christmas, namely in the form of gift giving. I also loved hearing about your intentionality with not including Santa (something I also plan to not do once I have kids) and to be mindful about how watching TV with a bunch of Christmas commercials with just the message you described could be confusing and send the wrong message. This post makes me want to stop celebrating Christmas the way the world does and really take a stand for what it really does mean. Thanks so much for sharing your viewpoint, even if it could be offensive to some.
Keith Bly - December 9th, 2011 at 1:33 PM
Please write more. Lots more.
StephNC - December 9th, 2011 at 1:53 PM
Just wanted to mention another great organization is Compassion International.
http://www.compassion.com/catalog.htm
Thank you so much for this post! As the mother of 2.5 year old twins, my husband and I have been trying to figure out the Santa that is all consuming everywhere we go and all we do.
My friend just wrote about how she allowed her 4 year old to get involved and raise money to buy a gift. http://www.sillyeaglebooks.com/2011/12/spirit-of-giving-project-cow.html.
Thanks again!
http://www.compassion.com/catalog.htm
Thank you so much for this post! As the mother of 2.5 year old twins, my husband and I have been trying to figure out the Santa that is all consuming everywhere we go and all we do.
My friend just wrote about how she allowed her 4 year old to get involved and raise money to buy a gift. http://www.sillyeaglebooks.com/2011/12/spirit-of-giving-project-cow.html.
Thanks again!
Lindsey - December 9th, 2011 at 5:01 PM
Overall, kudos. :)
Couldn't agree more with you that the world needs more Jesus. Less consumerism. Won't go so far to say that Santa is evil and my 1 gift per kid is overshadowing Jesus. I give them birthday presents and buy them treats from now and then, and so Santa brings a gift each Christmas. (and most of my kids "know" the truth right now too)
But I am saddened by the consumerism that runs so rampant this time of year. I am saddened by the flocks of people who celebrate the "worldly" Christmas and don't even call themselves Christians. I am saddened by Elf on the Shelf and more bullying our kids to "be good" and get stuff in return.
Jesus IS the reason for the season. He came and is coming again, and I am READY FOR HIM TO COME NOW! :)
Couldn't agree more with you that the world needs more Jesus. Less consumerism. Won't go so far to say that Santa is evil and my 1 gift per kid is overshadowing Jesus. I give them birthday presents and buy them treats from now and then, and so Santa brings a gift each Christmas. (and most of my kids "know" the truth right now too)
But I am saddened by the consumerism that runs so rampant this time of year. I am saddened by the flocks of people who celebrate the "worldly" Christmas and don't even call themselves Christians. I am saddened by Elf on the Shelf and more bullying our kids to "be good" and get stuff in return.
Jesus IS the reason for the season. He came and is coming again, and I am READY FOR HIM TO COME NOW! :)
Melissa Irvin - December 9th, 2011 at 5:05 PM
This is an incredible, well-written, thought-provoking post! Thank you for putting your thoughts into words and into action! I found you because my cousin-in-law posted a link to this on FB. You have a new follower in me! God bless you and your family.
kate chapman - December 9th, 2011 at 5:15 PM
I'm a 30 year old woman, I was never told about Santa, never believed in Santa and somehow I survived. :) ha! My mom and dad believed that if they were telling me about santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc along with teaching me about Jesus...that one day all of a sudden those things they had been telling me about were untrue and "made up" and they didn't want me to ever question is Jesus "made up" and untrue too? I love my parents for it. I believed in Jesus at a very early age and I think part of the reason for that was my head not swimming with a bunch of other stories and gobbilygook. So yes, I was "that kid" telling the other kids that Santa wasn't real. ;) whoops! thanks for this post, Jen. the pot needs to be stirred and your boldness and honesty are refreshing.
Paul - December 9th, 2011 at 6:51 PM
At what point are you going to realize you have checked you common sense at the door? You are blaming Santa Clause (who's not real) for detracting from the true meaning of Christmas? Is it Kris Kringle's fault you didn't have a meaningful Christmas your 6th grade year? No. It's your parents fault. It's your own own fault. Here is an alternative, on Christmas Eve sit your family down, read Luke 2, read Shoemaker Martin, sing Silent Night and say a family prayer. Then let your kids be kids, let their imagination of magic and surprise run wild. Sing Jingle Bells, Santa Clause is Coming to Town and Rudolph, Red Nosed Raindeer, watch Elf and read The Night Before Christmas. Have fun. But let your kids know the birth of our Savior comes first.
And, I'm sorry, but I have to say it, the dragon in the Nativity is weird. It's straight up, weird. There is no scriptural foundation to the idea that Satan was there in the manger. Many of your readers seemed to suggest a correlation between Satan and Santa-- so why not put a Santa in your Nativity?
Santa Clause is is a tradition, not a religion. I think you are getting the two mixed up.
And, I'm sorry, but I have to say it, the dragon in the Nativity is weird. It's straight up, weird. There is no scriptural foundation to the idea that Satan was there in the manger. Many of your readers seemed to suggest a correlation between Satan and Santa-- so why not put a Santa in your Nativity?
Santa Clause is is a tradition, not a religion. I think you are getting the two mixed up.
Chris - December 10th, 2011 at 12:56 AM
Thanks for sharing and challenging us to keep our focus on the birth of our Savior. I recently blogged about our "gift giving" as we have made a radical change in the way our family celebrates too.
http://lovelikehelovestoday.blogspot.com/2011/11/christmas-giving.html
http://lovelikehelovestoday.blogspot.com/2011/11/christmas-giving.html
Ashley - December 10th, 2011 at 10:21 AM
My husband thought you might appreciate the literal translation of O Holy Night (originally written in French).
Midnight, Christians, it is the solemn hour,
When God-man descended to us
To erase the stain of original sin
And to end the wrath of His Father.
The entire world thrills with hope
On this night that gives it a Savior.
People kneel down, wait for your deliverance.
Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer,
Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer!
May the ardent light of our Faith
Guide us all to the cradle of the infant,
As in ancient times a brilliant star
Guided the Oriental kings there.
The King of Kings was born in a humble manger;
O mighty ones of today, proud of your greatness,
It is to your pride that God preaches.
Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
The Redeemer has overcome every obstacle:
The Earth is free, and Heaven is open.
He sees a brother where there was only a slave,
Love unites those that iron had chained.
Who will tell Him of our gratitude,
For all of us He is born, He suffers and dies.
People stand up! Sing of your deliverance,
Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer,
Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer!
Midnight, Christians, it is the solemn hour,
When God-man descended to us
To erase the stain of original sin
And to end the wrath of His Father.
The entire world thrills with hope
On this night that gives it a Savior.
People kneel down, wait for your deliverance.
Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer,
Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer!
May the ardent light of our Faith
Guide us all to the cradle of the infant,
As in ancient times a brilliant star
Guided the Oriental kings there.
The King of Kings was born in a humble manger;
O mighty ones of today, proud of your greatness,
It is to your pride that God preaches.
Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
The Redeemer has overcome every obstacle:
The Earth is free, and Heaven is open.
He sees a brother where there was only a slave,
Love unites those that iron had chained.
Who will tell Him of our gratitude,
For all of us He is born, He suffers and dies.
People stand up! Sing of your deliverance,
Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer,
Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer!
elisabeth - December 10th, 2011 at 10:54 AM
Wow...just...wow. THANK YOU! This post was fantastic! I work in retail, so I see firsthand the pressure and stress people feel to spend more than they should to impress people they don't really like. As a Christian, I know what Christmas is truly about (Jesus!), but it's so easy to lose sight of it amidst all the frenzy. Thank you for a needed reminder and the good suggestions.
I like to buy gifts from a local business here in Minnesota, Alsadu (http://www.alsadu.com). The owner works with refugees and former sexual trafficking victims. All the products in her shop are beautiful and you know the money goes to something good.
I like to buy gifts from a local business here in Minnesota, Alsadu (http://www.alsadu.com). The owner works with refugees and former sexual trafficking victims. All the products in her shop are beautiful and you know the money goes to something good.
Micah in Knoxville - December 10th, 2011 at 11:00 AM
I love how much time and dedication you put into this. And I would gently say, from one New Testament teacher to another, that there is a reason the Santa story has so much traction in the world and it is not unlike the reason the Jesus story has so much traction in the world. It has taken on a life of its own. I think it's wonderful to play up Jesus, but would not dismiss Santa as a 100% minion of commerce (people are stupid and shallow, but not everyone is that stupid and shallow all the time). Just a thought.
Karil - December 10th, 2011 at 3:29 PM
Being a daughter of a Pastor, and hearing all nonsense of "Black Friday" and trampling onto others to get the "needed" gifts of the year, prior to hours just before, sitting around a Thanksgiving Day Table" giving thanks for what we on King 5 news here in Seattle. Disgusting to say the least. Then reading posts after posts on face book of friends needing the best gift for their child, the trend, the now gift. Where did Christ go in the midst of this frenzy? I read one of the posts above, about the sense of "urgency"..I have to say, I agree with her. I have had this sense of urgency..for what is yet about to come Our Nation has lost its focus on "Christmas" Christmas..giving thanks for his life. Life for me, life for my husband, life for my child. Nothing greater than this. We line up at the stores to wait for hours to see Santa. Imagine this, if Jesus were to sit in replace of Santa..how many would wait? How many would fall on their knees and weep for what he did for all of us. This is the truest meaning of Christmas. Where is the line for Jesus? Performed by: Becky Kelley...Performed by: Becky Kelley
http://www.wheresthelinetoseejesus.com/.
http://www.wheresthelinetoseejesus.com/.
Melissa - December 10th, 2011 at 4:14 PM
Wonderful post! I don't have children yet but plan on adopting one day and I just don't see how I could suddenly introduce them to Santa when they have had to go all their lives without anyone caring for them or receiving a magical visit each Dec 25. I think the heartbreak thinking they weren't good enough all those years to get a visit from Santa would be worse than trying to help them "fit in" to popular culture. I think all your suggestions are so brilliant and I intend to use them. This year my parents have decided to scale back a lot on gift giving. The bad economy made them open their eyes but then they also realized, like you did, that they have been spending ridiculous amounts of money on things that go out of style too quickly or we don't use nearly enough. We'll all be getting fewer gifts this year but we are also planning on giving back in some way to those less fortunate. If all believers would just do a little something more Christ focused we could make a huge impact in reclaiming the Christmas season for what it was really meant to be about.
Amy Baker - December 10th, 2011 at 10:50 PM
Your blog never fails in inspiring me, giving me hope, and challenging me to dig deeper in my relationship with Christ. What a blessing you are...Merry Christmas my dear sister in Christ!
Laura Ozinga - December 11th, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Oh, Jen, your childhood experiences sound so familiar! My husband and I don't have kids, but in our 2 1/2 years of marriage, we've tried to take the Advent Conspiracy more and more seriously each passing Christmas. It's a joy to give and not receive anything in return. It's a joy to spend evenings in worship instead of glued in front of a TV watching the newest 'holiday' special. Thank you for sharing your heart!
Kelly - December 11th, 2011 at 3:04 PM
I really appreciate all the different comments and views about this post--you're right--these things are important to discuss, even if we don't all agree! I find the sense of persecution and feelings of being judged from some of those who choose to incorporate Santa very interesting. Jen, you make it clear that your family is in a process and is not judging anyone elses family! Furthermore, if a person wants to feel "validated" about teaching their children about Santa, there is validation EVERWHERE--from popular culture as well as most other Christians. It is rare for Christians who make non-traditional choices for their family to have an outlet to discuss with others who feel the same way they do. Every day we have to defend our choices to friends, family, and the Wal-Mart store clerk who gives us the stink-eye when our children say they don't believe in Santa. Your post has given us an outlet to discuss our choices in how we celebrate Christmas without feeling the need to hide or apologize. And for this I say THANK YOU!
Faydra - December 11th, 2011 at 3:51 PM
Thanks for this post! May the ripple effects be far and wide. As for us, I love your fair trade links lists - I used it for my shopping and it upped my resolve to only buy fair trade chocolate for our stockings this year. Also, we've never done Santa/letters with our kids and yet his image/the movies are still everywhere in our pastimes and decorations. Really causing me to reconsider how much time he still gets in our household and what I can do about that.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Tracey - December 11th, 2011 at 7:30 PM
Love the post! It is refreshing to hear others doing similar things to bring Christ back into the holiday season! We started giving our girls the "three wise men" approach to gifts a few years ago. They get three gifts each under the tree. This year they asked if they could share their "gold" gift. I love the idea of giving them money to give to someone in need. Thanks!!
Tom Crowell - December 12th, 2011 at 6:59 AM
Please run for president. I'll vote for you. To say so many insightful and true things and to say them in a funny, non-accusing way, deserves something big. Thanks.
Pam DeFrees - December 12th, 2011 at 10:26 AM
Love this post (and all your posts). My husband and I raised our 5 kids this way as well. We started out giving them way too many gifts but at the same time, we didn't teach them that Christmas was about Santa. We wanted Jesus to be the center of Christmas and Easter and every holiday that the world try to take away from Him. We never wanted our kids to be confused about Jesus being make believe like Santa or the Easter Bunny. He is the light of the world and deserves the praise and glory of Christmas. Now we go on a family trip for Christmas and make memories. Because that costs so much, we don't buy gifts for each other (our kids are 13 to 23-and a soon to be adopted 15 year old from Ukraine). If we ask them if they want to stay home and receive gifts or go to Colorado, they all choose Colorado.
Thank you for being bold!
Thank you for being bold!
Janet - December 12th, 2011 at 11:07 AM
Jen writes, "This year, we are giving each of our children $100 to spend on the vulnerable. This is part of their Christmas present, "
This statement reflects how rich Americans are.
I salute Jen for trying to capture for the first time the true meaning of Christmas.
We each need to do this in our own way.
I suggest another alternative: How about giving 100% of your life all year long on behalf of the vulnerable? For Jesus' sake
This statement reflects how rich Americans are.
I salute Jen for trying to capture for the first time the true meaning of Christmas.
We each need to do this in our own way.
I suggest another alternative: How about giving 100% of your life all year long on behalf of the vulnerable? For Jesus' sake
Celebrating the Savior - December 12th, 2011 at 12:57 PM
Let me start by saying that you truly have a way with words!! I went from laughing to crying in like 3 lines!!! We have 3 children--2 four year olds and 1 two year old. We've never done Santa..but we definitely have gone overboard. And this year, we have found ourselves in a new position. Pressed to pay the bills. Overwhelmed with a new mortgage we took on. So here I am pouting and depressed because I can't get my children the Barbies that I want to get them (and I say I because our children don't ask for a thing) or a tool bench for my son. Seriously, this message (and I say that sincerely because that's exactly what it is) pierced my soul. The LORD just opened my eyes and my heart to how selfish I am even with a small "want" list. Thank you...from the bottom of my heart.
Elizabeth Archer - December 12th, 2011 at 1:49 PM
In all of these glowing comments about your post- truly too many comments for one person to read and keep up with! ;o) I just wanted to say, putting "omg" and "bull crap" in a blog post about Christmas, kind of ruins your credibility.
Just my humble opinion.
(((HUG)))
Joyfully~ Elizabeth (mother to 20 children ages 4 to 36 yrs old and Grandmother to 6 ages 1 to 14 yrs old)
Just my humble opinion.
(((HUG)))
Joyfully~ Elizabeth (mother to 20 children ages 4 to 36 yrs old and Grandmother to 6 ages 1 to 14 yrs old)
Sheila Wienke - December 12th, 2011 at 9:03 PM
Jen ... I echo and repeat all of the kudos from above. I have only met you once sweet sister in Christ, but I know that you have truly been a blessing to so many. Not even sure if anyone will see this comment among the "millions" of others, but wanted to share anyway. Our family has a long way to go with the eviction of Santa from our Christmas traditions, but one thing we have always done (our kids are 8, 6,
Vicki - December 12th, 2011 at 9:42 PM
I left a comment, earlier today, thanking you for this post and all the ideas in it. I also asked you to consider including Compassion International, especially (for gift-giving) their Gift Catalog; through it, or at www.compassion.com/catalog, givers can choose gifts in amounts ranging from $5 well into the $$hundreds--gifts to be given in honor of your recipients to benefit children living in extreme poverty.
I don't know what happened to my comment, but I'm hoping this one makes it.
I don't know what happened to my comment, but I'm hoping this one makes it.
Elizabeth Crowe - December 13th, 2011 at 9:38 AM
So glad I stumbled across your blog. I wrote our story on my blog. Thank you for your honesty. It is reassuring to know our family is not alone. I hope more will start to realize the need for Jesus to be put back in Christmas. http://crowesnest6.blogspot.com/ ( link to my blog)
Elizabeth Crowe
Elizabeth Crowe
Kathleen - December 13th, 2011 at 1:15 PM
Wonderful post! I don't, however, get the 3 gifts deal in representation to the 3 wiseman. The 3 wisemen do not limit their gift to Jesus, in fact in that day the gifts they gave could have represented and entire months wage. Yeiks!!! So really, if you are aiming to mimic what the 3 wise men gave then you better dig deep!
I don't mean to ruffle feathers, but the illustration of the 3 wisemen is to remind us and our children to give our very best and most valuable things to Jesus. Our heart and our time.
In my opinion the giving at Christmas represents Gods outpouring of blessings on his children! We do this, not by limiting our gifts to a certain number...but making service, worship and GIVING a HUGE part of the celebration! Plus, receiving gifts gives our children the opportunity to flex their gratitude muscles!
I understand that it's a delicate balance...but using the 3 wisemens gifts as a model to teach our kids restraint is opposite of the 3 wisemens intentions!
I don't mean to ruffle feathers, but the illustration of the 3 wisemen is to remind us and our children to give our very best and most valuable things to Jesus. Our heart and our time.
In my opinion the giving at Christmas represents Gods outpouring of blessings on his children! We do this, not by limiting our gifts to a certain number...but making service, worship and GIVING a HUGE part of the celebration! Plus, receiving gifts gives our children the opportunity to flex their gratitude muscles!
I understand that it's a delicate balance...but using the 3 wisemens gifts as a model to teach our kids restraint is opposite of the 3 wisemens intentions!
Cheryl Mu - December 13th, 2011 at 2:12 PM
This blog post arrived in my home in CO VIA an electronic Christmas letter from East Asia! Lots to ponder, lots of affirmations and confirmations. I have been wrestling for many weeks with the name "Immanuel." What does my life look like in the context of my sweet Jesus dwelling here with me daily?
Love came down on Christmas Day (not going to get in to what that date is) and has chosen to dwell among us. So many songs speak to my heart this season, but the one I return to always is Welcome to Our World by Chris Rice "fragile finger sent to heal us, tender brow prepared for thorn, tiny heart whose blood will save us, unto us is born, unto us is born."
This season is a gift to all. A chance to share the One who loved us first.
Thank you, dear one and Merry CHRISTmas to you!
adding to the already wonderful list:
www.samaritanspurse.org/occ to build a box or go to their beautiful gift catalog
www.omf.org/us and follow the prompts to give to the work in East Asia.
Love came down on Christmas Day (not going to get in to what that date is) and has chosen to dwell among us. So many songs speak to my heart this season, but the one I return to always is Welcome to Our World by Chris Rice "fragile finger sent to heal us, tender brow prepared for thorn, tiny heart whose blood will save us, unto us is born, unto us is born."
This season is a gift to all. A chance to share the One who loved us first.
Thank you, dear one and Merry CHRISTmas to you!
adding to the already wonderful list:
www.samaritanspurse.org/occ to build a box or go to their beautiful gift catalog
www.omf.org/us and follow the prompts to give to the work in East Asia.
Cynthia - December 13th, 2011 at 2:15 PM
But that is the point many seem to be making. We are the church and in that we take Jesus 365 days to a lost and dying world. The gospel is the power not just for salvation but everyday in our lives. I really don't think Jesus cares how we choose to celebrate December 25, if we are living a gospel centered life. The beauty of a gospel centered life is that we will be led in all things pertaining to life and godliness and we are free to celebrate Christmas traditions as we choose. If we are abiding in Jesus and loving Him 364 days of the year, don't you think when Christmas day comes we will honer Him in the way we celebrate?
Caroline - December 13th, 2011 at 8:25 PM
My husband and I loved this post! We've been leaning in this direction as well and you've given us some great ideas! Thanks! :)
Kait - December 14th, 2011 at 3:00 AM
I was one of those kids that lost God when I found out about Santa . . . to me, Santa was tangible in a way God wasn't -- he left me proof under the tree. And seeing as my parents claimed both were real, when one fantasy went out the door, I assumed God should follow. That being said, I took it to the extreme, but God did miraculous, amazing work in my heart to bring me back to Him, so if you're doing the Santa thing, don't believe that you're going to ruin your children... but I can't emphasize enough how important it is to make a HUGE distinction -- to cherish Jesus and His reality in a way that makes it obvious who is real in your life -- who gives Ultimate gifts -- heck, why not use Santa's limitations to make an amazing contrast that Jesus gives ETERNAL LIFE.
Becky - December 14th, 2011 at 10:35 AM
Brilliant post. I love it.
www.rebeccabany.com
www.rebeccabany.com
Jennifer - December 14th, 2011 at 10:54 AM
We have made a decision this year to exit the world's idea of Christmas. Like you, this year will probably be a step that will progress with the years. How awesome would it be for families to "catch on" to this and for consumerism to die down during the holidays, for the world to "feel" our decision to refocus on Christ. Our pastor preached, saying that we have taught our kids that Christmas is about them!!! How sad, but true. Our change this year has been to have no big gifts, because we don't need the latest, greatest thing on the market. We're giving a few smaller gifts, mainly games we can play as a family and a clothing item, and that's all. Instead, our focus this year is on investing TIME with some of our bus kids from church. Our church has adopted them and is giving them things, but even that isn't what we want to do. These kids have no one giving them time, and usually that's what they need most, especially from a man, since most of their dads aren't present. Anyway, our family has gone and played football with them, taken them to local basketball games, and last night we took a couple of little boys out to eat and to see the Christmas lights at Rhema. Our kids, 13 and 11, are totally fine with our changes, and are enjoying seeing the needs of others. Thank you for sharing and for your ideas. The Bible says, "Do not be conformed to this world" and I'm pretty sure Christmas should be included in this!
talia - December 14th, 2011 at 1:25 PM
Excellent post. Absolutely love it!
felicia - December 14th, 2011 at 4:53 PM
Wow, this is an amazingly powerful post. It really speaks to me.
Diana - December 14th, 2011 at 7:17 PM
GREAT post. I have been wandering for a few weeks now about what it would look like if we were to celebrate Christmas as it was meant to be celebrated, as the birth of Christ. You gave me lots of great ideas - THANKS!
Ana - December 14th, 2011 at 7:33 PM
I love your article, I am glad I found it, somehow this year I was kind of doubting what I have been doing for 22 years. We never had a Christmas tree only the first year I married and my husband said no more, no more presents between each other because he never really gave me anything so I got the message, We put up lights one year when we got our house, but my husband was not interested so I bought an inflatable with the holy scene for our yard. We watch a lot of movies about the birth and resurrection and all the old cartoons, we give gifts to underprivileged people, is a kind of gift to Jesus too, and try to volunteer for something, we eat and give thanks, we pray and go to church, we talk about what it means for us what Jesus did and what the Father has given us, and we go through the World Vision catalogue to choose a gift for Jesus, after all, it is his birthday. Never have my house being invaded by the lie of Santa Clause since my mother never told me that neither, yet she used to decorate, she just did not understand very well since she had not converted at that point, but also did not lie to me, so I did not lie to my children neither. My husband and I don't want our family to lose focus on who we are honoring here and why. I think the more fantasy you feed your children when they are really young the more prone they are to believe lies later on in life. My hope is that when my children are grown and making a living, we all come together with money to pay for a bigger gift for Jesus.
Kelly - December 14th, 2011 at 10:18 PM
This could not have been put any better...amazing and lots to think about, and it is exactly why I choose not to teach my boys about Santa. Jesus can't compete with Santa in a child's eye, so remove the stumbling block of Santa and they can see Jesus clearly. There is two other non profits that have great opportunities during the holidays....one being Children's Hunger Fund and the other Gospel For Asia. Thank you for sharing!
melissa fleming - December 14th, 2011 at 11:15 PM
LOVED your post! I was saved 7 years ago and since we had children 5 years ago, i knew I didn't want to spend Christmas any other way than celebrating our Lord and Savior. We as a family, we have 3 kids now, all serve Christmas morning, whether it be at the Children's hospital or retirement home or battered woman's shelter, we served them breakfast that morning last year all in the name of Jesus. So thank you for the great ideas too and for the Advent ideas. I will be using them next year for sure. Also consider children's hunger fund all proceeds go to children physically and spiritually and also skip1.org, another GREAT christian organization to donate too. Keep up the GREAT posts
Sarah - December 15th, 2011 at 8:05 AM
Love these ideas, especially the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" guideline! Might do that next year!! We already don't do Santa but have explained to the kids (ages 5,4,2) who he is, and we don't even have TV just Netflix and movies. This year I didn't have it together enough to do nightly Advent devotions like the Jesse tree or family fun activities, but maybe next year. I did create a printable board game (trivia style) that goes through the REAL facts of the Christmas story and helps explain the Christian meaning behind some of our traditional decorations like tree, lights, and candy canes. It's usable for all ages (just delete the multiple choice answers for older kids), and we've enjoyed it! You can check it out here: http://inlightofthetruth.blogspot.com/2011/11/family-christmas-board-game.html I hope you have a wonderful CHRIST-filled Christmas!! =)
Miles - December 15th, 2011 at 9:48 AM
Wow. As someone with my first child on the way, God has been convicting me over the past several months about how I will shepherd my family. The coming Christmas season has made me uneasy, as I've wrestled with how our family will celebrate this time (while also not wanting to be THAT couple that everyone resents at Christmas because they give their children beans and make everyone uncomfortable). Jen, I can honestly say that your words were exactly what I needed. I've been aware of the beaten hands that work to make our luxuries, but I suppose I felt powerless to make a difference. But some of these websites and resources that you've shared are phenomenal! As a pastor, I plan on sharing these resources with my Church and Church members, and I'll do what I can to be a part of the change that our culture desperately needs.
Mostly, I want to thank you for this blog post. Honestly, the things you're saying aren't radical (at least, they shouldn't be considered that), but as Christians, I don't know how can continue to say one thing about Christmas while simultaneously enjoying Christmas for a completely different and ultimately a diametrically opposed reason. Thank you!
Mostly, I want to thank you for this blog post. Honestly, the things you're saying aren't radical (at least, they shouldn't be considered that), but as Christians, I don't know how can continue to say one thing about Christmas while simultaneously enjoying Christmas for a completely different and ultimately a diametrically opposed reason. Thank you!
Kristi - December 15th, 2011 at 12:03 PM
Feed My Starving Children
This is a GREAT non-profit organization that packages food. My kids love to pack food with me and they only have to be 5 years old to participate. They also sell direct trade stuff, that's even better than fair trade :) May I recommend the coffee. It is amazing!
www.fmsc.org
This is a GREAT non-profit organization that packages food. My kids love to pack food with me and they only have to be 5 years old to participate. They also sell direct trade stuff, that's even better than fair trade :) May I recommend the coffee. It is amazing!
www.fmsc.org
Renee - December 15th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
Indeed, something has happened to CHRIST Mass... humanity occurred. Sadly, Jesus has been relegated to the netherland of common tradition. Likewise, St. Nicholas has been maligned for the "bottom line"...the most bang for the buck.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/news/2004/nick.html
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/news/2004/nick.html
Reina - December 15th, 2011 at 8:42 PM
I said almost the same thing about 5 years ago and my SIL didn't talk to me for a year. YES one whole long year...She thought I was saying she was bad for giving so many gifts... It was a nightmare that I still stand by..Christmas is NOT about the gifts!!! In our house it never has been and never will be my kids are 7, 6 ,3 and 14 months... It's about Jesus and that's it....I have gotten rid of TV all together cause I am sick of the "need this and want that" crap!...anyways...I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel - December 16th, 2011 at 12:10 AM
Our family celebrates Jesus Christ every single day - through prayer, singing hymns, reading the scriptures, loving, serving, testifying. Jesus Christ was not born on December 25th. We *celebrate* Jesus' birth at Christmas-time but it didn't happen at Christmas-time.
For us Christmas is also about giving and making family memories. There isn't a "right" way or a "wrong" way to celebrate it with your family. For us we do a lot of presents - but a lot of them are things that we need. My kids LOVE picking out presents for Daddy and helping wrap them. They are also learning the joy of giving.
And let me tell you, I LOVE being Santa Claus. Such pure joy to pick out presents for your children and see the wonder on their faces Christmas morning. I respect people who want to "pull back" from the Christmas craziness, but I don't think it is wrong to have family traditions at Christmas that include Santa or reindeer or stockings. We love our Christmas craziness! :)
For us Christmas is also about giving and making family memories. There isn't a "right" way or a "wrong" way to celebrate it with your family. For us we do a lot of presents - but a lot of them are things that we need. My kids LOVE picking out presents for Daddy and helping wrap them. They are also learning the joy of giving.
And let me tell you, I LOVE being Santa Claus. Such pure joy to pick out presents for your children and see the wonder on their faces Christmas morning. I respect people who want to "pull back" from the Christmas craziness, but I don't think it is wrong to have family traditions at Christmas that include Santa or reindeer or stockings. We love our Christmas craziness! :)
Michelle P. - December 19th, 2011 at 12:25 AM
Interesting perspective, but it does not strike me as an entirely balanced approach.
carrien (she laughs at the days) - December 19th, 2011 at 12:38 AM
This post is a little bit of what we do with the conundrum. http://www.shelaughsatthedays.net/2011/12/st-nicholas-day-how-our-family-deals.html
We have never given gifts, thought we let grandparents and others who want to do so. We look for ways that our family can be a gift. My MIL gives the kids all a bit of money to use for blessing others also, "as a birthday present to Jesus." My favorite tradition is gathering with friends and family to sing all the wonderful advent and Christmas hymns that are so sorely neglected these days.
You've been well supplied with great shops here. I'd like to humbly add one more to the list. The nonprofit I and a few others founded a couple years back http://thecharisproject.org is creating a self sustaining model for orphan care in developing countries that helps to revitalize the communities orphans are found in as well. One of the means for that is through marketing fair traded, handmade goods, in our little internet store. http://thecharisproject.org/#/shop-for-gifts/4551677955
We have never given gifts, thought we let grandparents and others who want to do so. We look for ways that our family can be a gift. My MIL gives the kids all a bit of money to use for blessing others also, "as a birthday present to Jesus." My favorite tradition is gathering with friends and family to sing all the wonderful advent and Christmas hymns that are so sorely neglected these days.
You've been well supplied with great shops here. I'd like to humbly add one more to the list. The nonprofit I and a few others founded a couple years back http://thecharisproject.org is creating a self sustaining model for orphan care in developing countries that helps to revitalize the communities orphans are found in as well. One of the means for that is through marketing fair traded, handmade goods, in our little internet store. http://thecharisproject.org/#/shop-for-gifts/4551677955
Hayley - December 19th, 2011 at 12:18 PM
I have never commented on a blog before. BUT this article was so amazing I had to. My husband and I have both said so many times recently- what is the point of Christmas anymore? This article put it all into words for me. Thank you! So freeing to celebrate Christ and let the other stuff go. Merry CHRISTmas!!
Tara - December 19th, 2011 at 1:55 PM
This is brilliant. Brilliant. I don't have time to read it all right now, but I'll be back! I can't wait to read every word. Thank you!!!
Catherine - December 20th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
http://canvaschild.blogspot.com/2011/12/on-why-im-giving-gifts-to-my-children.html
A different perspective...
A different perspective...
Sherrel - December 20th, 2011 at 7:55 PM
We battled this battle 50 years ago when our children were young. But friends, grandparents, they didn't see what it hurt to take the kids to see Santa. I think we did a fair job of getting Santa out of Christmas, and while we're at it, the Easter Bunny out of Easter. Blessings on you for making people aware of our inconsistencies and pleading for the children to know the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus is all that matters.
Mel S. - December 20th, 2011 at 10:06 PM
Thanks for the timely word. Our boys are 3.5 and almost 2, and this is more relevant than ever for us. My husband and I, out of indecision, never taught our boys about Santa. Everything they learned has been from others (MIL {good Lord, that woman!}, mothers day out {sent us home with a bag of reindeer food?!}, movies, etc.) and we are wishing we'd been more proactive. However, it's less than a week from Christmas and we have tons of presents hidden in a closet for them and stuff to fill their stockings from Santa.
Thanks also for the wise word of "one step at a time." We tend to be of the all-or-nothing mindset, and need to remember that all the Christmas decisions don't have to be made right now. We'll continue to see what the Spirit does in our hearts on this issue.
Thanks also for the wise word of "one step at a time." We tend to be of the all-or-nothing mindset, and need to remember that all the Christmas decisions don't have to be made right now. We'll continue to see what the Spirit does in our hearts on this issue.
michele - December 21st, 2011 at 12:13 AM
Wow! thanks to you Jen and all who shared. great food for thought and fuel for community conversation. personally i find it hard to get excited about any holiday. they are usually full of stressful preparation followed by the letdown of unmet expectations. add to it the pressure of establishing healthy truthful traditions that will create beautiful share memories and promote kingdom values for my five small children...well let's just say i'm encouraged by the debate. no one has this thing figured out. it's okay and it's good to know that most of us are realizing the same thing. praise Jesus for family and friends and strangers on the internet. :) BTW we have never promoted santa yet my 4 year old informed my mother that santa was making his new trex at the toy shop and "pretend" elves were helping him. i'm not worried. we will continue to speak the truths we know, search for the truths we don't and trust God to lead us right. thanks for all the great ideas. the world vision catalog had already sparked some interest in our family. i look forward to adding some more of these advent ideas.
Marissa Pineda - December 21st, 2011 at 12:13 AM
Thank you for this post, I love it.
Christy - December 21st, 2011 at 6:08 AM
I've gone back and forth with the way to handle Christmas and the kids. I think it's like our choices to educate...they are each individual, driven by listening to the Spirit and bathed in prayer. And just like each year we will have to reevaluate the best educational choice for our children, I think we will have to do the same for Christmas. How we celebrate from one year to the next will grow and change as the kids grow and change, particularly in their faith walks. We can't force their spirits to connect with the true meaning of Christmas any more than we can force someone's spirit to connect with the truth of the gospel. It wasn't until God opened my eyes to the gospel that I fell in love with the true meaning of Christmas. Looking back at my own journey, I don't think that had my family celebrated with any more or less of Santa/presents/etc, that my appreciation of the true meaning of Christmas would have changed. It is about God's power and timing and plan. While I want to be a good steward of celebrating His birth, I was recently convicted that a lot of what I am doing and how I've done it could actually push my kids further from the gospel because I was stealing their joy and putting us on a trajectory toward legalism. This was especially evident when a neighbor shared with me how my eldest son said," Whoa. You watch TV on Sundays. We don't do that." Ughh! So he's totally missed the point of why we do certain things. He could have just as easily been, "You guys do Santa. We don't do that." (Or any number of things...dressing up on Halloween, etc., etc.) For every moment that we give to analyzing Santa and the like, we are missing out on a moment to pray for God to reveal Himself to our children. Let's get back to the true meaning of Saint Nicholas, a man who loved God and others, and not let Satan subtly distract us. In my opinion, Santa is neither here, nor there. Let's be more committed to praying for our kids' souls because once God reveals Himself to them, then His Spirit will convince them of Christmas' true meaning, and He will put Santa in the right place in their lives.
...just my 2 (or 3 or 4) cents! :-) Sorry to play devil's advocate! (And I love and appreciate all the wonderful advent ideas and look forward to using them. Thanks for sharing!)
...just my 2 (or 3 or 4) cents! :-) Sorry to play devil's advocate! (And I love and appreciate all the wonderful advent ideas and look forward to using them. Thanks for sharing!)
↳
abcdefg - December 26th, 2011 at 8:13 PM
I love this comment! Thank you......
matt - December 21st, 2011 at 8:03 AM
Here is another site which promotes hand made crafts from Tanzania
http://www.karamagifts.com/
http://www.karamagifts.com/
Pamela - December 21st, 2011 at 10:44 AM
You're changing the world.
Krystle - December 22nd, 2011 at 6:14 AM
Thank you for saying the words that I am not eloquent enough to express!
Tiffany G. - December 22nd, 2011 at 2:26 PM
Great blog post and I read it at just the right time back when you first posted it. Just now commenting, b/c I was wondering your take on kid's b-days? I'm already thinking about ours which are coming up in Feb and Mar. I so don't want to do the big party, but am unsure on how far to scale back. I hate receiving so many gifts for birthdays and right after Christmas. My husband and I try to keep it simple, but our families don't like the idea. Thanks.
Katie - December 23rd, 2011 at 8:04 AM
I stumbled onto your blog from a pin on Pintrest. What a wonderful post! Our family is actually not doing Christmas at all this year. Not because we don't love Jesus but because we do. Would it not be a wonderful challenge to each church to for one year do away with the Christmas propoganda - no tree, no presents - just wake up one morning and celebrate HIM and only HIM. I dare say few Christians would consider the idea. All the stuff we have, we get, we google - we would have none of it. Think about an "Advent Conspiracy" if Christians took back Christmas and celebrated just the Birth of Our King with our FULL HEARTS instead of our FULL HANDS. Thank you for a wonderful post!
mama - December 24th, 2011 at 11:43 AM
SO beautiful! Thank you for all your heartfelt choices and inspiration for others. We are still sorting out the best way to celebrate this amazing time with six small children, and this post stirred up some great discussion and options.
t h a n k y o u
i linked it on my post as well, hoping it will continue to bless and encourage others!
http://eatthestrawberries.com/2011/12/dancing-to-a-different-drummer/
t h a n k y o u
i linked it on my post as well, hoping it will continue to bless and encourage others!
http://eatthestrawberries.com/2011/12/dancing-to-a-different-drummer/
e - December 27th, 2011 at 11:50 AM
will you put an image at the top of this post? i want to share on pinterest! thanks! (i cant upload the pin without an image.)
Cindy - December 27th, 2011 at 12:07 PM
Great post. Thank you so much.
Tomorra - December 29th, 2011 at 12:44 PM
That was refreshing. Instead of shutting off the TV for December, why not shut it off all year long? While our consumerism is at its peak in December, the TV bombards us with what we can't live without all year long. In addition to that, it also fills our kid's impressionable minds with ideas of how it is OK to live without regard to God's Word and direction for our life. When I tell people we don't watch TV, I usually get a blank stare and questions about how we entertain ourselves. We talk and play games with eachother. Spending time with eachother not watching TV is a novel idea we seem to have forgotten in this culture. Thanks for your insights!
april - December 29th, 2011 at 10:10 PM
I'm posting a comment after Christmas has passed just to say I really like the ideas you present here. I've been wanting to simplify the holiday and make it more meaningful.
I have a question for you or anyone out there who can answer.
How can you accomplish this with grandparents who won't cooperate?
We have great parents who we love and are fortunate to have in our kids lives, but they are terrible at doing anything we ask them that they don't already want to.
We've never really mentioned Santa to our kids at all, but now at 4 and 3 they know about him because of school and their one grandma. She is extremely focused on how they need to believe in Santa and have holiday magic. She won't stop making a big deal about him with the kids no matter what we say.
The other problem is the presents. The other grandma is an extreme shopaholic. She has no self control with her shopping and it is actually causing problems in her own family life. With Christmas it gets even worse.
Even when we try to limit her in various ways she still goes overboard and buys each kid a mountain of presents. We've tried to explain wanting the kids to not be materialistic and she just blows us off and says kids deserve lots of toys. We've tried to tell her that we can't afford to compete with her and her other grandparents can't compete and it makes everyone else feel bad. She just sidesteps it and buys anyway. We've tried to tell her that we want the majority of presents to come from us and she just ignores us.
It's extremely frustrating. She is setting the kids up to think of the amount of presents being what important instead of the meaningfulness of the gift or the person giving it to you, etc.
And how do you instill the real meaning when the kids get 1-2 gifts at one grandparents, a few gifts at home and a mountain of gifts at the other grandparents?
I have tried everything short of threats and could really use ideas or advice. I would like next year to start making the holidays meaningful for my kids. To make them about giving to others and sharing love with eachother instead of starting them at these young ages thinking it's about the amount you get. We all know that doesn't really make anyone happy.
I have a question for you or anyone out there who can answer.
How can you accomplish this with grandparents who won't cooperate?
We have great parents who we love and are fortunate to have in our kids lives, but they are terrible at doing anything we ask them that they don't already want to.
We've never really mentioned Santa to our kids at all, but now at 4 and 3 they know about him because of school and their one grandma. She is extremely focused on how they need to believe in Santa and have holiday magic. She won't stop making a big deal about him with the kids no matter what we say.
The other problem is the presents. The other grandma is an extreme shopaholic. She has no self control with her shopping and it is actually causing problems in her own family life. With Christmas it gets even worse.
Even when we try to limit her in various ways she still goes overboard and buys each kid a mountain of presents. We've tried to explain wanting the kids to not be materialistic and she just blows us off and says kids deserve lots of toys. We've tried to tell her that we can't afford to compete with her and her other grandparents can't compete and it makes everyone else feel bad. She just sidesteps it and buys anyway. We've tried to tell her that we want the majority of presents to come from us and she just ignores us.
It's extremely frustrating. She is setting the kids up to think of the amount of presents being what important instead of the meaningfulness of the gift or the person giving it to you, etc.
And how do you instill the real meaning when the kids get 1-2 gifts at one grandparents, a few gifts at home and a mountain of gifts at the other grandparents?
I have tried everything short of threats and could really use ideas or advice. I would like next year to start making the holidays meaningful for my kids. To make them about giving to others and sharing love with eachother instead of starting them at these young ages thinking it's about the amount you get. We all know that doesn't really make anyone happy.
Simone - January 7th, 2012 at 12:35 PM
WHERE IS THE "LOVE" BUTTON. I don't remember how I stumbled upon your blog, but I'm so grateful that I did. WOW, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for sharing this.
Niccole - January 14th, 2012 at 2:17 AM
Jen, my family and I gave up the traditional "Christmas" 5 years ago when we moved to North Africa. It has been so much easier for us to not have Santa, a tree, gifts, etc., and to focus on the meaning of the Day (every day)...over here. It has not been easy though, and of course most family and friends think we're to "radical" or crazy! But it has been SO WORTH it! I am so thankful to have discovered that I have a like minded sister in you! Looking forward to doing your 7 study...we have so much in common! Praying for you as you bravely choose "Dying as gain."!
Matthew Warnar - June 23rd, 2012 at 2:30 AM
I think when we view Santa in the proper way, his presence at Christmas time is not a distraction at all! It's a great opportunity. An opportunity to teach our kids something beautiful and TRUE. I think if you are missing Santa, then you (and your kids) are missing out!
I wrote more on my blog here if anyone is interested. http://fallibleblogma.com/index.php/are-you-lying-to-your-children-about-santa/
Thanks for the thoughtful post!
I wrote more on my blog here if anyone is interested. http://fallibleblogma.com/index.php/are-you-lying-to-your-children-about-santa/
Thanks for the thoughtful post!
Kim L - August 22nd, 2012 at 2:37 AM
You know I really enjoyed your thought provoking post. It's to late for me to go back and undo how I raised my 4 adult children, but not to late to start with my youngest son. You know what is really weird? Tonight out of the blue he says to me, Mom you know I love Santa's not real. I didn't know how to answer that. After years of telling what is basically a lie, I had to have the discuss with my son. I wish now I could go back and start over. If I did, I would not celebrate Christmas in the way we did. I would put Jesus Front and Center!
Then after that happened with my son, a blogger shared this post and I came here and read it. Now is that a coincidence? The same night my son tells me, he knows there is no Santa Clause? It's amazing how God speaks to us. And tonight I Heard God Speak!
Then after that happened with my son, a blogger shared this post and I came here and read it. Now is that a coincidence? The same night my son tells me, he knows there is no Santa Clause? It's amazing how God speaks to us. And tonight I Heard God Speak!
denna's ideas - October 11th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
my favorite part of celebrating Christmas with my children has become our "advent celebration", where we get together every night in december, light a candle and read some stories, pray together, and sometimes hot chocolate. It is hard to actually make sure that it gets done every night, you have to fight to make it happen sometimes, but it is so worth it to pause, be together in peace and quiet, and pray together. I know that that will be a special part of their Christmas memories...oh, we also have them put together a puzzle each, one piece each night of december. Great post!!
Alli - November 22nd, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Love this post, Jen. I have been convicted of this for the past couple years, since really beginning to follow Jesus. Maybe someone can offer me advice, though: I am SOOO over Santa - but how do we break the news about him to our kids (10 and 4)?
Alli - November 23rd, 2012 at 9:05 AM
oh! one more thing - Jen, would you be willing to share some of your ideas for activities in the advent envelopes? I love the idea but I'm feeling a little overwhelmed about how to begin! thanks!
Vanessa - November 24th, 2012 at 5:37 PM
I heard a news report recently that the average American family will spend $700 this year on Christmas. $700 dollars!! Our family has not spent that much on all 6 of the Christmases that we have had with are children combined!
We have always tried to make Christmas about Jesus, but we do still give our children presents. This year I am putting my crafty side to work and making things like crocheted Angry Bird characters and super hero capes for my children. We will also buy them each a couple of toys that they have asked for, but I really like your gift giving idea and may think about doing that for next year. I also like how you have given them the opportunity to give to others.
One project that we did this year was Operation Christmas Child. I shopped all year for the shoe boxes by looking for things on sale and using coupons and made a few things to put in the boxes. It was a wonderful lesson in giving for my children. It took them a while to accept that the toys and other things were not for them, but I explained that the gifts were going to children who didn't have any toys and by the end of the year they were excited to drop off the boxes at church for the children who needed them.
We have always tried to make Christmas about Jesus, but we do still give our children presents. This year I am putting my crafty side to work and making things like crocheted Angry Bird characters and super hero capes for my children. We will also buy them each a couple of toys that they have asked for, but I really like your gift giving idea and may think about doing that for next year. I also like how you have given them the opportunity to give to others.
One project that we did this year was Operation Christmas Child. I shopped all year for the shoe boxes by looking for things on sale and using coupons and made a few things to put in the boxes. It was a wonderful lesson in giving for my children. It took them a while to accept that the toys and other things were not for them, but I explained that the gifts were going to children who didn't have any toys and by the end of the year they were excited to drop off the boxes at church for the children who needed them.
TL - November 24th, 2012 at 10:20 PM
The media in Australia figure that we will spend $400.00 EACH on Christmas presents! We really have to make an effort to stop the gimmee gimmee that has been created. It doesn't do anyone any good. I think everyone should spend some time in a place where people have little to nothing and see what it is like, get things back into perspective.
Christina - November 25th, 2012 at 12:08 AM
Thanks for this post! I'm a brand-new mom, married 4 years with a 10-month-old daughter. We're still in the incipient stages of building up family traditions, so this post is very welcome advice. I didn't read all the comments, but in case no one else has shared them yet, I wanted to add links to two of my favorite ethical gift sources: https://www.threeavocados.org/ and https://boliviasbestcoffee.com/ have delicious coffees grown and harvested without slave labor in support of two causes dear to my heart: providing clean, safe water to families and caring for orphans.
Jan - November 27th, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Be careful where you tread with all of this~~~~I don't believe in taking St. Nicholas out of the picture yet~~~~it is all how we teach our kids about St. Nicholas~~I hate to see the make believe taken out of our children's lives. You CAN have Santa and the meaning of Christmas at the same time. I don't know of anyone whose life was negatively affected by Santa~~~the negative aspect
is due to the parents who gave the gifts. I think your generation is trying to take the "fun" or
make believe that is so magical for kids~~~~you are only young once. And we were not damaged
by make belief~~~it made our little worlds more magical and helped us be creative.
is due to the parents who gave the gifts. I think your generation is trying to take the "fun" or
make believe that is so magical for kids~~~~you are only young once. And we were not damaged
by make belief~~~it made our little worlds more magical and helped us be creative.
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amanda - December 10th, 2012 at 3:01 PM
How do you define "damaged?" Make believe is fun and healthy for children as long as they know it is make believe. Anything else can, frankly, confuse them. If you define "damaged" as PTSD, then no, Santa and the eventual discovery he's not real probably doesn't do that. The "damage" is much more insidious than that. There is PLENTY of magic, REAL magic in the biblical version of Christmas. While I delight in making my kid happy and seeing that little face light up, I am tired of the temporary. I am tired of seeing a short-lived high that dissipates and eventually disappoints because ITS NOT REAL. I know people are really attached to traditions and the whole, "Mom and Dad did blah and I turned out fine" bit, but I am pulling out of the machine. You want to make some kids world "magical" teach her about the star. Teach her about the angels that heralded His arrival. Research the history of the images our children are bombarded with and try to figure out HOW they are connected to Christ. (No sarcasm here; it helped me understand there are some cool reasons why we have bells and candy canes and such). If the enemy can't have your soul, he will simply lie to you and render you distracted and ineffective. I am still trying to see how lying to our children (and it IS lying) and pushing them towards a belief that is all about selfishness is kingdom centered or ultimately good for them. How often do we lament "What is HAPPENING to the youth of today? Why are they so selfish and entitled?" But then I'm part of the generation that is taking the fun out of a lot of things. Like Easter. And church. And culture. And I may not have a clue as to what I'm talking about. I'm still searching my Bible, though for the commandment that says, "Thou shalt have fun".
Ellen - November 27th, 2012 at 4:51 PM
http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/who-is-st-nicholas/
This is the true story of St.Nicholas~~~~~apparently some of you have not read who he really is
This is the true story of St.Nicholas~~~~~apparently some of you have not read who he really is
Rachel - November 29th, 2012 at 7:55 PM
I love this post. I don't have children yet, but I am kind of up in the air on if I will do the Santa thing. I probably will, because my husband REALLY wants to. I do know that I will NEVER tell them that Santa is real. I won't lie to them, but it is fun to play pretend. I think I will tell them that Santa is pretend, just like Sesame Street, but that there are lots of fun movies about him and story books.
Lynn - November 30th, 2012 at 8:30 AM
I loved this, and a lot of the great ideas in the comments, too. My son is 4. He was asking last week if Santa was real, and I felt weird in trying to answer him. (I hadn't read this yet.) So I told him that Santa loves Jesus so much that he loves to spend Christmas Eve giving everyone presents to celebrate. My son asked, "does he give Jesus a birthday present, too? What if I want to give Jesus a present?" So I told him that Santa's last stop is Heaven, and that he loves bringing Jesus a present. So my sweet son said that he wanted to send Jesus a big hug and a note that says that he loves him, and I told him that we would write that note and wrap it up, and leave it out with Santa's milk and cookies. Then, Santa would deliver my son's gift to Jesus for him.
Is it perfect? no. Is it nixing Santa completely? no. But oh my, how sweet was his idea???
As you said, it took you four years to get things undone, and I'm still figuring out how we are going to strike our balance. I LOVE that the "let's use Santa to give Jesus a present" was my son's idea, and I love that when I asked him, this morning, what the real reason is for Christmas, he said, "Jesus' birthday".
Your blog was full of some great, thought-provoking ideas. I'm glad a friend shared it on FB!
Is it perfect? no. Is it nixing Santa completely? no. But oh my, how sweet was his idea???
As you said, it took you four years to get things undone, and I'm still figuring out how we are going to strike our balance. I LOVE that the "let's use Santa to give Jesus a present" was my son's idea, and I love that when I asked him, this morning, what the real reason is for Christmas, he said, "Jesus' birthday".
Your blog was full of some great, thought-provoking ideas. I'm glad a friend shared it on FB!
Chris K - December 7th, 2012 at 12:12 PM
It's so true! We are trying to inspire a "Christmas Revolution"! Check it out....http://www.givemygiftaway.org/. God bless!
Elise - December 10th, 2012 at 11:35 AM
holy moly. i promise i have never read this post before until today, but i wrote one almost exactly like it (except less hilarious and creative). i am so thankful to read similar thoughts here. http://www.themcclellandclan.blogspot.com/2012/12/sacrosanct-santa.html
G - December 10th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
This is so refreshing and awesome and wonderful. I have been struggling with this since our first child was born. We have never done "Santa" because I couldn't wrap my brain around how to make it work and still focus on Jesus. But then I start feeling guilty because everyone and their dog believes in Santa so my kids are the odd ones out. But I rejoice in knowing that I'm telling my children the truth.....and teaching them about Jesus. But I stink at making it ALL about Jesus. Thanks for the tips. Thank you so, so much.
Melissa - December 10th, 2012 at 3:59 PM
We couldn't agree more! Thanks for inspiring others to jump onbaord.
Kendra George - December 10th, 2012 at 10:07 PM
Bring it Jen!!
Jodi Tucker - December 11th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
Years ago I implemented a "three present" policy. Baby Jesus got three presents, so you get three presents. This was actually done to survive financially, not spiritually, but I am glad I thought of it and it sticks. Unfortunately, we now have 8 kids so that is 24 presents (help us Lord) but you would be amazed how hard it is to stick to three with the excess expected in our culture. Love you Jen
Candace - December 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
First time reader of your blog (a friend sent me the link just this morning) & I am blown away at both your sensitivity but also your boldness. Last night as my husband was reading a star wars book to our 4 & 6 year old boys before bed, I choked back tears that we weren't reading about Advent instead. When I voiced this concern to him afterwards he said "Well we can, why didn't you say something?" & all I could utter was "How can we compete??" Christmas, this ginormous consumer juggernaut vs. baby Jesus. Reading your words today I felt it tug again, but instead of feeling despair that it couldn't possibly be done without our children growing to hate us & vowing to do "right" by their own children at Christmas, I felt hope. Excitement, even. Thank you for your words & your challenge to be different. As believers we become accustomed to having to make sacrifices & show the world we are different. & yet, so often, things like this, Christmas, become blind spots in our faith that we truly can not reconcile & lining up our theology with our reality seems impossible. Thank you very much for this post!!
Debra - December 11th, 2012 at 12:02 PM
Thanks for the suggestions on how to deal with Santa. We don't have kids yet - but hope to someday. We've already talked about how we won't lie to our kids and wont be getting on the Santa bandwagon. Your suggestions about what to explain to the kids instead is very helpful.
Patti - December 11th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
Thank you for the reminder once again. When my now 15 year old was little, my husband and I decided that Santa wasn't for us either. At the time, my feeling was why should Santa get all the credit when my husband works so hard to provide for our family - I wanted our kids to appreciate that the reason they were blessed with gifts under the tree was because daddy goes to work each morning. This in itself was a gift as I've watched our 3 children grow up with an appreciation for their dad. My daughter says everyday when she gets home from school "I can't wait for Christmas Eve!" It has nothing to do with gifts and everything to do with the traditions that come with the season - the food we eat, the stories we tell, the families that celebrate with us... those are the things they remember. Our favourite family tradition, now in its 5th year, is one that finds us picking names and making a gift for that family member. It means my kids need to know what their brother or sister or mom or dad is interested in and care enough to invest their time creating something memorable for that person. My son learned to crochet a few years ago to make me scarf, all of my kids have learned to sew as they've made fun stuffed animals, pillowcases and blankets, they've learned pottery to make mugs - so much more enjoyable than fighting the crowds at a mall! Blessings to your family as you keep discovering that narrow, beautiful path that Jesus lays before you!
Jeremiah - December 11th, 2012 at 8:46 PM
Wow, I couldn't agree more. As believers we are right there with you, and have already started implementing most of what you suggested. Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts. I will be sharing this!
Heather - December 11th, 2012 at 9:49 PM
Thank you so much for sharing! This is right where God has my heart. This year, we tried, as best we could, to make all our gifts or only buy gifts from places that used the money to help the poor, the widows, or to free someone from trafficking. It's been the best season so far!
Amanda - December 12th, 2012 at 11:23 AM
Absolutely LOVE this post!! This is our families first Christmas doing things COMPLETELY non-traditional. We live in a land filled with poverty...and that has really changed our perspective on what is 'important' during the Christmas season.
Another great site that sells products that are made in Haiti by Haitian Artists is http://2ndstorygoods.com/
Absolutely love the people working there and all that they do! They are part of Much Ministries http://muchministries.org/ here in Goniaves Haiti.
Another great site that sells products that are made in Haiti by Haitian Artists is http://2ndstorygoods.com/
Absolutely love the people working there and all that they do! They are part of Much Ministries http://muchministries.org/ here in Goniaves Haiti.
Rebekah - December 13th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Love this post! Thank you for the links to slave labor free gifts. I am now aware that I need to be more conscious about this.
Much to the dismay of our family, my husband and I have never "done" Santa with our boys ages 3 and 6. We decided right away that we would never lie (even if it's for "fun") to them. This includes telling them the truth about Santa. We share with them the story of St Nicholas and we do stocking in the memory of his love for Jesus. We only do three presents per child. If three presents were good enough or Jesus, it should be sufficient for us, right? More than anything, we celebrate the birth of our Savior by doing Advent, serving others and not buying into commercialism. We desire to make much of Jesus' birthday!
Jen- I love the idea of doing family activities along with reading scripture every night. Do you have a list of your scriptures and activities that you could share? Thanks!
Much to the dismay of our family, my husband and I have never "done" Santa with our boys ages 3 and 6. We decided right away that we would never lie (even if it's for "fun") to them. This includes telling them the truth about Santa. We share with them the story of St Nicholas and we do stocking in the memory of his love for Jesus. We only do three presents per child. If three presents were good enough or Jesus, it should be sufficient for us, right? More than anything, we celebrate the birth of our Savior by doing Advent, serving others and not buying into commercialism. We desire to make much of Jesus' birthday!
Jen- I love the idea of doing family activities along with reading scripture every night. Do you have a list of your scriptures and activities that you could share? Thanks!
Jaime - December 13th, 2012 at 4:32 PM
My knee-jerk reaction is to agree with you on all of this, but then I remembered how much Santa meant to me as my faith was forming as a child. My response is here: http://www.biglittledays.com/in-defense-of-santa-claus/
Beth - December 14th, 2012 at 11:55 PM
I so enjoyed your post. I just wanted to add a couple of thoughts about Santa Claus. My children are now grown (3 in their 20's and the youngest is 18). When they were small, I got soooo tired of hearing and seeing Santa Claus at Christmas. What really helped me was learning more about the real St. Nicholas, who loved Jesus and shared God's love by helping the poor and needy. Story has it that he put gold coins into a stocking and dropped it down the chimney of a poor family so their daughter would have money for her dowry and could get married. (Hence the tradition of Christmas stockings filled with gifts.) My husband and I never encouraged our children to "believe" in Santa. Instead, we chose to celebrate St. Nicholas on Dec. 6, which was his birthday. I collected a few classic St. Nicholas figurines (from thrift stores and garage sales) which were displayed that day and we'd talk/read about St. Nicholas (a favorite resource is the book "Celebrate the Christian Year" by Martha Zimmerman), have some gold foil covered chocolate coins or a small gift that reminded us of him (he like to make gifts out of wood so a simple wooden toy was a good gift). Then the figurines were put away. This allowed us to acknowledge and appreciate St. Nicholas for who he really was and it served to enhance our Advent season and the appropriate focus on Jesus, rather than detract from it. Even now when my children are older, we still make note of St. Nicholas Day. Sometimes I send them a chocolate foil covered St. Nicholas in the mail; this year it was just a "Happy St. Nicholas Day" text. It still serves to remind us of a wonderful Christian man from years ago whose actions are worth remembering today.
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Emily - December 19th, 2012 at 11:14 AM
Hi Jen-
I just read your post. AMEN!!! Your thoughts are exactly what my husband and I have been feeling for a little over the past year. For us, it has not just been in regards to Christmas gifts though, but to everything we purchase. God has really asked us to question who and what we are supporting with our money. This has lead us to create a new organization, Consumers in Christ, our goal is to create and support a Christ centered economy. We are still finalizing the details of our organization but the first component is up and running - a shopping directory, to help Christians connect with organizations and products that Glorify God. Several of the organizations that you mentioned are on our site and I am adding a few that weren't.
Please check us out:
http://consumersinchrist.org/shopping_directory.html
Share with your readers if you feel called!!
Blessings,
Emily Betzler
I just read your post. AMEN!!! Your thoughts are exactly what my husband and I have been feeling for a little over the past year. For us, it has not just been in regards to Christmas gifts though, but to everything we purchase. God has really asked us to question who and what we are supporting with our money. This has lead us to create a new organization, Consumers in Christ, our goal is to create and support a Christ centered economy. We are still finalizing the details of our organization but the first component is up and running - a shopping directory, to help Christians connect with organizations and products that Glorify God. Several of the organizations that you mentioned are on our site and I am adding a few that weren't.
Please check us out:
http://consumersinchrist.org/shopping_directory.html
Share with your readers if you feel called!!
Blessings,
Emily Betzler
Rebecca - December 22nd, 2012 at 6:16 PM
Hey, I loved your post and I AGREE. I am trying so hard to create a Christmas that is really centered around the Savior. As part of this I persuaded my husband to record the Christmas story set to music out of the the KJV of the Bible. It is so beautiful, and I would love to send you a free copy to use with your own family. If you love it as much as I do, I was hoping you'd write about it? Any chance? It brings back a tradition that I love so much and makes it easy to do with lots of kids. My website is: www.christianfamilyfun.com I blog all about Christmas traditions that bring the Savior back as the center of the celebration. I hope you have a truly Merry Christmas!
Am - December 28th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
you do realize that Jesus wasn't born on Christmas and that all the traditions that we celebrate are actually neo-pagan rituals of nature worship? I.E, decorating evergreens, winter solstice
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