Beautifully written, Jen. Sharing.

Thank you for writing this Jen!

Thank you for this. I want to ride in this boat with you.

Standing with you...

I have chills...and since this event, I no longer just ignore racist comments...I call them out and tell people how wrong and uncomfortable they make me feel. Racism is alive, I would like to say it's dying with an older generation, but it still lingers...it lingers in "black jokes" or when people comment about our adopting from Ethiopia, it lingers when people comment on our president based on his color rather then his actions...you don't have to like the man, but it has nothing to do with his race! Thank you for this beautiful post.

I'm with you, Jen.

I hope this makes it's way to Trayvon's mother. I was outraged and amazed when I saw this story. My first thought was, "Isn't this 2012?" Aren't we supposed to be past all of this JUNK? I, as so many others, am heartbroken for this momma. I would lay down my life for my children and I can only begin to imagine the devastation she is feeling right now. So, Jen

What a beautiful post. I too, several years ago, claimed to be against racism, thought it didn't exist, etc. That was until my husband moved me to a community where WE were the minority. We lived in a community that was filled with Eastern Indians. I cried my eyes out when I came home from new family orientation at school and I was the only white mom. I cried harder when I dropped my babies off at a school where the "white kids" were few. I cried even harder when I realized none of my kids saw color...EVER. But, I was brought to my knees when I was reminded that this was a picture of Heaven. By the end of our time there, I too, begin to see people...not color. It's easy to have a pretty view of racism when you aren't the minority. Thanks so much for this reminder. I never want to go back to that place of seeing color...I simply want to see people...God's people.

I also enjoyed the links you provided. The story about the prom is heartbreaking. Heartbreaking!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was just talking about how naive I have been about race in this country. My African baby is just 1 year old but I need to learn these things now and hope and pray for change.

Beautifully written, Jen. We are adopting from Ethiopia, as well, and your words (as always) have touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your heart.

So powerful and so very true. It saddens this mother's heart to see a child gunned down and killed. May God continue to bring justice and comfort to this beautiful family. The world needs to wake up and stop seeing a person by the color of their skin, the size of their house, the money in their wallet or their credentials of education. God created us all equal in His eyes and The Book of Life does not have your skin color beside your name. We are judged on how we love one another.

And now I'm crying. Thanks a lot. No, really. This story breaks my heart. I want us to be better than this!

I read this through my tears..just as you wrote it.
Beautiful words!!
I too stand with you on this.

I have been in agony these last few weeks over the same issues. Thank you for putting into words what I could not. My ET babes are 4 and 2. When I consider the circumstances they may face in 10 years and beyond, I am overcome with the question, "HOW in the WORLD do I prepare them?" Praying for wisdom for all of us.

Standing with you both!

Standing here too. My black American babies are now 5, 6, and 8 and we live in a rural white town with a bunch of other folks with adopted babies. I saw my 8 year old pull up a hoodie this morning to get the newspapers and I thought he's so stinking cute... and he could be Trayvon. Standing up and shouting out

okay, I admit, I cried so hard, I ache, ache ache because of this. As a mom to very diverse group of children-from vanilla white, to latte hispanic/white, to bit darker, Indian/hispanic/white to my newest additions of Indian/African American. Like you, we love them because of the heart that beats inside that skin and the smile that pops out and tears that flow.
Protecting our children is in us, and this made me see, I can not protect them from so much. Very overwhelming!

Noone could have said it better. I pray right now that this racist act of ignorant hatred would stop, I lived in deep south Ga. and I cannot tell you what a culture shock it was to see the community still living as if it was the early 19th century. NO matter what color we are we are all of one race created by God and in his image. Who are we to stand and say who has more merit over another. I would like to join you. Let me know what I can do here in Wichita to help you! YOU INSPIRE ME WITH YOUR AMAZING HEART FOR GODS TRUTH. JEN YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOME IN GOD KINGDOM!

I am thinking about my black son as I read this blog.. I am also saying to Trayvon's mom... "If you'll have me.. I'd like to stand with you" enough is enough. Someday my sweet Juvens will grow up and he will be a 17 year old black boy... enough is enough...
Thank You for this post!

Jen, I posted a link to this on Facebook because I believe you eloquently gave words to the things I was feeling in my own heart about this outrageous incident, but also all that comes with it. The inevitable discussions about race in 2012, the heartbreak over a mama's loss of her baby, and the excruciating spotlight that God shines on my own heart, exposing ugliness and shadows that want to lurk there, unseen until provoked. There's a general uneasiness that comes about when "things like this" happen, not because they happened, but because of how I respond to them. I'm sure this is the work of the Holy Spirit, pricking my conscience and forcing me to admit that something inside needs to change. Thank you for your honesty because it's the stick that God used today to poke at my selfish heart.

Beautiful and thank you for opening my eyes.

WOw.. This brought tears to my eyes. You said everything I am feeling. This is amazing!!! I too have adopted children of a different race. I have a boy and girl from Haiti and I have thought the very same thing you have.. I too will STAND!!!

Thank you for writing these words. Our children, all children, desire the same bright futures. As a mother of children with many different skin colors, and many different medical diagnosis I cry to God daily that they will be treated with dignity. God makes no mistakes and He created each of our children unique but equal. I wish everyone could see their beauty.

I'm a whitebread momma to a chocolate son and am just horrified to think that people will look at him with suspicion in ten years. I also had the shocking experience of buying toys and books for him and realizing there weren't any that looked like him.

Sybrina, if you'll have me, I want to stand with you too. Praying for your aching, grieving heart.

Incredible words. Eye opening...as it should be. Thank you for sharing what we have all been thinking through this whole thing but had no words for. This is a blessing to me and my children who will never be able to escape their blackness no matter how white their world may be.

Sybrina, I pray you read this post and these comments and know we are all standing with you, grieving for you, holding you up to the Father who sees and knows all.
Jen, thank you for writing what, I think, so many of us wanted to say to Trayvon's mom.

I haven't spoken a word about it. I have nothing to offer. I'm not American, I have zero understanding of these issues but my heart is so grieved, I cry for Trayvon and his mother, for all of us, really. I can't even get my head around it and my heart wont' try. But I'm standing with her, too.

Wonderful Jen..you move me (as you always do). i know God will use this towards justice and love and encouragement. How sad i am for the loss of Trayvon

This absolutely brought me to tears. I hope we can all stand together for this family.

I will say... that before race keeps being bated due to this story... that we wait to see what happened. This coming from a mom of a minority.

http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2012-03-26/news/os-trayvon-martin-zimmerman-account-20120326_1_arizona-iced-tea-suv-unarmed-black-teenager

What you have to say is important -- but to say it by using the emotional volcano of this case is wrong... IMO... you are characterizing this whole situation w/o any of us knowing the facts. This young man was not shot in the back while carrying a bag of skittles. To paint that picture is dishonest... to say the least.

I think most of us have been stunned into not knowing what on EARTH to say. How can this be happening? How can it really, really, really happen in our nation in 2012?

I tend to avoid news and current events at all costs because when I know things like this are happening, I start to wonder how God can possibly bring redemption from it. A reflection on my own lack of faith, to be sure.

Your words as a mother of a black son will be heard on so many more levels, but please know you speak for ALL mothers in writing this.

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

thank you for writing this. the silence among white evangelicals has been deafening, and these are whispers of another Way.

Thank you for speaking out about the hard things. They always make me self reflect and I can say on these issues I've been very naive. Thank you for shining a bright light on this issue. To say this is a tragedy is an understatement. :(

Wow, you write incredibly and this is such a sad story and state that our country is in!

Your boy is beautiful and so are you!!!!!

This was very touching! Very well written, Jen.

Beautifully written. I have no words. All I can say is that I will stand.

THANK YOU for speaking out Jen. This is BEAUTIFUL. I pray Sybrina sees these comments and knows that there are many like us who wish to stand with her. If you'll have me, I'd be honored.

I read through tears. Bless you. Thank you for this.

The tears flowed as I read this. Well, well said!

Thank you for writing this. It's so important for us to admit that we have lived this privilege so that we can actually start doing something about it.

I just cried my way through this post. As an adoptive white Mom to two darling black boys and a gorgeous black daughter, this cut me to the core. I just assumed that my boys would be safe because I was raising them in our quiet little town...how silly of me. I, too, think of how my children will be treated when they are older and I cringe. Thank you for writing so eloquently what I could not.

Jen, you are a voice for so many on so many issues. God bless you for going here. I stand with you.

I love you. I am so proud of you. I blogged about this on Friday, and well, it seems like a third grader wrote mine. You amaze me and God is working through your life sister. Thank you for sharing your heart...its so obviously Jesus' heart. Big hugs!

Beautifully and truthfully said! I agree wholeheartedly!

Thank you for standing up for EVERYONE. We all know people that look different then all of us. I feel very grateful that you wrote this and can only hope that we will all read this . I`m sorry for all that suffers from these same things in one way or another. I hope people will share this. My prayers go out for everyone!

I do not have children, will never be a mother - but this resonated with me. Thank you for expressing what I could never express but somehow know deeply is true.

Kelly Moore, fellow OBU alum, 1992

Thank you for penning what's been on my heart for the past week.

Thank you Jen, for sharing this very powerful letter, for touching my heart and putting into words the saddness and fear this tragedy has brought me, and the worry I feel for our black son waiting for us in Ethiopia. Praying for the Martin Family, and that more people in this world can open their eyes and hearts to each other regardless of the color of their skin. Realizing there is a long, difficult road yet ahead of us to end racism but that we need to do the hard work and ask the hard questions if we ever expect it to change.

god is defintily working threw you !that was beautiful!my son is mixed with black and it scares the heck out of me that my son has to grow up in a worl like this ! my son also weres hoodies and walks to his friends house to play basketball!could that have been my child?could have been !thank you for this letter is was just beautiful ! thanks !!!

as a white mom of an african son, i have struggled to put my feelings into proper words. all i can see when i see trayvon is a little boy, an innocent kid, my son in ten years, and i cry and cry and cry. i see his beautiful mother, his brave beyond belief mother, and i and cry some more. no closure yet, just sadness and grief and a struggle to know how in the world to talk my kids, all of them - white and black - about this.

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN I AM SPEECHLESS BECAUSE MY FAMILY RANGE IN COLOR FROM LIGHT(MISTAKEN FOR WHITE) TO DARK BLACK AND YES THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN DIFFERENCE NOT THAT WE SAW AS CHILDREN BUT AS WE GREW..THE CHANGE THAT COMES FROM EVEN HOW BLACKS REACT TO COLOR.. SO I CAN IMAGINE WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS HAVE TAKEN YOU.. BUT AS A PERSON YOU CAN ONLY MOVE FORWARD AND THE STEPS YOU ARE TAKING ARE TO BE COMMENDED THAT YOU FOR SHARING YOUR MOST INNER THOUGHTS ON THIS SUBJECT..AND EVEN MORE THANK YOU FOR REACHING OUT NOT ONLY TO TRAYVON'S FAMILY BUT REACHING OUT TO A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL FINDING ONE ANOTHER...

Jen thank you I am a mommie to three bi racial sons and I also stand firm with yuh in our fight to stop this madness.

Beautiful, Jen! So thankful you had the courage to stand in the gap for all of us!

this is so beautiful. we are in the waiting process for our boy(s) from ethiopia and i am just starting to shed some of my ignorance of the racism that still exists.

and i have to say, i am glad i am not the only one who had a fit in the middle of target searching for one cute black baby doll!!!!

I'll be sharing this blog with my students in Criminology and Race Relations. Thanx!

I am incredibly white as well, with my two blonde haired blue eyed babies. I was opened to this when my daughter (3 years old) picked the black baby doll at the store. We were checking out at the register and the cashier, an older white woman, said "I would never let me daughter have a brown baby!". What? I was outraged! We then got in a heated debate, and I notified management. I have been praying for God to open the eyes and ears of our country, ever since that day. Thank you for writing this! It truly is heartbreaking!

Beautiful and touching .... truly heartfelt...

AWESOME! As another former pale blonde (now Ms. Clairol - lol) mom with 2 Asian children, thank you for putting into words what many of us 'white' moms feel. My heart breaks for our diverse children. If we could give them a perfect world,they would not be noticed because of their color but only by their beautiful smiles!

I must say as I sit here reading this I am tearful, tearful over the truth, tearful for Trayvon Martin, tearful for Jen, tearful for Sybrina, and tearful for all the kids in this world who have suffered due to the ignorance in our world and this can be any child, any color on any given day. The words you speak Jen are probably the most humbling words I have ever heard coming from a white mother with a black child outside of the words spoken by my own mother as she raised biracial children of her own in the 70's. I want to thank you for these words, I wish you could share them with the world, because it's what the world needs to hear even if they wish to stay in blindfolds. I can't even express how I'm feeling right now because I can't find the words. I'm so glad I ran across this on facebook. Your words bring hope and will inspire people, they have to, I'm pretty sure they already have. They absolutely have inspired me and I just wanted to say Thank you! You probably didn't want this attention directed towards yourself, but it's hard to address the situation without giving praise to your efforts. I also want to give my love and support to Sybrina and tell her that her fight is not fought alone. We all take this with us every day out in the world with heavy heavy hearts. I will not stop talking about your son until justice is served and even after justice is served I will remember your son, I only hope I remember him because something changes in this world after such a horrible loss. Something like this women Jen writing this letter and leaving her vulnerability open for all. I pray that one day, you find solace, I really do.

Thank you for writing this Jen. You put into words what myself, and so many others, are trying to say.

Absolutely perfect...These are words I would love to say but just could not find the way to put pen to paper. My heart aches for Trayvon and his family but hoping and praying that his death was not in vain and will bring about unity. It is up to us to change starting with ourselves but also teaching our children that we are all God's children and the color of ones skin does not reflect their moral character or their heart. Thank you for this and for reminding me that I need to make more effort.

Thank you so much for writing this. It has healed a little bit of the depair I have felt for the last few days in the wake of this incident. Regardless of whatever fools will make out of this entire nasty and sad sad affair, your words may transcend some of the barriers to understanding what it is like to be in someone elses shoes even for a moment. It can be very difficult to picture that difference if all you know is your own perspective, because it often takes a shared experience to really relate to someone else.

As a product of a mixed race marriage, I have grown up with the perspective of someone who has been at different times percieved as hispanic, white, asian, native american, or black and also as someone who is clearly none of these things and maybe therefore more for who I actually am than what people might assume if they could figure out what label to stick on me first. As a child I think the inability to classify myself even gave me a stronger sense of the divisions between people that seemed to make it harder for them to be truly aware of them at all. As an adult, I count this as a blessing which perhaps gave me a broader understanding of things at a younger age than I would otherwise have, and I recognize this as a true epiphany which may help more people see a new dimension past the limits of their own experience when they didn't even realize there were limits to that at all.

For that, I am grateful, because one person can lead the way for many to follow. And that gives me hope again. I had been starting to lose hope from watching people continue to hit that invisible wall the last few days. These thoughts that you have shared, I think, have the power to both reveal the wall and encourage more to begin to tear it down.

God bless,

and thank you.

Beautifully written expressing heart of compassion. I have barely been able to breathe or think about anything other than this tragedy. I cannot bear the thought of what Sybrina must be going through.
And all the other Mama's whose children have been murdered, harassed, hurt in any way because they are different...skin, abilities, beliefs.
Civil Rights are for ALL American citizens.
Let's make this a better place to grow up in than the world of my childhood.

The sad irony is that Trayvon had to die for us all to feel this way (and I include myself in the "us" category)! These types of things happen more than we care to admit, and because the situations may not be as extreme, they aren't plastered all over the evening news. We will never know what it feels like to raise black children as black parents, but as white parents raising black children we can only do our best to shed light on these injustices!

I'm white, I have a white sister, a white brother, a black brother and two black sisters. I have a white daughter, a white son, a black daughter and a black son. I like to think that if I am racist in any way, I'm not very good at it. (Privately, I think that black infants are cuter than white ones. If that is racist I apologize.) However, I am no where near as color blind as my children. My white son took two weeks before realized that his new little sister from Africa was black. He said, "Hey! That baby's black!" My daughter wondered why ALL families didn't have black and white children in them. She assumed that all families were racially diverse. I pray that one day I will be as colorblind as they are.

Why don't black people adopt white kids?
Isn't that weird? How racist of them.

Thanks so much for this. We now have two black teenagers under our roof, and I've always taken their safety for granted here. I mean, we live in a "nice" neighborhood. Of course they can go ride bicycles, go for a walk, chill at the park. Of course, Trayvon's mother probably thought the same thing. My heart goes out to her. Thank you for discussing the difficult questions; I pray that we all have the strength to recognize racism and join together in obliterating it.

Another white woman standing up with you. Racism is wrong. Period.

That was a moving letter and I am with you and I do understand, I myself have biracial children and before having them I to was ignorant to the fact of racism and since then I learned that racism is still a big part of American and it is sad and despicable. I hope that this letter gets out to every mom that has had to face this issue and maybe it will reach our government and figure out how to stop this injustice.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-trayvon-martin-case-20120326,0,4845076.story?track=icymi Turns out Martin was the aggressor.

Jen, What a powerful story and well-written! I praise God that he gave you the heart to love and adopt a child from another ethinicity group. I pray that others will now understand and realize that racism does exist and will understand the struggles that young African Americans experience in this country. Bless you!

What a wonderful and beautiful letter.
I am a very white momma, but one whom God has always given open eyes to the racism that still lives in our world today.
My heart breaks for Trayvon's family.
My heart breaks for Americans.
We do need to band together, open our eyes and start a revolution of change.

Very well written and heartfelt. I pray that it brings comfort to Trayvon's parents. I pray that that healing will begin soon, for his family and the Nation.

In college, I had to write an essay about the first time I truly noticed my gender and my race.... I didn't really get it - not as a yuppie white girl from an upperclass neighborhood. Your post "gets it."
I hope Trayvon's mother gets to read this. Well said.
Mags

As a minority and a brother to a sister who is engaged to a black man I loved your heart felt reach towards loving Trayvon's mom.
This is a tragedy to be sure but the fact that we have already proven Zimmerman guilty is wrong and just as tragic. And speaks volumes more about our society and microwave-reporting. Recent reports are now coming out that all is not as it seems.
I agree that in 2012 racism shouldn't even be in our vocabulary but our current state of sensationalist reporting (especially from twitter) is far more of a concern to me.
Thank you for sharing your heart

Speechless!!!! But, know this soon real soon all under the sun of "GOD" we will live in peace and happiness. No one will say " I hate my Neighbor"!!! We will all love what :GOD: loves. And we will once and for all time know what it means to love your neighbor as yourself!!!!!

There are always lots of black baby dolls at our Target. What breaks my heart is how often they are marked on clearance.

I know that it might just be a matter of statistics. It's probably just because I live in a predominantly white suburb in a predominantly white country and that not as many people are buying the black baby dolls - but then I hear a friend who works in foster care say, "We have more non-white babies than we have homes for", and the image of a cute black baby doll with a clearance sticker on her makes me cry a little in the Target aisle.

My mother's heart weeps for this woman and her son. Just weeps.

A couple of years ago I wrote a post that said something along the lines of, as a white person I do not have the right to say that racism doesn't exist because I'm not a victim of it. When I hear my friends whispering stories to me of how they've been treated, because they always whisper them, they never shout them, my heart aches for them. I want to go out and fight a battle that I have no idea how to fight. I want to stand up to injustice, but how do I do that when it doesn't happen to me? I will gladly link arms with you and go wherever I'm directed.

I can so relate to this letter ! I have 3 white biological children and adopted my 4th child. He is a beautiful black boy ! Adopted at 7 days old... now 14. I can't imagine what I would do if someone hurt my beautiful son !!!!!!!!!!!

There continue to be "norms" that we set whether we intend to or not -- color, ability, disability, size, and on and on the list goes! What a peace to realize that God doesn't see us that way -- may we continue to strive to be more like our Savior! Thanks for sharing!

breaks my heart. absolutely breaks it. but i want it to do more than break my heart. i want it to change my heart and effect my actions and my words and what i stand up for. praying for boldness.

Stiffling sobs as I sit in Panera. I'm with you - white momma, Ethiopian son, heartbroken at the injustice!!!!

A son is a son no matter what color.

Beautifully written and it truly is time for racism to end...we are all God;s children and our hearts should all ache for this boy...and his family.

As a mother considering adoption my heart has been torn open over the last 24 hours. This is tragic, your solidarity is beautiful and I will share it, shout it and be ever grateful for your honesty.

Jen, your letter to Trayvon's mom is just beautiful. I pray it makes it to her and that she finds some comfort in knowing that you and countless others are standing with her to fight this injustice. Trayvon's death will not be forgotten.

Dear George Zimmerman's mom,
I'm so sorry that an entire country has judged your son and found him guilty based on a complete lack of information and total ignorance. They are now experts on his character, prejudices, motives, and intentions. There is a bounty for him, and he is reviled and hated by millions. They feel that they can do a better job than police, investigators, and prosecutors with the information given to them by the media and Treyvon's family. Yes, racism may still exist, but apparently so does the mob mentality that led people to hang someone from a tree without even a hint of a trial. I pray you are getting the support privately that Treyvon's mother is receiving publicly.
Julia

I stand with you, too. Beautifully written. My sadness for Sybrina is paralyzing. And my goodness, the pictures of Ben and Trayvon made me smile and weep. Such beautiful children.

Great sentiments in this note, but in one breath you lament the fact that a black kid gets followed around in the store, and in the next you have already tried and convicted the shooter in this case as a murderer. As simple as the news media and, it seems, many Americans, want to make this case, it is not simple. There are witnesses who say that they saw Trayvon on top of the shooter, beating him. The shooter had a busted nose a cuts that required stitches in the back of his head. He certainly didn't get those injuries by himself. It is a tragedy that a young man is dead (no matter the color of his skin). It is also a tragedy that another human being is being portrayed as a murderer when the evidence seems to indicate otherwise.

What a beautiful letter! This Puerto Rican momma of two Ethiopian boys is praying for change, for the sake of all our children, no matter what their skin color.

I applaud efforts to eliminate racism as God has created ALL MEN EQUAL and in this great country ALL MEN are supposed to be afforded the rights of Life, Liberty,

Thank you for this heart felt and honest letter....it gave me chills. My heart breaks for everyone involved in this tragedy. As a mother who will hopefully be bringing my baby boy home from Ethiopia this year, I have those fears also for my child...praying for a better world!

WOW!!!!!!..SO well written, as we too go to adopt and love our future black son, I too have been naive about the world we live in..thank you for this post...

Dear Mrs. Hatmaker, Are you aware that the accused in this story has a best friend who is also black. Not only is he black but he is speaking out vehemently that this crime was not racially motivated. Forget the fact that there was a witness who saw this man lying on the ground pleading for help moments before the gun was fired. Forget the fact, that the accused suffered a broken nose and claims that Trayvon was trying to get his gun. Forget the fact that this man is a law abiding citizen who cares greatly about his community and spend many hours volunteering to keep the kids in the community safe. Let's also forget that he is also innocent until proven guilty. Here is the real problem. His skin is not dark enough to suit many. White people like you who feel that you have grown a deeper understanding of racism because you have for the first time in your lives become close to a black person have committed the same crime you have accused this man of. I had hopes that the "Christian" community would hold their tongues in this situation long enough for the facts to come in. As I can see, the trial has already taken place, and a judgement has been made. I have long understood the racism in this country, and I can assure you that blue eyed people, standing up to defend a young man just because he was black and his accused killer was white, does nothing to help the real problem.

I, too, want to stand with you. My sister (we are white) adopted a biracial baby about 34 years ago. It is incredible how much prejudice there is in this world. We had people afraid to hug her because it would rub off. She was not accepted in high school by either color. This prejudice has to stop sometime. Praying for God's grace and peace to cover Trayvon's family and only good comes from this.

Thank you for this beautifully written letter. I sure hope this letter along with all the supporting comments will reach Sybrina and be of comfort and reassurance to her. As a Christian, I too believe that God created us equal. May God bless your family and hers!

Amen

Jenn I normally love your posts. But I think that this post is probably being applied to the wrong situation.

We must all hold off judgment.
Now some reports say that Trayvon picked the fight and tried to kill Zimmerman first with his hands and then by trying to kill George with his own gun. George Zimmerman a "minority" himself, has "black" people in his extended family and he and his wife have tutored black children as well. I'm sure George(Jorge) Zimmerman could tell us 100's of stories of him having prejudice aimed at himself and his family as well. Peace and Jesus' love to both families. Let's wait to see who the real aggressor was here before we make it to look like a hate crime.

Another white mama of two little black boys. I stand also. And I hope that somehow Sybrina sees this.

Thank you for this genuine cry to Trayvon's mom. I call myself a "Hispanic incognito". My dad is Puerto Rican

This is very gut wrenching. beautifully written. I stand with you. I'm challenged.

This is so amazing. I came across this blog and your post as a link from Facebook and I am MOVED beyond words. I THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for writing this!

Very well written. No child should have their life taken from them for any reason. It saddens me to see how people in our country still carries on a battle that started in our country by it's ancestors. Our soldiers stand together and fight in other countries, why can't we all do the same here in our own midst. We are all God's children and made in his image. I am white, and I was raised not to see color, but the person they are. I agree that racism needs to come to an end. .

moving and much strength to you and everyone to sit in that uncomfortable place known as challenging the norms...

First, I just teared up as I read your post...it started with a trip to Target. I am white, but have a number of black friends that I love dearly. What you shared opened my eyes to the extent of what they have lived during their lifetime. My heart broke when I heard about Trayvon's death, but I also didn't want to be one that rushed to judgement until all the facts have come out. I only wished more men would read your posts. Unfortunately I am married to a man who sees alot of the world in black and white, and I don't mean skin color, but I do mean...well...not willing to look at others point of view. I love you Jen, for continuing to be bold and help us open our minds and hearts.

I am a product of a white woman falling in love with a black (African) man. After my father passed away, I grew up primarily around my white family since my father's family was still in Africa. At times I have related more to the white race and found myself making assumptions and judgements that were, well...racist. Then I fell in love with a black man and we have a son who is primarily black (3/4). God has opened my eyes, convicted my heart and is still teaching me how to be colored blind. You are SO right, its engrained in us, whether we realize it or not, we are taught from a young age that is better to be lighter than dark. I am here to say that I have maybe one of THE cutest kids in the WORLD (okay, maybe I am bias, but he's pretty cute!). I can only pray that by the time my 3 year old grows into a 13 year old or 30 year old man that our world has opened its eyes to see that a man should be judged by the content of his character not the color of his skin. Thank you for your honestly, humility and openness. I will certainly be re-posting this to my facebook and blog (tandtk.blogspot.com).

Tiffany - Fort Worth, Texas

What a complete and total CROCK. I am white. I make no apologies for being white. I make no apologies for a system created BY white people and run BY white people that seems to put white people in an advantage. But as I work every freaking day in an ER where I take care of plenty of non-white people, it occurs to me that I am working WAY harder than they are, and they have BETTER benefits than ME!! If one of THEM calls me fat white boy, NOTHING HAPPENS. But if I even acknowledge the color of their never-seen-a-hard-day's-work skin, I could get FIRED, SUED, or BOTH. My father is white. He was an independent contractor my whole life. He's retired now. And to keep his good healthcare benefits, he has to pay $800/month, while Mr. Never Workedaday pays NOTHING and gets EVERYTHING for FREE!! Sure, when he goes in to Walmart the security guys DON'T see him as a threat. Know why? Because people in HIS demographic group don't typically ROB YOU BLIND!! He doesn't get the third degree if he gets stopped by a police officer. I'm guessing that's because his car DOESN'T SMELL LIKE POT AND BEER. Tell me again how stacked the cards are against BLACKS, please!!

Everything in your post was beautifully expressed right up until the time you convicted a man of murder without due process. If he is guilty then he will do the time deserved. The court of public opinion is not the U.S Judicial system. Otherwise beautifully written.

Very touching...brought me to tears. Love is all colors.

I am an adoptive mother of two beautiful black girls and I will stand with you too!

You are beautiful. Thank you for this message to Sybrina. So powerful and moving.

Powerful words that will comfort, challenge and influence many! Bless you!

Bawling my eyes out as I read this. I hope you don't mind if I share - there are so many people who need to hear what you've so beautifully written. Blessings

I cant write like that but I agree with everything amillion percent. The only way I could come up with to teach my children not to be racist was to have forien exchange students. They are al very well loved and respected adults.I wish I could come over and give you a hug and try to make you feel better. All I can say is keep believing God will take care of all of you.

Jenn,
Why do you seem so apologetic for being white?
And why does it matter?
In Christ there is no Jew or Greek.
So we can say, "In Christ there is no Black or White or Hispanic, or Asian or Native American" etc.

Didn't Dr. King want us to get beyond making everything about the color of our skin.

When I was in a COGIC church in Memphis I will never forget what the "very black" Bishop Porter said to me and my "white" preacher friend. He said, "I'm not an African American, or a Black American, I'm an American! If I don't bathe I stink just like you do."

I never forgot that.
And another great example:
When Bernard Shaw great CNN anchor and life-long American journalist was retiring. I saw him being interviewed. Someone of course asked: "Mr. Shaw, how does it feel, what are the responsibilities that go with being the most famous and respected black journalist?" Bernie Shaw looked as if the man had asked him the most stupid question a person could ever ask because it was. Mr. Shaw said, "I have never viewed myself as a black journalist, just a journalist."
Amen Bishop Porter, Amen Mr. Shaw. Amen Dr. King.

In Sanford Florida. Two American men, one 17 and one 28 got caught up in a very unfortunate scuffle that turned into a life or death fight, and the younger man lost his life. It is much more a lesson on suspicion and controlling one's anger, than it will ever be about race.

This is absolutely the best blog that I have ever read. As a black man the honesty provided and shared gives me hope that somewhere out here in America there are more like you.

My husband and I have six kids. We are also VERY white. My 9 year old, who is autistic, announced the other day " MOM! We are now PERFECT! We have three browns and three peaches, three boys and three girls! Isn't it great!". Two of my children are black males, and we are currently fighting to adopt a third black son. I was so totally oblivious to racism until I lived it. It's ugly. I find it very ironic that my 9 year old daughter's views on our family are far more accurate than that of this world we live in. Out of the mouths of babes...

You are hopping right on the media bandwagon of assuming the white person did wrong without any facts. The facts that ARE coming to light are exonerating the watchman. It would be nice if people would wait on facts in cases instead of making unfounded assumptions. The facts-currently corroborated by witnesses-are that Trayvon punched the watchman, knocked him to the ground, then jumped on top of him and continued beating him. The facts are this "innocent kid"'s facebook page is full of bragging about violence he had committed. The facts are this "innocent kid" had been suspended because (according to family of his) drugs. If you want to say something to his mom, it might be to have raised her child better and paid more attention to what he was doing.

Standing with you both and all the mothers with black or mixed children (like myself) WUNITED WE STAND , MUST END THIS NOW AND FOREVER !!!!!

This is from the U.S. news- I have not red enough about it to say one way or the other who is at fault but...
Zimmerman's account emerged for the first time Monday in a report by The Orlando Sentinel. Quoting unidentified "law enforcement authorities," the Sentinel reported that Zimmerman (who is Hispanic not white) told police that Trayvon Martin knocked him down with a single punch and slammed his head into the sidewalk several times before the shooting — an account that police said witnesses have corroborated.

Excellently written, Jen. You have a beautiful heart for justice and are full of compassion.

To those not moved by these words, please consider reading another blog. This one will always be passionate for the "least of these".

This could not have been said better.........

What a beautiful post. I have a 17 year old son. Half black half puerto rican. We live in a predominately white neighborhood and he has been stopped by the police just for walking home. If e is not home by My curfew which is an hr before "their" curfew I am beside myself in fear. As mothers we stand together for the live of our sons and for the rights they do not get!!!! Just because of the color of their skin. God Bless our babies and May God Bless you All...

Thank you so much for writing this. Our family has taken in two children, one of a different race and one from Russia and my sister's children are of mixed races, and your words express exactly what I want to say to all of the black mothers who look at me as a white mother and think I don't understand how they feel. My heart is breaking.

This is a wonderful tribute. The band-aid comment really makes one think. Thank you for sharing.

I cried when I read your post. You are a wonderful mother and a gift to those around you. If only there were more mothers like you. Thank you. And RIP to Trayvon.

Here is what we do know:
1. Multiple black men, women and children tell us that they are frequently subjected to profiling and treated unfairly. They say having someone suspicious of them based only on how they look is a big problem. What in the world would they gain from making that up? I for one believe them.

2. Multiple adoptive families of black children say they are shocked at the discriminatory attitudes toward their black sons once their sons are not little boys anymore. They say their eyes have been opened to the issues of racism in America post-adoption.

3. We are not a post-racial USA in any way shape or form -- and we are ALL to blame


Most of us have friends that look mainly like us, are in the same income bracket, have similar backgrounds ... Most of us would rather do just about anything other than be uncomfortable. Most of us don't take time to try to risk being uncomfortable by reaching out to our neighbors that are a different color, religion, or background. We stick with our circle of clones as much as we can. Most of us only give lip service to "loving like Jesus" and don't really ever do anything to cross boundaries and actually DO IT.

As long as we fear people that are different than us and refuse to listen, empathize or try to build relationships outside of our little circles, we can forget about it being any better.

I just want to say as a white momma about to head to Ethiopia to meet our 8 year old son, I'm with you through and through here. No matter all the details of this case, the simple fact is that we as white people DO NOT truly understand what it is like to live life as a black person. We may know them as our brothers and sisters, our equals and may believe racism ended with MLK, BUT we are so oblivious to those out there that still don't feel that way. I'm proud and happy to think those I surround myself with, understand this and are sensitive to this but it does leave me living in a world that is not always realistic. So to anyone critiquing this blog post, can you not see the main points here? If your life is quite comfortable and you don't feel like you are being negatively watched everywhere you go because of your skin color, you likely do not get it and need to pray that God breaks your heart for what breaks His. Thank you Jen!

Awesome.... simply awesome....

I've been thinking very much similar things. I am a very white foster mother hoping to adopt my black son. Although I don't look at my color or his color often, I see him as any momma who loves their son. Although I know right now all my friends and this community love my son. He is eight and goofy. He is cute and adorable. But in another 6 to 8 years, if he is walking down the street will he be safe? Will people be afraid of him? Added on that Wisconsin now has concealed carry and castle doctrine with many trigger happy people and I do worry about him. Worse, how do I as his mother explain to him the dangers out there that simply are unfair?

I love this so much! Thank you so very much. I, too, was totally ignorant until I married a man with black skin and had a son with white and black skin. I remember thinking, "I've never heard people say things like this before." Then one day I realized, I always heard these things, just never truly cared until it affected me and my family. I wish we could all change. Will it ever happen?

Well said. Wake up America. These types of small racial bigotry happen everyday. But what happened to Trevon and what is happening to the man who took his life is unthinkable. Trevon's mother said it best in an interview. She said God has a plan for everyone. He has used Trevon and his family to wake this country up. When you see injustice happening dont walk by as you didnt see it....STAND UP AND SPEAK. Because if you dont who knows what next may happen. WAKE UP AMERICA...WAKE UP!!!!

I understand much of what you say -- except our daughter was the only white girl on her basketball team. I have had to accompany her in the dressing room due to threats because she was white. I have accompanied our black girls when we played all white schools, because they were all dear to my heart. It is easy to make generalizations . . . my husband is a police officer, never would he use race to make decisions about anyone. I don't know what happened in south Florida. I think it is incredibly sad and pray that the proper measures will be taken. I feel for Trayvon's Mom because I am a mom. Please -- let us not make similar mistakes and use color and/or race. Only by being Mom's of any color can we really make a difference.

When I adopted my son I searched the entire greater Memphis area looking for a black baby doll and was appalled to only find two in a clearance section after searching for 2 days...IN MEMPHIS...I too have complained about band-aids...I stand with you too.

This brings tears to my eyes. This beautiful piece shows that you GET IT. I now feel hopeful again. I'm a black man that lives with this everyday. I have a job, married, two kids, and living the "American Dream". But how long will it last for me? All it takes is getting stop by a cop. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time... The truth is Trayvon's story happens more than we would like to admit.

Nonetheless, you have made me hopeful.

thank you, jen.
many prayers for trayvon's family and our broken world.

I felt ashamed of my color when I first heard the sad end of Trayvon's life. What I wish is that we could totally forget color. Stop thinking of people in terms of any color and see people. Just people. I vow that I will do my part with God's help..

I am overwhelmed ... May God Bless You.

beautifully written. my heart breaks for trayvons family and everyone who knew him. thank you for writing this.

Awesome! I'm in tears... I'm a black mother with 2 black sons and 1 hispanic son...I'm terrified!

This really touched my heart, and ur an awesome women for everything your doing and stand for. My heart goes out to u all and I stand with u too ;)

This story had nothing to do with color or race. Zimmerman is Hispanic with loads of African American friends. No one knows what really happened and all of these theories are downright unjust. It is infuriating to see the ambulance chasers Sharpton and Jackson stirring up more hatred, when will the black community denounce them?

I think it is important to keep in mind that Trayvon was 6'2" and 180lbs 17 year old and all of the Holister T-shirt photos are of him five years ago and that the now infamous hoodie pic was Photoshopped and softened his appearance and that Treyvor openly talked about selling dope on his twitter page.

There is a very sincere possibility that a grown man was desperately trying NOT to shoot a young man who was beating his face in until he had no choice...because as of now that is exactly as law enforcement is showing the case to be and that it was Zimmerman crying out for help. Who now has this burden of killing someone on his conscious and heart as well as a $10,000 price tag on his head.

So powerful, both what you have written and the comments following. Thank you for putting into words what so many are feeling. Change begins with each one of us and in teaching our children.

I don't think you can ever over share the raw emotions regarding our children. And when I say our children I mean every child in the world belongs to me. Every child in the world looks to me for safety, love, food, knowledge, warmth, self-confidence. And I cannot provide every child in the world with what they need...my heart breaks. And I heard the 9-1-1 tape and I felt that this man has Testosterone Poisoning, common among all men, and felt the urge to conquer. But to conquer a sweet young man who is not a threat is the act of a sick, cowardly male. I will hear much about my statements. I am whiter than white; Scandinavian, in fact, blue eyes, blonde. But my heart knows no color. I pray for you and grieve with you. I don't know how you survive the death of a son. I send you strength.

Wonderful, so beautifully written.

Thank you, Jen...what a lovely, heart-felt sentiment. I hope it makes a difference in someone's thoughts.

Ok, maybe this has nothing to do with racism, but if Zimmerman had stayed in his truck like he was told, then Trayvon (innocent 17 year old) would probably be alive TODAY!

It doesn't matter what he has on his FB page or what happened to Zimmerman during the altercation...Treyvon was innocent prior to Zimmerman approaching him.

Jen--thanks so much for sharing! Having grown up in a small "whitebread" town as well, I identify with your words. I have tried to raise my kids to be open minded, although I must admit that me, myself am not "there" yet. If walking down the street, and an oncoming group of differently ethnic boys were walking toward me, I am somewhat ashamed to say that I would probably cross the street. I am reviewing that feeling and hope to "get there" within in this life-time. I am however, proud to say that my kids would not do the same, and for that I am both proud and humbled. Peace and Love!

I felt the hurt, fear,love, and sincerity as I read this letter. All realness this came from the heart and was Beautifully put. The realist I've read so far! This letter touched me I know sabrina and Tracy would be in tears as they read this

And Jen may have wanted to read her own words from a previous post before writing this post.

"May we not move foolishly.

Or arrogantly.

Or rashly.

Or naively."

Foolishly, rashly, and naively you assume this was a race issue. Maybe, but we don't know that. And if you're going to speak honestly about race then, who is placing a bounty on Zimmerman? Who is tweeting his home address? Who is calling for vigilante justice?

Racism doesn't surprise me ... we know it exists ... both ways. What surprises me are the people who claim to not be racist but only see skin color when they see another person. I suppose that isn't 'racism' per definition, but it seems to be an issue within your heart.

As a child growing up in South America, I have been the victim of attacks by other races. Some of which is forever seared in my heart but I am happy to say that over the years, I have come to understand that these incidents are far fewer than the kindness expressed by people for other races. I am from Indian ancestry and my country was black dominated and for many years I have lived in mortal fear of black people. However, I am so glad I have been able to overcome the fear of the horrible injustices which were inflicted on me because it has allowed me to cultivate many, many wonderful relationships with people of all races.

In addition, my family has endured the horrific murder of my niece and, even though I loved my niece as my own child, I still cannot understand the pain my sister now feels every single day of her life. I can tell you that I understand your pain but I can never truly understand YOUR pain. I will tell you that faith and continued prayers will help ease some of the pain. You, as his mother, carried him in your womb for 9 months, gave painful birth to him, have nursed him at your breast, stayed up with him when he had a fever, runny nose and was simply cranky. You have probably watched him with a broken heart yourself when his heart was broken and will always love him the same way you have when you discovered his first move in your sacred womb. I pray that you and your family will can find some small comfort in the kind words of perfect strangers who are grieving along with you. His memories will keep you strong today and for all your tomorrows.

God Bless You and give you the strength to carry on!!

Jen, I stand with you. I am also a white mother raising black sons and my heart has been aching fro Trayvon's mom, for all of his family. It is so sad. I know that there are a lot of comments above mine that talk about the conflicting reports and evidence and what may or may not have happened that night, but the truth is that this has forced us to admit a truth that we were trying not to talk about, that racism still exists, that it still affects real people every day. It will not go away unless we talk about it.

my sister in law is related to the martins lawyer so i will pass this along

So, I'd like to withhold judgement 'til all of the facts are in. Is that OK?

Thank you Jen! I am what you call "God's special Recipe"... I use this term because it makes more sense to children when I tell them about God's kitchen where souls are made :o) it makes sense to them because my ethnic background is more like "two teaspoons of everything.' How awesome for God to think of me so special! You see Jen.. I can't hate anyone, because I am just like them and they are just like me! If we could flavor a cake ..with 2 tsp of vanilla... and we can color liquids with even less ... I think that we can surely bet that God Figured that I am indeed a special mix of his LOVE; because he gave me a portion of all peole! In my heart I identify with people of all colors and backgrounds... I smile at the different, the old, the young and even the grotesque images that others think "I am glad it is not me!" The truth is .. how do you know it won't be YOU subjected to some type of hate tomorrow? Love today ... Live tomorrow and Remember..."A life is worth all the stars in the heavens"... atleast to its maker..He did give his only Son for its purpose...To live, have fellowship and be in the Kingdom, FOREVER...I think too many forget that part. The choose to take, rob, steal and murder..it doesn't matter how exactly, they just do. Sad reality of this life not understanding our true purpose. I applaud you Jen... keep the same love and share all you can with ignorance.

~Lori

Very thoughtful...beautifully written...thanks for sharing! Zimmerman stalked this young man, then killed him. Now, I'm thinking he would love a do-over. Well, life just doesn't work like that, George.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
Ephesians 6:14-15

Thank you for writing this. There will never be a time when every person "gets it" - but if one person can gain an understanding its worth it. This is not a matter of all of the facts coming out about Zimmerman's guilt or innocence. In my opinion, the entire case is about his first reaction and then actions toward Trayvon. His first thought was that the young man was "suspicious" - I wish I could ask him what suspicious looks like to him - what did Trayvon fit the bill? Then his next action was to follow the young man. Why? How can the person who initiated the pursuit claim self-defense? He was the offender when he approached this child - Trayvon died because he was trying to defend and protect himself by fighting back. But what I love most about this post is that it goes far beyond just this tragedy - it speaks to the greater issue of privilege in America and in the world based on race. Acknowledging these things is the only thing that will break the cycle. Thank you.

I am sad that we are now using the race card with all of our children to prove that we understand that there is a problem. Children are all precious. They are all the heartbeat of the Creator himself, and none are meant to perish. Both parties involved are also another of the many that God loves and pursues.
I have no real details here other than what the media spoon feeds us, but I know that tragedy has been felt by all involved. I know there are tears for feelings of injustice and tears for loss. And that is enough to know right now. Please do not decide that blogs are now the place where we deny someone the right to express how they feel because ' people are watching and ready to follow'. This is a true expression of feelings dealing with this and the much bigger issue of racism. And let people decide who to follow. They are big enough to pick up their own britches, and their children's children in some cases. It is what it is, and the only person who's reaction you can control is your own. The people stating Z's case are in it just as much as the people stating T's case...but this was a letter to a mom from another mom. And maybe it was a plea for the rest of the world to wake up. We have created such a crazy mess with generations of parent-less children. The violent tendencies that come with the anger felt from hearts broken and trust abused leads cops into almost a guerilla warfare mentality. It is not right. It is not healthy. It needs to change. The system is broken people. This does not mean that we remain silent. It means we pray. Because that is what God calls us to. Prayer. And then we listen to how He would have us participate. And we do it.

As a mom of two pasty white and one brown child, I am sharing.. I would also like to read this post in church next week. Let me know if that is alright with you?

Beautifully and passionately stated.

Beautiful post. Just found it through Sybrina Fulton's Twitter, so I know she saw it, too, which is a testament to your words and their power.
May we all as mothers stand together and vow to fight until justice prevails.
Ashley
http://www.thedoseofreality.com/2012/03/22/and-justice-for-all/

Wow!

Great post Jen I have been blessed in that I have been
Able to move between what I call the two worlds white and black cultures
All the while experiencing the racism with the kids I minister to in over 15 yrs of urban ministry
And with my wife , who is African American to. my son . We lived in Mississippi and now in memphis. I think back to our OBU days and it was there too it's everywhere it's a good thing you
See it and you will know be affected by it daily. So you and Brandon can fight it with us
Im glad your in the fight sister

A kid died because someone was trigger happy. I think there's more to the story than what is being told. It just does not make sense a kid eating Skittles would be shot out of the random blue for being black.

When something doesn't make sense, it generally means it's not true. Could it be the kid was being a jerk? Could it be the shooter was high as a kite? There's several critical details missing and someone needs to find them out.

Instead of focusing on this guy, we should be focusing on what Trayvon's death is to remind us. Life is short. Life is precious. Cherish your children. I doubt that Trayvon wants to be remembered for the one who's murderer was left free but for who HE was.

These words could have come from my own heart. As the white mother of a 21 year biracial son I am very aware of all that you wrote. We need to try to get rid of these labels whenever possible. When asked select his race on the many forms in which this question appears, my husband likes to write "human".
Diane

Thank you on behalf of all people like me who feel exactly the same way as you do, I pray that other people will make a stand with us, only then will this world be a better place. Best Wishes, Toni in UK.

I was going to "walk on by" and not post to this. It is emotional and it is littered with guilt for something that happened that we don't have all the facts to. There is something that is BIGGER here than anything else and that is the misconception that recognizing other races helps to eliminate racism. What most people don't realize is recognizing race all the time perpetuates racism. Whether the intention is good or otherwise "you" are saying we aren't all the same as a human race. We have a billion forms that say "race" and most people will go and check off their appropriate boxes. You have labeled yourself, you have said look at me as my race, but until it is in a way you don't agree with you have no problem with that. How about we are more than the color of our skin. That is not the sum total of who we are and it is one element that makes us recognizable as an individual and not as a race of people? I don't break down my ethnicity as to make sure I'm am recognized for all the parts that make up the individual that I am. Ech time we bring race into the discussion we are making race an issue. We can't change the world and it's perceptions, but we can change ourselves and hope that it impacts others and in turn will effect change in the world. I do not see race... I see individuals, I see people, I see your actions or inactions.
For the sake of this conversation I will show you an example of what I am talking about. My son is bi-racial, but REALLY is multi racial because while society may label me white I am American Indian, French-Canandian, German and Irish... My son did NOT know he was bi-racial until about the age of 9 or 10. He found out that he was, because his friends pointed out to him. I will say I was divorced from his biological father, but it wasn't as if he encountered only "white" people (which should of if anything only made it more apparent he was "different"). We didn't make it an issue, we didn't talk about your bi-racial and I'm not. We chose to raise him in such a way that his skin color was part of what made him an individual it didn't define who he was as an individual.
Until society regards people as individuals and not members of a group we will have racism. I choose not to participate in the group mentality. I choose to remain an individual, I want my children raised to be independent, individuals and not the members of a group that they are born into and don't choose. We teach racism it is not born into us, because as children they don't see it until it is pointed out to them. Labeling individuals brings out and perpetuates racism.
So to Jen Hatmaker and all others who scream at the injustice and tell this mother I will stand with you would you have done the same to another child who didn't make the news? Do you seek out individuals who have been harmed who don't make the sensationalized news and stand with their parents?
I am all for justice and I am all for seeing that justice is sered, but let's not serve it in the court of public opinion that has rendered it's decisions based on what the news media has deemed appropriate to dole out. If he was a harmless boy that was out walking the streets and completely unprovoked the neighborhood watch gentleman shot him then justice for the boy is due. However that is for a jury with all the facts to weight out and that is for the to make this decision. Not us.
So I challenge you, I dare you the next time you fill out a form and it asks race IGNORE IT. Don't label yourself, don't label your children. Rebel at a system that was designed to label and segregate you according to group. This may seem minor, but the more and more you realize that you are an individual based on solely who you are as a person you start seeing the world in a different way. It is small changes that will begin to make a larger impact on the world. It is hard to step away sometimes and to break from what we have always done. It is liberating though. We fight the injustice of labeling. We say that I will not be "grouped", I will not be defined by the color of my skin, I will not allow someone to judge me and assume anything about me based on a trait we have no control over.
Disclaimer: Do not confuse this with a disregard for heritage and where your ancestors hail from. That is your Heritage NOT your Ethnicity. There is a difference.

As a Black woman with tears running down my cheeks : God Bless you Jen!.. You and your entire family. This is evidence that Trayvon's life will be used by God for a larger purpose than we ever imagined! Trayvon's life will be used to unite and NOT to divide! - It's God's way! - Bless you Trayvon's family!

Except that was a picture from when he was 8. Not 17 and 6 foot 3 like he was

I wish I could add something profound to what has already been said here but I don't have that ability. What I can add is I feel each and every word and sentiment posted here and I, too, would be honored to stand with Trayvon's family. If he had been white (like me and my family), Mr. Zimmerman would be sitting in jail right now and we all know that.

I can't even express into words at how well this is written and from the heart with brutal honesty. I have two grown daughters that are mixed and they too fall into this category and it makes me sick to my stomach that stereotyping is still going on. Thank you for putting into words what so many are affraid too.

Grate storry win it forst started out i was some what shoked thin i got to the last part of it and my heart sank your a good women god bless u :)

Ben to his future kids: When this happened, Grandma said something. When that happened, she took a stand. She was not silent. She was not afraid.

You are building faith and justice and strength into the very fiber of your children. You should be proud.

Thank you.

Thank you for this post. As the mother of an African American son, I cried reading this because you ACTUALLY get it. Being a African American female, I never knew racism was so bad until I had a son.

Thank you for such a beautifully written piece. God Bless you and your family!

Very well said, we ALL can make a change

Very eloquently written. Thanks for opening up!

I think we all can agree. despite the circumstances, this was a tragic loss,,warranted or not..

You are a great writer and I appreciate how well your letter was written. I have an adopted African grandson and he has adapted well into his new white family. But we fear for him and hope for the best. I too thought everything had changed, but it hasn't. We still have far to go (us white people) towards accepting and fostering the meaning of change for the minorities. I know that deep in my heart are the words I was taught as a child. I have to cleanse my mind of those nasty thoughts and bring myself forward to full acceptance of all minorities. I would never express them out loud, but still they are there deeply hidden because my family raised me that way. I have to work hard to forget all of these things. In my own Christian heart, I know exactly what is right and how I should be more Christ like. He loved everyone regardless of their skin color. My own grandson is easy to love, but I know I should love every single one. I was a teacher and always loved every single one of my students. I think getting to know people must be crucial in learning that we all are the same and we are all cable of the same feelings, hurts, accomplishments, and sharing of love! May God Bless you for writing such a great letter and educating us all in the truth!

Jen,

Thank you for the beautiful words that express the broken hearts of many of us. Others may try to soothe their hearts by placing blame on this young man, but the fact remains that an unarmed young black man - a son - was killed by an adult with a gun, and if he wasn't black, it wouldn't have happened.

This was SO beautifully written

Jen,

Thank you for this. As a mother of two small children in Southwest Louisiana, I know the perils of raising black children in this world. It is the most difficult and greatest reward. You have spoken to many parents with this beautifully written piece. Believe me, there are people who are never going to get past the fact that race has an enormous impact on the world today. There are people who were raised to fear black people and others who were raised that all white people are bad. I know that is not true. We are all human but to think that we will get over this hurdle of race is just not simple. But if we could work together to help all of our children see past the color of skin one is blessed by God with then we can start to heal the world and change some lives. Thank you for this piece.

Hopefully these beautiful words can be put into beautiful actions. I pray that Trayvon's mother reads this and reaches out. I also pray that she pays no mind to the words of ignorance in regards to the character of her baby boy. Personally, I have 3 sons - one close to Trayvon's age - and I can't even begin to imagine the pain of him going to the store and never coming home again. If, in my unimaginable grief, I had to deal with irrational and uneducated assumptions about who my child was, well, I may just scream. There is no justification for this act. None.

I don't know where some people get this ludicrous notion that Latino's are somehow exempt from racism. I'm a 3rd generation American. My maiden name is Perez - That's "Jones" south of the border. Just because we're minorities ourselves doesn't mean we are without flaws such as this. A slur is a slur - no matter who says it. It surely wasn't meant to be words of sunshine.

My heart cries out with you Jen.

I grew up in a household where equality was preached, and my parents made it very clear that equality didn't exist in this imperfect world, but that this didn't mean we shouldn't express it. It didn't mean that me and my 5 brothers and sisters weren't encouraged to completely express our need for diversity through both the amount, and the variety of friends that we had.
In highschool, (several years ago) I was asked to prom by a black boy, now a man, who I knew from another city. My parents had a lot of soul searching to do, and after many discussions they realized how much harder it was to practice what you preach when you become involved first hand.

I never knew, then, why I wasn't allowed to hang out with my boyfriend in my home town-- East Texas, until many years after.
I never knew why people would follow us in the mall.
or why, when we'd go out, be reported. Because some one thought he was attacking me.

I was devastated, that an entire world would not be able to see him as an equal human being.

Despite wether the act for Trayvon was racism, racism isn't necessarily a MOTIVE, but rather a way of thinking that is engrained into us.

I will not apologize for being a middle class white girl,
but I WOULD apologize for treating any human being, (ANY) with inequality and an air of superiority .

Awareness of the state of our culture regarding race is a very first step to take.

-With love, and Christ.
Olivia

It does go both ways, you know. My daughter is a teacher in a racially diverse classroom. She has been told (by a 2nd grader, mind you) that her momma told her she "didn't have to listen to no honkey" and refused to do as the rest of the class. And no, this is not isolated, she hears on a regular basis the hate black parents teach children about other races. You must be open minded enough to understand, blacks can be as racists as whites or hispanics.

Also, please keep in mind, Mr Zimmerman is classed as hispanic, not white. Not all whites are prejudiced, not all blacks are open minded, not all hispanics are illegal. In NY we have killings of children on a regular basis, but because it is black on black, or white on white, no one hears about it. If this had been a black man who killed this poor kid, would Jesse Jackson or any of the others be on the march? Nope. Shouldn't ALL child murders be cause for outrage?

I couldn't stop crying!!! GOD bless Trayvon's mother and father, RIP Trayvon!

Thank you for this on behalf of many mother's who share this same fear for their sons, no matter their color, age or geographic location. I pray she is comforted by your words and I pray that your son and mine and many like them will be able to see the "post-racist" America that so many have and are still fighting for. Bless you and your transparency in this letter. Prayers to the Martin family and every family that has lost their child in a senseless act of ignorance.

Jen-

It takes a lot of courage to write this, and even more courage to face these comments..some of which are flat out ignorant. As an African American mother of a bi-racial daughter, I salute you, and I stand with you. Thank you!!!

God bless you. We need the entire village and all of it's colors to make this world a better place.

VERY well spoken. I am white as well, and I agree 100%. I live in a mixed neighborhood, and it breaks my heart when I see my friends go through this. I am working in my own way in our neighborhood to try and change this, if we all do our own little part things WILL change. I truly believe that.
To Trayvon's Parents:
I lost my oldest son to a tragedy as well, though not hate and violence. I know they are in heaven together now, and I pray my son has his arm around Trayvon's shoulders and is comforting him and helping him along his way.
God Bless and be with you both.

Thank for written what were on many of our hearts, Jen.

I love the perspective your letter has come from, I love your mothers heart, I can hear your strong parenting desire and greatly admire your motherhood. Although I also fear we are unknowingly standing behind a young man who has had unfortunate history and choices that led up to this awful tragedy, this is a young man who was currently suspended from school for the 3rd time, had numerous truancies, had been caught with drug paraphernalia, suspected stolen jewelry. As a mom this is a terrible eye opener, we must continue to parent our children, even or more so as they enter and live through the teen years. Trayvon didn't deserve to have this, his family didn't deserve to grieve this. My heart and mind wonder at what point did this young mans life go awry, was is on that awful March evening, or had Trayvon been let down and given up on far before March of 2012.

No one could have said this with more love and heart felt compassion. Thank you for so eloquently expressing what so many of us feel. I don't know what Trayvon's history is, I just know that someone should not have the right to take another's life unless their life is in imminent danger. I don't believe that was the case here and I think the laws in the state that I LIVE IN should be reviewed and amended.

Our hearts go out to his grieving family.

Sharing on facebook. I pray we all join you. Thank you.

Someone told me the comments on this post have devolved, and I'm so sad to see that this is the truth. Keep your head up, Jen. You did the right thing here.

If Zimmerman had been arrested!!!! Then the Due Process could have happened. Now they are trying to assinate his character!! Shame Sssssssshame on you!!!!

Jen:
Thank you so much for sharing this. You have done the right thing by expressing your sentiment and condolences to Travyon's mother. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on what is truly happening in America.
My apologies for all of the ill-informed, negative and sometimes hateful internet users. You have a good heart.

thanks for writing this jen... i know it was honest and heartfelt. and you are dead right. something needs to occur, now, and not let this tide continue another generation.

God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us in the dreariest and most dreaded moments can see a possibility of hope...... God we are your people help us love each other for within loving each other we serve and bless your name!

Thank you for your very thorough, thoughtful and considerate letter. We need more people like you in our world. There are so few that are afraid to speak up and share their deepest feelings. Something definitely needs to be done to prevent this from ever happening to another child. I appreciate you and want you to know that I will never forget this letter and that YOU wrote it.

Hi... I am posting this to the author of the blog only, Jen Hatmaker. You have made me think. Much to consider in my own heart, and I will. Thank you...

This is BEAUTIFUL !!! I agree 100% and I will leave it at that

This is a very sensitive issue...and yes racism exists. It existed in the past, it does in the present, and it will continue to in the future. Though racism is one of the uglier forms of hate that exists in humanity...are we really that surprised that it occurs? As believers, are we that quick to forget their is a greater enemy that is sitting back, most likely with a smirk on his face, enjoying all of name calling, pointed fingers, and blame that is going around? As a Christian, how do we approach this? If we tackle this just as a race issue...will we not get the same results we have always gotten? We need more perspective...we need a Kingdom perspective on this issue. It's not just a black and white thing...It's a Heaven and Hell thing that has torn humanity apart since the Tower of Babel!!! Please hear me when I say that I am not minimizing racism...but am saying that racism is another clever, quite brilliant ruse of the enemy to keep this world as it is...as it has been since the fall. BROKEN. An obvious gap (no matter how percieved) exists...and the solution to this is Jesus. We need prayer, forgiveness, and love. We need to pray for Trayvon's family...we need to pray for Zimmerman's family...and we need to pray for the authorities in Sanford, Florida. And of course, we too need prayer...we all have been shaped from our background that have resulted in our imperfect biases and opinons. We too, need Jesus in regards to racism.
John 3:30 "He must become greater, I must become less..." Imagine if we all did this everyday!

I would like to know why you went to another country rather than adopt an African-American from the United States? I think if you were wanting an Black child we have enough here that you could have adopted one of them. I have no sympathy for you. We have many nationality children here in the US where you live who need a good home and love. I have no sympathy or understanding for you.

Dear Adoptive mother,
I wanted to buy an angel for my treetop in rememberance of my son, who I placed for adoption that same year, for my Christmas tree to honour him.
I could not find an angel of colour anywhere. I went store to store. I even looked at the Christmas store in Frankenmouth, Michigan--a very big store that sells only christmas-related items.
Not only did they not sell ethnic treetop angels, but they didn't sell ANYTHING that identified itself with people of African heritage. Or any other heritage, to be frank.
I was very disappointed. Not in the Christmas store in Frankenmouth, or any other store that sells Christmas things, but in us Caucasians. I realized that Noel season that we are trying to monopolize a universal celebration. And we have no right to, as apparently Jesus was NOT caucasian. But our churches seem to think so.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed this today.

Perhaps the problem is the fact that George Zimmerman was carrying a gun in the first place.

How come no one is bringing up gun control in this whole debate? No gun and maybe there would have been a fist fight between a boy and a man that would have resulted in stitches and a couple broken bones but everyone would have gotten to go home and nurse their wounds.

If GZ hadn't had the gun, and TM went to reach for it (it self defense or how ever it happened) this tragedy would have been avoided.

Standing and praying for Trayvon's mom and dad with you, Jen. And, I'm praying for you as you deal with the blog troll comments. Thick skin, my friend. Ah, the joys of being a passionate leader. Much love to you!!!

Loved your letter. Saw it on my friend Tucker Smallwood's facebook wall. I hope I live to see the day when no one will be an outsider, that we finally unify as a country, a world, a species...

Ms Hatmaker (the author) fails to realize that in racially diverse neighborhoods the stores have dark skinned dolls (they stock what sells in each particular store), WalMart has various colors of BandAids in racially diverse locations, Bookstores in racially diverse neighborhoods have covers with racially diverse children and the store managers are racially diverse in racially diverse neighborhoods. And one last thing Ms Hatmaker, you are not judge

Thanks so much for posting this. It was beautiful!

Well no one is going to know the truth if we don't get to here it come out in court. I don't care what color the participants were if we don't know what happened then we don't know how to proceed. This is still America where you are innocent until proven guilty. Get the witnesses gathered up and take their statements and release the evidence to let everyone know what they saw. If it was an act of the shooter being out of line arrest him. If as he says he was attacked and was fighting for his life then leave him alone. The main point is get the real facts of the case and quit all the posturing and hyping. As Joe Friday would say the facts, just the facts folks!

This brought tears to my eyes, I have never been subject to racism myself but this is a beautiful

EVERYONE is using this "PERSONAL" story as a forum for more racial propaganda and honestly there is a lot of stupidity circulating on these comments. You disrespectful and negative people need to check your facts before you put out such ridiculous statements. You DO not know if he was a "drug dealer" "gang member" or anything else. Please stop making this a forum for stupidity. YOU also know nothing about zimmerman. Supposed "facts" are leaking out and these days even with the news we do not know what is FACT or FICTION. This woman is writing about her own personal experience. You can not judge her for that~ better yet you SHOULD NOT judge her for that. You have your opinion, I have mine~ but this is about her reflection and what this tragedy has taught her. PLEASE stop making it about YOU!! There are hate crimes everywhere. There was just a few weeks ago a muslim grandmother found beaten to death in her home in San Diego. YES a hate crime- YES no one is talking about that. BUT that doesn't mean this persons experience is not relevant or important.
PLEASE use your time for good~ not to slander this woman writing the story or Trayvon's mother or anyone else. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Beautiful. Thank you for your boldness!

WOW!!! This isn't a racial issue, being that Zimmerman is more Mexican than White... I'm just glad you could read between the lines of the facts that are out... When listening to the 911 call it was clear that Zimmerman was racial profiling... So I tip my hat to you for your thoughts and kind words... No-one knows what it feels like until they have lost their son the same way... However, I believe Zimmerman had an alternative motive when he chose Trayvon that night... The witnesses (TWO WHITE WOMEN) have came forward and said Zimmerman was not in fear of his life, not to mention the 911 recordings of not only Zimmerman's call, but the other neighbors as well... The FACTS are clear... Trayvon didn't have a criminal record at all, but Zimmerman had a violent past that lead to not one, but two arrest... So what other evidence is needed... IGNORANCE is a bliss... Thank you for not being bias and really looking at the facts and pouring your heart out... Not because you have BLACK children, but because you are a Mother and a person who cares... Thanks again Jen...

Thk u for this Jen! I have two boys also. It feels good to hear this and feel your heart through these words. I cried through reading this. From one mother to another I thank u a million times just for your words. It really means alot. Im black, but see us no different. We have the same feelings. U are my sister. I pray Gods blessings over you and your family.

WOW this made me cry but yet I know exactly where she is coming from. Growing up I didn't know black, white, brown etc, I just knew my classmates names. Regardless of want some think, RACE is STILL an issue. I live in Texas

Thank you, Jen, for such a thoughtfully written letter. We are white parents raising multi-racial kids also. I never knew about the "black male code" until I worked and became good friends with one of our top supervisors, who happened to be a black man raising 2 black sons. He told us about the perils of DWB, or Driving While Black, and how a black driver can get pulled over at any time for any reason. He explained that every black man knows the feel of the police officer's foot on the back of their neck, while their face is on the asphalt after they were pulled over for being in the wrong place at the wrong time - just driving in their mostly white neighborhoods. I have watched those young sons grow up, always while living in the "nice" suburbs. They are now young men, and their lessons from their dad have helped, so that they didn't argue when pulled over that they were doing nothing wrong, and didn't argue that the police were being too rough. They kept their mouths closed and followed orders. They are very fine, college-educated men now. But that still happens, and it pains me greatly.

As others may think there is no real racial prejudice against our president, I point to the new bumper stickers that say, "Don't Re-Nig in 2012". The woman who came up with that believes she's not a racist, either. We all need God's help and prayers. Bless you, Jen, for bringing more light to this issue.

WOW! Nicely written! The only comment I have is this....Please refer to OUR President as President Obama and not Mr. Obama or Obama. We never did call President Bush Mr. Bush while he was in office. Please and THANK YOU!

This made me cry. I am japanese and white and have african american mixed little girls. Its making me upset that people keep talking bad about a 17 year old boy. Hes not the one who murdered anyone. I hope that this case will open the eyes to some of America that is unaware of whats still happening in America today. For all the ignorant people left posting negative comments about trayvon or this case may god bless them. All we can do is pray for them. I truly believe that justice will be served in due time. God bless Flordia's justice system.

Whoa, quite a different sort of responses you've got here on this post! Clearly we have room for a whole lot of hurt here. Wow. That the responses are arguing about marijuana bags and age and appearance... wow... I pray the Lord will bring beauty for ashes, and strength for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair. (Even some of your readers' responses could make me want to despair, so I can only imagine how frustrated you must be!)

We have so much need to pray for the Lord's Kingdom to come on earth as it is in Heaven.

And, I think it might be worth sharing that I always notice skin color. AH! She said what? I do. It's beautiful. Would I not want to notice the beautiful color of a flower God made? I'm kinda excited to see what exact color I get to be in heaven!

Anyone else think its a little overboard here? Really, you have a black or bi-racial child and you fear for their lives? Any excuse to feel extreme pitty on yourselves. You are basically raising YOUR children to fear and hate whites. Ya, because we are so well known for strolling the streets and killing innocent people. Look in the mirror. Also, how does this get more sympathy and attention than our war? If there was this much thought put into the lives lost since 2003, the war would've ended.

Loved this beautiful letter. I grew up in an all-Norwegian descent rural area. My brothers and I, with our dark hair, brown eyes, and native American features were the minority. The only kids who talked to me on my t-ball team were the other two kids in town who didn't fit in - two of the smartest, handsomest boys. They also happened to be Latino. I have actually thanked God that Mexican immigrants are now flooding our area to farm so my own children won't suffer the same amount of ostracism.

It takes bravery to stand up for something like this. Your comments section is hopping with good and bad! I just wanted to stop and say thank you for sharing this.

I am a 6'7" white guy...My son is autistic and looks as if he will be as tall or taller than his dad. I read this with a conflicted heart. This article was obviously heartfelt and filled with an outpouring of love and shared fears that all parents have if something were to happen to their children.

What I really dont understand is why racism is overshadows everything in this article. My son is special and sometimes when he has issues in public people look at him in fear or disgust because he is different than most other kids. I guess when I look at the things that you linked in your blog I am wondering why it just had to be blackcentric. That just feeds into racism in its own way. I didnt see one thing in it that I would not teach my son even though he is white.

I have white friends with tatoos and facial piercings and guess what, they are followed by store security simply because they look different. Is that racism too? There is nothing that is said by this article that wouldnt be truth for all races but this form of racism is accepted because you accept the victim label for minority groups. I am not stupid. Racism exists but I have seen it from both sides. Living in a predominately black neighborhoods at some times in my life I can guarantee you that black racism against whites is alive and well, but that cant be confronted because whites cant be victims. I guess since I have worked hard for everything that I have in my life I don't understand your white guilt. I am not racist simply because I am white and neither are you. WE are part of the solution...raising the next generation with less racism than the one before it. It will be a slow process but that is the only way to change things.

I guess what disappoints me the most is that as Christians I have heard all of the outpouring of love and prayers for the family of this youth, but I have yet to see one cry in the midst of the desert to pray for GZ and his family. I have prayed and begged for God to comfort the family of Trayvon, but according to God's word and the values that I hold most dear I pray for GZ and his family as well. Pray for your enemies and since everyone in the world has made GZ into public enemy number 1 for this I beg you to pray for him as well as trayvon's family.

Pray that GZ faces justice but not persecution. Pray that he seeks forgiveness and pray for his safety in the face of the mob that is ready to cast those first stones. Pray for his family and their safety and comfort as well.

Pray for Trayvon's family. That they receive comfort from the only source that can bring them comfort, God the Father. Pray that they seek justice and not violence. Pray for them to have the strength to grant forgiveness if it is sought. Pray for their protection from those that would use this tragedy for their own purposes.

Pray for the police. They obviously have mishandled things and are being crucified for it. Pray that they do their best to correct any mistakes and execute their duty to uphold the law.

Pray for the New Black Panthers. Pray that they rescind their bounty that is only making a bad situation worse.

Pray for the predators that are looking to profit from this horrific situation either politically or monetarily that every effort they make to exploit Trayvon fails for them.

I don't pretend to know what happened nor can the outcome be changed for Trayvon at this point but don't let color blind you to the needs of everyone involved because then racism will have truly won.

Thats was very nice. God Bless

What ALL these haters have failed to remember, this is Jen's personal opinion. You don't have to agree with and don't have to be negative or hateful. For me I got so much more out of her blog. Its not all about the baby dolls, etc. I got that as a human being we need to do so much more against racism no matter what color or nationality that we are. Not everyone is going to agree on what happened to this young boy but YOU can make changes within your lives to stop the hate!! Love you Jen. You are an inspiration through and through. Keep your head up love!! Love u tons!!

Jen, one of the things I love most about you is the courage God gives you to write what you need to write with no holds barred. Your compassion is moving and convicting. I disagree in that I don't feel this is a race issue, and given Zimmerman's record this incident could have happened with a person of any color. But your words are beautifully written and i certainly hope that T's mom sees this. Thank you.

Whatever happened to "Love your neighbor as you love yourself". If we all did that, we wouldn't have any haters. Just sayin'....

You are not innocent of the way of the world and you inflame and incite when you use the word "murder" in describing this incident because you then become part of what the debate is all about. You must make the assumption that GZ was not attacked, in order to use this word in describing this incident. That means no assault could have taken place from TM. But you could not know if that was true or not-you simply do not know. That means you are willing to believe the worst of someone you have never met without all the facts and accept the beliefs about another person you know nothing about, the result is you call GZ a murderer. An assumption BECAUSE YOU CANNOT KNOW HOW IT DID HAPPEN and not knowing is assuming. Going one step further you say that he did this because he is racist-and he is racist-why? Because he is a member of nation of racists that follow every young person of color and assume they are suspicious. You do not know this man or the content of his character or his heart. But wait- you have been to Target and they don't have baby dolls of color.GZ is representative of a culture that is be willing to gun down anyone of color in a hoodie based on your awakening from your "white bread" coma or fantasy existence (you should try Kmart or Toys R Us- they have babies of color in plentiful numbers and it would have saved you a good cry). This second assumption is about GZ since you have never met GZ. Even if he shot unprovoked you still have to assume he did it because he is racist since you cannot know his motivations. Most of the facts that you have in regard to the TM/GZ tragedy are assumptions. You seem to have little need for the actual facts in which to come to the conclusion that your son will be followed, suspected, told who he can and cannot date in wholesale condemnation of our society. A society that isn't really "post racial" after all. I am multi-racial myself and I have worked in predominately African American neighborhoods as a retail manager. I have seen the differences in the marketing and merchandising in these areas (and it is strictly based on what will sell). I have also been on the victim’s end of a gun held by 2 young african american males that just happened to be wearing hoodies since it was winter when they stole my truck. I don't believe from that incident that all young african american males are car thieves or that all "hoodie wearing" african american males are suspicious. As a matter of fact I believe it was just a couple of kids getting a joyride since they abandoned it 2 hours later. As hard as it is for you to believe I judge a person only after I have known that person which is more than you are willing to do for GZ. When you speak of this society in terms of "systemic racism" I become offended. I know people of all racial backgrounds and have seen harmony and acceptance on most levels. We as a nation were willing to put aside our feelings of division and mandate a person of color to be the ruler of the free world. I do not see how anyone can feel that systemic racism exists, flourishes and destroys children as it puts a man of color in charge of its entire structure. I think you are wrong and more importantly I think you are dangerous. You speak with passion and emotion and not much reason about assumptions and rumors without many facts to come to solid conclusions. These are key ingredients for inciting people to wrongheaded actions. Why not show your adopted children some real courage and use this as a real blog. Post the developments as they happen both supportive AND nonsupportive of your opening "racist" accusation. Give some redirection to sites dedicated to incidents and ways to achieve racial harmony and equality instead of only "racial issues" sites. I really don't care if you’re offended but your racial apologist pabulum serves no one and will make no one better off.

Jen,

Your transparency is beautiful, and your feelings are your feelings. They are valid. There is no right or wrong to them, because they are feelings, not truths. You are courageous and God is using you in an awesome way, even if some of it stings a little. Think of all the people who are reading your blog and will perhaps be led to other things you've written (and maybe even that wonderful God book you go on and on about!) as a result of this. I dare say this might be the largest sharing of your blog ever. Well done! You've got us thinking, and talking, and sharing.

It's so much easier to love people who are like-minded, regardless of their skin color or other differences, than it is to love people filled to the brim with ignorance, hatred and condescension, but alas, God says we must love them as well, because He does. You model that in a real and vibrant way. Thank you for above all else, being real.

Bottom line is there racism in America? All I can say is, As long as there are different types/races/ethnicity of people in America there will be racism from all sides.

Fallen world.....

Hearing the buzz, I had to check out this latest version of white guilt. Some guy named Scott getting shanked for bringing logic to an emotional post...at least it was a relative coming to the defense...husband I'd guess. Still, no reason for everybody to get so jazzed. The entire essay is full of sweeping statements and unfair generalities. But hey, it makes the author feel better, so there you go. Excellent prose though, you can't argue that she can't write.

Great post! and as you see, anyone who tries to explain or understand what minorities endure are subject to the same treatment! Most of us try to raise our sons to be respectful, productive citizens in the world but some people can't stand to that.

God bless your family.

Thank you, Brandon, for your voice of reason, and for supporting your wife. She wrote a beautiful, thought-provoking letter. Some of the posts just prove Jen's point of how far we still have to go.

Thank you Jen!

What a beautiful son you have! Such light and love in his eyes. And what a beautiful son Trayvon was. As a teacher of many beautiful children, I am perplexed that anyone would say that a 17-year-old boy should be shot, or it is OK for him to be shot because he was aggressive (which may or may not be true--he does not have the chance of a trial). I am in front of aggressive teens every day, yet at no point in time have I ever thought of shooting one. No child deserves to be gunned down. I think that those who are decrying you for mentioning race are presenting an ironic argument. If we overlook race, he is still a 17-year-old unarmed boy. I stand with you--for the love of all children, red and yellow, black and white. I stand as a mother, a teacher, and as one who loves my children and others' children.

Beautiful sentiment.

Wow! What a wonderfully written commentary!! I grew up with Dawn... whose had the son who asked the white girl to prom. Standing with her as she went through that was eye opening! And now learning more and more about Trayvon's story. Why can't we, as adults, be as innocently color-blind as our children? And how can we prevent our children from accepting and tolerating the 'norms' of our society? Thank you for sharing your heart!

Jen, I applaud you for writing this. It's like reading the story of someone waking up. I see that some others who would rather hold onto their privilege are pushing back. They don't want someone to say these things because it makes it harder for them to deny reality. Stay strong, keep moving forward!

I've been grappling with the whole mess in my head since it happened and have yet to come up with anything resembling a coherent philosophical stance married with the magic wand of Aristotle, the placid calm of the Dalai Lama, and the practical know how of the Havamal to form an unbreakable and untrollable alloy for the neterati who ALWAYS seem to be at the gates like Huns. Cause I'd like to do just that and be some sage who could hammer out a nifty prosaic roadmap for everyone in 400 words or less. Follow the signs to the inevitable and hindsight bias inducing conclusion!
Maybe get myself invited to an NPR fund raiser. Get my name on a tote bag. Hang out with Wayne Dyer.
But, all I have are my feelings too, which are as conflicted and dismayed as yours, Jen.

Here's what I have so far:

It's a shame Trayvon was killed. It's a shame George killed him.
Shame because I don't know enough of the evidence to call it a tragedy or a regrettable justification (which would still be a tragedy). I know there's one mama who will never talk to her son again, and another that is probably terrified that her son will be in jail the rest of his life.
There's no creamy center in this one, regardless of how it plays out from here. At least there isn't one I can discern, and I have years of experience finding creamy centers.

None of us immediately and perfectly grasp a situation. We have to find a hand or foothold. We look for a way to just kind of hang on until the room quits spinning. In the process we find anger and sadness and dismay. Maybe we channel it incorrectly and make Jesus or the Buddha or Thor or our great granny facepalm as they look upon us.
And that's okay. Wisdom is a process that requires screw ups. Otherwise, the mechanism of and emphasis upon things like forgiveness and compassion wouldn't be.

The whole thing is a big freaking mess. It's okay to call it that and admit there aren't any easy answers as evidence is gathered and then released. We're all reacting, including the people that look like haters here and elsewhere.

Don't take the trolls and critics and sycophants (especially the sycophants) too seriously.

We're all stumbling around with our blame fingers out, and it's no wonder if some of us get poked in the eye on accident.

But, I have a hard time believing that the path of love is the wrong one, so I suppose that I'll point my feet that way too.

It's brave of you to feel out loud, and even braver to do it in print at the mercy of the merciless here on the web. But, you seem to still be alive and kicking, so I guess you're pretty tough.

Oh dear Jesus. Help us all.

Now they are saying the kid was beating the guys head into the concrete. All the facts are not out yet, but perhaps he wasn't just carrying a pack of Skittles. I agree with one of the first comments: Let's not turn this into a race issue. BTW: We are in the processing of adopting from Ethiopia. I looked high and low for a decent black baby doll for our firstborn daughter. It wasn't easy.

Thanks for a thoughtful commentary on what's it like to be white. We've never walked in their black shoes, lived in their black neighborhood, had to watch a black back because someone was following us, and if it has happened to you as a white person, it's not for the same reasons. I come from the deep South and I know racism, and this letter to Trayvon's mother is the right and decent thing to do. It still happens in the South, to blacks, to women, to Jews, to anyone who isn't cut and dried white, most probably with a red neck. I'm sorry if this is offensive to anyone, but people wake up . . . the only one not judging by the color of anyone's kin is the Good Lord above!

To: "Travon"

You are "Zimmerman"! You are the reason young INNOCENT African Americans, like me, have to feel uneasy about attempting to live a normal life. How can you be so blatantly disrespectful? She was not apologizing for being white! She was apologizing for being blind to the fact that African Americans continue to face racism still to this day. Our own schools? We fought for schools to be segregated and we accomplished that. Our own schools? Name an educational institution created by African Americans who would not accept a Caucasian. Can you?! I highly doubt it! Our own welfare system? Im sorry but where i'm from there is just as many whites utilizing the welfare system as blacks, if not more! I, a 21 year old AFRICAN AMERICAN female, have never reaped a single benefit of any welfare system, nor have my parents! Our own music? What? Hip-hop, R

This was wonderfully written! Iam to a white woman but ive been known racism wasnt dead. I have been attracted to black men for as long as i can remember and growing up i was not "aloud" to date them because "they were nasty"...but i still did what i wanted and i still dated who i wanted. Im glad that it has come to your attention what the world is really like. You have no idea how many people i know that say oh im not racist...but the craziest, most racist stuff comes out their mouths and i just feel soo uncomfortable! I have to say something to them cuz i dont want to be around that mess. I understand where u are coming from with the baby doll situation. I never really noticed how there wasnt any black baby dolls in the store growing up but once i grew up and had my 3 mixed babies i relized its hard to find them. I feel so much heart ache for Trayvons mother! I have a son and even tho he is mixed, you can still tell he is black. it just breaks my heart to know that when he gets older he might have to deal with this situation. What if he is walking home with a hoodie on...will he look suspicious. And no im not saying i know what black men and woman go through because i am a white woman...i will never truly feel how they feel, but concerding who iam married to(a black man) i see what he has to go through and its horrible.I just want to put out there that anyone who defends GZ talking about we dont really know what happened..its a bunch of bull! TM might have fought off GZ but the facts are still there ppl! George was following Trayvon first! If some strange, older, bigger man is following me, i will fight back to! At the end of the day trayvon had nothing on him and george had a gun! Also, on the survelience(sp) tape of GZ getting out of the police car, he had NO blood on the back of his head nor his nose! Its hard not to say this is about race! because the only reason GZ pursuid him was because he was a black kid wearing a hoodie! TM was a john doe for 3 days because the police just assumed he was there to rob someone! Now u tell me that isnt about race...and no im not saying its all just black and white, its everywhere hate crimes everywhere! But in this perticular situation, it is black on white and thats what i experience more in my life, with the looks me and my husband get. So for the certain people who think "racism is dead" ur just blind to whats truly going on. Racism is very much alive just like it has always been and will continue to be.

Thank you Jen. Thought provoking and beautifully written.

In case you are still confused: http://carissasrants.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/howtotalktopeopleaboutthetrayvonmartincase/

I am thankful to hear that you are now more sensitive to racial problems and discrimination that still exists in this country. I believe your heart was in the right place, but I am sad that you were not fully informed of the facts before you put them in a public blog. The tapes were played over and over and many independent sources, like CNN and NYTimes and many others reviewed the same tapes and scores of their staff never heard the racial slur or even anything closely resembling the racial slur claimed to have been heard. By all of these facts presented to date, it is HIGHLY a possibility that this 6'3" seventeen year old young man (and notice I did not call him black) was acting erratically, a nervous neighborhood watch person (and notice I did not call him half hispanic/half white) called 911 and reported him and turned around and walked away after he was told to by the 911 operator. He called for police to come review the situation. He was then....somehow.... approached by the young man, beaten so severely in the face that it broke his nose, was thrown to the ground, beaten some more, feared for his own life, and pulled out the gun. Tragedy followed. He is now being treated for severe post traumatic stress and other terrible things that no one would ever wish upon themselves. He cannot eat. He cannot sleep. He is DEVASTATED by the turn of events. Could this have occurred in other hypothetical situations...we can ask ourselves all day and night what "we" would have done differently. We can "put ourselves in his shoes" all we want, but we really are not in his shoes and probably never will be. Nor will our own children be in just the same shoes that young man was in. So it's really hateful and fruitless to put ourselves there in public blogs....in any of the sets of shoes that were actually involved. But the facts ring true. The neighborhood watchperson had grass and wetness on his back from lying on the ground as he was beaten. The young man was not beaten in his face or his body as the neighborhood watchperson was beaten mercilously. Yes, a person is dead and it is more than sad. It is devastating. Nothing you say or write about racism or injustice or calling for a scalp to be taken will turn this terrible tragedy into anything that makes sense. It was a tragedy. But what you do write can insight riots. It can produce hate instead of love. And to imply some sense of nobility as you write it is just sad. It matters not if your children are black or white or mixed or anything else. Tragedy is tragedy. And the fact of the matter is....it doesn't have a color. And to assign it a color to promote some sort of agenda is to take away the true nature of the tragedy which is the loss of ANY human life. The death of a black young man is no more a tragedy than a hispanic young man's death, or even (gasp!) a white young man's death in the same circumstances. To make this young man's death a battle cry for an entire race of people is so sad to me. So hang who you must on your blog. Call for people to be outraged and insight hatred of all kinds to continue in the name of nobility. In the end, it could have easily been you or me. And since you don't know what color I am, I would hope that my death in such a manner would have been seen as a tragedy, and not as a platform for millions to turn against each other based upon the color of my skin. If people truly understood the depth of God's love and mercy, we would not have all of this hate lingering. Jesus the Lamb of God would not have written on public blogs calling for "justice". He would be visiting the one person who's life still remains in that situation....he would surely embrace him and love him, and he would forgive him. That is the Jesus I know. The neighborhood watchperson has a mother, too. Who wishes to comfort her. I know Jesus will.

The only thing worse than racism. A false accusation of racism. It perpetuates lies.

Phil 4:8 says "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

This is a great reminder to us not to rush to judgement.

A few notes
- Zimmerman is a democrat hispanic
- Zimmerman and his wife tutor minorities (including black kids)
- One of Zimmerman's best friends is Black
- Zimmerman cried for days after the shooting
- Zimmerman's job as neighborhood watch was too look for suspicious/unknown characters
- There had been a series of break-ins in the neighborhood
- Trayvon was not this small little innocent 12 year as seen in the picture. He was a 6'2" 17 year old

My guess is this was a horrible/tragic series of misunderstandings having nothing to do with race. If we as a society seriously want to move on from the racism that muddles the waters of our past then we have to quit looking for race in every motive. Are there racist in this country, absolutely. Every time a white guy kills a black guy or vice versa is it a matter of racism, absolutely not.

One other note, Jen you talk about how blind you were to how "white" our society is and how saddened you were by that. If you're really saddened by that then you have to be mad at capitalism not white people. Capitalism is run by "majority rules" and the fact remains that America is made up of 72% white people and 12% black people. Every body wants equal representation in all forms but the truth of the matter is that as a manufacturer you're going to always play to your biggest audience. Take dolls for instance - you can easily find blonde and brunette dolls but red heads are more rare - why? Because red heads only make up 4% of our society. People buy things that they can relate to and again capitalism plays to majority. Does that mean that the manufacturers are anti red heads. No! It means that they're trying to make the most money they can and they're not going to produce equal amount red head dolls to try to "look good" because they won't sell equal amount of red head dolls and they're go out of business. One other reason why you won't find dark skinned dolls in your Wal-Mart is because you live in a predominately white community. Go to a predominately black community and you'll find them there. Again that's Capitalism at work.

With all of that said I can appreciate the new perspective that you're experiencing, however I think it's a stretch and inappropriate to relate those feelings to this case. Zimmerman might have been guilty of an unjust death but based on his life, his acquaintances and his response to the death (crying for days) he's not a racist. And once again the only thing worse than a racism is a false accusation of racism. Let's not perpetuate a lie about someone especially when we don't have all the facts, all we have is emotions and speculation.

I'd be interested in knowing what your thoughts are on the latest news coming out that is confirmed by an eye witness that Trayvon was the one beating Zimmerman and Zimmerman's claim that Trayvon approached him and started the altercation?

Band aids? Really? The biggest problems facing African Americans in this country are black-on-black crime and the disintegration of family. Not racism.

Jen,
I’m not an avid follower of your posts but have read several posts before this one and have enjoyed each one (your Christmas post was a life-changer in our house). I must say that I was pretty disappointed in this most recent post though. Not because of your sympathy for the black population but for your application to this case. For someone who claims to strike while the iron is tepid, it seems like you jumped onto this bandwagon a bit premature. I guess the reason why I took so much offense to this is because I feel like George Zimmerman’s name could have very easily been replaced with my husband’s name. Let me tell you why:
A few years ago, my husband and I lived in a bad neighborhood in Orlando, FL. The area known as “pine hills” was appropriately referred to as “crime hills”. My husband is someone who loves to help others, especially those in need. This passion for the helpless has actually led to a career as a police officer. (though at the time of this incident, he was a mechanic) One night as he was changing his oil, two men approached him with a gun and demanded his money. By God’s pure grace (and an intimidating dog) they did not come in the house and my husband was not harmed. The police came, the helicopters came, the dogs came, but the two men got away. Three nights later, the men retuned to a neighbor a few houses down. Same story, worse results. The men beat up this neighbor pretty badly. Police, helicopters, dogs, no search results. For a few weeks after that, my husband and I would drive around the neighborhood (in our SUV) looking for these men or anyone looking suspicious. Yes we had a gun in the car (we always do—even the cops understood why when we told them where we lived). Had we found the two men (who were black) we most likely would have wanted to trail them until the police arrived to make sure they didn’t get away again. Isn’t that what George Zimmerman did?
Are you aware that there had been burglaries GZ’s neighborhood leading up to this incident? Are you also aware that some of the suspects’ descriptions actually matched that of Treyvon? (DEFINITELY not saying that Treyvon did any of those crimes) Could it be that GZ, like my husband, was simply trying to put a stop to the crime in his neighborhood? Might I also add that if my husband were attacked, like GZ claims he was, and if he was on the ground getting the crap beat out of him like GZ and two witnesses claim (and like the 911 call verifies), then there is a good chance that that situation could have also ended in the tragic way it did for Treyvon. Then, my husband would be called a racist and murderer not only by the media but by his brothers and sisters in Christ, like you. What if it’s true that George Zimmerman wasn’t stalking Treyvon because he was black but was just trying to do his part to keep the families in his neighborhood safe? What if the only reason Treyvon seemed suspicious to him was because he matched the description of people that had been terrorizing his neighborhood?
I’m not saying that GZ is completely innocent but I won’t say that he’s a racist and a murderer without knowing all of the facts. Sadly, I’m disappointed that you would.

Well, after looking through the vast amount of comments on here, can I just ask us all to take a collective deep breath?

Jen, thank you for what you wrote. I understand the situation is complicated and that there are many different viewpoints, but in the end, it is from a mother written to a mother who is suffering from a terrible injustice. Period.

So, ready? Breathe in.... breathe out....

To Dave: Obedience is better than sacrifice being that said if Zimmerman had obeyed the 911 operator Trayvon would still be alive today point blank but he wanted to play superhero. Trayon did nothing wrong in defending himself against a stalker! this is common sense???

As a young black woman to a white woman, thank you :). I am a product of this world, the type of person you spoke of. I have been trained by my family to change my tone, my speech, my walk, to change me really, every time I enter a room with white people in it-because it is important that they not feel threatened by me. I've been taught by the world to keep my arms just slightly aloft while shopping so that the security guards watching/following me know that I'm not stealing. I am the first black student in 17 years in the graduate program in the department of Zoology at my school where I'm a year away from my PhD and I'm often called a "credit to my race," at the same time as they treat me like an outsider. I am half white by the way, though I consider myself black. The white half of my family disowned my mother when she birthed her first black baby and refused to meet me until just years ago. And yet, I do not attribute the entire white race with this type of hatred- after all, that too, would be stereotyping!

I too am outraged by this situation, just like everyone else, but I am not surprised-I've lived with these types of tragedies for too long. I pray that your children, and those that I plan to have, will live in a world better than the one we live in, but I have my doubts. And so, like me, my children will have to be taught how to live as a black person. They must be taught to handle racism/stereotyping, no matter who it comes from.

I have no doubts that you will teach your children to be proud. I hope that you can teach them not to succumb to the stupidity of others. Most of all, I hope that they will never need these "extra lessons" that many of us have had to receive. This was beautiful and I appreciate you speaking out. I will most assuredly be sharing this. God bless you!!!

amen.

I have to tell you how wonderful this is. Very moving. Thank you for writing this. I hope you don't mind I linked to it at my new blog: MomsforTrayvon.com (started with the ok of Martin family PR).

More voices like yours need to be heard.

Jen,

I love your heart for adoption. And I love your love for Trayvon’s family and for yours. And I love your heart for racial unity. And I love your heart for the Lord.

Those are all so beautiful.

But part of me is also concerned.

I can’t help but think of Philippians 4:8 – to think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. Now whether or not Zimmerman did that is one issue. But that’s not the issue we answer for. We of course answer for our thoughts.

Now I know this may sound extreme. But negatively defining a person by telling them what they are, what they think, and what their motives are is a pretty intense thing. You may well be aware that it’s actually called verbal abuse. http://doublehockeysticks.com/2012/01/31/my-heart/ Now what Zimmerman did or did not do, again, is his. But what we do is ours before the Lord.

We may never be sure exactly what happened and exactly what the motives were. But what is for sure is of course our Lord. And what is for sure is His command to us. He tells us to think things that are true – actually, factually true. And he tells us to think things that are noble – what is a possible noble explanation?

Again, what is ours to answer is not whether Zimmerman did this. What is ours to answer before the Lord is whether we have pure, noble thoughts – including in our assessment of George and his motives.

Andy Stanley unpacks this thinking well as he talks about 1 Corinthians 13 love: http://www.northpoint.org//messages/life_apps/part-5.

I am absolutely saddened about Trayvon’s death and for his family. My hope is that in our emotions, we would still honor God’s Word and His creations – all of them! : )

Much love to you and your family.

Bigotry happens in every race, religion, etc. Yes, it is a tragedy. But I do not despise my own race because another race has experienced discrimination. I am part Cherokee. Ever heard of the trail of tears? My ancestors immigrated from Europe, doubtless to escape persecution religiously or ethnically. Bigotry is a global problem, and we must do our best to solve the problem without pointing fingers at any one race, color or creed. Very lovely article, however. No race should be made to feel guilty for wanting to marry into their own race and preserve racial purity, nor should anyone be made to feel guilty if they desire an interracial marriage. It is a hard question. Why? "He that is without sin, let him cast the first stone."

Thank you for at least trying to understand and for admitting that racism still exists. It took a strong person to do what you did and I applaud you! Enough said. I pray that noone else has to go thru what Trayvon's mother is going thru, but we all know sadly, that it will happen again. All we can do as a HUMAN race is pray for each other, at all times. We know that children are not born racist, they are taught to be racist children who grow up to be racist adults and that is a sad reality. I pray that everyone else who reads her lettter understands what she is trying to say and not attack her for being honest. I commend Jen and her family, because she has put her family out there for CRAZIES who may want to retaliate because she wrote the letter. I pray that God continues to strengthen and keep her and her family and I pray for peace and understanding for all of us. I pray that others GET it just as Jen did. God Bless!

I do not think this makes much sense. I work daily with people from dozens of countries and a wide variety of pigment levels. At a certain point a human being just begins participating in humanity. I am very happy you adopted kids from an impoverished area, but poverty knows no genetics.

Band Aids are not one color. We buy dolls of all colors for kids in our neighborhoods. There are other places to shop than Walmart or Target.

The glaring flaw in this post is a burden of guilt that the author is attempting to dump on other people as if we are collectively racist. That is patently ridiculous. Just go out there and be a charitable and hospitable person. This kind of faux activism just makes it seems like Black kids need more help than other kids. Go out there and grab as many as your finances permit, whatever color they are is irrelevant.

KONY 2012

Im a black male from the state of GA, God bless you mom for the story ,it just let's me know there a still good people in the USA, to bad there are still so many nuts who still hate others

Jen, Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your words to Trayvon's mother. Our world is in a sad state.

Well written! First off all, the gift of adoption is something special. We have a 5 year old daughter from Vietnam. God brought her to us in 2008. While I don't agree with everything you said in this, I respect your point of view, but I just do not agree with some statements. I am not sure where you live or what Target you shop, but I see Asian, Hispanic, white and black dolls all over the place and yes at Target. Not sure maybe they were all sold out? Hmm...Band-Aids in one color? Again strange. While I will not pass judgement like many are about this case and basically trying to convict the man prior to his day in court, it makes me sick that people are marching in the street just because a young black man was killed. Hard to say if I recall this happening in the reverse. http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/article_5facf0f8-6b62-11e0-a889-0019bb30f31a.html. Look here, was this racial? You decide. White on black, black on white, yellow on blue, it happens all the time and yes it is sad, but who says this is a racism case? Have not seen that. Are some crimes race based. Yes. But some are not. What we have are charged up citizens fueled by the likes of Al Sharpton et. al. Anyway this is just huge time bomb waiting to explode into riots. Sad...

As evidenced by the comments beneath this beautifully-written, thoughtful, and brutally honest post, we need more people like you to help us heal. Thank you so much.

Just found your blog today, and you won me over to reading your blog on this post alone. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing. It's not popular for white people to speak out on racism, but it must be done! Thanks for your courage.

Wow! All of you people are missing the damn point. Your turning this into a racial war. All black people LOVE martin luther king. Well hed be very disapointed if he were he today. "I had a dream that black and white people come together"- why celebrate martin luther kng day? Theres no need too. Clearly we havent come together. And Ill tell you why. Trayvon Martin story is no longer about him and his death. Its about blacks vs. whites. The martin page is pretty much a place to bash white people. His mother is sending the wrong mesage along with cnn and yahoo. Everyone. It should not matter that Trayvon was black. Just like it ahould not matter that Zimmerman is spanish. An innocent life was taken thats all that should matter. If his mother wants to make a differnece in the world and protect people of all race then send the right message. Its not about skin color. Skin color should no exist. Trayvons mom- try to make peace. You have the attention of many people. Use it. Because the one ad only reason why racism is still around between all races is because its allowed. CNN saya oh black man died and on white man died. During every news cast or newspaper the color of skn is involved. That shouldnt be the case. Dont teach your kids there is a difference between black people and white people. Refer to people as people and not by color. Otherwise, this world will be a giant wall of hate against race.

Chad you make me sad. Get real.

I wish every white person would open their eyes like you Jen. Thank you for the post. I truly fear for my future black son.

Like the book "The color of water'' a white mom prays for her son not to be harmed by criminals and the police.The perception of law enforcement is different depending on who the individual is.My sons white assistant principal complained of my son wearing pants low.I admonished my son to please don't call attention to himself as to he's ALREADY black.assistant responded''Don't say that and make him think the police are his enemy''I spoke of innocent unarmed black males in the news that were killed.his response,''They must have done something to cause it''i responded he was speaking like a true''all American''white male.sickens me,the ignorance.Does any white mom upon delivering a boy have the thought i had looking down at my newborn''Did i have you for someone to hurt you?''as my 12 year old autistic son who is cognitively 4 years old grows past 5''4 and has temper tantrums,i decided to start on meds,to control adhd and tantrums mainly...don't want his temper tantrum to be misconstrued as usual ''He tried to resist'' he has already been grilled with visible hatred by a police officer who's supposed to ''serve and protect'' for flapping,which autistic kids do.My 20 year old walking home at 1 am from restaurant followed by police car questioned if he had any guns or weapons,after responding no.one pointed finger at him and made gesture of shooting then blew the tip of his finger laughed and drove off.who's gonna protect the innocent black males from licensed assassins.18 year old Bronx boy murdered in front of his grandma police kicked in door cause he ran.was revealed they lied neighbor let them in.child was trying to get rid of marijuana he had ,like always they thought he was going for a gun in which he had none.charlie sheen,lindsey lohan,jim belushi found with illegal substances.they're alive and well.

I am appalled by reading your blog. This should NOT be a race issue. It should not even be in the media. You are responding to the media - NOT to the facts. I am a Christian and I am embarassed as I read what you wrote. I do not live in Florida. I do not know the facts of the case. I believe that God is the ultimate Judge and Jury. And He will deal justly with Trayvon and Zimmermann. We are all held accountable for our actions. Innocent people die everyday.

Dear Jen,
I'm so sorry that so many have turned your blog into a battlefield. Your thoughts were honest and heartfelt. All you wanted to do was reach out to this grieving mama and show your support for this family. I stand with you, girl.

I really like reading your blog, i do.

With that being said, I really hope that you don't sincerely think you know the struggles of an African American mother in this country just because you couldn't find a black babydoll or the fact that you "got" a son from Ethiopia. To me, it's kind of an incredibly insulting post. Sorry.

Wow, I am so thankful for this post, Jen. Thank you for saying what needs to be said...it was a risk and it was worth it no matter the response. Look at all of these comments! If it is sparking this much dialogue...that is a GOOD thing. You are raising awareness. I shared the link on our "Saturday Sampling" here: http://www.stonewritten.com/?p=3869

Well done and well said.

Ignore the haters. This is a beautiful letter and as a white women married to a very white man, with a very Honduran foster son, working in a predominately Latino neighborhood and apart of a mostly Asian Church community, my eyes have been opened to my own white privileged and the systemic racism that is very much still in existence. If people don't recognize that, it's because they are most likely white and do not have to deal with it on a daily basis. I stand with you and look forward to helping my own children not only recognize God's creativity in how he created us all, but to celebrate it, seeing the equal value in every single person.

A topic that you could easily have been afraid to tackle, and yet you wrote with grace and dignity.

Simply wonderful writing.

Thank you, Jen. Just thank you.

A bit surprised to see such "heated comments" on a Chrustian blog. Really??

Even more so a post surrounding a topic that was twisted by media.

White boys, tan boys.... Many die each day. Where is the letters to their mothers if this is not ab race??

We have come far as a country--yet the simple truth is that racism exists today amongst all groups. Somewhere right now someone doesn't like somebody because of the color of skin. And it is all wrong. It's sad how racism is often one.

Also, there a dozens of dolls available with different skin colors. Princess and the pea, Anerican Girl Collection just to name a few.

Awesome letter God bless you and your family!!!!!

Lady - black bandaids and black complected dolls are out there - you just weren't in the place to find them. Stop your whining and begging, get off your knees and live your life with some self respect. There is no reason to apologize for anyone's behaviour but your own.
You're acting like a guilt filled idiot, when you have no guilt attached to you. Raise you children as self respecting children, and like so many other black people, they'll become self respecting adults who contribute to society's advancement.
But enough of this self aggrandizement....

Jen, I have not read all of these replies-it would take me a week! You know, as a Christian, that the media is liberal and they love to twist things to fit their agenda. How about, it's just horrible that he died, period. This is not a racial injustice as Zimmerman himself is half Hispanic. I can't believe you were in Target and didn't find a black baby doll. They are everywhere. We have no trouble finding them in any store we frequent. They make clear bandages as well that match any skin tone. :-) Sister, I love your writing, but I'm sorry I read this. While beautifully written, it's emotionally charged and simply not accurate. Disappointing.

Uh-oh, Jen... Looks like your pietistic, soft-Left shilling for the media narrative has blown up in your face again: http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/03/15647937-defense-posts-george-zimmerman-photo-from-night-of-trayvon-martin-shooting?lite

Ignore some of these moronic responses. Thank you for talking about something that most people are afraid to talk about. The topics of racism, privilege, hatred, and inequality are difficult ones to discuss- unfortunately America likes to think of itself as innocent in those areas, only hinting here and there at our faults (minimizing them). But at the end of the day people NEED to start talking about it, addressing their inner biases and their evident prejudices. This began, and ended as a race issue and to pretend it's not one now is just falling to ignorant denial. THANK YOU for being such a stong woman, and for sharing your story- not enough people speak up and speak out. Everyday I am fighting these -isms, and ignore these idiots in talking about "waiting" ALL THESE IDIOTS DO IS WAIT. and waiting isn't good enough. Nothing will get changed in this world if all we do is wait. Your post is real, it's significant and it's happening EVERYDAY in this world whether these people acknowledge it happened to Trayvon or not. So I ghive you all some advice; open your eyes and your minds, confront those biases that you so clearly have- as we all do. Ignoring them, pretending they aren't real and that they're not there will do no one any good. Start getting educated.