by Jen Hatmaker on December 12th, 2011

About this time of year, I become terribly enamored with people’s End of Year Lists shared on the interwebs (Top Ten Books I Read in 2011, Top Five Influencers in My Life This Year, Top Twenty Songs that Mattered in 2011). These blogs and articles discuss issues that matter, helping humanity evolve into a kinder, braver species. They give readers edifying information, important thinkers to listen to, profound books to read, noteworthy leaders to follow. These writers take their platforms and use their influence for great good. I admire them so much.

I’m joining their ranks, but with *slightly* less necessary information.

People, I have issues, and I believe it is time to air them. I’ve covered plenty of serious material on this blog, like this and this and this. I might have even tricked some readers into believing I operate only in deep thoughts and serious scholarship. Some of you haven’t recovered from my last post, when my family jumped off Santa’s sleigh and half the world came apart at the seams (let it never be said that I don’t employ a healthy amount of melodrama). So it’s time for some lighter fare, or as one of my commenters said on a previous blog about adoption: “You are the worst writer I’ve ever seen! This is exactly what I would expect from a girl from Texas, land of big hair bows and empty brains.” Good reader, I shall dabble in that of which you speak.

Here’s the deal: I’m plagued by a few idiosyncrasies, certain quirks, if you will. I exhibit some behaviors and tendencies that cause people to say, “Really? Get a grip.” I’m daring to believe there are more of you out there, and hear me say right up front: I expect you to offer some quid pro quo at the end of this little piece, because nothing fuels our eccentricities more than another human saying, “You think that’s weird? I’ve saved all my toenail clippings since 1991.”

So without further ado, I give you: Jen’s Five Top Quirks of 2011 (ok, and forever):

1. I’ve let on that I’m not a hovering Mama. My kids slide down banisters and build skateboard ramps and shoot each other with airsoft guns. I parent this behavior by saying, “Don’t cry about it if you get hurt. Or cry in your room where I can’t hear you.” But I have two issues that make me a candidate for Most Neurotic, Controlling Mom Ever: my kids’ sleep and their body temperature.

Since the day they were born, I’ve been a sleep Nazi. I count their hours. I watch the clock. When someone with credentials said, “Children needed ten hours of sleep at night. Believe me”…I did. I believed. I’m a believer. I enjoy my true comfort zone when they get twelve hours. I spaz out – one might say irrationally – when bedtime boundaries get pushed past my liking: “OHMYWORD. It’s 10:13pm and Gavin is still up. We might as well keep him home tomorrow, because he will not be able to lift his head from exhaustion.” I am a freak about a good night’s sleep. A full freak.

Also? I have a very weird fixation about their body temperature. Are you hot? Are you cold? Are you feeling chilly? Are you overheating? Do you need a coat? Where is your coat? Give me your coat. Are you hot? Take off your undershirt. Do you need some water? Do you need to sit in the shade? Do you need to sit in the sun? Do you have enough blankets? Is this blanket too heavy? If you get hot, push this blanket down. If you get cold, here is an extra blanket. Are you hands cold? Are your feet hot? You need a hat. Put on this hat. You can’t go out if you don’t wear this hat. Take off your hat; it’s too hot outside.

After asking Ben about his heat level 28 times from the sidelines at his soccer game, my friend Tonya was like, “Oh my gosh, Jen! Crazy alert! Leave him alone! You are even freaking me out.” I believe she was one second away from slapping me across the face.

I evidently don’t care a whit about other issues, for example, safety or ingesting poisons. This clearly doesn’t bother me:
"Don't worry, Babe. The eleven-year-old is in charge."

My kids could jump from a second-story window onto a mattress below while testing the feasibility of wind-resistant capes/umbrellas, and I believe my only concern would be if they were getting too hot or if was getting too close to bedtime.

2. For nearly my entire adult life, I’ve lived in Austin, “Live Music Capital of the World.” We are chock-full of serious musicians and indy singer-songwriters. We have actual producers and artists in our immediate friend circle. I can listen to interesting, unique, creative music any night of the week at two-dozen different venues. Austin hosts ACL and SXSW, two of the best music festivals in the country. This is a city where musical taste matters and is evaluated as a potential character flaw.

I love Top 40.

Like, love it. The sillier, the boppier, the more likely a twelve-year-old girl will have their poster on her walls, the higher the band is on my Love List. If it’s in Tiger Beat, I’m down. Almost every song I love ends up on a Kidz Bop CD. My musical preferences are fully juvenile and unsophisticated. My friends groove to bands called My Morning Jacket and Fleet Foxes, discussing the genius of the songwriting and creative brilliance. You know what I love? A sixteen-year old covering a Bruno Mars song on American Idol. (My friend Andy is a musician’s musician, and when Brandon mentioned my AI obsession and Andy gave me that look, I yelled at Brandon, “Why did you out me! I want him to take me seriously and now he pities me!”) Sydney, my sixth grader, and I were talking to a friend who casually mentioned Maroon 5 was coming to Austin, and we screamed in unison, “OH MY GAH!!!!”

Yes, I turn the channel when the raunchy fare comes on, and even I cannot listen to K$sha, but Flo Rida? Get in my ears. And don't mind me while I dance and sing at the top of my lungs. Whatever. This is my jam, keep me partying till the a.m. Yall don’t understand, make me throw my hands in the ayer, ay-ayer, ayer, ay-ayer…

3. This is unfortunate, because I’ve gone and put five kids in this family, but I have a teeny, tiny issue with sound. I call it Noise Pollution, and it makes me a little bit of a crazy person. White, background noise has been known to make me unravel like a lunatic. My family has been carrying on, just going about their business, talking to each other with a show on the TV and living a normal life, when all of a sudden, with no warning or even any red flags indicating an impending meltdown, I’ve flown into their midst like the Wicked Witch snatching remote controls out of hands, turning off every beeping, clicking, humming, buzzing, ticking electronic or instrument offending me, yelling at everyone about appropriate sound levels and demanding to know if they think causing deafness and anxiety in other human beings is acceptable. Usually, six bewildered people look back at me with mouths hanging open, as it might appear the punishment did not fit the crime.

Except that it so did.

The amount of sound trapped in my car between kids + music has actually made me consider sticking knitting needles into my eardrums. Once, the unceasing noise enclosed in the small space of my car pushed me to such despair, I pulled over on the side of I-35, locked my children in the car, walked fifty feet away and sat in the grass bawling, while my kids pressed their faces to the windows mouthing, “MOMMY! MOMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MOMMY?!”

I cannot write one word, not one, if there is a single decibel of sound in the room. What? Try a little quiet Adele in the background? Are you trying to sabotage my career? Because that is what would happen. I would start typing song lyrics and lose fifteen minutes thinking about how to kidnap Adele and lock her in my closet and make her sing to me whenever I just feel like rolling in the deep because no one in my house understands me. I need an empty, dead silent house to eek out a ten-word sentence, so when “someone” who lives here with me, who doesn’t go to school and is sometimes home during the day when the quiet space is possible keeps asking me questions like how do you spell in lieu of and did you put that thing in our shared iCalendar and I’m thinking about getting a new tattoo, I might accidentally come freaking unglued and threaten to move into an apartment. (This scenario is hypothetical.) (No it’s not.)

4. I love humor. I love to laugh. I love funny, stupid movies. I love funny people. I love sarcasm and banter. I love witticisms. I love Will Ferrell. I love banal comedy. I am a recent convert to Melissa McCarthy and plan to be her loyal disciple until I die. I believe laughter is the best medicine, and laugh and the world laughs with you, or some such.

But I cannot handle pranks. Can. Not. Even. Handle. Them.

Remember The Tom Green Show and Punk’d and The Jamie Kennedy Experiment? These shows almost put me into a coma. When a bunch of people are in on it, and one person doesn’t know it, and they are forced into an awkward/horrifying/embarrassing/confusing/distressing situation, AND IT IS BEING FILMED, I start praying for the rapture. My anxiety goes straight through the roof. I spontaneously develop hysterical psychosis.

When we were caught in massive delays for our son’s adoption, my friend Missy decided to post a funny Youtube video on my Facebook wall every day until we passed court. It was her Youtube Ministry, and it gave us such gems as this:
This made me happy for like 11 hours.

But a couple of months in, she started posting some prank videos, and they strangely drew no response from me. Finally she was like, What up, Mrs. Ungrateful?? That video was GOLD and you didn’t even comment! And I was all, I JUST CAN’T DO IT, OKAY? *in a small voice*…I couldn’t even watch. Then she was like, you’re weird, weirdo.

So please just note, if you invite me in on a prank, I will be voted Most Likely To Prematurely Yell At The Top Of My Lungs:

It’s not true! She’s not really hurt!
Oh my gosh! It’s not even your real car!
The waiter is an actor!
Don’t cuss! He’s not cheating on you!

I will ruin the prank. Count on it. And if you pull one on me, you’re dead to me.

5. So, I hate good-byes. And not just the legitimate kind like when someone is moving to Boston or going back home after visiting. I just hate them all. I can’t explain this. I am absolutely that person who slips out of a party like a ninja rather than doing a big good-bye scene, which if you’re still with me and on your toes, you might recognize is WAY WORSE. If my purse is in the hostess’s line of vision and Brandon won’t indulge my eccentric exit habits by getting it for me, I will leave it behind and make her put it on her porch where I can retrieve it the next day. I can’t tell you how many texts like these I’ve received:

Hey! Where did you go?
Did you leave?
What happened to you?
Did someone kidnap you? Are you in a trunk?

Even if I am 100% positive that this is the last time I’ll see you for a year, your bags are packed and in your car, which is running, and everyone is buckled in except you, your husband is giving the wrap-it-up gesture, and we’re standing in front of your sold house where the moving van just pulled away to head to your new life in Atlanta, I will say, “Let’s just talk later. I’ll see you before you leave.” I will say this. I will find a way to not have the good-bye moment, even if it is clearly, clearly the good-bye moment.

I can talk in front of 5000 people without so much as twitch, but give me a farewell to navigate and I shut down, a tad bit fixated on just getting away to a safe place where no one is saying the good-bye words and/or watching me say the good-bye words and I’m just nice and happy in my own home, even though Brandon is all, knock it off and stop being rude and just get in there and say good-bye, and I’m like, I DON’T WANT TO AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME. I am like Rain Man and Brandon cannot handle my neuroses:

Charlie: What's it going to be Ray? What's it going to be?
Raymond: This is a very dangerous highway.
Charlie: How am I going to get to LA?
Raymond: Course driving your car on this interstate is very dangerous.
Charlie: You want to get off the highway will that make you happy?
Raymond: Yeah.
Raymond: Course in 1986, 46,400 male drivers were definitely involved in fatal accidents.

Please someone diagnose what sort of weird social disorder I have.

So there you are, folks, the top five. Please trust me, there are many, many others, some that make even less sense than these. (I didn't even mention my physical need to use italics and ellipses. I can't explain my need to emote.) Now your job is to share your "issues," because I know you people are weirdos. I cannot be the only one.

What are your quirks, tendencies, neuroses, or bizarre fixations? And if you say “my strangest habit is being too kind,” I will delete your response. Fo’ realz. Spill it.

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Lundie - December 12th, 2011 at 4:07 PM
This is awesome and I must go write a post just like it. Plagiarism = flattery, right?
jamie ivey - December 12th, 2011 at 4:15 PM
I hang new clothes on the left, so that what you haven't worn in a while is on the right. I do this to my kids too. I hate when they only pull clothes from the left. I need to explain this to them. Surely they don't always want to wear the same Transformers shirt every single time it is clean.
Misty - January 27th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
I do the same! My oldest gets it, my middle child is clueless, and my youngest defiantly takes from the left.
Cynthia - December 12th, 2011 at 4:16 PM
First of all, This made me laugh! I LOVE it! Glad to know that I'm NOT the only one out that is quirky. I often feel like I am.

I'm addicted to exclamation points. I LOVE using them!! Sometimes I use them because...I don't even know why. Sentences seem like they are happier with them. So the more exclamation points the better. However, if there are too many I. JUST. CAN'T. HANDLE. IT.

With that said, I can also have a complete breakdown if I don't know whether I should use a comma or a semi-colon to separate a sentence. I will completely change the sentence so that I don't look like a fool because in my head I am convinced that I am the only person who doesn't know how, when, and where to use a semi-colon.

Feel Better?
Elizabeth - December 13th, 2011 at 11:35 PM
You need to read Hyperbole and a Half on grammar and punctuation - hysterical!

Dawn - December 21st, 2011 at 2:48 AM
If putting a period in place of the comma would make two complete sentences, use the semi-colon. If not, use the comma.
Ashley - December 12th, 2011 at 4:16 PM
This is a hoot. Glad it's not just me. I do not obsess about sleep, or temp, but I frequently lose it over noise. We did it to ourselves, having 4 kids, but seriously? Inside voices, people! And the saying goodbye thing...absolutely. It's so weird, too, but I'm with you. I'm glad you're a freak.
Laura - December 12th, 2011 at 4:25 PM
It is sherBET, NOT "BERT," and that drives me CRAZY!!! I can't let it go...
Shari - December 12th, 2011 at 7:35 PM
I'm with you!
Ellen - December 13th, 2011 at 6:23 PM
I don't think I can say it without that second R....
Glenn - December 12th, 2011 at 8:21 PM
Only one R in Sher-bet -- educated people who say Sher-BERT should be shot!
Rachel - December 13th, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Amen and amen...I don't want to be the "actually it's sherbet" person all the time, but it's like a tick...I can't stop myself from saying it!
Ashley - December 13th, 2011 at 10:48 AM
So it's probably not ok that I am an educated person and never realized it wasn't sherBERT till now! I guess I'm a product of being raised in the south and not paying attention. On that note it drives me nuts when people say supposeBLY no it is supposeDLY get it right!! But I guess I just proved I'm no better than them!a Thanks for enlightening me so sorry for the sherbet violation promise not to do it again!!!! hahaha!!!
Laura - December 13th, 2011 at 1:53 PM
Awesome- people helping people. :)
Kerrie - December 14th, 2011 at 2:57 PM
Two Rs. The bert R is invisible. But don't worry- it drives my husband insane, too.
Robin - December 12th, 2011 at 4:26 PM
I realized today that I am that quirky person on the elevator who greets everyone as they enter and exit. "Hi, what floor?," "How are you?," "Have a great day!" In retrospect, that is probably so obnoxious. These folks are captive on the elevator and I'm the giddy elevator greeter. Quirk two: Who left the lights on? I heard that a gazillion times growing up and guess what? I own that now. Why is the light in the kitchen on...why is the garage light on...Thankfully, I never picked up the "were you raised in a barn" expression from my mom. But the best quirk of all: I buy pretzels and eat the salt off them, but not the pretzel itself. I mostly do this at home but sometimes I slip up and, well, my lunch companions are happy to point it out with a mixture of disbelief and dismay.
Misty - December 12th, 2011 at 8:20 PM
I totally had the step-dad who cared about why every light is on, and I have totally turned into him too! :) (I may also use too many happy faces when I type) :)
Brandi - December 14th, 2011 at 11:25 AM
YES! I cannot leave my house with lights on. I often spend my evenings with only the light of the computer as well. My friends think it's weird - I think it saves money on my electric bill. Unfortunately, I spend all of the money I save on hot water b/c while I think you should NEVER leave a light on - I also think that I should be able to use every single drop of hot water in every shower I take. So much for the savings....
jodi - December 12th, 2011 at 4:26 PM
Let's hang out, drink a lot of good wine,
jodi, again - December 12th, 2011 at 7:13 PM
LOL! I can't believe this is all that posted. typical... what I meant to write was...Let's hang out, drink a lot of good wine,
ugh - December 12th, 2011 at 8:34 PM
Good grief. Never mind. Lol
Hannah - December 12th, 2011 at 4:28 PM
Ok, I can totally relate to #3 and #4!! My Dad is a little OCD, so I really blame him about the noise level issue. Like right now, I am typing up this note, while my daughter tries to tell me what she is making with the playdough and I have to take a little break from reality or I might freak out at a little 3 year old who has no idea what is going through CRAZY MOMMY'S brain!
Also, having 8 brothers in my life, needless to say, pranks abounded! AND I HATE THEM! I don't like "surprises", pranks, tricks, or slimy presents!!! Oh mylanta! Is it really so hard to understand? I love to laugh, tell me a joke, tell me a hilarious, outrageous, completely unbelievable and embellished story, and I am a happy woman! BUT NO PRANKS!! :O)
I absolutely love your blog, devotionals, facebook updates and stories! God has truly blessed you with a gift, and I, for one, and thankful!
God bless!
Julie - December 12th, 2011 at 4:29 PM
Me and only me (or is that I and only I?) am allowed to read, comment, and recommend a new book, online article, joke, and/or blog post for it to be considered "new." For instance, let's say the mail arrives with my magazine subscription, "How to Survive and Thrive During the Coming Zombie Apocalypse," and let's suppose that my spouse reads said MENSA (or is that MENSE?) worthy subscript before me and I learn of such travesty. What will happen due to my quirk? Well, I will have no desire to read said magazine. EVER. Even if the Zombies have sticks of butter and are slathering down my body for dinner I.will.not.read. And why is that, you ask? Because me...I...did not read it first. Rendering it thus impotent, inert, and useless. There you go.That's how I roll.
Molly - December 12th, 2011 at 4:29 PM
I hate watching stand up comedians. It makes me nervous and I don't enjoy even the funny jokes because I'm too busy listening to the audience to hear if anyone is laughing. I'm embarrassed for them before the show even starts.
Someone will say, "Watch this guy, his bit about _____ (children, women, marriage, being from the south, security, hot pockets, etc.) is hilarious!" I'm already texting my sister to call me so I can take the call and have to leave the room. I can't explain it.
Damon - December 12th, 2011 at 4:34 PM
Literally busted up laughing in my office picturing you throwing your hands in the ay-er...ayyyy-eeeer! Yes, you are still the quirky girl from high school I remember, and I mean that in the best way possible.
Laura - December 12th, 2011 at 4:37 PM
I'm normally a very sweet soul, but ominous Facebook posts make me want to hurt somebody. Don't announce "I am so over it." or "Why do I even try?" to 300 people without explanation. It makes you look like you are 12 and/or a Kardashian.
Julie R - December 12th, 2011 at 8:38 PM
Oh my gosh! I am SOOOO with you on this one!!
It does remind of someone like the Kardashians - just trying to get attention!!
Susie - December 13th, 2011 at 7:49 AM
100% agree. I'm going to start posting "Hey! I'm having a sucky day- Someone please ask me what's wrong!"
Robin - December 13th, 2011 at 8:04 AM
Oh, my! I have a high school friend who does that (and we are now in our late 40s). She'll post "I hope today is better than yesterday" or "Why don't people tell the truth?"
Blessed - December 12th, 2011 at 4:38 PM
I have heard that someone in our house is a nut about germs. Oh sure send me, err I mean them to India and she used Purell going and coming but there she did. Or think twice about kissing, touching, hugging, moisturizing up any and everyone she could get her hands on. Take me, err her to church and after "share mono with the person next to you" she will bathe in Purell. Baths are mandatory, every.time. You walk thru the door. People come over and when the door is shut a Lysol bomb goes off. There's. Big difference between first world and third world germs. Or so I have been told.
Monica - December 12th, 2011 at 4:38 PM
OK, so I stick my hands under my armpit then smell them. Oh, wait..that one is already taken. However, when I do have a bad habit of smelling things...when I was younger, I was obsessed with the purple paper run-offs (pre-copiers) and gasoline. I believe today that falls into some sensory category, but I am just fond of the way things smell. Grassy fields in the mid-atlantic during the Fall remind me of soccer season, which reminds me of my mom cheering on the side lines. I have my smells of the season. Like you, I cannot function with noise. God rewarded me with three of the loudest children on the face of the earth. Say he doesn't have a sense of humor? I also cannot write or think with any noise...at least nothing of value. That is probably why I am have a Facebook addiction. I can only read and write nonsense with all the background noise. I am quite OCD. Things need to be done in a certain order, even when that order makes zero sense to anyone other than me. When I workout, I need to do it for an exact number of minutes. If I get cut short, I will definitely add those minutes on somewhere else during the day...running stairs, doing push up, etc. Finally, Weird Al is my hero.
kimmellee - May 31st, 2013 at 4:22 PM
It's called Sensory Processing Disorder or Sensory Information Dysfunction. A good book is the Out of Sync Child. All of my kids (and by default me too) have it. I'm very scent oriented.
Sharen - December 12th, 2011 at 4:39 PM
Two posts in the same month....this is very exciting!!
Lola - December 12th, 2011 at 4:46 PM
1) I hate flies. If a fly gets in my house it turns me into a screaming, cursing, dish-towel brandishing candidate for Bedlam. I cannot sleep if one of the little turds is zooming in their oh-so-lazy way around my house.
2) I talk to myself. A lot. I try to pretend I'm talking to my kid when I say things aloud like "high fructose corn syrup-nooooo, lemme see 'added ingredient' hah! Wonder what the heck that is" at the grocery store. But now that she can talk too, she's fronting me out. She actually asked me "Mommy what ARE you talking about?"
3) Weeds make me angry. My neighbors must seriously want to call the State Hospital for me. Weeds in my yard above issues= crazy alert. "C'mere you (grunt) little (frantic pulling of offensive foliage) bast**d! Get OUT of my garden!"
4) I love the smell of FRESH raw meat. NOT the grocery store raw meat. The kind that was grazing in the forest two hours ago. Don't judge.
5) I too CANNOT HANDLE white noise. Once took the MMPI (?) personality test for a job I was applying for. The question "Does external noise bother you" came up phrased three different ways and was always answered YES. Needless to say I did not get that job. You're welcome, public safety.
Re-reading above makes me sound like a serial killer. I will use a pseudonym here. And perhaps I will make that number 6.
6) I have a serious problem using my real name in cyberspace. :))))
Bri - December 13th, 2011 at 1:06 AM
#1 - Hilarious!
Anne - December 12th, 2011 at 4:46 PM
You know that quote by C.S. Lewis...., "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
Well, because of that quote you and I are now friends! I have the same issues with Top 40 music (I have actually defended Britney Spears in my lifetime....lord help me.) Same issues with noise and I can't get enough humor! It helps me find the joy in everyday and truth be told, you are often a good dose of it!

As for other quirks, I only have a few minutes and too many thousands of quirks to be thorough so I'll hit a couple of quick quirks. First of all, I think video games are ok in large doses. I think they are educational and don't hover over my kids playing them. They are learning problem solving and hand-eye coordination...both excellent skills for life. Another quirk is that although my 16 year old daughter lives in FEAR of me taking her cell phone away even for one hour, I would never actually do it. Because *gasp* how on earth would I be able to get ahold of her when I need her to stop by the store and get milk? Another I have to share is that I can and will quote movies all the live long day. I've had entire conversations in movie quotes and while I know that this screams that I watch way too much TV, I can't help it! I can remember movie lines like I was being tested on it, but couldn't tell you what I had for dinner last night. Ginko Biloba anyone?

But my favorite quirk (that I have time for) is that I 'friend' people on facebook that I've never actually met (Like Jen Hatmaker) and then forever more will talk about their posts by saying things like, "My friend, Jen, said..... " And people actually will believe we are friends. I know it's some sort of sick, alternative reality but it's just so much easier than saying ALL THE TIME..."I'm friends on facebook with this wonderful Christian blogger who is really funny and in her most recent post she said....." So to the outside world, you and I have coffee and you share antecdotes regularly. Sadly, you are not the only one I do this to. How's that for quirky?

Dishes are done, man!
Donna - December 13th, 2011 at 7:05 AM
Me too on the "my friend, Jen" - like she'd know me in the store! :)
Natalie Witcher - December 12th, 2011 at 4:56 PM
1. Girl, white noise is OF THE DEVIL. That faint sound of t's and s's on the radio in the car..... TURN IT UP OR TURN IT OFF!, I always yell, er, say. I maybe could have violins, but not really. When no one is in the house... dead quite is ok with me. My cousin informed that the inability to handle white noise is really just a form of ADD. I'll take that. And it makes sense.

2. I'm am way too easily entertained. I still laugh every time that guy comes out from under the rock on the Geico commercial. Or when people fall down. Just set me in front of Wipeout with food and I'm golden for days.

3. I like my numbers even: stereo, wedding day, children (except 3 out of the 4 came on odd days. Still hate them for that.)

4. I pick my lip and it intensifies when I'm in deep though, turmoil, sitting at the red light, watching a movie, sitting in church, making dinner....wait.

5. I'm a loud laugher. You could pick me out at the theatre (or church) (or the fair). Not only do I gawfaw, I seem to be the only one laughing at the brilliant humor. (see point 2)
michelle - December 12th, 2011 at 5:01 PM
Can I say I have the same weird "hate saying goodbye" issues. I don't like "a big scene." Even if the big scene is just saying good night at someone's door. Ick.

And I also have weirdo issues about bedtimes and hours slept for my kids... who are 12
Megan W. - December 12th, 2011 at 5:01 PM
Here's my quirky confession. I sleep late. Like all the time. I am not a teenager. I am a 30 something Mom. I take my kids to school, come home, and climb right back into bed. I used to feel ashamed about it but now it is just a matter of survival. I am a chronic night owl and I also work late on the weekends. Because of this my sleep schedule is just way out of wack. I am not one of those people who can get by with 5 hours of sleep. I do not handle sleep deprivation well...at all (just ask my husband). I get terribly emotional and out of sorts if I have to go several days without getting my 8 hours. I wish I was better composed but I'm just not. So at 11am when all you other Mom's are leaving the gym, unloading groceries or taking a break from all the things you've already accomplished that morning, I am generally taking my first sip of coffee. I'm not proud of it, but it seems to be the way I am coping these days. So there it is. :)
Margo - December 12th, 2011 at 6:13 PM
Oh my word. You might be my twin. Sleeping is the BEST!
jolynn - December 12th, 2011 at 11:54 PM
I am so there with you. but it is more like 12 hours LOL.
Juanita - December 13th, 2011 at 8:21 AM
I have been a "closet sleeper" for long LONG time. Typically go back to bed and don't roll out till between 11 and 12. If I don't set an alarm, I'm sometimes still in bed at 12:30!! Some people say "shame, shame" and I just say, "try it, you'll love it!"
Sarah - December 12th, 2011 at 5:17 PM
Gah! Can we be forever friends? I'm a textbook #3. The first 2 yrs of our marriage we had to have a window unit in our bedroom. I don't know how my hubby didn't divorce me. Or shoot me. The "cute" snores of my sweet babies have me contemplating building a doghouse in the backyard and insulating it w/ hay for sanity's sake.
Catherine - December 12th, 2011 at 5:25 PM
Agreed with the white noise.. cannot handle it. I too enter rooms like a crazy lady turning everything in sight off... my quirky thing?

I HAVE to eat candy in pairs... especially M
Allie - December 12th, 2011 at 5:42 PM
I am so with you on the noise levels, and I have five kids too! Go figure. God apparently has a sense of humor:)
Lesley - December 12th, 2011 at 6:11 PM
1. Yes to the noise issues! My complaints lie more with my husband, father and brothers than with my 4-year old, 2-year old and 6-month old and are based mostly on sports fan background racket on television...the constant cheering in the background just nearly does me in. I drive them absolutely nuts by frequently muting the TV during even the most important games. (It just doesn't feel right to them to watch the Red River Shootout in absolute silence...but it doesn't feel right to me to go INSANE from noise on a Saturday).
2. I am your complete opposite in the "good-byes" department. Whether you're leaving for work for the day or on an overseas mission trip, I treat it like the last time I'll ever see you. "I love you so much. Be careful! Have a good day. I'll miss you! Goodbye! You're the best husband in the world. I've enjoyed being your wife so much. I love you. Goodbye! Farewell and godspeed!' My kids have picked up on this, too, and so when their Papa leaves for work, they have an entire routine of things they must tell him, ending with "Watch out for spiders, scorpions and bad guys!" We are such a morbid family.
3. I think every stranger that walks into our church is a gunman, and I peek at them during the prayer to make sure they are not reaching for a weapon. (I don't know what God was thinking when he made me a pastor's wife). I'm working on this sin...er, quirk.
4. I've been known to keep powdered donuts in my robe pocket.

Margo - December 12th, 2011 at 6:16 PM
I have a quirk. Just one. (That's possibly a lie.) My husband and family would probably explain it more as me just being a freak. Whatever. Are you ready for it? Ok, here it is. When seated, I have to have someone or something on my left side. At all times. Always. I've been known to push my way to the front of our party when being seated at a restaurant to ensure getting my preferred seat. My biggest fear when flying is that we won't get A boarding and I'll be forced to sit on the right side of the plane. If there isn't a wall or partition that I can have directly on my left, then I use my husband. If the kids end up in the big sanctuary with us on Sunday morning and try to sit between me and the hubs, I will crawl over a pew to get to where I need to be. This is normal. Right?
e - December 12th, 2011 at 6:44 PM
Quirks? Where to begin...

My sense of smell has been hijacked since pregnancy. I canNOT handle the smell of greasy hair, unwashed bodies, dirty laundry or stinky food. People-breath is disgusting too.
Clothes that feel awful....pilly shirts, scratchy material, anything that looks as bad as it feels.
Being scared...do not scare the sh#t out of me or you will never be my friend again. Intentional scaring is just mean and makes me want to beat you.
Having to go to the bathroom....really, I hate waking up just to pee. And really, can we just empty once a day? An awful lot of time is wasted in the bathroom. I'd prefer to use my bathroom credits elsewhere.
Feet. Ugly and meant to be covered. Please do the world a favor and keep yours either looking decent or covered in clean socks and non-stinky shoes.

Thanks for your blog...it's a winner.
We wish you much joy this Christmas season!

Shae - December 13th, 2011 at 6:55 AM
Oh my Gah! I too hate having to go to the bathroom! It's such a waste of time.

I also do not like being scared. At all. I can't even watch previews for scary movies on TV because it gives me nightmares. Seriously.
Natalie - December 13th, 2011 at 11:00 AM
are we sisters?
Aimee - December 12th, 2011 at 6:45 PM
#3! Oh my. Our third child will arrive in February. I will have to fit a (barely) 5 yr old son, 2.5 yr old daughter, and newborn in the back of a - Ford Taurus! I can already feel my sanity leaving. The sitting-in-the-grass scene is in my near future, for sure. It's almost too much to handle now. Say a prayer. :)
Nona - December 12th, 2011 at 6:56 PM
Jen- during your recent visit to my refrigerator for coffee creamer (during your short but endearing and sleepless stay at my house)-you may have noticed that there is "no room in the Inn" in our slam packed refrigerator. My family suffers from a chronic "condiment disorder"!! We have so many dressings, sauces and gallon jars of miracle whip on hand we can't store actual food. We have found the disorder to be hereditary. On a recent visit to my son's college apartment fridge, I found an enormous hoarding of Taco Bell hot sauce packets. As most close friends and family know, we are unapologetic about this obsession.

christy - December 12th, 2011 at 7:02 PM
The carpool line at my kids' school makes me want to GO POSTAL!!!! There is a reason we get there 15 minutes before school lets out so that we can have a place in the line. When parents come to the school 1 minute before it gets out and stop over the crosswalk it makes me want to get out and SCREAM at the them!!!! FOLLOW THE RULES PEOPLE!!!!
Whew, I feel much better now... until tomorrow's carpool line! :)
Sarah - December 12th, 2011 at 7:29 PM
I get scared really easily. Like, when my husband just walks in the room. Even if he's just coming out of the bathroom that I saw him walk into 45 seconds earlier. Super frightening. Because he is almost Jesus he did not divorce me when he discovered this tendency early in our marriage but instead came up with a special whistle to announce his comings in a less terrifying manner.
mollie - December 12th, 2011 at 8:52 PM
yep. me too. god forbid you come up behind me when i'm using a hair dryer...
Nina - December 18th, 2011 at 11:39 PM
Or changing (because he's never seen me naked) lol!
Mykkisu - December 14th, 2011 at 12:06 PM
Thank you, Sarah for saying this! I used to have a boss whose office was behind me. He would say, (in his normal, but deep voice) "Mykkisu," and I would come 2 inches off of my chair.
shelbychj - January 4th, 2012 at 7:12 PM
I still SCREAM whenever my husband "sneaks" up on me. We have been married for 11 years. But I have told myself it is his fault for being so quiet, not my issue!!
Tom - December 12th, 2011 at 7:31 PM
I eat chocolate chips. Plain. By the handfuls when I'm stressed (insert comment about why I'm not at my ideal weight).
Crissy Sorenson - December 12th, 2011 at 7:32 PM
Ever since my 2nd pregnancy, I LOVE to sniff wet washclothes. Especially ones that have sat on the counter overnight. I crave to smell wet, ALMOST musty wet things. When I watch rain/water/floods, I sit and imagine what something that gets wet would smell like. The other day I almost pulled over with all 4 kids in the car to sniff a sofa that someone had left on the side of the road because it had rained that morning. Till I thought of what kind of people might have owned it....I didn't want to sniff their funk, just the wet cloth.
Oh, and have you watched Gilmore Girls? If not, I think you'd love it! It's our FAVORITE show!
Erica LaHouse - December 12th, 2011 at 7:42 PM
I've self diagnosed myself with mild OCD and I say mild because I don't wash my hands twenty times or flip the light switch on and off 5 times and spin around twice before I leave a room. I'm just sort of (and by sort of my housemates/friends/family would say DEFINITELY) a neat freak. Living with four of my friends who are normal college kids has helped me become less controlling and not so freakishly uptight about organization, but certain things still throw me off my rocker.
Certain thing number 1: Not loading the dishwasher the "right" way aka my way. I for the life of me cannot understand why anyone would ever put dirty dishes in the dishwasher starting from the front. That makes absolutely no sense because later you will have to stretch over the dirty dishes you put in the front and place your other dishes in the back. It's so much more orderly and convenient if you load back to front. Total common sense... to a freak like me anyways!
2: Another pet peeve of mine is when people don't wipe down the counters. So many things touch the counter and that's really germy. I am by no means a germaphobe, I don't wash my fruit or veggies, but counters need to be clean at all times. And I feel like a lot of people don't have clean countertops because they're too lazy! If you spill pasta sauce don't leave it there!! It takes maybe 20 seconds to grab a Clorox wipe.
3. Clutter. I. DESPISE. clutter. I'm super against being a pack rat. I understand that some things are important but there can't be that many valuable possessions. I hate keeping anything that I don't need. I have a tendency of throwing almost everything away. Sometimes I over do it but overall I'm glad I'm this way!!

Like you Jen I have a million other bizzare quirks but I can't put them all
Donna - December 13th, 2011 at 9:10 AM
I too am a dishwasher nazi. I go behind and reload, to get more in.

Tanya - December 13th, 2011 at 11:18 PM
I agree about the dishwasher
Jill - December 12th, 2011 at 7:56 PM
I just came across your blog when someone recommended the Christmas Conundrum article...and I LOVED IT. You expressed everything that's been going on in my heart!

Ok, for quirky- I'm SO with you on the kid's temperature thing. I bring a thermometer with me every time we travel...just in case they're feeling too warm. Weather under 70 means my kids wear a hat- and they, 4 and 2, know it :)
Replace your sleep issue with hunger and that's me... making sure they're never hungry. And when I feel the slightest hunger pain in MY stomach, I immediately offer them a snack, assuming they must be hungry, too.
Lastly, I am always subconsciously on the lookout for prepositional phrases and am quick to confirm that the sentence could stand alone without the prepositions. Not sure where this came from. Grammar was even my least favorite class!

Thanks for sharing your heart!!
Molly - December 12th, 2011 at 7:59 PM
If you are a Melissa McCarthy fan you MUST watch Gilmore Girls! She's phenomenal in that.
katie m. - December 12th, 2011 at 8:00 PM
I'm so glad you didn't say that one of your quirks was being FREAK-y and obsessively clean. That's like bragging that your jeans are too big or your skin is too smooth.

I totally hear you on your good-bye issues. I, too, would much prefer to sneak out the door completely unnoticed rather than make a good-bye scene. Even if it's like 4 people. And I know them all really well. Or they are related to me.
Ashley - December 12th, 2011 at 8:16 PM
I decided that I want to play.
1. I always, always put my glass of water back down exactly on the little ring it left on the table.
2. The sound of fingernails scratching across certain fabrics makes me gag. Literally. Like I could vomit right now thinking about it.
3. I only like even numbers. Sorry, God, about that whole 7 being the number of perfection.
4. I only like black pens.
5. The sound of people, especially my husband and kids, eating chips or any other crunchy thing will send me over the edge.
6. I play with my hair, and have been known to twirl it at really inappropriate times. Sends the WRONG message. Oops.
7. I talk to myself constantly and I laugh at my own jokes. I'm pretty funny, or so I have told myself.

Ashley - December 13th, 2011 at 12:19 PM
Cannot believe I forgot the worst one. I LOVE cleaning the earwax out of my kids ears. My ears just aren't that waxy, so something about pulling a big glob out of their ears is very gratifying.
Ashley - January 5th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Oh my gosh, I totally do that to my daughter! I thought I was weird but it IS totally gratifying to pull out that glob of ear wax!
Amber - January 31st, 2012 at 8:10 PM
I LOVE cleaning their earwax too! So glad someone else is out there who does. And trimming their toe nails. Love it.
Kelly Jo - December 14th, 2011 at 9:50 PM
Me too! I'm so funny I can't ever get a punchline out clearly because I laugh through it. I think I'm hilarious and crack myself up all the time!
Ginger - January 13th, 2012 at 10:51 AM
Ashley, I am soooo with you on the chips and crunchy things. If my husband and I are eating anything crunchy at mealtime, he knows now to go turn on the TV, radio, or something to cover up his crunching! Of course, I realize that I crunch, too, but for some reason that's ok!
Brooke - December 12th, 2011 at 8:17 PM
I cannot STAND food words. Those adjectives that describe your precious food immediately make me want to stop eating and loose it. The Food Network scares me. The only thing worse than food words is when people make noises while they eat. Why??! We all know the chocolate cake is good, but calling it delectable, scrumptious, yummy or any other word like that is SO not necessary ahhh!
Crystal - December 12th, 2011 at 8:22 PM
Oh man oh man, were we separated at birth?! This freaked me out because I thought I was the only one with the temperature and sleep obsessions. My kids know that bedtime is absolutely non-negotiable. Yep, even my 7 year old still goes to be by 8pm, at the latest. And the noise thing....YES. When my kids go with the dad on some weekends, I will turn off ALL noise and just relish in the silence.

From one Austinite to another, you rock my friend!
Anita - December 12th, 2011 at 8:30 PM
OCD is not a DISorder. But I am obsessive about my compulsions and compulsive about my obsessions.
The toilet paper must unroll from the top.
There is one and only one way to load the dishwasher and I, apparently, am the sole human possessor of this highly specialized skill.
I love to dig out splinters.
I hate having my fingernails painted, but I must have my toenails painted.
I am a monogamous purse carrier. I use one purse until it's dead and then move on to a new one. I can't switch back and forth between several (or even two) purses.
Heather - December 12th, 2011 at 11:15 PM
We are just alike! Except for the splinter thing. A dishwasher loaded incorrectly drives me crazy! I inherited that from my mom....
Erica - December 13th, 2011 at 8:46 AM
Did you see my post!!? It's a few above yours. How do you load the dishwasher!!? Back to front?
RFS - December 12th, 2011 at 8:34 PM
I like to get my own groceries out of the cart and load them on the conveyor belt. It makes me crazy when people (my kids or HEB workers) try to "help" me because I'm putting stuff on there in the way I hope it will be bagged (boxes together, frozen together, fridge stuff together). I would bag it myself if I could get down there in time, but I usually can't. Which leads to the next quirk - frustration at the bagger's inability to read my mind and bag my groceries the way I like them. And as an aside, if I bring 10 green bags in, there is no need to fill only 3 of them and make them weigh 600 pounds each.

I also proofread my own texts and emails several times before sending them, then I often read them again after I send them. If I find a spelling or grammatical error, it will make me crazy, and I usually have to apologize for it or correct it. And there's a chance (a big one) that I sort of judge people who routinely fail to proofread such items. Just because it's fast doesn't mean it needs to be incorrect. That isn't cute.

I love numbers, especially even ones. I love figuring out how I could make a math problem out of the time (8:35, so 8-3=5. That's an easy one, sometimes it's more complex). I love that my kids' birthdates work out in nice math problems. I love watching the time change from one hour to the next, especially 11:59 to 12:00 because the am/pm changes, too. Strangely my son has this same habit, even though I keep it under wraps and have never told him I do that.

That's enough crazy, but there's plenty more where that came from.
Jennifer - December 13th, 2011 at 8:32 AM
Oh my goodness, I NEVER thought that anyone else does this with math problems. I turn everything into math problems- addresses, phone numbers, time, etc. And don't get me started on my obsession with locating and pointing out prime numbers to random people. Additionally, I do math problems, proofs, formulas, and identify patterns when I am falling asleep. I've been known to contact my math team coach from High School (who is now retired given it was was 15 years ago) to have him confirm some formula or pattern I identified while laying in bed at 2AM. This would be potentially helpful if I worked in any field that related to math... but given that I'm an editor it's a little ironic and totally impractical. Want to know the worst part? I'm sort of prideful about it. I think that the world would be a better place if everyone else saw things through the lens of math. Yeah, typing that in the light of day helps me to see that I might be a tiny bit crazy. (typing "tiny bit" immediately made me think of a specific percentage that I am crazy. Oh gracious.)
RFS - December 13th, 2011 at 5:19 PM
Do you want to know something crazy? I'm a lawyer on hiatus as a stay-at-home mom (8 years and counting), but my secret dream career is to be an editor. I love, love, love editing, and I don't read many books because I edit them the whole time I'm reading. So I'm kind of hoping that sharing a crazy math quirk with a *real* editor means I can be one, too, someday. :)
Jennifer - December 13th, 2011 at 9:37 PM
This is getting odder by the minute. I'm starting to wonder if I have multiple personalities and am really just posting to myself. The only thing grounding me in reality is that I cannot be a stay at home mom because I do not have a child. I was, however, all set and admitted into law school prior to God derailing me to seminary and then publishing. So perhaps math law=editor? or lawyer editor=math? (I'm resisting the urge to continue capturing this scenario in various math terms because I actually just looked to see if I could upload an image so that I could diagram this with some sort of triangle that can be proven) So, the moral is that once I get carted off to the nuthouse you can apply for my job and fulfill your secret dream career!
Jennifer - December 13th, 2011 at 9:59 PM
For the record- the previous post did not post the math symbols I typed so that the development of the professional progressions made sense.

(ps, Jen Hatmaker, please do not run as fast as you can to another publisher on the basis of how insane your editor is that she is actually not only posting such confessions, but cannot live without correcting a math equation misrepresented)
RFS - December 14th, 2011 at 8:08 AM
Just FYI, in the parallel universe you have 4 kids, so this version of you could be carted off to the nuthouse, too. :) And I thought you must be Jen's editor - I'm super jealous that you have a math team coach at your beck and call AND get to see Jen's stuff first!
Bethany - December 13th, 2011 at 5:25 PM
I totally do the number/math thing ALL the time. At first I blamed on being an only child who ended up in the sciences but now I know I'm not alone. Phewf
Laura - December 12th, 2011 at 8:35 PM
The sight/sound of fingernails scratching denim is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. My husband cannot scratch an itch on his leg if he is wearing jeans. CANNOT. I will freak out. I've given him the helpful alternative of slapping the itch repeatedly with the palm of his hand, but he somehow does not find that to be the same.

I have a deep fear of skin rashes. Or anything that resembles a rash. For instance: polka dot fabric. *shudder*

I'm also completely freaked out by "The Christmas Song". Blogged about it last week. Basically, the tiny tots with their eyes all aglow gives me a mental image of horror movie children, staring at me with glowing eyes.

I am such a freak.

Monica Dominguez McFarlin - December 12th, 2011 at 8:41 PM
1) I'm 35 years old and I still giggle any time one of the teachers at work says they have "duty". Doodie. I'm laughing as I type. 2) The sound of someone chewing ice sends me through the roof. Don't get me started on people who swallow loudly. I once knocked a glass of juice out of my husband's hand. I'm a little sound sensitive. 3) I'm obsessed with proper grammar. I correct everyone- including complete strangers. It's not popular. I feel it's my duty (doodie...giggle). 4) I can't remember Bible verses to save my life but I can quote every line from Caddyshack, So I Married an Axe Murderer, and Steel Magnolias. God help me.
Laura - December 12th, 2011 at 8:42 PM
I can't even believe I might say this out loud, its so morbid. sheesh. im just blushing at thinking how totally STUPID this is...I get totally freaked going into public restrooms..convinced Im gonna find someone dead on the toilet. true story. Like will even look to make sure feet are moving under the stall...won't peek in the cracks though, cause what if?? what if they are?? aye aye aye....I s'pose its not entirely uncalled for, since it did happen once. for reals. guess i'm scarred for life...
Pauly - December 12th, 2011 at 8:49 PM
Toenails, seriously? Please tell me you don't really have those toenails in your house. On your back porch is ok, but not INSIDE the house. The clipping of toenails is NOT allowed in my home, ever, for any reason. Be it oppressively hot or danger of frost bite cold outside, that is where you will clip your nails.
Tammy - December 12th, 2011 at 8:54 PM
1. I despise the word breath. It makes me cringe to even write it.
2. Dirty or long fingernails disgust me.
3. I must have something to drink when I drive. It must be in the first cupholder, preferrably in a plastic cup. I have a certain number of ice cubes, usually seven and rinsed twice if I am having water.
4. I have an insane fear of throwing up and food poisoning. I think about it on the daily.
Thank you Jen for sharing!
Kristi - December 12th, 2011 at 9:00 PM
I am with you on the noise. We once were on vacation and in a rental car (smalllllll) instead of our normal minivan. And I thought I would not survive my three children all NEXT TO EACH OTHER in the small back seat RIGHT IN MY EAR. I considered putting them in the trunk...or on the roof. REALLY MUST HAVE MINIVAN, SUV or ANYTHING with more seperation than a car when driving with the entire family.

Oh, and my (most annoying to my husband) quirk is that I NEED...MUST HAVE, no really NEED, cannot go to sleep without the WEIGHT of a HEAVY comforter on me. Even in the summer. I may kick it off once I am asleep and breaking into a sweat...but I cannot go to sleep without it. I have rejected new comforters for our bedroom purely based on the weight of them. When we go to hotels I have to get extra blankets to pile on if the comforter is not weighy enough. My husband folds his half over on me most of the time...because he wants nothing to do with my cozy comforter:)

Randi - December 12th, 2011 at 9:02 PM
Oh. My. I am so glad I am not the only sleep nazi! I feel like I could have written that section. Thank the Lord I got good sleepers, too. (Though I really like to credit my hard work and routine in their first weeks of life!)

I hate smacking. Gum, food, everything. I have had many time-outs (similar to your I-35 incident) where I have to just go cry out my anger and irritation, and I'm not even a crier! There is nothing that can send me over the edge quicker than that. I willingly turn down dinner invitations and lunch dates just to avoid being in the presence of smackers at a meal time. I'm not proud of this at all.
Laura - December 12th, 2011 at 9:04 PM
I leave cupboard doors open ALL the stinking time and I drive myself nuts. Why can't I just close them after I use it? My kitchen will have 5 cupboards open for no apparent reason other than I just didn't close it. Then I go through and close them all
April - December 12th, 2011 at 9:08 PM
I have to brush my teeth every time I get up to go to the bathroom at night. And if I take an afternoon nap, I also have to brush my teeth then. I also have to apply lip balm (Soft Lips) before I sleep. I reapply after those bathroom/toothbrushing trips!

I also pick up things with my feet. I never knew this was controversial until my sister told me it freaks her husband out when she does it. (But maybe she and I are the normal ones, and he's the quirky one here!)
Tanya - December 12th, 2011 at 9:10 PM
I have to spell words to myself. Same word over and over. This could go on all day. God help me if it is a word you don't hear much! I count...everything! Oh look, there are 3 people in that line...I folded 5 towels...the problem is that I have an aversion to odd numbers. They just throw me off. I can't have an uneven number of anything. I have been known to break a cookie in half just so that there is an even number of pieces to eat. Lastly (for this comment anyway) I believe there is a song to sing for every instance that comes up in life. You have heard of the 6 degrees of separation scenario? This totally applies to music. It drives those around me nuts. I can't help it. I spell. I count. I sing.
kristin - December 12th, 2011 at 9:10 PM
I think fans in bathrooms should be banned. I have a door to just my toilet portion of my master bathroom. The problem is that there isn't a separate switch for the light or exhaust fan. It's all or nothing. I sit in pitch black darkness. Can't take the noise.
Sue - December 13th, 2011 at 11:04 AM
Me too! I hate the sound of that fan. Besides, the dark is comforting.
Beth - December 12th, 2011 at 9:16 PM
Here's mine...

1) The sound of chewing. Especially ice. Especially my husband chewing ice. I could punch him!
2) The word panties MAJORLY It grosses me out
3) I cannot be late. I'd rather be 30 mins early then 5 mins late. I will leave my husband, who I think likes being late, and go wherever by myself.
Beth - January 20th, 2012 at 4:54 PM
I am so late to this game, but OMG. My name is Beth. I CANNOT stand the sound of crunching ice. Actually, no crunchy food, no smacking, no...any food-related noise. I would rather use the word underwear any day of the week. And, of course, I CANNOT be late. Seriously. I do the same exact thing. I already have a twin, but, wow...
Marcy - December 12th, 2011 at 9:17 PM
I love Raisin Bran but hate raisins, so I pick them all out. Why not buy Bran Flakes you may ask? Because I like the FLAVOR of the raisins! So let's just say that when they came out with "TWO SCOOPS" so very long ago and everyone was so excited, I was devastated b/c it meant I'd have to do way more picking before I could take a bite..... :/
missy @ it's almost naptime - December 12th, 2011 at 9:18 PM
I still wish you would just get some therapy.

You know how people who are afraid to fly are forced to, like, fly? I dream of tying you up in front of a computer and playing Jamie Kennedy videos all day long.

I just want to help you be a better Jen.
adam - December 12th, 2011 at 9:21 PM
No Men have any quirks?

I will only drink Coca Cola out of a can. That is my only vice. My food cannot touch each other (I would prefer the plastic child's plate that keeps all the food separate). I often have to eat my dinner in shifts for fear of it touching another food item. I HATE HATE HATE when people talk in the car after I have just turned the radio up to enjoy a good song (my wife is the worst offender). If I don't respond to your random comments, its not that I'm not listening---I've decided that a response would be a waste of my words (not only would you be wasting my words, but you've now wasted my brain capacity in processing your stupidity). I will wear black shiny dress shoes with anything--even running pants with white stripes down the sides. AND I WILL NEVER go barefoot unless I'm in the bath, bed, or pool.
Shae - December 13th, 2011 at 7:14 AM
YES!!! I need a food separater plate too!
jenny - December 12th, 2011 at 9:22 PM
1. I say "ops" vs oops. It drives me crazy but i do it.
2. I get lost. I drive the same places every day but i get lost on my way there, and it drives people crazy. Yesterday i went to unlock a closet at church. Been to the closet multiple times, yet i wandered around like a mad woman looking for it.
3. I can remember a person's life story but their name? Im terrible at it and feel terrible for forgetting it.
4. I walk crooked. Seriously. All the time.
5. I have an obsession with tacos and mexican hot chips. All i eat. You know, the ones you can only get at the Bodegas. Yeah...
6. Lifetime movies. I cry. Like a baby. I don't cry when im sad, but i cry watching a lifetime movie.
Paige Betterton - December 12th, 2011 at 9:24 PM
I HATE (its such a strong word. maybe I should use loath but I'm not sure I spelled it right and like HATE better. :) ) I am an adoptive mom of two girls from China (ages 3 and 7). I absolutely ticks me off when people stare at them in public. I want to scream at them and say "Yes they are Chinese. Have you seen Chinese people before? No...I'm not married to a chinese man (get that alot!) And yes I know our 3 year old is missing an ear. We knew that when chose her. But that makes her brain like super smart and she's WAAAAAYYYYY smarter than your kid. he he!
Deanne - December 12th, 2011 at 9:25 PM
why did you have to make me think of all these things......now I really feel like a weirdo.
I count to eight before I do anything....have to be from car to porch by eight, to top of stairs by eight, from top of stairs into bed by eight. I think I did this as a little girl. Like the monster wouldn't get me if I got there by eight.
I can't touch brillo pads. Just the thought of touching them makes me want to barf.
I have to wear socks to bed. even in the middle of summer. I even wore socks while giving birth every single time.
I have actually tried to flail my arms behind me to smack one of my children while driving.....so not proud of those moments.
I cannot sleep unless I have my pillow. I literally take it everywhere with me. It has even been on three trips to Africa with me......and oh no, it doesn't go with the luggage......I carry it on with me......even though it weighs at least ten pounds.

I shudder to think that there are more......many, many more
Amber - December 13th, 2011 at 8:25 AM
Oh my gosh!!!!! I count to eight too!!! I will take an extra little baby step to make my final step #8!!! I blame dance....
Paige Betterton - December 12th, 2011 at 9:26 PM
P.S. I also HATE it when my husband leaves newspapers on the table. I will go postal in a heartbeat if it stays there longer than 5 mins after he's read it. I'm kind of stalkerish that way. :) This has made me miss blogging on my blog!
Kristi - December 12th, 2011 at 9:27 PM
Oh, so funny! I am crying tears of laughter. OK, I'm in:

1. One part of my body must be twitching at all times. I am usually completely unaware of it until my daughter yells, "Mom! Stop twitching your feet!" or "Mom! Stop tapping your fingers!" Quite possibly it is my personal manifestation of ADHD and I should seek treatment, but I consider it a revolutionary new calorie burning therapy.

2. I burst into song at random times, as if I'm living in a Rogers and Hammerstein musical. It may be a "real" song - "Good morning, George, how are you?" (from Vegie Tales) or one I completely made up - "I'm the bested mom you ever had and you'd better wake up or I'll be sad."

3. I talk to the cars on the road around me. "Seriously, Blue Caravan, get out of the left lane!" and "Are your turn signals broken, Red Honda, or are you just lazy?"

4. I refer to people I don't even know but whose blogs I follow as my friend. As in, "My friend, Jen Hatmaker, obsesses about bedtime, too." (Only I don't obsess about my kids' bedtime, I obsess about my own. I have to wake up in 7.5 hours. I need to go to sleep NOW!
This is so fun I can't stop! - December 12th, 2011 at 9:27 PM
I can hear any word and burst out into an old song lyric containing it. Sounds cute, right? Perhaps it could be if I had any control over it. I have been told I suffer from "musical tourettes."
Monica D M - December 13th, 2011 at 5:23 PM
I do the same thing! I have a catalog of music in my head that would beat any person's playlist.
Hidi - December 12th, 2011 at 9:38 PM
When someone laying next to me ( right now w my sick kid) sucking s'not up their nose......GO BLOW TOUR FREAKING NOSE.... my kid: but nothing will come out.
For the love: I might pull my eyelashes out!!!
leah - December 12th, 2011 at 11:41 PM
My oldest has cronic blockage of his sinuses, after several surgeries and homeopathic treatments he still sounds like Darth Vader all of the time. I feel horrible about it but the sound makes me want to spazz out!

Marcia - December 12th, 2011 at 9:39 PM
I must be boring, because some of these quirks I could never have even imagined. Seriously, people? Ha! Anyway, a weirdo quirk of mine is that I feel contrary to everyone's loopy-ness over Anthropologie. If it comes from there, I'm determined not to gush over it. A pretty Anthropologie picture on Pinterest will never be repinned by me! I also get annoyed when people are proud of how weird they are. Yeah, you're weird and that makes you super-special...just like everyone else. haha. Now it sounds like I'm insulting your whole post and everyone's comments. I'm not, truly. O well, I think you can handle it! Love reading your writing and being your friend on FB (along with "everyone" else!). Merry Blessings to you and yours.
sarah j. - December 12th, 2011 at 9:42 PM
I can always, ALWAYS tell if someone has been sitting at my desk. They didn't even have to touch anything. If they sat in the chair, my senses are on high alert. Who sat here??
If there is no lotion beside my bed, I will wake up and be unable to breathe because my HANDS ARE DRY AND NEED TO BE MOISTURIZED.
I like things to be even numbers, but I cannot use an even amount of exclamation points. 1, 3, 5, never ever 2 or 4. Sometimes 3 seems overboard, but 1 doesn't quite convey enough excitement, so I try to go with 2. But I can't make myself do it.
I HAVE to use the 3rd stall in a public restroom. If there are only 2, I use the 1st stall, because I still count- 1, 2, and go back to the first one for 3.
It makes me nervous if someone else is in the same aisle as me in a small grocery store. I will move to another aisle and come back to that one later.
I watch landing planes carefully in case they explode on impact. I want to have seen it happen if it does.
Oh dear... I could continue this list for days. I'll have to come back later and post thr rest under a different name, so I don't look so crazy.
Jodie - December 12th, 2011 at 9:42 PM
1. I can't sleep with the closet door open, my husband prefers it open and he has logical reasons for wanting it open. I have nothing logical to contribute to wanting it closed, but if he values his life he will shut the flipping door!
2. Do NOT touch me with your feet. I'm really not a fan of you touching each other with your feet or even touching your own feet, but if you put your feet on me, be prepared to pull back a nub or see my outline in the wall of the room from which I just fled.
3. I won't buy polka dot underwear, again no logic here, it just doesn't seem right at my age. My teen daughter has assured me they are not Braille and I should just get over myself, but no dots here.
4. I am the schedule Nazi. For the love all things holy and pure, once I have the calendar set, please do not alter anything. My kids won't even ask me if they can do anything anymore if their friends have not answered all the questions they know I will ask. People who forget to bring projects to school or tell me about events in advance get responses like “sucks to be you." This quirk was born out of necessity, but I fear it's gone too far.
5. I'm okay with the white noises like fans or having a TV on in the background, but the repetitive noises like drumming fingers, clicking teeth or fingernails or a pen set me over the edge. How I have not stabbed my husband in the eye with one of his clicking pens or crinkling water bottles in nearly 20 years, I'll never know.

Quirky Jen Too - December 12th, 2011 at 9:43 PM
Every time I walk into a public restroom I say to myself something I once read; "Statistically speaking the first stall is the cleanest" as I walk to the first stall. If it is not available, I have to leave and find anther restroom.

I group my M
Quirky Jen Too Two - December 12th, 2011 at 10:06 PM
Sorry I guess I somehow sent only part... There's much more crazy in my head

I group my M
Candice - December 13th, 2011 at 7:32 AM
Me too, except now I think that everyone has ready that article and so everyone is using the first stall and now I have to take my best guess at which stall is the least appealing to the biggest amoung of people.
Casey - December 12th, 2011 at 9:43 PM
1)I am so with you on the noise. I CANNOT stand noise. No more than two things at a time. A sneeze and the radio. Voices and the TV...if you add a third I will flip out on you. And it woon't be pretty. I have 6 people in my house which pretty much means it is always noisy!

2)People who eat loudly. I have nearly left my family and eaten in my closet..where it is void of CHOIMPING jaws, ice crunching. I have never been able to hear the noise of meals which is terrible with 4 kids. Sadly it isn't the kids that are the loud eaters...it is the husband.

3)I cannot, under any circumstances, deal with sheets that crooked on the bed. And oh my word if the they are pulled up farther than the blanket and I have 9 inches of sheet and only 6 inches of blanket. I can't stand it. I won't even discuss pillows
Lynn - December 12th, 2011 at 9:45 PM
Oh, this is fun!
The word "moist" makes my skin crawl... When people slurp coffee or smack their gum, I want to smack them (not really. yes, really)... The saying is "I COULDN'T care less" not "I could care less" because if you say that, you actually care... I have to take a glass of ice water to bed with me every night. I rarely drink any but it must be there or I can't sleep... I like addresses to be in even numbers - preferably 2 digits but 4 is acceptable.... When I go on roadtrips, I set goals for each hour I am on the road (must cover 75 miles this hour, etc). I am very disappointed if I do not achieve my goals... I am fascinated with serial killers (don't approve of them obviously but intrigued with their twisted minds). OK, must stop now. :)
Heather McAnear - December 12th, 2011 at 9:47 PM
Ok, friend... I'll play, too! ;o)
- I cannot STAND to put anything wooden in my mouth. It's the weirdest thing, but I can't eat popsicles or anything on a stick (corn dogs, cake pops, you name it) and even get weirded out watching my kids (or anyone) eat something off of a stick.
- I must put my groceries on the conveyer belt exactly how I want them bagged (with all the similar items together). And I also put them away in that order... cold stuff at once, pantry stuff together, etc.
- If I learned to spell a word a certain way as a child, I say it that way in my head each time I type (or read) it. Example: cer tain (instead of saying "cer tin" in my head) ;o)
- I have a love for parenthesis and quotations and elipses...
- I love to use a :) on almost every text. I just want to make sure that my non-verbal communication is clear that I am, in fact, happy. :) (SEE! That was accidental!) :)

Thanks for the mini-session, Dr. Hatmaker!
Monicamo - December 13th, 2011 at 8:08 AM
Oh thank you for the Popsicle stick confession! After reading down all this way, I was wondering if there's seriously something wrong with me, since NO one had mentioned it. I will literally throw away half of a Popsicle or ice cream bar to avoid that wooden stick touching my tongue. And those little wooden "spoons" that come with the individual ice cream cups? No thanks, I'll just use my fingers if that's my only option!!
sarah j. - December 12th, 2011 at 9:50 PM
I have asked pretty much every single person I know, and some that I don't know, whether they would rather have their hand or foot cut off, given a choice. It's an obsession. I have an Excel document with all their answers. And charts. And sometimes I practice writing my name with my toes in case one day both my arms get chopped off. It could happen. And I would be prepared.
K - December 12th, 2011 at 9:51 PM
I HAVE to brush my teeth as soon as my feet hit the floor in the mornings. Can't stand the grossness. I CAN NOT stand eating/drinking noises. They make me absolutely lose my mind!!!! I want my hubby and 4 kids to be healthy and hydrated, but I just wish I never had to be around them while they eat/drink. Not good. And the noise in the car....oh my holy cow. CAN NOT HANDLE IT!!! Movie on, radio on, ipod games on, and then voices on top of that!?!?! One way street straight to the loony bin. I'm also a sleep/nap nazi. One day, we will be able to eat with the nice families after church on Sundays, but it'll be quite a few more years.

There are many more, but I'll stop. My adult on-set ADD is kicking in....and speaking of that, does anyone else have this?? It also drives me nuts. This junk all goes away in Heaven, right?
Christy - December 12th, 2011 at 9:53 PM
When people misuse the word "height". They say height-th. it's length, width, but only height!
Jess R - December 12th, 2011 at 9:57 PM
I have a hard time liking people who use those little fad-y sayings like "My Bad" and "It is what it is" etc. If it is what it is, then it just is so why are you saying that! ARG!

Also, can't handle the noise - my kids often have the shocked mom is going nutso look because I can not THINK when there is so much giggling/shrieking/imitation cat noise making!
Lundie - December 12th, 2011 at 10:00 PM
Ok, I posted it! http://www.lundieslife.com/2011/12/12/yup-im-quirk-filled-too/
Jennifer - December 12th, 2011 at 10:00 PM
1. I hate styrofoam!! It totally gives me the heeby jeebies. I hate the noise it makes coming out of a box or the feel of it on my hands. Just the thought of it makes me cringe and sends chills all over my body. UGH!!

2. Cannot handle bad breath. I can tell when my breath is bad and they should be able to too! I can't even give the hubs a kiss in the morning on the mouth because of the breath issue. If he wants an early morning "snuggle", he knows he has to brush his teeth before ANYTHING will happen. :)

3. I freak out about the noise too! I can't focus on something with all the background stuff going on. My kids always want to talk or ask about something when I am on the phone and I cannot hear the person on the phone talking.

4. I can't handle clutter, my house gets cluttered and I am postal until it has been removed. Yet I am a packrat. Something's gotta give here!! Stresses me out!

5. My silverware has to be in their certain baskets in the dishwasher. It is so much easier when putting them up in the drawers after they are clean.

6. My clothes are in color groups in my closet. Only my clothes why bother with the kids clothes they are just gonna be on the floor anyway.
Lola - December 13th, 2011 at 10:57 PM
If I wasn't already married.....
Kelly Jo - December 12th, 2011 at 10:00 PM
  These are AWESOME!  Deep breath,  here are mine.
1. I LOVE disaster movies.  Natural disaster movies, not man made ones (Towering Inferno, blech) but give me Twister, Armageddon (I cry every time Liv Tyler is saying good bye to Bruce Willis while the Aerosmith (her real Dad) is on in the background) The Day After Tomorrow and
 the Granddaddy of natural disaster flicks....2012.  If it's on TV, it's on in my house.  I love storms too.  The bigger, the better.  Why?  Who knows?

2. Dirty feet.  If my feet start to feel grimy, I must wash them along with the shoes. Because what's the point of putting them back on clean feet otherwise?

3. Only I can load my dishwasher properly.  I never say anything to anyone if they are gracious enough to be helping me with the dishes but I will come back after they leave the room an rearrange it.  You may think by this that I am one of those obscenely clean people but I am not.  Other than this and the feet thing, God has given me the ability to just not notice clutter until I'm tripping over it.  So the dishwasher thing is pretty weird for me.
4.  I cackle when I laugh.  Just like witch in the Wizard of Oz.  I don't try to, it's just how I roll.
5. I love to burp out loud.  It makes me giggle.  The louder and longer the better.  Sometimes unfortunately I'll let one rip when not within the safe confines of my understanding but bewildered family.
I'm finding that sharing this with a bunch of strangers to be weirdly exhilarating.  

Erinn R Vahlkamp - December 12th, 2011 at 10:04 PM
I'm always mixing up what I say like...
"2 buck 10" or is it "10 buck 2" ?
"Buca di Beppo's" I can't remember the name so I called it "bippity bobbity boo"

I love jalapeños always...yes I want the chicken with the jalapeño glaze, sweet
Amy - December 12th, 2011 at 10:05 PM
so yes-I am a freak about too many things-first and foremost if my husband is driving and for example there is a curve before a bridge next to a flowing a river I will dream up that if he had a heart attack I would need to respond quickly by jerking the steering wheel and aiming for a tree so we didnt end up in the river because I would never be able to get everyone out alive... yes this exact scenario has ran through my head... I do this often I call it my prevention planning... but really it's my quirky habit that NO one on this earth should ever know I do! I have many others but yes I do believe this is all for now!-
Gellerbee - December 12th, 2011 at 10:10 PM
Well ok, I'll play. I took a typing class in high school (over 20 years ago) and ever since, when I get in a stressful situation, I type in my head everything I say. I even type what other people are saying. Literally on a huge keyboard in my mind. Sometimes my fingers get going as well. Sheesh. I'm double typing this right now!
I also have a weird habit of giving numbers and letters gender. 1, 4, 5, 7 are male. 2, 3, 6, 8, 9 are female. 0 is neutral gender. The reasons seem obvious here.
Thanks for letting me share my crazy. The only person I've ever told this to was my daughter who then admitted she translates every thing she hears or reads into French.
Jenn - December 12th, 2011 at 10:11 PM
Adding to the crazy...

I use the sleeve of my long sleeve shirt to wipe down my teeth several times a day, even though I brush regularly. CAN'T handle even the slightest hint of plaque, and toothbrushing that many times a day isn't convenient. GROSS.

Ear wax drives me batty. I have to clean my ears and my children's ears constantly. I'm probably causing hearing loss to every member of my family.

I have a phone-answering phobia. I will totally let it go to voicemail and call you right back. I have a mini anxiety attack when my phone rings.
Andrew - December 12th, 2011 at 10:13 PM
I'm there with the noise. I foster quiet in my house the way some men cultivate a porn addiction. Every time the wife is gone, I'm like "oooooh, quiet..."
My wife is a TV addict and it's like her blankie. Half the reason why I love writing is because it's a quiet activity. Hunting too. "What, I can go out in the woods and spend some time being quiet. Maybe get some meat too? I can kill a pig (bacon I can quietly fry)? I can use a bow and not a loud rifle? Where do I sign?"
If there were a job where I sat in a quiet room and stared into space or read decent books, I'd probably sign up for overtime and use the extra money to build my own quiet room at home.

Kelly Jo - December 12th, 2011 at 10:13 PM
Oh, I believe that it is impossible to have a bad day when you are wearing red shoes. I have lots of red shoes...
Kris - December 12th, 2011 at 10:17 PM
1. Hugging freaks me out. More than a little. Even from my kids.
2. Amen on the good-bye issues.
3. I dont't eat certain foods because of their texture

And much much more...
506 W. Midland - December 12th, 2011 at 10:21 PM
I like to sit my bare naked butt on other people's pillows.
Jenn - December 12th, 2011 at 10:30 PM
And the award goes to...
Kelly Jo - December 12th, 2011 at 10:31 PM
I am so trying not to wake up my husband right now but that one made me guffaw!
Angela - December 13th, 2011 at 12:42 AM
that is not real-it can't be. but i'm crying from laughing just thinking about it.
Karen Lemmon - December 13th, 2011 at 11:08 AM
I DEFINITELY know who wrote this! Thanks for the laugh. (and I want to point out that I was an innocent bystander....) ha! Sad that 506 no longer exists...
PattiCakes - December 13th, 2011 at 9:11 AM
I think I know who wrote this!
Taunda - December 12th, 2011 at 10:21 PM
1. I hate being surprised. My hubby has just given up. I will drive him crazy trying to figure out any suspicious behavior. At the same time I like to surprise other people. Control freak
2. I prefer silence when I'm driving. No music, no talking, no white noise
3. I hate public restrooms. If there is any way for me to wait until I'm home, I will, even if it is hours. My mom says when I was little they would have to stop at hotels for me to go to the restroom. I would refuse to use a gas station's or McD's restroom. I'm a little better now but not much.
4. I don't put my kids to bed at night. It is my husband's job. If he is not home, I make sure they have brushed their teeth, kiss them good night, and send them upstairs. I'm done, they're done, everyone just needs to go to their own rooms.
5. I'm a first born, rule follower. It makes me nervous that I married a youngest child that doesn't mind breaking rules all the time.
Stephanie C. - December 12th, 2011 at 10:24 PM
With your aversion to white noise - I am sure you will find my quirk utterly annoying. I have to have noise ALL. THE. TIME! In high school and college - I could only study with the TV on! Something that really annoyed my roommate! I went to the library to study exactly twice in college - but the silence completely freaks me out - it is is soooooo distracting! How can anyone concentrate with so much nothingness around? I have the TV on from the time I get up til the time I go to bed - even if I am not watching it. I write articles for websites - mostly science, health, disease and nutrition stuff - and I can only write with background noise. I can work, write or whatever in the midst of family discussions, kids fighting, dishwasher running and clothes clanking in the dryer! I even need noise to sleep - so we turn on a high powered - LOUD - fan every night! And I only have 2 kids - guess I could handle the noise of more.....just not the cost.
Brooke - December 12th, 2011 at 10:36 PM
This is my second comment on this post, because one of my quirks is the fear of missing out on something fun....

- I refuse to eat meat off of the bone. It's 2011! We are NOT cavemen! There's a better way!

- Don't touch my ears, for real. I impulsively slapped my mom in the face once for it. I can't help it!

- I say "I love you" wayyyy too much. I caught myself almost saying it to the person at the drive through window when I was buying lunch a few weeks ago. It turned out being "I lo-thank you!"
Jaime - December 12th, 2011 at 10:48 PM
I have been married to my husband for over 10 years and I freak out if he touches my face!!
I don't mind if he touches anything else just not my face....EVER!!  I also don't like drinking after anyone...yuck! I have 5 children and it seems they don't know how to get a drink out of the fridge and would rather take a sip of mine. Uh, no thank you! Now that drink is no good. I'm also OBSESSED with wiping counters down( anyone's it doesn't matter if it's a strangers)  like every 5 minutes(clorox wipes are my friend) I can't wear nail polish cause it eats it right off. (sick I know!!) Have a mentioned I'm a  control freak?!?!? I have to do everything myself so I make sure it gets done the right way (MY way) like putting away groceries (cause they can't go just anywhere), putting the kids clothes away ( cause they have to be hung a certain way and in order) or cleaning house (cause I have to wipe down things the right way-again my way) this is borderline OCD....ok who am I kidding ...it's major OCD!!  I can't help it!! 
Margaret - December 30th, 2013 at 12:17 PM
Oh my gosh. I think you are my soul-sister. My husband can't touch my face, I CANNOT drink after people and I refuse to let people help me with the groceries. I also won't let anyone do the dishes either...And people gave me a hard enough time this past season that I finally let someone else do the dishes, and somehow, my favorite dish got broken!! :(
Rebecca - December 12th, 2011 at 10:53 PM
1. I look forward to drinking water from the glass that has been sitting, half full, on my night table for 2 or 3 days. I'm not lazy and forgetful, I leave it there intentionally so one day, later that week, I can reward myself after scrubbing toilets by partaking in stale, room temperature water.
2. I cringe at what I've always called 'small parts'...mostly tiny circles smooshed together, like on a raspberry. Skin crawling.
3. I count my teeth with my tongue all of them time, in 4 sets of seven. Yep, they are all there.
4. I will not have a ticking clock in my house. I remember being 'trapped' at a sleepover, in a living room with a ticking clock; I didn't get a minute of sleep. Ever since, I've loathed them.
5. The bed MUST be made, and when I was in school or when I worked outside the home before kids, on the rare occasion it didn't get made, I would rush home at lunch to make it.
6. Listening to people chew and swallow. heebie jeebies. I leave the room.
7. I worry that the grammar-nut who posted above will read this and judge me to be some uneducated, TOP 40-loving fool ;)
Cindy - December 12th, 2011 at 10:54 PM
I can only chew gum until the flavor is gone. Then I have to get rid of it immediately. It makes me gag.

I eat popcorn in rhythm. Doesn't bother me, but drives my daughter crazy.

I love peanut butter sandwiches with mustard and jalapenos. Don't hate until you try it!
It is my go to food when I don't have time to prepare anything else.

I cannot stand going to bed before the kitchen is cleaned. I cannot leave town unless my house is picked up. I worry that something might happen and people would come into my house and find it a mess.

I agree with you about saying good-bye. Hate it.

I strongly dislike it when my husband changes channels right when someone gets to the direct object of a sentence!

Rachel - December 12th, 2011 at 10:59 PM
I used to suck my thumb at work when no one was looking. One time all the executives walked in and there I was with thumb in mouth... one of the men did a double take and I just yanked it out so fast and tried to act like it didn't happen. As soon as I would get on the elevator at work (and all alone...in went the thumb). Many motorists used to pass a thumbsucking blonde!! Ahh... it sounds so crazy to write. Let's just say my sweet husband married me and loved me through it. I did kick the habit as too many times of nursing my baby with thumb in mouth was too much reality!!!!

Oh to leave my name or not!! ; 0 Let's just say I am married to a great looking man who loves to fill our home with a thick cloud of frankincense and myrrh.

I will be coming to your house this week
Lestra - December 30th, 2013 at 11:34 AM
I recognize this one! But unfortunately she won't be coming to your house this year. :( Mine either. :( ps. We witnessed the thumb sucking very early on and thought "how interesting, she will definitely fit in with this family just fine!"
Tonya T - December 12th, 2011 at 11:08 PM
I despise odd numbers...1,3,5,7,9...ANXIETY!!! 2,4,6,8 are like little pieces of heaven. When I see the cover of '7', I turn it into an 8 in my head :o)

I also find it next to impossible to write a sentence or two without using at least 5 exclamation points or smily faces. It's so boring without them and I want you to feel happy after our exchange ;)

I kept a diary of the number of minutes each of my kids slept for the first 3 months of their life
and would add it up at the end of every day. I still have the excel log sheets to prove it !!! :0)
Leah Clairmont - December 12th, 2011 at 11:14 PM
First of all you slay me :) we may be as Anne would say, kindred spirits.
Me loonie list is as long and varied as everyone else's.
1. The sound of people chewing drives me so batty I almost can't sit at the dinner table with other people.
2. Noise pollution. You hit the nail on the head. One minute all is well with the world and the next it feels like every squeak, buzz and thump has crammed itself into my head. Also hilarious that I have 7kiddos by choice.... Oh I hope that I am a good enough momma in other areas to make up for the spazzing fits over random noises.
3. My whole house can look like 7 active kids and two super busy adults live there but it drives me insane if I haven't dusted the tops of the door jams.... The list probably goes to 100 but those are the Doozies
Carrie - December 12th, 2011 at 11:18 PM
Wow I feel like I just sat through an Abnormal Psych class!

I have a slight paranoia about puking. When I was a kid and one of my younger siblings was sick, I would lock myself in my room, avoid eating if at all possible (if I did catch it, better to have nothing in me to come back up!), and I would open my windows and attempt to freeze out the germs. As an adult, I am always on the look out for someone who appears sick. I will spot someone who I think may be a little pale, and convince myself that they are on the verge of ralphing. I have nearly sent myself into a full blown panic attack during class, so convinced I was that my classmate was going to hurl and I would not be able to get to the door without stepping over it.

If I have to pass someone in the grocery isle that looks potentially sick or appears to have bad hygiene, I hold my breath until I'm well passed them, imagining that there is a wake of germs behind them that I have avoided. (this practice seems most needful in Walmart.)

Loud noises make me crazy. I have frightened my husband multiple times by my instantaneous wrath over noises such as clapping, laughing, whistling... that I deem too loud or too close to my ears. I don't have kids yet, but while babysitting a friend's baby recently I had a melt down in the car because baby's happy noises were getting to loud and I didn't know how to make him quiet down.
I also hate the sound of macaroni being stirred. It kills my appetite.

I cannot stand to see anything dead. If I'm on a walk and see a dead bird or rodent (heaven forbid it's a large swollen raccoon) I panic. I can't look at the decaying species, but I'm afraid if I don't look at all I might misjudge and graze it with my foot. (this may reference back to a traumatic childhood incident involving jumping into the grass barefoot and coming in contact with an unsuspecting baby toad. My childishly frantic behavior when I see an earthworm has a similar childhood relation.)

Kellie - December 12th, 2011 at 11:21 PM
Absolutely MUST clean out my ears with q-tips after every shower and the more ear wax on the end of the q-tip...the better! Likewise, the more food
kellie - December 12th, 2011 at 11:37 PM
Don't know what happened...only a tiny part of my comment showed up so I'm reposting:
Absolutely MUST clean out my ears with q-tips after every shower and the more ear wax on the end of the q-tip...the better! Likewise, the more food
kellie - December 12th, 2011 at 11:58 PM
Last comment didnt fully post so I'm reposting
jolynn M - December 13th, 2011 at 12:05 AM
1, I yell. yes, I am a yeller. I usually don't realize I'm doing it and I hate others that yell.
2. I hate arguing. I have been known to go postal because a child argues with me. I tend to hold my tongue a bit longer with adults, but don't argue with me for long. It stresses me out and I absolutely hate hearing someone else's argument.
3. I secretly wish I was "martha stuart" around my home. Instead my home looks more like I'm Roseanne LOL. In my fantasy world, my home is spotless and everything has it's place. I envy friends who have this ability, but sadly it is not in cards for me.
4. I also hate noise. I can take it for so long, but have been known to go postal and make everyone turn everything off.
5. I am WAY overprotective of my children and nieces/nephews....as well as other people's kids in walmart or out in public. If I see your kid ready to take a header onto the floor because your back is turned, expect to see me running over to make sure someone is going to catch him/her. Or at least yell at the nearest adult to catch him/her. Please don't take offense. Please don't be surprised if I advise your child not to run in the store or to move their butt out of the way of the oncoming car.

I have so many more- do you wish to hear LOL?
Audrey - December 13th, 2011 at 12:24 AM
I have a ton of quirks but one of which you may have noticed is that the entire family's outfits must coordinate. When Tyler wears this, Callie and Courtney, mom and dad wear this... This is everyday...not just for family pictures. Hopefully I can let this obsession go before my kids become bitter teenagers who rebel by wearing black and piercings to counteract all the striped tights and sweater vests all these years--
Briana - December 13th, 2011 at 1:54 AM
I am dying here - these quirks are hilarious! And crazy, haha! :) I have a few of my own to add to the bunch.

There are some people, that I see and think to myself "He looks like he would have bad breath." I don't know why. There are two celebrities that I think this about, but the only one I can remember right now is Reese Witherspoon. I love her, and think she's so cute! But, there is something about the shape of her mouth, or her teeth, or the way she talks sometimes, that makes it look like she would have bad breath. I'm sure her breath is quite pleasant. I don't know...

I am always mindlessly messing with my fingertips, when I'm watching tv or just sitting around. When I drive, I tend to click my fingernails on either side of the steering wheel. It's usually only when it's a long drive or in traffic or on a narrow, 2-lane road. It only bothers my husband, and that's when I tell him that he should have driven. Then, I click them even more, just to make him mad.

I have to eat small foods in pairs, like Cheez-its, or M
Shae - December 13th, 2011 at 4:48 AM
First. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This post cracked me up. I recently came across your blog and I LOVE it, I'm quite distressed by one comment that says '2 posts in one month!' Say what?! Definitely, definitely need more.

Ok. I am super weird so picking a top 5 is going to be tricky but I'm going to try.

1. I do not like to end on 'sweet' at any meal. I need sweet, but I like to have some sweet, some salty/savory, some sweet and so on but end on savory. I go to Subway, order a sandwich, chips and my cookies all at once and eat them 1-2 bites at a time each until the end where I usually leave 1 chip for after my last bite of cookie. Some meals you can't help but end on sweet due to how they are served but usually I'll go and snack on something savory as soon as possible.

2. I strongly prefer (read ALWAYS HAVE TO, IF ITS HUMANLY POSSIBLE AND WILL RUSH TO THE TABLE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN) to sit with my back to the wall in a restaurant, in the 'near the wall/window' seat, because not only do I like to see everyone and their food at the table, but I like to see everyone in the restaurant. And if I can both look out the window and survey the vastness of the restaurant, it's even better!

3. I do not like free stuff. I know, I know it's some people's reason for existence but I hate it. I love a bargain and I don't mind BOGO but when they are standing around in the mall or on the street handing out free samples, I can't do it. I don't want a free sample to try ice cream, I don't want a free t-shirt shot to me from a cannon at a sporting event, etc. Best I can figure it has something deeper to do with not wanting people to think I'm poor and can't afford something, even when I was unemployed, and had paid into the 'system' and really could have used unemployment, I didn't want to apply, I applied under duress and when it didn't sort out immediately I was relieved and just 'let it go.' Best example/story of this ever: All my work colleagues picked up a free yogurt on the way to lunch together, we all ate our lunch. My boss had picked up a second one. We were in the restaurant and they were all 'you should try it, you would love it' I fought the urge and was finally like fine, ok. My colleagues knowing of my hate of all things free SHOUTED! 'Hey look at her with her FREE YOGURT!!!!' I was mortified. Less about the yelling and more about the shame of having the free yogurt. I couldn't open it and gave it back to my boss. I have even worse free issues now.

4. I hate the bus. I can get around it in other countries when it's an absolute necessity but really I hate it. I would only ride the park
Jennifer - December 13th, 2011 at 7:22 AM
1. Can't stand "chewing" sounds. Oh, my word...it puts me OVER the edge. I have came unglued on my family for any mouth noises. Slurping, chewing, crunching. It really makes me crazy. I have to leave the room a lot of the time or I just yell at whoever is doing it. Drives me crazy.
2. I want socks on my kids feet when they are in the house...I KNOW their feet HAVE to be cold.
3. Can't stand a crumb on the table or wherever. I must wipe it off the table, even if it's across the table. If I put something up and it's not straight in the cabinet...I walk away and then I HAVE to turn around and go back and "fix" it or it will drive me to my grave!
If a spoon or fork, etc. is not straight on the table...I slowly and secretly reach and straighten it...yes, even if it is yours. Can't stand them being crooked.
4. Can not have ice in any drink except tea. Not even 1 piece.
5. I always leave my bedroom to the last of the cleaning and NEVER get around to cleaning it up...okay, I do maybe every other week. :/ It drives me CRAZY...but, yet clothes remain on the floor...only mine. But, my kids rooms...can't STAND clothes, etc. to be messy. Their rooms have to be cleaned or I will do it and throw away all of their crap and clothes. That is the same with the rest of my house...very clean...except my bedroom. DON'T tell mama, "You don't clean your room." It does not apply in any situation!!! Yet, I obsess over it not being clean.
Marissa - December 13th, 2011 at 7:43 AM
Hahaha I have to walk into Wal*Mart through the grocery entrance and then work my way left to right in a big square when I shop. But for Wegmans I have to do the opposite. I don't know why, but it drives me nuts if I don't! I think at first it was an efficiency thing (milk, eggs, etc. should be last since they need to be refrigerated), but now I HAVE to do it that way!

I can't relax if my house is dirty (and no, I don't like cleaning), or if we eat during a movie, I have to get up and rinse the dishes or else I can't pay attention.

I can't stand other people (even my husband, although it has gotten a LOT better with him!) driving my car. I don't mind being driven in other people's cars, but I always feel like they slam on the brakes or drive like a maniac in my car and so I refuse to let anyone drive it haha.

I name EVERYTHING. My car, my fiddles, my camera, my spider plant and shamrock (Spidey and Shammy, respectively)......I name OTHER people's things (typically musical instruments). My mother-in-law bought an air purifier (because I am allergic to her cat) and it is made by a company called "Peter Honeywell" so I named it Pete. And she calls it Pete now too.

I can't listen to ANYTHING (music, sermons, lectures, chit chat) without thinking..."How would I interpret that into ASL (American Sign Language)?" And then I can't focus because I am too busy trying to make an interpretation in my head. :-p

Susie - December 13th, 2011 at 8:00 AM
I love that we're all nuts! But, if we're all nuts...I'm thinking that makes us all normal. which makes me sad
I love horrible music (yeah I bust a move to Kesha) I want to adopt Lindsay Lohan, she really needs someone to love her the way a real parent should.
I separate all candy into colors (think smarties) and then eat them least favorite (Yellow) to most favorite (green) I like to get a giant bag and open all of the packs and then sort them. I love to sort things
My plate has to be a certain way before I can eat, but sometimes, I forget how it's supposed to be, so I keep turning it until it looks right. or my husband tells me to stop
I hate to say goodbye, but it's because I know the person I'm saying goodbye too isn't going to miss me as much as I'll miss them
I hate to be the center of attention - but I want to be with the person that IS the center of attention. I want to be the best friend of the most popular person in the room.
I'm 41 and deathly afraid of dolls, and antique baby carriages, and goats (just their devil-eyes)
I also think that everyone is secretly making fun of me and wishing that I'd stop coming over.

Candice - December 13th, 2011 at 8:00 AM
Hmmm...so when you run out of eye-make-up remover (or if you're too lazy to open the cabinet and get it out)(or always)...you see that Q-tip you just used to get the wax out of your ears...uh-huh, totally works. I've only told one person that before and she's still not over it.

I drink way more soda now than I ever have. A little addicted I think. But I only really love fountain drinks. If it's a can of soda, I'm over it after like 3 drinks. If anyone in my family (hubs, dad...)is about to open a can of soda, I am totally eyeballin' them hoping to get that very first sip.

I use entirely too many slang terms with my kids. I regularly call my preschoolers Homie, homeslice, homeskillet, yo...had my 2 1/2 year old repeating stinkin'. She would say she was "stinkin' tired". My 3 year old just told me she was freaking out and the day before she said the inside of the van was "smokin' hot".
DH - December 13th, 2011 at 8:12 AM
It makes me so happy to know we're all weird! :)

1. I have to guess surprises. I hate to be surprised, especially with gifts for some reason, so I have to keep guessing and guessing until I get it right.

2. I have to finish a book/TV/movie series as quickly as possible once I start it. I will read for hours a day, getting absolutely no sleep, because I feel like I have to know how it's going to end. For multi-year TV series, it's a tiring month.

3. Only strangers can touch my feet.

4. I throw everything away. I'm not sentimental at all. I tossed all the keepsakes from our wedding, minus the bouquet. But I can't throw away one single spit up-stained onesie or crusty sippy cup from our kids.

5. I'm an Ethiopian stalker. I can spot an Ethiopian from a mile away. My husband thinks I'm crazy.
Whitney - December 13th, 2011 at 8:25 AM
The noise one definitely sounds like sensory integration disorder. Google it or read Too Loud, Too Fast, Too Bright, Too Tight. Our son is currently in therapy, but I think I need it too!
Cathy W - December 13th, 2011 at 8:30 AM
OK! Here I go......

(Horse people will understand my quirks, but they freak out non-horsey people)

I love the smell of a sweaty horse and fresh cut hay, but I gag at the smell of most perfumes (thanks to my first pregnancy).
I can remember the horse and the name of the horse but not the person riding it.
I hate marshmallows....the feel of them and chewing them makes me want to gag ( not the taste just the texture)
I hate it when someone opens a drawer or cabinet and then half way closes it.....if you can take the effort to close it halfway then give it a little more effort and SHUT IT!!!!

I know I am a weirdo....my kids can confirm it.....

And I am sure my post is driving the people who have to have correct grammar crazy... sorry.

mollie - December 13th, 2011 at 8:31 AM
i walk with determination and speed through crowds. i'm like a snake side-stepping and ducking through people, it is nearly impossible to keep up with me and i'm almost positive everyone i pass is thinking i am rude. why do i do this when after i make it through the crowd i inevitably have to stand and wait for my husband who is in the back of the mass giving me his 'you have to be kidding me' look....

i also live in texas and though i enjoy nice cool sheets in the summer, the moment the temperature drops under 50 degrees, i start using a mattress pad warmer. warm sheets cold feet = night night.
Juanita - December 13th, 2011 at 8:35 AM
Okay, I have a ton of quirks but I will name only two:
1. I REFUSE to type "LOL" after any text, post or comment. Who really laughs out loud at everything? I think not. I would rather "haha" you.
2. The days of the week and months of the year have a shape in my mind. When I hear someone say "Wednesday" I immediately get a picture of "where" it is in my head...it helps me to process the passage of time too...like how far Sunday is from Tuesday.....it's weird but when we were little kids my mom had us all DRAW out how the days of the week were ordered as well as the months of the year and what color was assigned to them. My sisters and I all had something different and it was very interesting. When trying to explain this to my husband he looked at me like I have 3 heads. I don't think men think in color and shapes like we women do.
mollie - December 13th, 2011 at 8:35 AM
i'm laughing so hard reading the other responses which have reminded me of two more:

1) i wash half my face at a time. this is so i can see anyone who might come up behind me to murder me the minute i make the mistake of soaping both eyes at once.

2) add me to the list of closet closers for bedtime. don't you know whoever is hiding in there ready to kill me with a wire hanger can't come out if you shut the door?

obv there are lots of people out to kill me in my house....
Ann Terese - December 13th, 2011 at 8:42 AM
I have to separate all towels before washing. Hand towels with hand towels, and body towels with body towels. I can't stand the idea of towels that touch the butt, getting washed with hand and face towels.
Andrea - December 13th, 2011 at 8:49 AM
Growing up, my sister and I had chores. Folding clothes was one of them. We'd stand at the basket together to fold, but it hurt my eyes so much. Heather would lick the tips of her fingers before she'd grab what she called "a cloe" and then fold it. I hated it and would yell and ask her why. She claimed that when she was a little baby, she burned her fingers. No detailed story about the incident though. I am older and remember every event of our lives. I never saw her get burnt. (Is it burnt or burned?) Mom knew she had never been hurt in a fire or a hot stove, but we just let her get away with the excuse because it was obvious there was no explanation for it. She just couldn't help it. Dad couldn't stand it, and he extra couldn't stand that when he'd ask her why she licked her fingers, she'd say "when I was a little baby..." and he would tell her no she didn't. If a friend, stranger or other family member asked her why she was doing that, it was always the same answer.
Fastforwarding to the present. She called me 2 weeks ago to tell me that she asked her 8 year old daughter why she won't wear the new tights that were bought for her. Reagan's response was "Mom, they're just so soft that they make me want to lick my fingers before I touch them". Her mother said "I understand" and left it at that.
Stacy G - December 13th, 2011 at 8:53 AM
If I get up in the middle of the night...for any reason...I have to brush my teeth. I cannot. CANNOT go to sleep with gross teeth. Use the bathroom, brush my teeth. Check on one of my kids, brush my teeth. Hear a strange noise and investigate, brush my teeth. If I lay down and haven't brushed my teeth, I must get up and brush my teeth. There was a lot of teeth-brushing going on in my house when I was prego and peeing 12 times per night.

Haley - December 13th, 2011 at 9:02 AM
I LOVE to stand outside the bathroom/bedroom/laundry room door, wait for my husband to come out, and then jump out and say 'BOO!' He jumps everytime which makes it so rewarding, I will laugh for at least ten minutes (I am cracking up right now as I type) I did this to my 5 year old the other day while she was in the bathtub, I'm lucky she didn't fall and bust her head open!

I too hate pranks, but add to that surprises. HATE them. Before my husband proposed, I would freak out everytime he bent down. "GET UP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Ummm...putting my shoes on? Oh, okay.
Lynsey Kramer - December 13th, 2011 at 9:12 AM
this is like therapy reading through all of this! flipping therapy!

1. i love the smell of gas....like from the gas station. its heavenly to me!

2. i have a fear of knives being left out on the counter top. and if i see a knife on the counter top, i envision it stabbing me in the stomach (by itself i guess???) or falling off and stabbing someone in the head. shudder. knives creep me out.

3. i am deathly afraid of mayo AND miracle whip- they are equals in my book. my best friend that lived down the street from me growing up had a sister who ate mayonnaise out of a JAR WITH HER FINGERS. one day i was greeted at the door by the sister and she drooled it all over the side of my face (she had a cleft pallet and couldn't hold her food in very well.... poor girl). i still to this day have nightmares about it and can recall the smells and everything! i will straight up dry heave if someone is eating mayo in my presence and talking and has "MAYO STRINGS" connecting from their teeth to their lips...you know what i'm talking about??? that's the worst!

i won't allow it in my house and my four girls have NEVER had mayo or miracle whip ever! and my hubby had to give it up.....unless he is eating on his own somewhere far away from me.

4. i never do anything exactly the same ever. i never cook a recipe the same. i always change things up or do a little more of this or a little less of that. i never get dressed or ready in the same order. never. i'm constantly busy and doing stuff. it just never makes sense and doesn't have to. i don't have a "routine" for mostly anything in my life. and i actually kind of like it that way.

EXCEPT for a firm bedtime for my girls. i'm a nazi about their naps being at 2 pm and their bedtime being at 8 pm. but for me, i could go to bed at 10 pm or 2 pm...it makes no SENSE whatsoever.

5. i'm a movie quoter....like all of the time! i'm constantly answering questions with famous "movie quotes". and if you don't know where "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS" came from...you are dead to me. ha!

and to think as i was reading through this list i was thinking to myself,"I don't really have any quirks!" clearly, i have issues. i even have a 6, 7, 8, 9, and possibly a 10 to add to the list! what the heck!
Haley - December 13th, 2011 at 9:44 AM
YES! Mayo/miracle whip makes me barf! The smell, the look, the texture.....Disgusting!
Dani - December 13th, 2011 at 9:23 AM
Oh my. I love all of you so very, very much!!! Thank you for the laughter, and the tears that came with!!!
Deep breath - here's a few of mine.....

1.) I too only wash half my face at a time, I wlso leave the bathroom door cracked, shower curtain slightly ajar, and mirror positioned at the proper angle so that I can see the ax murderer before he sees me.

2.) ALWAYS have a can of aeresol hairspray in the house, we don't even use it. But I KNOW, that in the event we get a bad guy with manners (who knocks on the door), one good spray to the eyeballs will give me the chance to save myself and my kids.

3.)Ear wax is of the devil (and I too refuse to capitalize his name - take that!!!) I am constantly checking my kids for goop. I just know one of them will sneak out of this house with goopy ears and people will see, and they will think to themselves "Poor little child, doesn't your mother love you?"

Hilary - December 13th, 2011 at 9:26 AM
Love the smell of Desatin! That's right...cream that goes in a baby butt makes my nose hairs do a happy dance!
Az Lexington - December 13th, 2011 at 9:51 AM
Get the padded room ready:

I count the "levels" in a room. A level can be a shelf, a mantle, a countertop BUT it can not be something squishy like a cushion, or ottoman. And I will continue to count the levels in a room till we leave that room (usually at a friends house) and if they have a big entertainment center with different shelves then I'm like a kid on Christmas morning.

Before I eat anything I always think to myself, "will I be able to eat this again if I puke it up later? Is that twitch in my stomach telling me to not eat this food? How long has this been sitting out?" because I am petrified of getting food poisoning. If I take a bite of meat and it doesn't taste right then I'm done, I am not eating anymore from that plate or establishment or that particular dish. I have had food poisoning before and it is awful. I absolutely refuse to eat coleslaw from a restaurant or potluck event.

I count the letters in each word on road signs and I prefer each word to be easily divided by three and I prefer that there are at least three vowels in each word. The word 'Austin' for example is the perfect word. It has six letters and three vowels. 'San Antonio on the other hand does not sit well with me b/c it can't be divided by three and there are four vowels. Way to go Houston, even though you are an armpit of a city, your name fits my crazy criteria. Charlotte, you are not only a cute name for a girl, but you also fit my criteria.

Don't you dare come to my house and dry off outside of the tub. Why would a normal human being choose to drip their nasty flesh water all over a floor instead of drying off inside the tub? Why?

I once went all day without brushing my teeth because my friend borrowed my toothbrush without asking. I could tell she had used it b/c it was wet when I went to use it for myself. My husband is baffled by this because, well, I have no problem...um....pleasuring him in an intimate way but I will let my teeth fall out before I share a toothbrush with him. If my kids accidentally use my toothbrush then it goes in the trash. Done. (I buy toothbrushes in bulk at Costco just for this reason)

And the number one thing that makes me gag.....grown adults who kiss their parents on the mouth. I can't handle it and I will simulate gagging if I see someone do it. Why.....why would I kiss my mom on the mouth to greet her or to say goodbye? I just don't get it and I have blogged about it before. It sicks me out to the inth degree.

I love the smell of my fingers after I touch something metal. A metal frame, a hanger, nuts and bolts....I will sniff my fingers like it's crack after I touch something metal.

I ALWAYS wash the sink out before I use it. Doesn't matter if I'm about to brush my teeth I still take my hand and wash all the hair, water spots and whatever down the drain. I will also do this at a party, a restaurant, a friends house, a public restroom.....I can't help it. I want the sink clean before I use it. My friends are baffled why I always wash their sink faucet and handles till they shine before and after I wash my hands.

I need help :)
3rMAMA - December 30th, 2013 at 12:41 PM
maybe u have an iron deficiency?
amy - December 13th, 2011 at 9:59 AM

Ok, I'll play.
I hate the smell of ketchup. I love to eat it, and will coat every single fry in it, but as soon as I'm done, I can't even rinse my own plate without gagging. At chick-fil-a, I have to put all emptied ketchup packets in the foil sack and fold it down as my kids use them up. I can take vomit, poo, trash cans full of two-week-old shrimp; but ketchup? Kill me now.
I also competely pick off my pinky toe nails. If they grow even a tiny bit, I rip them off and it bleeds and hurts like a *^#%. If I ever get a pedicure, I ask the lady to fill in the hole with polish. I haven't had pinky toenails since third grade.
Aspen - December 13th, 2011 at 10:13 AM
I love your humor. It made my day! As for my quirk, I'd say that I'm all about a clean ass. I try really hard to teach my kids (3 boys, 12,9,6) that if you wipe your butt thoroughly, you won't get an itchy butt. My 9 yr old has finally got that down. My 12 yr old, by my nose, does not. My 6 yr old, though I tried to show him on several occasions (I cringe while watching his efforts), still gets a thorough wiping by me. Just thinking about the boys wiping freaks me out because I'm constantly thinking what did they touch After they wiped before they washed their hands (IF and How Well???). Knock on Wood, we haven't had any Rotoviruses going around lately, so maybe they are at least washing their hands well enough. Thanks for the Funnies of this blog, I can always use a good laugh!
Angela W. - December 13th, 2011 at 10:14 AM
Quirks? Don't got 'em. Say whaaattt?! I just lied. Okay, I'm the Queen of Quirks in my group.

1) Cottonballs. HATE THEM. If I have to touch one, talk about one, see one being pulled apart...vomit. I want to lick my hands. And have before. I cannot explain how this texture is my absolute cryptonite. My friends think it's hilarious and have threatened so many times to act on it, such as covering themselves in cotton balls and then chasing me around in their cottonball-man suits asking for a hug. SICK.

2) I cannot stand pranks or embarrasing situations. To me there is nothing entertaining about someone getting tragically hurt, either emotionally or physically. However, my dislikes for embarrassing actions goes waaaaay beyond the norm. If I see something as potentially embarrassing for someone,catch this: even if the person doing the action is not embarrassed AT ALL, I will still feel every ounce of the embarrassment they do or should feel and I cannot watch or listen. This even applies to telelvision shows or movies. Like I can't handle Never Been Kissed for this very reason. Drew Barrymore's character gets embarrassed so many times, it's beyond painful to watch. I will plug my ears and hide under a pillow until all is clear. I must be seriously emotionally disturbed. It's like living with constant Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or something.

3) Last one, I'll share. I am terrified to vacuum alone. I hate how hearing impairing this activity can be. I constantly fear a serial killer is behind me and that I will turn around just at the moment I die and had I just been able to hear the noises around me, I would have been able to pull my crazy awesome Angelina Jolie moves on him and be victoriously still alive. As a teenager, my mom would have this chore on my list of things to do while home during the summer and she was at work. I would call her, crying and afraid to hit the "ON" switch of the vacuum. All I got was a very loving but firm, "Angela, you have to face your fears. See you when I get home. Love you, Boo". I'm now 26 and still struggle with this. I should probably stop watching Criminal Minds but MY GOSH Matthew Gray Gubler is adorable! ;)

See, you're not the only freak. :D
Amy - December 30th, 2013 at 12:55 PM
I am the biggest ninny in the world since I started watching CM, too. I know I should stop watching, but Matthew Gray Gubler and Shemar Moore just suck me in every. single. time.
amy - December 13th, 2011 at 10:20 AM
Also, since I was little, saying the Lord's Prayer makes me yawn. Every single time. I can't suppress it. Even in the middle of my own wedding ceremony. Even just reciting it in my head. Awesome, no?
Olivia - December 13th, 2011 at 10:25 AM
Oh, these are so great! My turn!

1) I must brush my teeth before I take a shower. I HATE getting out of the shower with dirty teeth. I want to be 100% clean when I step out! Also, the first thing I do when I get out is use the Q-Tip. Not because my ears are dirty, but because I really dislike the feeling of wet ears. Yikes.

2) I have a weird obsession with guessing/figuring out peoples' ethnic backgrounds. I love trying to guess people's nationalities...especially in airports.

3) I don't like even numbers. After reading the previous comments, I guess that's pretty unusual. I think it's because I'm a photographer and I think photos with 5 or 7 people in them are so much more aesthetically pleasing. Weird.

4) I can remember all of the bizarre things about a person...where they grew up, favorite cereal, what they were wearing when I met them, their aunt's dog's name, etc...but I can never remember names. Ever.

5) I hate socks. I prefer being barefoot all the time, but I do wear appropriate shoes in public and I do wear socks with tennis shoes while I'm working out, but I never ever wear just socks. My mom can't stand to be barefoot, so she wears socks all the time, even to bed. I got the opposite gene and can't stand socks, ESPECIALLY if I'm trying to fall asleep. I don't care if it's freezing!

I guess we are all weird! It'd be boring if nobody was quirky.

(Oh, and I agree with the person who said that they can't have their fingernails painted but have to have their toes painted. Heehee.)
Alexandra - December 13th, 2011 at 2:08 PM
I am so glad someone else dislikes even numbers! My mom has always had an obsession with even numbers, especially the number 6... I'm pretty sure that's where my total aversion to evens comes from! I'm also weird about left and right- if I have to pick a hand or don't know which way to go, I'll go with left EVERY single time, even if I think it's wrong. I just don't like right :D

I also look for double numbers on license plates and get so frustrated if I can't find doubles of all numbers in a day
tiffany - December 13th, 2011 at 10:35 AM
I have to turn on the bathroom light at night when I go to the bathroom so I can see inside the toilet...too afraid there might be a snake in there that will bite me.

If I look at a light bulb turn off it's bad luck...must turn the light back on and close my eyes then turn it off again.
You Know You Do Too... - December 13th, 2011 at 10:37 AM
I love rules but I obsessively and skillfully break them. ALL. THE. TIME! Every last one of them...
A Little More Crazy - December 13th, 2011 at 10:38 AM
Definitely agree on the closet doors - they must all be closed. But bathroom doors must be open - all the way open. If they're slightly ajar, it makes me crazy. The doors that need to be open should be all the way open; the doors that need to be closed (pantry, closets) need to be all the way shut.

I always put the phone right next to the shower in case I slip
A Little More Crazy - December 13th, 2011 at 4:54 PM
The rest got cut off - I always put the phone right next to the shower in case I slip
sarah j. - December 13th, 2011 at 10:50 AM
Is there a comment limit? I keep thinking of more quirks, and I have to add them, or I won't be able to rest.

When I'm driving, I am always scouting out the best place for my car to go into the ditch or to have an accident of any sort. I like to plan ahead for these sort of things.

I have a Gilmore Girls quote for every. single. situation. that I find myself in. I also have plenty of other movie quotes for all manner of circumstances. Pretty much anything that happens in my life reminds me of a movie quote. Or sometimes it's a comic strip, but usually movies.

If I am eating with someone, and I'm finished/full before they are, watching them eat makes me want to gag. Just thinking about it right now makes me gag a little.

I am fascinated by many things, and once I've read a sentence about something or someone that catches my interest, I *have* to read all I can find about them online (okay, Wikipedia)- various serial killers, agent orange, Emmet Till, Clive Wearing... the list goes on for days. And then I have to share what I've learned with those around me. Most of them don't want to know.

If I make a typo in anything- tweet, Facebook status, instant message- I can't rest until I have fixed it. If I can't fix it (like in my previous comment here) ^ it will bug the tar out of me. If I see a misspelled word in someone else's FB status, I want to correct them so bad it hurts. Misspelled words or improper grammar in books or newspapers drive me crazy.

And now I'm stopping again. Until I think of more, and my OCDDDDDDD drives me back to add them. Sorry, I'll try to control myself.
Dori - December 13th, 2011 at 1:40 PM
Oh my gosh Sarah - I thought I was the only person in the world who scouts for ditches and accidents! Seriously.
And GG quotes. I think we are the same person.
and typos.. I had one on FB that did not make it to the blog for that very reason.

Erin - December 30th, 2013 at 2:20 PM
I scout for ditches and the best place to have an accident too!
Cindy - December 13th, 2011 at 10:50 AM
These are so funny! I have to add:
1. Hate browning bananas. Eww. They must be pure yellow. Even touching the banana with brown spots is disgusting. I will feel queasy if a brown spot sneaks up on me as I am eating a banana, and results in an immediate disposal of the banana.
2. Can't have uncooked meat near anything else in the fridge. Must be kept in package, within plastic grocery bag when in fridge. Once cooked, it can go anywhere.
3. Love the smell of skunk. If the odor comes into the car, I take a deep breath. When the smell is gone, I feel a twinge of sadness.

Susie - December 13th, 2011 at 12:05 PM
Angel - December 13th, 2011 at 10:58 AM
Okay, I posed this same type of question for MOPS leaders at our retreat. One of the best answers came from a leader whose husband cannot stand watching her (or anyone) brush her teeth or the smell of toothpaste. She said she has to hide and brush - and if he remotely suspects she brushed - he goes ballistic. The kicker came when she said that sometimes she'll brush her teeth intentionally because she's just too tired for...intimacy. We were howling!

Obviously, I have no "quirks" to share since I am completely normal. ;)

1) Cannot stand to hear or watch people chew.
2) Your, You're - and They're, Their, There must be used appropriately in the sentence or it's simply like fingernails on a chalkboard.
3) Love the smell of wet cement - and it's even better when there's fresh green grass clippings in the mix and on the sidewalk.

Ta-da! xo
issues - December 13th, 2011 at 11:13 AM
I can't enjoy ethnic cuisine if the "wrong" music is playing. Must be a "theme" thing....
Erinn - December 13th, 2011 at 11:21 AM
i see my post last night must have got cut off when I tried to post with my iphone. dang phone. Anyways, The post are cracking me up. Here's a few to add.

1) I almost always add to any recipe I have, just because I want lots of flavor. When i make salsa I hardly ever follow the same recipe once and I can't make a small amount I always make at least 5 jars. I think cream cheese can go in almost anything and is amazing. Oh don't forget jalapenos and garlic...I add to most things, if I can get away with it. ;)

2) I won't eat into a tomato that has big chunks that is in a salad. It grossed me out that it's rubbery on the outside and gooshy in the middle. It had to be cut up small or in salsa.

3) I check for lice daily and am paranoid about me kids getting it after a few summers ago it was not fun at all!.... I Will do almost anything to keep it from happening again. My kids think I'm crazy I will spray down their hair with a mint spray made out of mouthwash and water, when we go out to the movies or someplace with a lot of people. If my head starts itching i go and comb my hair out bc I need to have peace I don't have it too. Ok. I'm freak. lol

4) I can't stand it when the kids fight. standard policy go to your room until your done crying about it. I don't want drama. Then they can talk when all is calm and most of the time someone will end up taking a nap. score. and that same someone...my youngest twin will go to bed early. I love that about her she will crash when she is tired and it does not matter where she is, could be floor, table, climb in someones bed if were at friend house. She requires a lot of sleep and she is the one with the biggest temper....hints when she's fighting she's tired and ready for sleep. Then wakes up all happy.

Cara Rahm - December 13th, 2011 at 11:28 AM
I get crazy when other people tell me they are OCD or a Germaphobe or afraid of heights or afraid of storms or ADD or whathaveyou. Getouttamyface with all that nonsense. I can not believe you. All that stuff is fake and made-up.
Barb - December 30th, 2013 at 12:07 PM
No, it's not made up. OCD has completely turned my life upside down and I thought I might be losing my mind. Only by the grace of God, prescription medicine, and good counseling have I been able to live a fairly normal life.
Jen - December 13th, 2011 at 11:49 AM
My teenage daughter and I throw our hands up in the ay-er all the time when we're singing Top 40 in the car.
Jennifer D. - December 13th, 2011 at 11:54 AM
I have to eat small candies likebSkittles or M
Avery - December 13th, 2011 at 12:18 PM
1.I leave tons of windows open on my computer...a soup recipe I might make, blog posts I just read that I MIGHT want to read again, or show someone else. I am not a hoarder in any other area of my life, but when it comes to internet info I have the classic symptom of "I might need it some time!"

2. All the clothes in my closet have to be hung facing the same direction. If they aren't, I will take them off the hangers and re-hang them. That goes for towels too...if they are folded "wrong," I will go back and re-fold them. My poor husband.

3. If I go for a walk or run outside I always have to wash my hands when I get back home. Even though I don't touch anything while I'm out.
SenoraEspana - December 13th, 2011 at 12:33 PM
1) I must eat candy in pairs. Also, if whatever candy I'm eating comes in different colors (M and M's, Skittles, Mike and Ike's), I must sort the colors BEFORE I eat them by 2s in rainbow order. Same goes for small crackers like Cheez-its or Wheat Thins... Two at a time.

2) The toilet paper must unroll from the top. I have even reloaded the toilet paper on the dispenser at other people’s homes just because it bugs me to have it the other way around. Shh - don't tell them it was me!

3) If you come to my kitchen, do not open a single cabinet door and leave it open. If you open it, you must close it. Can’t stand having those doors hanging open. Freaks me out like that scene in Sixth Sense. Also, there is only one acceptable way to load the dishwasher. If you are kind enough to help me load the dishwasher and it wasn’t loaded the way I would do it, Thank you, but I will take things out and reload it once you leave the room.

4) I think it’s a waste having my fingernails painted (it just starts chipping off in 24 hours anyway), but I love having my toenails painted.

5) I am a monogamous purse carrier. I use one purse until it's dead and then move on to a new one. I can't switch back and forth between several (or even two) purses. (Yes I copied this from a previous commenter, but it fit me too!)

6) I HATE it when people pop their knuckles around me. I’ve been known to growl at my husband, slap my sister in the arm, or glare at total strangers who are popping knuckles within range of me being able to hear it. It makes my fingers tickle in a way that I must stretch and flex them.

7) I have an obsession with numbers in multiples of 5. If you are turning the volume level up or down on the TV, you simply cannot leave it at 17 or 22 even if that is a comfortable level. It must be at either 15, 20, or 25 or I will take the remote from you and change it myself. Luckily, my husband shares that obsession with me.

8) I count in my head to the rhythm of whatever is going on at the time. Walking - I am counting my steps. Chewing - I am counting each time my jaws close. There is no purpose to this counting. It’s not like I keep track “I chewed that bite of food 20 times” or “It is exactly 15 steps from my chair to the office door.” It’s just random and the counting begins anew with the next rhythm I encounter. Embarrassingly, this counting even happens during intimate moments with my husband. I laughed so hard during Along Came Polly when he shouted “50!”, simply because I could relate.

9) I like to tickle people (my husband and kids) but I HATE to be tickled. Seriously… if you try to tickle me, be prepared to endure some sort of physical injury due to my thrashing as I escape your reach.

10) I must re-make the bed before I get into it every night. Sheets and blankets must be adjusted and straight; pillows must be flipped and fluffed just right. And there must be a bottle of water on my nightstand before I get into bed. Even if I don't drink much of it, I might just wake up and be so dehydrated that I need to drink the whole bottle so it must be there waiting.

PS - Before posting this comment, it originally included 12 points. Upon proofreading, I figured out a way to combine a few so that there would only be 10. Otherwise, I would have had to come up with 3 more and seem that much more crazy just so there would be 15. (refer to point #8.) lol
Beverly Miller - December 30th, 2013 at 12:59 PM
Your (PS) really made it 11. Bwahahaha.
Lori - December 30th, 2013 at 3:08 PM
I loved this. Especially the "counting during intimacy". Oh. My. Stars. Funny.
LaDonna - December 30th, 2013 at 3:16 PM
This sounds just.like.me!!!
JennyMSmith - December 13th, 2011 at 12:47 PM
1. When I get a new pair/package of socks, I immediately put a red dot (with a Sharpie) on the right sock. The socks must then be kept in pairs, and only the socks with the red dots can be worn on the right foot.

2. I am terrified of playing Hide-and-Seek or tag with my children. I noticed this when my oldest was about 2. I feel a panic attack starting when I realize that they just might catch me. You say "ankle biters" like it can't happen...

3. I have an Excel obsession. Everything that I can possibly think of in my life that can be put on an Excel spreadsheet is on one. If there isn't something immediately obvious that can be quantified/analyzed on a spreadsheet, I will think about it until I figure out some way to put it on a spreadsheet to "analyze" it.

4. The sound of my cat giving himself a bath makes me want to vomit. I yell at him until he stops (momentarily) and then he starts again and the cycle repeats itself. Eventually, I throw something in his general direction and he runs off to bathe in another room.

5. Speaking of bathing, I cannot stand to take baths. The thought of soaking in my own filth and dead skin cells disgusts me like no other. If I can't take a shower, I'll wait until I can rather than take a bath. My kids love to take baths, but when they're done, I make them immediately take a shower to "get clean." (But for some reason, swimming in a pool or soaking in a hot tub doesn't bother me.)

There are many more, but these are the main ones that haven't been mentioned yet.
Corinne - December 13th, 2011 at 12:52 PM
Alright I will air my quirks especially after reading the "I love to smell wet cloths" and "I think every stranger walk into church is a gunmen." LOL

Quirk One: I love to drown my Oreos in water until they are soggy. I am embarrassed by this so only my hubby is allowed to see this action. Gross I know! This probably happens because my stomach does not agree with milk. Several years later my mom called me out of the blue stated my sister pick up my habit whom never seen me eaten Oreos. Must be in the DNA.

Quirk Two: I absolutely will NOT eat any form of beans. The texture makes me gag.

Quirk Three: I enjoyed popping my husband's pimples. Yes gross.

; )
Damon - December 13th, 2011 at 1:07 PM
Reading these comments may have finally convinced me that women REALLY know how to multi-task whereas men do not. With all the smelling, counting (letters, vowels, consonants, numbers, etc), clothing texture analyzing, and trying to spy the multitude of murderers lurking in any number of locations I'm truly amazed that all of these thoughts occur in the midst of everything else and yet everything still gets done! But since so few men have actually admitted they have quirks, I'll list a few of my own.

1. I have a stomach of steel, but the sound of someone flossing their teeth turns my stomach. I have to leave the room.

2. I am obsessed with hydration. Eight glasses a day is not a recommendation, it's a law. If I don't drink at least that much I feel like I'm going to wither up like a prune. I constantly ask my son if he is drinking enough water and make him drink even if he says he isn't thirsty.

3. I must have music playing loud enough at dinner where I can't hear food smacking across the table but not loud enough to prevent conversation.

4. I can remember numbers very easily but often struggle with names, events, or places. I can talk with a person 10 times before I finally remember their name, but re-calling an old phone number or the exact amount of what something cost comes naturally.
Trace - December 13th, 2011 at 1:17 PM
OK, I shared this with you on Facebook, but the more I thought about it, the more weird I think it is, so it deserves to be shared ON THE BLOG ITSELF for posterity. And it is this: I can't write anything if someone is looking over my shoulder. That goes for anything. Grocery lists. Birthday cards. This blog entry. If someone is watching me, I literally can't think of the next word, and I get physically anxious. Yet another reason for a closed-in study! Like you, I hate noise when I'm writing. So working from home, in a room that's open to the living area/TV/gaming system, and having a spouse who feels free to interrupt at any time or loudly do the dishes in the next room, not to mention four noisy kids... well, now that I write it, I wonder how I ever get any work done!
Heather - December 13th, 2011 at 1:24 PM
I laughed out loud at this --the sleep nazi thing is so me. I swear, I start developing facial tics when it gets past bedtime. We once invited some friends to come over and watch HALF of the Superbowl, so we could still get the kids to bed on time. Sleep is just not something I can roll with.

My other quirk is that I have serious, debilitating problems ordering in a restaurant. I have to be the last one to order -- always -- and I like to take a little survey to see what everyone else is having before I commit to a meal. Totally not sure why ordering food feels like I'm deciding the fate of the universe, but there we are.

It was good to read this -- I love that I am not alone in my crazy.
Anonymous for obvious reasons - December 13th, 2011 at 1:31 PM
okay, this is nasty, but... it's bad enough when your around someone that's feeling "a little gassy," but sometimes I get completely grossed out thinking about this one thing. If I can smell it, and it came from their behind, then that might mean their "butt particles" have now gone up my nose and are inside my body. Can there be germs in there??? I need to know.
Dori - December 13th, 2011 at 1:33 PM
Ok my turn.I too shared it on FB, but I need to share it here.. some freedom in throwing out the weird .. this is me... That is just the way it is.
1. I eat the middle of the Oreo out and put the cookies back in the box. This only happens once a month when I have to have Oreos and I never lick the filling, I just pull it off, but there you have it. I will also only eat off the same row. In my head this is being thoughtful to those that like the cookie and the filling...unless they get there too late.
B. I never follow up with the same letter/ alphabet ...but the order is the same. I will occasionally switch it up because I do not like to put myself in any kind of box.

I have to make sure the door is locked....like a crazy person. This came from my dad. He worked at a prison. We lived in a prison....yeah, made for great stories. I also think someone who can not be reached by phone ( mostly my husband) because he did not call before he leaves work, must be dead on the side of the road, or in the hospital with amnesia, and he will hate being called John Doe because most likely his wallet will have fallen outside the car into the brush and no one will find it and I will raise 3 kids alone....that goes on for a quick half minute..and then I turn it off.

I crack up when someone falls, stubs their toe, makes that grimacing in pain face... I have to apologize because I am laughing... Especially to my husband...but I have to laugh it out or I can not be of any help because I will fall into a fit of giggles...clumsy people beware!

The chewing of the food with the mouth open will make me want to cut you! Can not handle it...and I tolerate it from my kids least of all. Poor loves. I get that crazy eyed look.

I can not stand when people chew their fork.. makes me want to jump out of my skin. or scrape the bowls with utensils. So I test the bowls I buy to make sure they do not clink too much.. sad and true.

I also had to go over the spelling fails that made it to Facebook... there will probably be more and I will fight to correct those as well.
Holly M. - December 13th, 2011 at 1:35 PM
I think I must be a man trapped in a woman's body. I am just a very bottom line person who is not a perfectionist and doesn't want to be one. I don't do details. I like like the end result. So here are mine.

1. I dislike it immensely when people drive below the speed limit in the left lane of the road. Just move over! And if I am following a little closely, don't slow down. I'm not trying to punish you. I just need to make an appointment for work or a kid appointment. Geez, just get over.

2. I am not a fan of people who check out of the grocery store and write a check from scratch.

3. I am also a huge sleep nazi with my kids and I. I wasn't scheduled or structured before having kids, but mine are such good sleepers because of their schedule.

4. I notice grammar and punctuation mistakes like crazy. Hope I don't have any in this reply. :)

5. I am way too literal. Age 5: Mom, how can the Easter bunny deliver the baskets when it only has paws and cannot open the door??!

6. I feel silly for not caring about even and odd numbers or food noises or cooking perfection or perfection for that matter, at all. :) Except in my work!
Andrea - December 13th, 2011 at 1:50 PM
I share several of these here quirks, but one not mentioned above is the sensation factor. If someone high fives me, I must have the same force applied to my other hand. If I get bumped in the right shoulder, I must find a way to get lefty hit next. Slap me in the face, and you might as well do it on the other side, but please don't really slap me in the face because I would cry.
Lisa - December 13th, 2011 at 2:15 PM
I spend countless hours tking words and rearranging the letters in both alphabetical order from a to z and then alphabetical order from z to a...in my head....all.of.the.time......

for(for/rof) example(aeemlmpx/xpmleea) - jen(ejn/nje) hatmaker (aaehkmrt/trmkheaa)

Seems easy when you see the words types in front of you, but the real skill is when you can do it in your head, while still having a converstion with the person in front of you....

My kids will even call me when they are with a group of their friends just to have their friends throw out words for me to "alphabetize"

Yeah, I'm the cool mom...not...

Sarah - December 14th, 2011 at 7:56 AM
I think I must have the same type of order-seeking brain...I count the syllables in words and sentences, and I've been doing it so long that I can do it really fast. The first sentence of what I just typed has 14 syllables, and the second one has 28 syllables.
Ashley - October 7th, 2013 at 10:24 AM
I do a similar thing. I count the numbers of letters in words, sentences, etc. I can do it really fast, too. :)
Marcy - December 30th, 2013 at 3:56 PM
Just thinking about this confuses me! Lordy, you people must be geniuses. I can't even alphabetize my kids' names...just kidding...
Cara Rahm - December 13th, 2011 at 2:40 PM
Here's another: If I am purchasing something with cash, I MUST MAKE EXACT CHANGE or die trying. If it costs $9.99 and I have the right amount of coins in the bottom of the purse/wallet, then I WILL get them for you. I CAN'T give you a ten dollar bill. If the self-check out machine asks for 17 pennies, I will take 3 minutes retrieving them all and putting them in the slot one at a time. If you are behind me in line and act like you'd like to punch me in the head, I don't even care, man.
Not telling - December 13th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
This has given me the best laugh in a long time! Here's mine:
1) TV noises at night. My husband comes from the World's Most Avid Movie Watching Family. And no film is complete without loud surround sound, right? Wrong! Especially wrong at 8pm at night. You're going to wake up the kid! Apparently I have "super-sonic hearing". No chance that the TV actually is too loud. Nope- It's obviously me. I mean, surround sound vibrations that make their way up to the second floor of the house and shake the walls couldn't possibly mean the volume is too high. When the war scenes from Pearl Harbor or Band of Brothers come to life upstairs I think, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the volume could be a "tad" to high. For the love of humanity, the neighbors, myself and all that is sane, please keep the volume down.
2) I really need things done in a reasonable time after I ask them to be done. I mean, if I wanted the trash taken out 2 days from now, I'd ask two days from now. If I wanted you to come get dressed 30 minutes from now, I'd ask you in 30 minutes. If I really really really wanted you to stop screaming, jumping, dancing or twirling on me in 10 minutes as opposed to say, NOW, then I'd ask you in 10 minutes.
3) Bath towels must be folded just so. First in half, then in thirds (toward the center). It is totally not okay to fold it any other way. The towel will render useless and cease to appropriately dry it's intended person if it is not folded correctly and waiting on the shelf in said manner. After 5 years of marriage my husband finally totally understands and agrees :)
4) I hate clutter! I hate messes. I feel freaked out and disgusting if my house is dirty. But what's worse, if my lack of control over the garage. That's my husband's "workshop". I tried the same rule some parents use, "If you want to live in my house, you'll keep your room clean. I don't care if it's "your" room. This is my house." Apparently that doesn't work on husbands? But WHY must there be so much stuff!?!? Aren't garages for storing, gasp, cars? Here's a novel idea. Can I park my car in the garage? No? Oh that's right. Garages are for storing up all the junk we don't need now, but will definitely need in the next 10 years. I feel a freak out moment coming on just by thinking of this again....
5) I am so not a "go with the flow" type of person. Last minute what???? No, those words are not allowed in my house. There are things called PLANS people. My husbands family is pretty laid back. Usually we don't even know until the day before Thanksgiving what time we're getting together... oh, and that's an "optional" start time. Somewhere in the invisible ink it also says "or arrive an hour later if desired". Plans are biblical people! "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord". And if you read between the lines it clearly states that plans are an integral part of every day life and should be adhered to strictly with utmost concern for all parties involved. Wait, you don't have that translation? :)
Tom - December 13th, 2011 at 3:09 PM
Two more - in addition to the chocolate chips. I think in bullet points. I hate doing puzzles - any jigsaw puzzle with more than 10 pieces and I can't do it. But give me a dishwasher and an entire dinner full of dishes to fit in and I'm up to the challenge.
Angie - December 13th, 2011 at 3:35 PM
I cannot sleep in any environment alone. Thankfully as a wife and mother of three I don't have to very often. But if I am in my house alone overnight I set up traps like the kid from the movie "Home Alone". Some see this movie as a Christmas classic. I see it as a how-to video. I have been known to set breakables under windows, move large furniture in front of doors, leave TVs on all hours in empty rooms, hide cordless phones in a closets, and tie bells on window locks. I can spend hours- it's okay because I probably won't be sleeping anyway. Related: the thought of violence makes me sick to my stomache so my safety plans never involve a gun, kitchen knife, or baseball bat. If I am in trouble, I have practiced playing dead. Oddly, the crazy goes away if there is one other sole with me, regardless of how young or helpless.

After typing it out- it sounds less "quirky" and more "therapy issue"......

btw- right with you on the temperature issue. I check with my kids constantly and keep extra jackets/hats in my car. Fun Blog!
Amy Baker - December 13th, 2011 at 6:54 PM
It makes me ridiculously crazy when there a little scraps of paper (empty sugar packets, straw wrappers, napkins) left on the table in a restaurant for any amount of time when I am eating...I am the one who has to make sure they are all gathered and placed in the first dish to go back to the kitchen...and ohhh, the horror if one gets missed.
Sarah - December 13th, 2011 at 8:31 PM
I'm very green - ride my bike and walk when I can, clean w/ vinegar and water, line-dry clothes, buy used, use canvas bags when shopping, wash and re-use ziploc bags, make my own yogurt in glass jars to avoid buying all those plastic tubs, etc. But when we finish a big jar of peanut butter, I absolutely cannot rinse it out and recycle it. Something about the smell of peanut butter mixed with warm tap water makes me gag, and I can't throw it in the recycling bin while it's dirty, so I chuck it in the trash. I love peanut butter in all forms, I just can't stand the watery peanut butter liquid. Blech!
Jennifer - December 13th, 2011 at 11:01 PM
I am the exact same way!!! I feel bad throwing away the jar but cannot force myself to clran it out, lol!!
Lindsay - December 30th, 2013 at 8:56 PM
Me three!! I justify this by telling myself that the amount of water I would waste washing it is equal to the carbon footprint of putting it in a landfill ;)
Kelly - December 13th, 2011 at 9:06 PM
I am passionately against printed paper towels. Show me the moron who said, "Oh, we wipe our spit and old food on these... let's make them seasonal!" The white ones are just fine, thankyouverymuch. Plus, I just think they look better on the counter. :)

I've only admitted this one other time (to my mother, who is obligated to love me anyway), but I hate, hate, HATE putting trashbags in the dumpster/compactor at my apartment complex. Every time I open the door to throw in a bag, I'm convinced there's gonna be a severed human head waiting for me, like some bad episode of Law and Order. My solution is to close my eyes as I open the door, throw the bag in, and run away from the dumpster like the total looney toon that I am.

Hey, I feel strangely cleansed. :)
Kate - December 30th, 2013 at 6:14 PM
Oh, Kelly, all this time I thought I was alone in my certainty that every time I go to the trash can, there is some victim of some kind of horrible crime waiting in there for me. What would be the odds of that really happening? Doesn't matter. And we also share the same way of coping with this "quirk" - if we ever move into the same apartment complex, we'll be able to recognize each other right away.
Christa - December 13th, 2011 at 10:03 PM
I can't even remember why this started, but I've done this for as long as I can remember: if I say or if I hear someone else say, "Excuse me, please", I have to say "rabba dabba doo" in my head. True story. So??
Melissa - December 31st, 2013 at 8:23 AM
That's so random! It totally made me laugh out loud :)
cissa - December 13th, 2011 at 10:05 PM
OK, I am in :)
1. I never use the first stall in a public restroom. I figure they are always the most used.
2. I too am blessed with the knowledge of how to load a dishwasher and have been known to reload dishes in other people's homes when they aren't looking :)
3. I laugh a lot! It doesn't take much to make me laugh, and it is just fun!
4. I have a Pollyanna syndrome. I like to find the positive in every situation, which I admit can be annoying, but I can't really help it.

Thank you for the laughs! My favorite so far is the woman who is so easily scared that her husband made up a whistle to warn of his coming! :) I am easily scared, but that one just cracked me up!
Jenn H (not THE Jen H, another one) - December 30th, 2013 at 11:56 AM
Cissa- you may never see this since your comment was from 2 years ago. But I HAD to share this with you!!!! I think about the logic behind which stall in a restroom is the best bet ALL the TIME (my quirk contribution) and I found out the cleanest is the FIRST ONE!!! Read this: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/health_tips/Use_the_First_Stall.php
Rachel - December 30th, 2013 at 12:53 PM
I too skip the first stall, and usually go to the last. Totally freaking out and re thinking the first stall....
Cathy - December 30th, 2013 at 2:03 PM
I LOL'd at #1 because I ALWAYS use the first stall because so many people think like you so nobody ever uses the first one!! (Reverse Psychology I guess!)
kerstin - December 30th, 2013 at 8:38 PM
We're related. I know it. I can tell by our quirks. LOL
Mary - December 30th, 2013 at 9:59 PM
The first stall is actually the cleanest. Everybody else is skipping it too.
Rachel - December 13th, 2011 at 10:15 PM
I hate tongue fuzz. You know... the residue left on your tongue that you try to brush away each morning? I frantically brush my tongue each morning to try to rid myself of the fuzz. Then... and this is where it gets weird... I wipe my tongue with toilet paper.

My husband and I frequently argue about this. He says I lick the toilet paper. I DO NOT LICK TOILET PAPER!

I gently wipe my tongue with toilet paper. See? It's different, see?!!! (Semantics...)

Do I win?
Bec - December 14th, 2011 at 7:45 AM
I love your blog. This post is great.

Kristen - December 14th, 2011 at 9:00 AM
I have this thing about my feet. I don't mind foot massages, pedicures, etc during the waking hours, but so help me if the hubster accidentally touches my feet while I'm sleeping. I can go from a dead sleep to raging lunatic in seconds over a foot invasion.
Jenny Burke - December 14th, 2011 at 12:53 PM
*First, now I remember that you DID NOT say goodbye to us when we left Ethiopia in July! You said, "Our flights are around the same time-- we'll see you at the airport."
*Next, I believe you and my mother would be best friends regarding the coat/blanket/temperature issue. My entire life growing up, and still to this day, even though I am 39, she was/is always talking about zipping up, putting up my hood, and , "Oh, I put the wool blanket on your bed in case you get cold." This, in addition to the fact that she keeps another blanket at the foot of each bed. It drives her NUTS that I let my boys out of the house without a coat or let them wear just a sweatshirt in winter. I figure if they are cold, they will put on a coat. If not, the cool air will, as my grandfather would say, "Blow the stink off of them."
*Lastly, I always wear shoes or slippers or flip flops. Always. In the house or out. I think the reason is that I don't want to feel the crumbs/dog hair/dust/dirt that may be on the floor because then I would feel the extreme need to vacuum or scrub. Everyone else MUST take off thier shoes when they come in the house, but not me.

Brandi - December 14th, 2011 at 2:05 PM
Oh to let out the crazy.....

First of all, my online punctuation SUCKS. I use exclamation points like they are going out of style! I have to include at least 100....because for some odd reason, I think it makes more sense and sounds more like talking... and I have to include :) when at all possible. To the point that I feel ridiculous when I realize I have 3-5 :) in one comment. Oh well. I also DESPISE LOL. Seriously? LOL? Feels like I am 12 years old. Also, my laugh is less of a cute "oh I just laughed out loud" and more of a manly guffaw that everyone within earshot just turned to see. For this reason, a friend and I developed our own abbreviation, using BOL (Burst out laughing) and yes I realize that creating our own lists of online abbreviations is even MORE 12 year oldish than actually typing LOL.

I do NOT think there will be a serial killer behind my shower curtain....I HOPE there will be. Yes, I know this makes me weird. I have been taking Krav Maga (Israeli hand-to-hand combat) classes for about 6 months and I am just itching for someone to try to attack me. I regularly plan out how I will kick someone's ass. I also watch movies and it pisses me off how easily women get dragged away. I am always thinking about what they SHOULD have done and how I would protect them if I was there :)

I type REALLY loudly. I don't know why. I was skyping with a friend who couldn't even stand the fact that I was writing at the same time b/c my typing is ridiculously loud. I think I type with the same emotion I write in!!

The shower is my sacred place. It should be DARK. (no lights for as long as I can remember). and HOT. You will often find me on my knees in my shower... or hear the phrase "when I was in the shower yesterday, Jesus said...." I also brush my teeth in the shower. I believe this is the most efficient.

Efficiency is important to me. If you can combine two things, you should. It would be wrong not to do so. I always have a book or project in my car. Wasting time at an appointment or even at a red light is unacceptable to me.

I am constantly figuring out how many people I could feed with that money. After doing a fundraiser for a village in Uganda where we could feed an orphan for $0.17 EVERYTHING became divisible by that. Now, it might be "I could buy a cow for that amount" ($200) or I could fund a rescue from a brothel ($1100) or buy a mosquito net ($7)....anything is figured based on do I need it? Or what could I buy for that amount? SUPER annoying to my less "orphan friendly" friends.

oh yeah...and I love K$sha. My kids adore BLOW. I grew up NEVER listening to one secular song and now my 5 year old's two favorite songs are "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Boom Boom Pow". :-)
talia - December 14th, 2011 at 2:34 PM
I spewed (ick, what a gross word) coffee everywhere reading this. You are hysterical! I share your quirk towards sleep, temperature and pranks, just didn't really know it until reading your post. Strange. I'm no kid anymore. Nothing like learning new things about yourself....

Love this post. Sharing with friends who are in need of a good laugh! Thank you for keeping it real and sharing!
Sheryl - December 14th, 2011 at 7:21 PM
I am in total agreement with the sleep and temperature fixations - in addition to the aversion to lots of LOUD NOISES (see Brick in Anchorman).

In addition to not being able to write while the family is pelting me with requests and questions in general, I also can't edit a freaking photograph in the same situation. I was quite surprised when I realized this is case! And here I thought I'd found a hobby I could work on while everyone was still awake!

To top off the neurotic cake, I am a total freak about cleaning up after raw meat food prep... particularly our feathered friend the chicken. I will wipe down every conceivable surface with sani-wipes - and even humans who remain stationary too long. YES, chicken germs do JUMP. YES, they can leak through GLASS. And, YES, it WILL kill you so move aside while I pull out the flamethrower.

Jen, do you make hats? Anyone in your family? Not unheard of... harkening back to earlier times when Willy Blacksmith actually smithed things.
Allison - December 14th, 2011 at 9:19 PM
Awkward situational humor is horrible. I cannot take it. I squirm, avert my eyes, take unnecessary bathroom breaks. Everyone who's cool liked The Office. I tried to, but I could not get watch a whole episode without being completely stressed out. There. I said it.

Also, I get bothered when my windshield wipers aren't in time with the music in my car. OCD? Maybe. But I'd be lying if I said I don't find myself willing, yes urging, those little black blades to sync just a tad slower/faster to keep the beat. I may have actually turned them off, possibly violating the laws of common sense and safety because I just couldn't deal. Maybe. Or I just turn off the radio, but then I have to sing with no accompaniment and who wants that?
Amber - December 14th, 2011 at 9:55 PM
Are you my twin? Number 1, 3, and 4 TO A "T". I feel so much better. Thanks!
Anon - December 14th, 2011 at 10:40 PM
I love to smell my own gas. When I am alone, I will fart then turn completely around and bend over so that my face is now where my butt was and I will try to inhale the entire fart because I don't want it to go to waste.
Jen - December 30th, 2013 at 6:53 PM
Melissa - December 30th, 2013 at 8:38 PM
That was hilarious! My 6 and 5 year olds couldn't stop laughing.
renee - December 30th, 2013 at 9:34 PM
Tesa - December 30th, 2013 at 11:10 PM
Oh, sick!!
Susie - December 15th, 2011 at 8:38 AM
I have to add this, because I hate when I leave a comment, then think of something else to add...>
I HATE that people use less and fewer incorrectly!
Especially TBS "More movie, Less commercials" that is soooooo wrong, it's fewer commercials FEWER
I even wrote them an email about how they are single-handedly ruining the youth of our country and making us complacent and lazy. It all starts with grammar folks. Once the rules of grammar no longer apply, it'll be chaos!
Also when people use "seen" for "saw" I want to smack them in the mouth.
Abby - December 15th, 2011 at 10:54 PM
I cannot, for the life of me, visualize. I was a gymnast when I was young and every time I tried to visualize a routine before competing, the "me" in my brain would just lose control and do crazy things ... like let go of the uneven bars and simply fly away into oblivion or hang on too tight and spin 'round and 'round and 'round. Later, I was a hurdler in high school and it only got worse ... the hurdler in my mind veering off into another runner's lane, tripping her, and then heading for the grassy lawn in the center of the track. Go figure when my coaches said I had talent but not the right mind for star athlete status ...
Donna - December 31st, 2013 at 5:07 AM
Too funny! Love it!!!
Alanna - December 15th, 2011 at 10:58 PM
I can't handle people sneezing. They MUST warn me first... the longer the warning, the better. Sometimes I will leave the room ahead of time. The sound of sneezing, especially loud sneezing, frightens me to pieces. (I sneeze like a mouse.)

Everyone has to stop talking, moving, thinking, breathing... and all sound must completely stop when we are on a bridge or in traffic. I am in the process of defying death, and absolutely NO ONE can interrupt that moment of sheer panic. My skin starts prickling and my hands sweat profusely when I am on a bridge or in traffic, especially over water. The Mississippi River is the worst river in the universe I have ever driven across.

Please, for the love of all things good and holy, do not swallow. Ever. I cannot stand the sound... especially when you have just taken a drink. The need for hydration can wait until I leave the room. Oh, and do not drink out of my drink. It is rendered useless now no matter if I am truly dying of thirst. I will just call it quits and go see Jesus before I take a drink after you or allow you to have mine.

Everything absolutely must be symmetrical. The furniture MUST line up exactly evenly across the lines on the floor or in between the two walls. I have a small seizure everytime I see my bedroom because the window is located improperly on the wall.

If I go to bed at 11 and get up at 7, I think I've had enough sleep. If I go to bed at 10 and get up at 6, I have missed HOURS of sleep that I NEEDED. If I go to bed at 12 and get up at 7:30, I'm rested. If I'm going to bed anytime between 10 and 11 p.m., I cannot get a good night's sleep, ESPECIALLY if I look at the clock. Before 10 or after 11, and the world is at peace again. But I absolutely cannot STAND to look at the clock in between those times. (I.HAVE.NO.IDEA.)
Alanna - December 15th, 2011 at 11:11 PM
Also, every time I brush my teeth and it looks like someone else has used my toothpaste, I wonder if my husband is poisoning me through my toothpaste. Then I recall how that would be impossible because HIS quirk is that the tube MUST ABSOLUTELY ALWAYS be straight. There can be NO toothpaste left at the bottom of the tube, and it must be squished perfectly like it was when it was new, except completely flat at the bottom where all the used toothpaste is now gone. I have been known to throw out an entirely brand new tube of toothpaste because it appeared someone else may have used some. And I have secretly squished my husband's toothpaste tube in the middle just to see what he would do when he found it.

We are nut jobs! Ha!! :)

What's that song, "Crazy Like You" ... just make sure you find someone crazy like you. Done.
Danielle Diehl - December 16th, 2011 at 9:11 PM
hey, I just found your blog. I was having dinner with a friend and complaining about our culture (and my own tendency) to buy buy buy to celebrate Christmas. I told her I wanted to chuck it all and take my kids to India to work in an orphanage every Christmas from now on. She said, "you should read Jen Hatmaker." Ha!
I am the opposite of you when it comes to kids and body temperature. Mine are always the ones underdressed for the weather. But I live in Chicago, where I consider the ability to endure cold weather in a fleece a real virtue. I even close the vents in their room during winter, as I think a cold room promotes sleep. Oh, and i'm obsessed with making sure my kids poop. Isn't that weird?? My second boy was always (and is always...) constipated. I research the different fiber gummies and laxatives for kids. My poor children...
AmyE - December 16th, 2011 at 9:33 PM
I LOVE to finish things up ... lotion, wrapping paper, leftovers, condiments, a bar of soap. I'm especially excited if I've had "it" for a long time, and finally get to finish it. I will even use lotions or shampoos that I don't really like just so I can finish them up.

And I'm with you 100% on the pranks. Everyone who knows me ... knows I might kill you if you try one on me or my kids. I also agree about the noise ... I can't even make a to do list with too much noise ... which explains my lack of productivity around the house.

Angie - December 17th, 2011 at 6:51 AM
From Labor Day to Memorial Day I am obsessed with body temperature as well. Everyone in our house MUST wear socks at all times. I am convinced if their feet are cold they will catch pneumonia and surely meet an early demise. Our 3 six year olds get socks for every birthday and holiday. Or if I see them on sale at Target. They have at least 60 pair each. I need a support group.
DeeAnna - December 17th, 2011 at 7:55 PM
You are my new best friend. For realz. I just need for you to call me so we can discuss our quirks for a few hours, or all day, and in my case perhaps just shy of a week. Here are just a sample....I could NOT possibly wear unmatched pj's...the thought of it gives me a case of the dry heaves...Oh and I AM Rain Man when it comes to driving...or riding in the car with my teenage sons....I close my eyes, say Hail Marys, (I'm not even Catholic) try not to climb out the window. I am a cave woman and cannot possibly understand how a plane stays in the air or a boat floats...best to stay very far away from those death traps...oh I could go onn and onnnn....
Brad Zimmer - December 21st, 2011 at 4:44 PM
Okay, so my wife made me read your posting about NOISE POLLUTION, and yes,it is TERRIBLE! I always joke with her that if I signed up for the Marines, I could pass all the torture tests until they played loud or repetitive music. When I heard our four year old daughter sing "Mary had a little lamb" over and over, without finishing it, I finally sang "IT'S FLEECE WAS WHITE AS SNOW!!!" To make matters worse, we have three kids and I am working to become a professional composer; when I come home from work with a song in my head, I literally call ahead and beg my wife to stop please stop all music and television and let me have the computer. And still I usually can't finish because the kids start fighting or crying. To top it all, my boss, with a loud obnoxious yankee voice loves to hear himself talk. I truly think I would quit smoking if it didn't mean giving up my ten minute quiet times...provided it isn't raining on the metal roof.
Thank you for posting. And you are not alone.
cori - December 22nd, 2011 at 9:32 AM
I can so out-weird your list! I have so many quirks, I'm wondering if they're not quirks any more, maybe someone out there has named a disorder in my honor. :)

I'm totally with you on the complete quiet thing while writing. I totally write whatever I hear. If one of my people is even just sitting next to me, staring at me while I'm typing, I can't focus. They've even resorted to writing what they want/need on little sticky notes and sliding them within my range of vision - this too, ruins my train of thought.

And along the lines of noise pollution...all I have to say is YES! YES! YES!!! I'm so there. Except I have this other little thing that happens when there is too much noise going on, I start getting VERY confused. It's funny you mention RainMan because that is exactly what I start to do. I start hitting my head and calling out "V.E.R.N - V.E.R.N". It's very apropos. I can't think...I literally cannot but words together to make a sentence. I have this 'gift' of being able to hear every word being spoken around me. So in essence, I'm not really paying attention to any one conversation, but all of them. I'm a blast to talk to. It's also very MONK-ish. He likes to say "it's a gift and a curse - but mostly a gift". How I relate. :)

3. If you scare me - I will hurt you. Seriously. Even if you're my child. If someone jumps out behind a bush or a wall or a door, I start hitting them with my elbows. Why my elbows you might ask, because they're as pointy as a nail and when inserted between shoulder blades, they get the message across loud and clear. Don't even get me started on a tickle fight.

4. I can't small talk. My mind goes blank, I start to stutter, I get all flushed. It's bad. I can talk one on one for hours. But put me in a room with 5 other people and I'd rather blend into the wall. It's so bad that my dearest friend sent me a book for Christmas entitled: "Conversation Tips For the Small Talk Challenged". That's true friend.

5. Lastly, I get paranoid. VERY easily. All you need to know is right here: http://www.mommystories.blogspot.com/2004/07/just-call-me-paranoid.html

I love your blog. I love your heart. I love your realness and your love of the Lord.
May the Lord bless you and keep you

Carolyn - December 27th, 2011 at 2:15 PM
For pt number 4, have you ever looked at introvert/extrovert personality types? Reading this hilarious article http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/ and the book Introverts in the Church have really blessed me this year.

I have the same 2-4, so as Luna from Harry potter would say, "you're just as sane as I am.". Haha
1 hot mama - December 22nd, 2011 at 3:02 PM
I don't want to scare you, but we may have been separated at birth. :-)
Jessica - December 24th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
I feel the same about the noise, unless it's noise I'm making. I must tell my husband to turn down the volume on the TV at least 25 times a day. He could mute it and I'd tell him to turn it down. I wish I knew how to turn down the volume on him doing dishes and laundry - but then I just remember I'm lucky to have a husband who does the dishes and laundry, and try to ignore it :)

I hate when I'm on the phone with someone, and another person tries to talk to me in person. I literally can't hear either of them when they do that, and then have to get both of them to stop talking.
Mindi - December 27th, 2011 at 2:48 PM
1. I am obsessed with the number 3 and judge the virtue of a task by my ability to "reach 3"; I force it if I have to (numbers divisible by 3 are lovely, too). For example, my bar exam number was 1981. Convinced I would fail if I did not reach 3, I devised the following formula: 1plus 9 equals 10 minus 8 equals 2 plus 1 equals 3. Voila! Weirdo. My son was born just before midnight on November 27. I was panicked he would be born after midnight because 2 plus 7 equals 9, a number divisible by 3. Like several number freaks above, I am not in a career related to math, for which this might be an asset. I'm an attorney.

2. I memorize the license plate numbers of cars with suspicious looking people in them and quiz myself on them. I watch the news and scan the paper for any crimes that might have involved these vehicles. I grew up on a dirt road, and our house was robbed three times growing up. I started doing this for all vehicles on the dirt road way back when. Though 16 years have passed since I lived on that dirt road, the quirk persists.

3. I have buried my loved ones mentally more times than I can count. Pre cell phone days, when my parents would come home later than expected (why was I the one waiting up??), I would convince myself they died in a car accident on the way home. I'd have their burial clothes, caskets, and speakers picked out by the time they got home (safely). If I can't reach my husband on his cell phone, I'll invent a cause of death. Same thing: pick out the burial clothes (and funeral suit for me), find a way to break the news to his parents and our son, pick out the city I'm moving to because it would be too painful to stay here, etc. Crazy irrational.
Cyndi - December 31st, 2011 at 12:42 PM
Jen, I've just discovered you...and I am so blessed that I did. This post made me laugh because I'm right with you on some of this! I too am a noise freak, which is unfortunate, because we are missionaries in what I am convinced is the loudest place on the planet. I dread anything that even closely resembles a holiday because I know that it will be fireworks and loud (really bad!) music and horns honking and people outside until all hours just being...loud. Even my anti-anxiety medicine doesn't take care of this one!

I have been a complete freak about my kids and their sleep habits since child #1 entered this world almost 20 years ago. Poor guy is a junior in college and I still call him to see if he's sleeping like he should be. For future reference-it is not appreciated. -_-

I cannot handle goodbyes, and living on the mission field is pretty much one big goodbye. I avoid the person who is leaving for weeks ahead of their departure, just to not have to actually say the word "goodbye". And it doesn't have to be someone I was close to-we've just said goodbye to so many people over the years that I can't handle it for anything!

Thank you for blessing my day. Have a wonderful New Year!
Brandi Mcfadden - December 31st, 2011 at 3:00 PM
I wrote a blog post about my 5 freakish things! www.mcfaddengirls.blogspot.com
Haley - January 2nd, 2012 at 9:40 PM
I think we are the same person- except you are an AMAZING writer and hilarious!! I also avoid goodbyes at all costs and HATE pranks. For a long time I coudn't watch "The Office" because I felt SO BAD for Michael Scott, it was like watching a prank show and I wanted to save him from humiliation.

I LOVE your blog. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. My little sister is adopted through foster care and has lots of questions/insecurity and I read the last like 10 blogs outloud to her (and my mom) and we were all three laughing our heads off. And I think it was good for my sister to hear about another family in a similary situation. Annnnnnd she has a crush on your son in the video fyi. Everytime I mention your blog she bursts into a wide smile and blushes. *sigh. She is such a drama queen! ;)

My husband and I have a little girl and are discussing adoption- we have our first informational meeting this month and we are SO EXCITED! Thank you for your blog, your honesty, and your awesomeness!
Krista - January 16th, 2012 at 5:28 AM
I assign gender and human personality to eeehhhverything. Spoons are female, grass is male. Forks and knives are both male, obviously. And incidentally, knife is really jealous of fork because spoon is into fork. Like, she hopes he proposes soon! Poor knife :( Sofas are female, carrots are male. Cars are either, depending on their headlights--- its all in "the eyes" how you can tell a female Honda from a male Dodge. (It's so bizarre and I can't even think of when I started doing it!)

 I'm also obsessed with names. As a kid, I kept name journals for all my Barbies. And my favorite baby doll I named Chevrolet. 

This is so cathartic! I'm typing in the middle of the night all my KAHH-raaazy mentalness! (iPhone just autocorrected that to "mental mess" which is EXACTLY what it is!!!! Go iPhone it's your birthday! You're smarter, than me!) 

I also can't EVEN function if the thermostat is set on an odd number. The hubby hates this! He's convinced the difference between 72 and 71 degrees is like $4 on the bill. Seriously??? And the $4 is totally worth it! 

I also have to press my car alarm button 3 times. It does its little mini-honk 3 times and I'm secure knowing I've overly locked my car!
Aly - December 30th, 2013 at 9:04 PM
I'm a 3 beeper too. I will give my husband "the look" until he beeps it 2 more times for me if he's locking the doors.
Heather - January 25th, 2012 at 11:58 AM
Wow--I love this post!!! I have to say that I TOTALLY relate! Since I've had kids, I have become such a sleep Nazi myself. I get angry inside when other particular people watch my kids and do not abide by the exact schedule! It's like a volcano erupting inside of me and I try so hard not to blow my top. I also can't handle when others put my dishes away and put them in the wrong places!! It drives me crazy and I will lose sleep on it until I fix it. Oh, and please wipe off your butter knives before you put them in the dish washer!!

Jen--I love reading your blog and your books! I've just recently been introduced to you and I can not tell you how similar we are! It is actually a relief to know that I'm not the only one in this world! Thank you for being an inspiration to me!
Lexie H - January 27th, 2012 at 11:56 AM
I simply love you. That's all. I wish I was your next door neighbor. Except that then there would be two of us, and no block needs or wants that. Not even in Austin!
Ron - February 22nd, 2012 at 10:50 AM
I can not help myself... I am sorry, truly. But ...supposably is a word. Despite what a spell-check might say, all major recognized dictionaries include the adverbial form of supposable (adj). So it is some thing that carried the quality of (adv form) the ability to be (adj form) supposed.nI really am sorry, I just can't help myself
Halli - July 28th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
I just discovered your blog and I love this one ti mademe laugh and now I have to share.

1. Toothpaste has to be squeezed from the bottom. My brother and I shared a bathroom and toothpaste. He would squeeze from the middle and it would drive me crazy! We eventually bought separate toothpaste! Also I brush my teeth in the shower and my toothbrush has to have a cap. I can't stand it if my toothbrush is "naked". One other thing I can't stand it when people swallow toothpaste. I could not be in the bathroom with my best friend while she brushed her teeth because she kept going until this wasn't any toothpaste left! Ugh! Spit and rinse, spit and rinse!

2. I need increments of 5. I have had friends that set their alarms on 6:32. What?!? Add 3 minutes or take 2 minutes away!

3. I hate wearing shoes and socks. I love going outside barefoot and will do so even in cold weather. I cannot wear socks to bed. I will end up taking them off in the middle of the night in a dead sleep. Also I must sleep with my Snuggie and my pillow cases have to be facing the right way and the tag must be on the inside of the pillow case.

4. Important dates (graduation, weddings, etc.) need to be on an even number or an increment of five. Otherwise it drives me crazy. When I get married the date will have to be even numbered.

5. I use...in every text at least once, sometimes twice. I use them in FB statuses and when I am writing papers. Love them...

6. I can make almost any situation into a FRIENDS reference. It's completely bizarre.

7. I remember names immediately. I will meet you once and not see you again for 4 months and I'll still remember your name. I think it is so weird so I will pretend not to remember it because I don't want you to think I'm some kind of crazy stalker.

8. I can't stand the sound of a metal fork scraping on a glass plate. It sends shivers up and down my spine and makes me want to vomit! Also I hate the words "moist" and "asphalt". Just thinking and typing those words make me want to gag.

9. I have to have background noise at all times. I sleep with a fan, I study with music, when I am alone in my home the TV is on whether I am watching it or not. Silence is NOT golden.

10. I cannot and will not use the first stall in a bathroom. Uh-uh, no way. I hate hand dryers and will go out of my way to use a paper towel. How am I supposed to get the door open after I have washed my hands if there is no paper towel? On the same lines...I will not high five. I work with kids and I have seen them do some completely disgusting things with their hands and then want a high five. I'm almost dry heaving just thinking about it. I will do a fist bump, but then will immediately use hand sanitizer afterwards.

11. I will watch the same move over and over and over again (I went to see The Hunger Games 5 times). I do the same thing with music. When I like something I will watch/listen/read it over and over again until everyone around me is sick of it. When I was five I watched The Neverending Story everyday. My dad stayed with me during the day because he worked nights. I drove him crazy...

12. My work space has to be neat and organized. Everything is labeled and has its own place. I will know if you have touched something. My clipboard is the same way. My house may be fralling apart at the seams, but my work place is neat!

Karla - January 2nd, 2014 at 2:26 AM
I remember names immediately too. My pastor-hubby forgets names of people he's known for years, never mind people he's just met. I remember names of people when I can't remember their faces even.
Skerrib - December 30th, 2013 at 11:35 AM
I freak out about life nearly every Thursday. Then by Friday I'm all sunshine and rainbows again.
elizabeth - December 30th, 2013 at 11:40 AM
My mother dropped me off at college by saying "i'm gonna run to walmart" and never returning. I get it.
Dawn - December 31st, 2013 at 12:13 PM
Oh this one makes me sad. :( and its funny too!
Cissy - January 4th, 2014 at 4:40 PM
I may have to use this....I have a daughter going to college in August.
Susanne K - December 30th, 2013 at 11:43 AM
my top 5
1.) I like all sorts of fruits but you'd better not mix them together on me, I will not eat fruit salad, fruit cocktail...not one bite
2.) I'm a noise pollution freak too...I like background noise ok but one weird toy going off in their closet or toy bucket and I lose it.
3.)also don't like pranks but love other funny things and people...just not Will Ferrell. please God no Will Ferrell
4.) I love all kinds of music w/ the exception of rap and heavy metal...put a rapper in a country song and I will turn it off immediately
5.) I love peppermint and chocolate but do not mix them together on me....never. Those are my top 5 but I have many more also.
Rebecca H - December 30th, 2013 at 11:45 AM
Choking. I am neurotically and acutely aware of the possibility that anyone besides myself could at any moment and without warning choke. The 1 year old on his minisculely-chopped up grapes, the dog on a banned-from-this-house rawhide, the husband on his cough drop.
"Sit at 90 degrees while you suck on that!"
"I can't believe you put that WHOLE orange slice in your mouth!!"
"Why didn't you chew the recommended 18 times before you swallowed that minced up piece of steak?!"
- I never actually speak these things, but I think them LOUD AND CLEAR. When in a restaurant (or church, bc let's be honest, there's a lot of coughdrop poppers in church), I review the p's and q's of the heimlich menauver in my head, and I sit with shifty eyes, waiting for a helpless soul to cross their hands in the universal choking signal.
One day, my son's take to school lunch will probably be blended, as he will have to consume it outside of my watchful, heimlich-prepared eye. And when he marries, I will likely gift his wife a Vitamix.
Not really.
Okay maybe.
PS -- Jen, go with Ka-Rip! (From a fellow Bison!)
Heather - December 30th, 2013 at 12:32 PM
Yes. Yes yes yes. And I think a Vitamax is the PERFECT gift for college bound children. I'm going to start a special little Vitamax savings account so I can get my kids the deluxe models in several years.
cindy - December 30th, 2013 at 8:46 PM
My kids think I am CRAZY because I wouldn't let them eat anything but yogurt or pudding for a snack for fear they would choke while home alone. I even let my son have ice cream for breakfast because it was less stressful for me than thinking of him eating cereal or toast.
Erin Pickens - December 30th, 2013 at 11:47 AM
All of the canned goods have to be in neat rows with the labels facing out.

I have an obsession with my kids' noses. They must be booger free at all times! Same for cleaning their eyes...

I can't stand to hear plastic rustling or metal utensils scraping on dishes... Makes my bottom teeth itch!

I will straighten the bed covers in the middle of the night. My husband can't stand this, but after 15 years, he's able to go back to sleep quickly!
K Smith - December 30th, 2013 at 12:04 PM
This is awesome! And, oddly enough, I'm smiling because I've been waiting for an opportunity to share my quirks!!
1. I can't drink water or tea from a straw. Only soda's.
2. Certain foods are not "breakfast foods" and should not be eaten prior to lunch. They are chicken, ketchup, mayo and green vegetables.
3. Birthday and Christmas presents are meant for the day of the occasion. It just about pushes my over the edge when I see someone give an "early" Christmas present (like in November) to someone they actually live with. My whole entire family has learned to abide by this simple rule :) thankfully!
4. I never watch a movie more than once. I don't understand why you would by a DVD of a movie...what a waste of money.

Kelly S. - December 30th, 2013 at 12:09 PM
So glad to know I am part of a large universe of fabulously quirky people!
1. I love the smell of bleach and water, so I use it to clean everything. Really. Everything.
2. I can't touch yarn because it sends chills down my spine. Listening to earphones lying down does the same thing.
3. I cannot sleep on planes or in cars. Kinda stinks sometimes
4.4.If I am leaving my house it has to be perfectly in order or I can't leave. So I always have to build time into NY schedule for my last minute bustling about.
5. I am certain I am bad luck for my favorite teams. So if things start going south during a game I will turn it off and leave the room. Scary, but this usually turns their luck around.
6. I hate to be scared or startled by someone. Makes me feel slightly homicidal once I recover!
7. I hate chipped nail polish. If I chip one and can't fix it IMMEDIATELY, I will scrape it all off so at least they match!
angie dailey - December 30th, 2013 at 12:11 PM
oh my goodness....
I don't even know what to say except- hahha
I feel really connected to the way you think.
I have 4 children- we have officially entered the grandparent stage.
And I am pretty sure that woman you see on television in the bathtub full of perfect bubbles will never be me....marriage for 21 years and God for all of it makes us look at the world a little differently.
I had someone tell me recently I wasn't enough of a prude to be a serious Christian woman.
Get real.
Because I am.

thanks for all of your blog posts and facebook rants- Keep 'em comin- and keep it real.
Renee - December 30th, 2013 at 12:13 PM
Can't stand public restrooms and if I must use one I stand and use my own tissue from my purse

I love removing eye boogies from my kids, the dogs, myself, once my daughter jumped out of the car at school before I could get her sleepy seed and my fingers tingled for an hour in disappointment

All the doors in the house must be closed except the bedroom ones which must remain open if unoccupied!
Tara - December 30th, 2013 at 12:13 PM
I love how you keep it real! My son calls me weird, but isn't okay with his friends calling him weird, he's 9. But I tell him it better to be weird then be like everyone else and he'll like it when he's older!
Becky - December 30th, 2013 at 12:16 PM
1. I yawn... I yawned while typing yawn... you fake yawn, I yawn.. the dog on tv yawns, I yawn... you blatantly don't say the word yawn while torturing me, I yawn... somebody taught this trick to all my neices and nephews and all my kids friends... I hate him (it is a good thing I love him)

2. I gag.. never know what is going to set it off... well except the Dentist, that always make me gag... it is awful... could be a smell, could be something yucky looking.. .just don't know.. my sister thinks it is hysterical... I end up vomiting a lot... sigh..

3. I HATE HATE being the center of attention... I am introvert! Know this and love me!!! the surprise birthday party when I turned 30 almost killed me... do not leave me alone in a room full of people or I will hunt you down and kill you... I don't care if I know some of them.. .don't leave me alone

4. I am not a hugger... please stop hugging me... if you have to hug on hello, you do not have to hug on goodbye... no really, I am good thanks... family & friends, you can hug.. short happy hugs, then let go... strangers, please no...and it would be great if you didn't kiss me either.. .thanks.. I am better than I used to be and I am definitely better than my sister... even my friends are like, just tell you sister I said... give her a wave for me...

5. No Massages.. nope not ever..please don't tough me... I have a very low tolerance for pain and you are hurting me.. this is not relaxing.. .no massages.. not boyfriends, not professionals.. please don't touch me...

6. I love pedicures.. yes you may touch my feet, but that is all... take your hand off my lower leg!! feet only.. .and no after pedicure shoulder rub.. please, I beg of you, stop touching me...

7. Must by nail polish for my toes.. lots and lots of polish... wait sale on Polish... I am there... they are not the same color, look different names... yes, they are close but they are not the same.. must have both...

8. I wear flip flops all the time... whenever possible.. I live in the Northeast so I have to put them away eventually, however it his 50 in December, January or February those flip flops are on... feet need to breathe!

9. I love to eat candy be the color (Spree, M&Ms, Skittles, Starburst, etc). by the color... divide and then eat by the color... best way... no need to meld the flavors.. why? They are their own perfectly good flavors...

Carliss - December 30th, 2013 at 12:23 PM
I can't stop eating candy cigarettes. They are my favorite and I am 55. No judging.
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