Worst End of School Year Mom Ever
by Jen Hatmaker on May 30th, 2013

You know the Beginning of School Enthusiasm? When the pencils are fresh and the notebooks are new and the kids’ backpacks don’t look like they lined the den of a pack of filthy hyenas? Moms, remember how you packed innovative and nutritional lunches and laid clothes out the night before and labeled shelves for each child’s work and school correspondence and completed homework in a timely manner?
 
I am exactly still like that at the end of school, except the opposite.
 
We are limping, limping across the finish line, folks. I tapped out somewhere in April and at this point, it is a miracle my kids are still even going to school. I haven’t checked homework folders in three weeks, because, well, I just can’t. Cannot. Can. Not. I can’t look at the homework in the folder. Is there homework in the folder? I don’t even know. Are other moms still looking in the homework folder? I don’t even care.
Last signature: April 26th. I'm good at other things.

I feel like any sort of school energy required at this point is pure oppression, like the universe is trying to destroy me. I’m so tiiiiiiiiired and I have five kids and that is just too many to educate well. I can only handle around two, so I’m going with Sydney and Caleb because they both like to read and the other three are just going to have to enroll in Life Skills Class one day and develop a trade.
 
Yesterday Remy brought her books to me at bedtime – an hour notable for its propensity to incite rage and trauma – and chirped, “We need to read for 20 minutes!” and a little part of my soul died.
 
“No, we don’t have to read tonight.”
“YES WE DO!!! MRS. BURKE SAID!!! WE HAAAAVE TO!!!”
“We already read.”
“NO WE DIDN’T!!! YOU ARE FAKING ME, MOM?”
“When I talk to you during the day, that’s like reading. You have to listen to the words I am saying and then make sense of them. It’s really hard work for you. It’s called auditory reading. We’ve been practicing all day. I’ll write the minutes down in your log.”
 
My friend Glennon over at Momastery described nighttime reading like this: “The little one wants to ‘help read’ her book. So, let’s see. It takes her about six minutes to sound out each word, and so if the book is one hundred words, well, I don’t specialize in math but I am telling you that I am stuck in that room FOREVER. It feels like I will be reading that book with Amma until I die.”
 
UNTIL WE DIE. Children should not be allowed to learn to read until they are already good at it. And why do we have to do this at bedtime when I’m one click away from becoming that scary under-the-bed-mother in “Mama” (GO TO BED OR I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE AND THEN HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AS A TERRIFYING CLOWN). I know having an emerging reader is exciting.  Because of the reading! And the literacy! But at the end of the school year, when I’ve logged approximately 688 million hours with such gripping plots like The mother and the brother went to the store, which takes 12 minutes to decode, then I have to look at the ceiling and sing hymns in my brain to get through it.
 

Then Ben tells me Tuesday that he needs a Ben Franklin costume for the Living History Museum today, and I’m like what fresh hell is this?? I have no idea how I missed the correspondence on this (because I’m not checking backpacks is just a theory), but Brandon is the Costume and Project Parent and I am the Daily Grinder, which is a division of labor we agreed on to ensure our kids actually graduate one day and move out, but he is out of town on a mancation, so this is on me. I cannot even handle signing a folder in late May; a colonial costume is cause for full, unrestrained despair.
 
So Ben went to school like this today, and there is no way this will ever not be a part of his childhood. Please note my scarf hanging out the bottom of his vest, as well as the soccer socks stretched over his Adidas pants. Just whatever, man.
"Mom, I should've picked a black character. Like Abraham Lincoln." Bless it.

My shame was somewhat mitigated when I saw a kid wearing a random t-shirt and jeans with a pair of swim goggles around his neck (Michael Phelps) and another girl with a piece of paper taped to her shirt with her character’s name written in marker. I caught the eyes of their moms and was all solidarity, you guys.
 
Teachers, we need to make a deal that after April testing, we don’t have to do anything else. You don’t. I don’t. I don’t care if you watch movies in class five days a week and take four recesses a day. I mean, Caleb had to bring an About Me poster with five school days left in the year. In September, this might have produced something noteworthy, with pictures perhaps, even some thoughtful components to describe his winning qualities, but as we’ve used up all our bandwidth, we yanked trash out of our actual trash can, glued it to a poster, and called it a day. I am not exaggerating when I tell you this is the very most we can do on May 29th. This is our best work:
Note the caveman labels: DRINK, MOTORCYCLE, GAME, SHOP, FOOD.
End of school hard.

The emails coming in for All Of The Things – class gift, end of year letters, luncheon signup, party supplies, awards ceremonies, pictures for the slide shows, final projects – are like a tsunami of doom. They are endless. I mean, they will never ever end. There is no end of it. I will never finish and turn it all in and get it to the (correct) Room Mom and get it all emailed and I am pretty sure the final week of school will never be over and this is the end for me.
 
Brandon:
 
“You don’t have to do all that, you know. Just blow it off.”
 
Me, staring blankly:
 
“Well, what a lovely thought you’re having there in your brain. How nice for you to be thinking that thought. I want to live in your imaginary world where my failure to do the School Stuff doesn’t mean our kid is the only one not wearing a purple shirt or didn’t have his pictures in the slideshow or didn’t bring in a handmade card for his teacher like every other student. I’ll just ‘blow it off’ and our kids can work it out with their therapists later.”
 
“Touchy.”
 
“You don’t even know about all this, man.”
 
So, Mom out there sending Lunchables with your kid, making her wear shoes with holes because we’re.almost.there, practicing “auditory reading” with your 1st grader, I got your back, sister. We were awesome back in October; don’t you forget that. We used to care, and that counts for something. Next year’s teachers will get a fresher version of us in August, and they won’t even know the levels of suckage we will succumb to by May. Hang in there, Mama. Just a few more days until summer, when approximately 19 minutes into our glorious respite from homework, liberated from the crush of it all, ready to party like it’s 1999, our precious children, having whooped and celebrated and “graduated” and squealed all the way home will announce:
 
“I’m bored.”


Just in case you think this is "anti-teachers", you might want to check out what I wrote last month: Dear Teachers Everywhere. TEACHERS RULE. We ALL crossed the finish line together. Cheers!



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4458 Comments

Kristi - May 30th, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Oh my word...I am so with you. Last night (one hour past her bed time) my 7 year old..."but we have to read"... No, you read earlier didn't you. No I didn't that was yesterday. Oh well we will read double tomorrow. No, we have to read. No, it's too late we will just read double tomorrow. It is fine...really. and now of course its tomorrow and I have to read double....ugh.,

Sonya - May 30th, 2013 at 1:46 PM
I actually found things from last November in my son's backpack! No wonder we missed picture day, take flowers for the teacher day, and countless other things that had to be somewhat annoying for him. Poor little 4th grader...I checked out weeks ago too. My parent signature folder, found in a folded heap, was last signed in January! UUGGHHH...God help us all!
Laurel B. - May 30th, 2013 at 6:27 PM
My son came home from school today with *4* Honors Certificates/Awards/Things With Atta-Boy Stickers On Them. "Mom! Look at everything I got at the Awards Ceremony!"

I HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS ONE! I'm not even going to LOOK in the backpack.
Bev - May 30th, 2013 at 6:58 PM
This happened to me too! Loved the blog. I think I'm going to pass it on to the principal.
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 2:37 AM
Love that idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suzanne - May 31st, 2013 at 4:34 PM
I am a high school teacher who just had a son graduate from HS last weekend and then had to go back to school for another week. Limping is not even descriptive enough...crawling. And I still have about 50 Grapes of Wrath projects to grade. It is a low time of year for both sides of the fence.
Melissa - May 31st, 2013 at 5:43 PM
I'm with you. I was thinking the same thing. I can totally relate to this mom, from the teacher side. It's not kosher to say it, but we too have "checked out" by now. SOL testing over, checking out. Thank you =)
Karen - May 31st, 2013 at 8:52 PM
And it's not just the teachers with the standardized test to deal with. I'm a kindergarten teacher, and at beginning of the year I did bi-weekly newsletters. Plus I made sure that parents without email got hard copies of everything. I haven't done a newsletter since January, and for those parents without email, well, I hope they have friends that kept them in the loop. Not to mention getting homework together for my parent volunteer that comes on Monday to make copies isn't always a pretty site. And correcting it? Fuhgedaboutit. Maybe it will all go home the last week in the huge bag of stuff kids carry back. It's been a tough year, a really bad day, but reading this helped. I am not alone!
Duke - June 1st, 2013 at 1:27 AM
Fugedaboutiiiiit

Ann - June 1st, 2013 at 8:16 AM
My daughter reposted this on facebook. As a mother of 5 and grandmother of 16 I can relate. It makes me feel so good to know that the feelings I had when my children were growing up were real and others were feeling the same way. I thought I was a failure back then. Guilt was my middle name. Empty nest syndrome? NOT ME! Relief..Oh there goes the guilt again...Thanks for your post. I can now shed the guilt from the past.
Sannpet - June 1st, 2013 at 5:22 AM
not a pretty sight... ? (Ha, great post. I'm going to share it big time.)
Noreen - June 1st, 2013 at 9:12 AM
I had a stack of endangered species research papers, a mountain of workbooks, etc. and report cards to do in a room that is not air conditioned and it was 92 degrees.
Deana Siekmann - May 31st, 2013 at 5:41 AM
I am a Principal and feel the same way! Both professionally and as a Mom, I am limping with you all. "Just keep breathing" is my mantra these days!
Amy - May 31st, 2013 at 8:39 AM
I agree with and can relate.
An educator also. Just like to show teachers they matter, they are appreciated, that their hours at home and on weekends away from their kids is noticed. So I am a bit sad only half of our class gave to the end of the year gift so far.
Reading- I get you here too. PIck this book it is fast and easy. Summer reading is so so important.
Rachael - May 31st, 2013 at 2:02 PM
I do sign my 1st grader's hw folder, but NEVER look at the homework. Im so lucky she is smart and doesnt need my help. She makes straight A's so why do more, right? I am also a teacher, and I had 19 students in my class this year. I got not ONE end of the year gift. Not. Even. One. Our last day was last Friday so it's over. No gift, but at least I have a nice 9 week vacation..... Having to entertain my own children! Lol
Erica - May 31st, 2013 at 2:29 PM
I'm sorry, but why are all these teachers expecting a gift? Is that a thing now, that we have to give gifts to our teachers? Isn't this the profession you chose? I don't receive gifts for being a receptionist, I get a salary. That is my gift.

If some nice mom wants to give a gift and show appreciation, that's really nice of her, but for you to EXPECT them to give gifts and then be disappointed when no one gives you one is a little ridiculous.

No one else gets gifts for showing up to work and doing their job. Unless you count not being fired as receiving a gift.
stacey - May 31st, 2013 at 2:46 PM
Erika has a point!
sep332 - May 31st, 2013 at 2:52 PM
Yes, teachers get end-of-year gifts from students. Also there is a Receptionists Day which you probably are still angry that somebody missed a few weeks ago.
Tami - May 31st, 2013 at 4:29 PM
Hahahaha!!! Sep332, I am STILL laughing out loud at that!
jane - June 1st, 2013 at 8:38 AM
That was my thought exactly. Just buy the teacher a nice gift. She taught your kid all year. And if you are like most moms commenting, you don't even have the energy to read with them for 30 minutes a night.
Nina - June 1st, 2013 at 8:52 AM
This reminds me of why my mother's so enthusiastic about national standardized tests.

Where she grew up, traditional gifts for teachers had reached the point of *bribery*...and meanwhile the people outside the high schools grading the national university entrance exams, *they* didn't know whose parents were rich enough to give the ritziest gifts and whose were not...
Nicole - May 31st, 2013 at 4:14 PM
Erika,
I am a teacher and I DO NOT expect a gift from my students/parents. What I do expect is for parents and children to take pride in their schooling and responsibilities...actually I consider that the best gift in the world. However, it doesn't always happen that way.


Evy - May 31st, 2013 at 4:28 PM
I SO agree. I'm a nurse and NOBODY gives me a gift - in fact even if they wanted to we're not allowed to accept them. I think our boss gets to keep them. We too consider it a "gift" to not get fired!


Kelly - June 1st, 2013 at 12:24 AM
Love love love it!
Viera - June 1st, 2013 at 9:38 AM
Well in few former east block European countries nurses and doctors get gifts. Always bottle of vine or some favorite bag of coffee. The way of life there. Actually I don't remember that teachers ever got anything meaningful from kids. Different priorities there for the adults :)
Vickie - June 1st, 2013 at 9:41 AM
Evy, I am also a nurse and some days (lots of them!), you feel good when your shift ends and all your patients are still breathing!! They've been pottyed (is that a word?), feed and medicated so we are good to go!! I'm sure teachers feel the same way. What kids don't understand is that the teachers are just as tired of them as they are of the teachers. Twelve beautiful hours away from that stupid call light!
Sarah - May 31st, 2013 at 4:38 PM
Wow..... As an educator, I would say yes, you show up. It's a job. Most teachers struggle to call it a job. Teaching (if you're good) is SO SO SO much more. You're a good receptionist, great. You expect no gift. You had a job, and you did it. However, you also probably didn't buy stuff for your job, or kids that aren't technically yours, or things for their learning. You probably didn't hold people who were crying, make their hurt feel better, be someone's teacher, nurse, substitute parent, friend, janitor, encourager, friend, and the list just goes on and on. Teachers (myself included) relate to the exhaustion! Teachers are ALL limping to the finish line to make it to the end of the year with the kids that we've pushed to be excellent readers, writers, thinkers, and learners. It is nice to recognize a professional that you entrust with your most precious possession for taking care of them. We read all these articles of teachers in Oklahoma risking their lives for their students. Teacher stepping in front of bullets. Now do teachers do that every day? Of course not (dear God I hope not!). However, picking this job we know the risks. I don't think receptionists do that. There are no phones or staplers to protect, listen to, challenge, encourage, teach. That is why teachers don't expect but wish for gifts at the end of the year. We need that encouragement to keep on giving, giving, giving to be the best teacher your child can have. I am pretty sure most mothers and fathers don't want to give up Mother's or Father's Day. You might not expect a gift, because a good parent does it simple because they're a good parent. The gifts just give you the motivation to keep going. I think most parents would agree a good teacher goes beyond the job and loves their child to. That is something no job can ever require or enforce. You do it because it is your calling, and you hold those gifts you get to your heart to remember why you do what you do. I have a basket of letters from students. At the end of every year, I read them. It reminds me when I am most exhausted why I keep going. Gifts don't have to be monetary. They can simply be a card that says thanks. Even receptionists have secretaries day I believe. Don't teachers deserve that much?
Kemi - May 31st, 2013 at 4:53 PM
YES!!! Yes, they do. This is a perfect response!
Linda Charlton - May 31st, 2013 at 5:17 PM
Sarah... you are awesome!!
StaceyK - May 31st, 2013 at 5:32 PM
I am an educator and a parent. Whenever my children wanted to give something to a teacher, they usually baked cookies or made something. Very seldom did we buy gifts for teachers. At our school, the board members show us appreciation, buy giving us cards, putting up posters and keeping the workroom full of yummy treats, for the whole week that Teacher Appreciation Day falls on. It is more significant when your "bosses" go to those lengths to give you a reaffirming pat on the back. They also serve us when we have our end-of-the-year staff lunch, which was today.
Molly - May 31st, 2013 at 7:05 PM
Get. Over. Yourself. It is your job. That you are even complaining about gifts sounds spoiled and self-important. Seriously.
Mallorie - May 31st, 2013 at 8:59 PM
Give teaching a try. You'll change your mind. Until you do, you will never understand what teachers do for your children.
Faren - May 31st, 2013 at 9:16 PM
Disagree. I AM a teacher, and have had up to 195 students at a time (six classes a day of 7th graders, no less than 32-33 per class) and I would never EXPECT gifts at any time of the year. Would I be completely tickled if a student or parent brought me a gift? Of course I would! Do I melt into a puddle when students bring me cards during teacher appreciation week? Duh! However, I think it's pretty entitled for anyone of any profession, no matter how many hours and endless ounces of energy they put into it, to expect gifts and grump about it if no one delivers. Teachers get special benefits all over the place anyway-- I thoroughly enjoy my teacher discounts at Barnes & Noble and office supply stores.
Tara B. - June 1st, 2013 at 4:34 AM
I'm not a teacher, but a parent of an 11 year old boy. I was a single parent up until last year. When we lived in Atlanta, GA, in one of the "worst" neighborhoods in all of Atlanta, I saw the best teachers ever who gave more of their time, resources, love, time, energy, time, and so much more, to my son, and the many other children attending that school. They provided uniforms (it was a uniform coded school) to the children whose parents could not afford the clothes, they provided food, rides to events, encouragement, hugs: side note: my sons 2nd grade teacher would hug her students every morning and at the end of the day and tell them they were beautiful and special because quite frankly, for most of her students that was the only time the children would get that love. She didn't have to do that. My sons 5th grade teacher came out of her own pocket more times than I can mention to supply pencils, paper, notebooks, etc... to those students who could not afford it. They went above and beyond what I thought was "their job." The truth is, teachers everywhere are a special breed. It's a thankless job many times, and they are just hoping for some parental support, and yes, for children (and parents) to be a little appreciative by the end of the year. In most cases, teachers ARE the only parent figure some children will ever have! God bless all you educators out there! Keep pressing, strive to become better in your craft, and please don't stop...the children, if not now, will eventually get it! :)
P.S. and for the record...I do think as parents we should encourage our children to at least write a thank you letter to their teachers. After all, for most families, teachers see our children more hours out of the day than we do!
Tara B - June 1st, 2013 at 4:50 AM
And, I thought the blog was great! I only have 1 child, and was fed up months ago! lol! I ask my son every single day, with many, many questions, about his day. I ask about announcements, homework, etc... The only way I find out anything is by hijacking his book bag. I'm trying to make him more responsible about his actions by not hovering over him. I'm so ready for the summer! Keep pressing mommies everywhere! :)
Sarah - June 1st, 2013 at 8:16 AM
It is OUR JOB to supply our students with things their parents and the system can't (pencils, bandaids, breakfast, lunch -- yes I have fed my students because their parents don't send them to school with breakfast or don't refill money on their lunch account). I NEVER EVER expect a gift as a teacher but am offended by your saying it is our job to the things listed by Sarah (which is not me -- I'm a different Sarah who is a teacher). Our job is to teach curriculum. Our passion and hearts make it different from a job.
Stephanie - May 31st, 2013 at 7:12 PM
haha , Teachers week was may 6th.... i think you sound a little crazy and bitter. I am a nurse, and I get bit, kicked , cussed at and I literally have people's lives in my hands.............yet i don't get 2months off in the summer , holidays off or any kind of perk like that. I knew that going in and i don't complain about it. You are not a martyr. Love your job or move on..........but that responsibility lies with you. That being said I love my kids teachers and am so thankful for them.
Cherie - May 31st, 2013 at 7:19 PM
Said just like someone who has never stepped foot in a classroom full of 25 6 year olds!
Stephanie - June 1st, 2013 at 12:28 AM
Not joking here Cheri, I actually have a teaching degree, have been in the classroom. found it wasn't for me and moved on (not 6 year olds though,....6 th graders) Life is too short to be this bitter and petty. relax and find something that fulfills you.

and to the person who said "fill free to take 9 weeks unpaid" I would totally do that........not allowed. i can't take any time off this summer when i wanted to. bummer. but again i knew that going in....so its fine and when its not i will find a different position that supports it.
Starinas - June 1st, 2013 at 1:12 AM
Cherie, I HAVE stepped foot in a classroom full of 25 6 year olds for 5 years straight and I do NOT expect any gifts. Being a teacher is hard work, but so are many, many other jobs out there including being a mom. If I get something, great, if not no biggie! I know my kids love me whether they make me a card or not.
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 7:35 PM
Hey, Stephanie; feel free to take 2 months off this summer----without pay, just like teachers do.

Mrstith - June 1st, 2013 at 1:01 AM
I'm a teacher and no teacher takes 2 months off without pay.
Graham - June 1st, 2013 at 1:29 AM
I'm an elementary teacher also, and I've not been paid one red cent in July and August for the last 19 years I've been teaching. I don't know where you teach Mrstith, but it's certainly not in my district.
Mel - June 1st, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Teachers in our county in Md. are paid in the summer months, it is part of their contract. They can choose a lesser pay check amount during the year to have a steady summer check. I thought that was pretty much standard practice.

Jane McKee - June 1st, 2013 at 8:19 AM
Every single one in the Pittsburgh Public School System does. No pay from June 17 - Sept. 15.
Nathaniel - June 1st, 2013 at 8:30 AM
You can have your year's pay divided into 12 or 10. We always went for 12 so that we have a paycheck all year round. Some people go for 10 so that their paychecks are larger. Regardless, you get paid for 10 months of work.

Amber - May 31st, 2013 at 7:56 PM
I am an RN and work in a nursing home. I love my job and I love my residents. I am whatever my residents need me to be. I am their mother, their daughter, their teacher, their friend, their (of course) nurse. I have spent hours of my own personal time at the bedside of sick and dying residents. I have been there for them when their family cannot. I have spent my own personal money on clothes, shoes, Christmas presents, last week I even bought a resident's grandaughter a birthday present because he had not the money nor the capability of purchasing one. I have loved my residents and have cried with them in their final years and have cried for them as they are "celestially discharged." I am their advocate and protector. I pray that I never am placed in a situation where I have to physically protect from harm and danger in such a way that places myself in danger, but, placed in that situation, I know I would do what I would have to. I don't receive gifts for my service. I don't expect gifts. This is the profession I have chosen and if I get a thank you in an occasional obituary, I am satisfied. If I WERE to accept a gift, my job would be in jeopardy. So *thank you* teachers for your valued service. Our children are who they are because of your wonderful influence. (It does make me a little nauseated to hear your nonsense of being entitled to GIFTS, however)
Susan - May 31st, 2013 at 9:10 PM
When my father was in the memory unit of a care facility, my sister and I regularly brought treats for the care givers, they were allowed to keep them and share them in their break room. A couple of bags of chips or cookies or a veggie tray.

Those care givers did an awesome job taking care of my dad and they each got a thank you card after he passed away
Shelley - May 31st, 2013 at 8:18 PM
Well said. I'd like to add to that, as teachers, we are paid to TEACH for 180 days a year...not 140. So, we do it. And YOU, as parents, are parents 365 days a year. Sorry, but you don't get a day off. Live with it.

kari - May 31st, 2013 at 10:22 PM
Receptionists don't wipe a child's backside when they end up stinky and soiled for one reason or another. How many professions care about the dignity of the individual?
305teacher - May 31st, 2013 at 10:48 PM
That could not have been said better! Thank you for representing us teachers so well!!
Karen B - June 1st, 2013 at 5:17 AM
Perfect article. Perfect response! I gave (my boys are all grown) teachers gifts because each teacher not only gave out of her own pocket for classroom supplies, but gave love, compassion and affection to my child(ren) when I couldn't and on top of those things, she taught them a curriculum decided by a committee of the same types of people who require AMES testing! I am NOT a teacher but have more respect for them than for almost any profession in the world. Thanks to all teachers who sacrifice so much.
Eileen - June 1st, 2013 at 8:41 AM
Well said! I am a teacher who has spent at least $2,000 this past school year alone on educational website subscriptions for my students (not in the school budget), books, pencils, tissues (no longer in the school budget and the principal does not want us to put tissues on the supply list), copy paper (we were told that the supply might run out before the end of the school year so I bought a case just in case!), and so many other incidentals. We get a 30 minute prep for grading papers and tests, planning lessons, conferencing with parents, returning phone calls, reading and writing emails, photocopying (office assistant cut out of the budget), meeting with the principal (this is usually done after school on my own time), committee meetings (unpaid, and we need to be on these committees to receive extra points for the new APPR teacher evaluations), ....oh yes, and a trip to the restroom, but I can do that during my lunch break which I spend doing all of the previously mentioned things while scarfing down a zip loc bag of granola. I leave my classroom at 5:00, not 3:00 like many people think all teachers do, and continue working at home for at least another hour or two, and my Saturdays are spent writing lesson plans for the following week. This is a second career for me and in spite of what it has become over the years, the children inspire me because there is nothing better than seeing them progress and change throughout the school year. Every day is different with new joys and challenges, and I get to meet a brand new group of remarkable children each year while feeling sad as my current group moves up to the middle school. The best end of year gift is a handmade card that I can read again years from now and remember that child like no time has passed. I would not trade that part of my job for anything. Thanks to Jen for making me laugh so hard and truly appreciate the daily struggles of raising children. I remember those days! And yes, my girls are out on their own and my husband and I are enjoying the empty nest syndrome in our early fifties. Enjoy those early precious years. You will miss them someday!
Liz - June 1st, 2013 at 8:55 AM
I couldn't agree more Sarah. Well said!
Karen - June 1st, 2013 at 9:27 AM
Sarah, you put it so well. I am inspired to go get my son's teacher a gift. Today. Because school is out in 4 more days, and there's nothing like a deadline to force me off the couch. She deserves so much more than what I can afford.
Katia - June 1st, 2013 at 9:27 AM
Thank you, Sarah. This is an excellent response. I'm an exhausted teacher at this point and my job does encompass EVERYTHING you described! I work in a very low SES school so I don't expect gift but I'm sure glad when I receive a card, a scribble or a dollar-store gift I don't need or when a parent thanks me on the phone for going above and beyond with his kid. I'm on every day of the week, think, plan and spend for my kids every day and although I would not get paid enough to be a receptionist, the job stops as soon as you leave your desk. Mine doesn't. Oh, and I just received the new curriculum and books for next year. I guess my job doesn't actually stop over the summer either :)
Marianne - June 1st, 2013 at 9:39 AM
How about the special ed staff? I chose not to be in the school setting, so yes, I am the one who even works Saturdays with Autistic Deaf kids (b/c our CA schools cant handle that combo) {plus I have a special-needs child at home too}, but gifts? 'come on, it is only a 'nicety' and should never be expected or counted. My professional code of conduct frowns on anything more than a bottle of water from the families I work with...PLUS... I mean, really, what can I give to a teacher who had to deal with my son all year without any help? everything falls short, and I don't think that will be the ONE thing she remembers all year, or for the rest of her career...(she will probably get a hand made card from my son plus some flowers from the garden - so will the 2 receptionists, and the prinicpal)
AJ - May 31st, 2013 at 5:24 PM
Your job isn't as important as a teacher's job is. Also, you are a bitch. I'm not a teacher and I wouldn't want that responsibility.
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 8:23 PM
Really? A nurse isn't as important as a teacher? Hope you are never hospitalized. Sheesh. It's telling that you feel the need to use the word "bitch". Seems like a mirror is in order on that one.
Chris - May 31st, 2013 at 6:10 PM
Have to say... I'm a teacher who works til 2:30, 3:00 in the morning to balance working as a teacher with 3 kids, and I take work home every night... so I don't know. I love receiving a gift. I sacrifice so much of my own time, money, sleep, exercise, etc so that I can go check on that kid at lunch when he felt sick but he really has anxiety and so therefore I don't eat... yeah. It's a very very very busy job. An appreciation gift is lovely. Not necessary, but simply devine!
andrea - May 31st, 2013 at 6:55 PM
I think that this the the point... that this is the right attitude to have. I homeschool for various reasons (the above article being one of the bigger ones) and one of the things I have taught my children (hopefully) is to show appreciation, if you are thankful because somebody has done something for you, you do something for them. I think this might be a bit different though than feeling pressured to buy a gift for your child's teacher. Nevermind that there's no way some families, especially with multiple children, can afford it, but also, why perpetuate the idea of more stuff? ALSO, I for one wouldn't want to feel that kids were giving me things because it was expected of them. The POINT, imho is that you want to feel appreciated, not that they have one more thing to stress about. I agree wholeheartedly that teaching (especially a large group of) children is crazy hard... but it IS the profession of choice and you DO get paid (not very much) to do it. The burden of guilt for the lack of resources should NOT be put on the parents, and by default, the children... it should be put in the system and the government. Basically, yes, the receiving of a gift would be wonderful, if it's from the heart and from honest appreciation (which is what should be taught) but the expectation of a THING expected from a child and honestly, as stated above etc... essentially a forced issue. That's just not right.

Maria - May 31st, 2013 at 6:15 PM
I am a teacher and I don't expect a gift but If I make a difference in someones life I would think someone would like to show some appreciation. Please no disrespect but Do not compare me to a receptionist I have spent several years in school learning how to enhance my kids lives so they can be the best they can be. I have a Master's in Special Education for Pre K disabled and Autism. Most of my co workers have to have continued education, so do not compare your job with that of a teacher. Yours is important but you do not affect growing minds.
tracy - June 1st, 2013 at 8:16 AM
I am a teacher and a mom. You are not a teacher, so you probably don't know that Secretaries Week is like a national holiday in most schools. The office is COVERED in handmade cards, posters, and gifts. Not to mention the flowers, goodies, and other store-bought gifts. One of the office staff at my school had to take home some of her goodies this week because she couldn't function in the office due to all the decorations. Who do you think encouraged/asked the students to create these treasures - teachers! Teachers and staff in schools have nothing but the utmost respect for their school secretaries. They are the heart of the school and we could NOT do it without them.

That being said, I must also respond to some other things you are incorrect on. TEACHERS call home when there is an issue. TEACHERS console 99% of the time when a student is hurt. When it is bigger than they can handle, they send the student to the school NURSE (who also deserves an armload of respect) to help them feel better. The secretaries are not involved.

I have never sent a student to the office because they didn't have their homework. I have never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life. I give the consequence. I call the parent. I make sure it gets done. My administration does not have time to deal with every kid that didn't have their homework. They would do nothing else! And by the way, our office staff gets lunch every day. We are the ones following up on the kids who got in a tiff on the playground, or arranging a lunch for the kid who doesn't have lunch money. And you should also know, that whopping 15 minutes is often the only break we have all day (once all kids are settled and eating).

As far as the two months off fantasy....many if not most teachers use this time to plan for the next school year. They are taking classes, reading books, buying supplies, etc. They are constantly trying to better themselves for YOUR child. Most teachers do not simply while away the summer eating bon-bons and flying to Hawaii. THEY CAN'T AFFORD TO. In my state, teachers are required to recertify every 5 years. To do this, they need to take classes. Most often this occurs in the summer because during the school year, they are taking care of, nurturing, challenging, teaching, growing YOUR children into being better than they were before. They don't have time to take graduate level courses, so this must happen during the summer.

I'm sorry you're bitter that you don't have these "vacations". That was a choice for you. Don't blame the teachers that you chose poorly.

I think you are misinformed in general.

As I will say to most of you, walk a day in a teacher's shoes - just one day- and you will gain the respect you so lack. I am not saying that anyone else is not important. Nurses, receptionists, etc. have very valuable jobs that I could not do on a daily basis. I guess the point is that you choose the job you can do - and do well. Know your limitations - and respect and appreciate those who do other jobs on a daily basis. I respect all walks of life. I know I can't do those jobs. I'll just keep going on doing my job, to teach our children, the best I can. I am not better than them, but I am a teacher. It is who I am.
JustAMomll - May 31st, 2013 at 6:19 PM
Oh, I am so not happy here. Sarah? Are you friggin for real????? Do you think for a minute that school could run without the office staff? What a bunch of crock. If I could, I would yank your admin staff out of your school and say....do it your own dang self....let's see how much actually gets done!

I am just a mom. 3 kids. 17, 15, & 12. 3 different schools. So I see all 3 schools. Small town. Not so many kids. And let me tell you...my hats are off to the office staff of each one of those schools!

How dare you tell anyone the receptionist doesn't hold the kids, console them, help them, lead them, guide them...oh holy cow. Are you so clueless? The kids fall, where do they go? To the teachers? Nope. Maybe the one on the playground that says..."go to the office" or "go see the nurse". And if it's lunch time, we all know office staff generally don't get lunch!!!!, they are doing the lunch duty stuff AND get to take care of the children you should be consoling.

Oh man, I'm hot. Principals and teachers don't call when there is an issue...the receptionist calls. Counselors tell the office staff..."call mr and mrs so and so". Kids don't feel good, the receptionist gets them. Little girls start their cycle and they are sent to the office. Kids forget homework and they are sent to the office....the list goes on.

So please please please, get off the high horse. You make at least double what any receptionist will make in any year. And the moms? Well don't get me started there.

This blog is wonderful. It's how all we mothers feel. And now you get to take your 2 or 3 months off and do whatever you want...we get the kids every day all day while you are on your trips wherever you go to unwind. We don't get vacations.

We love our kids with everything in us, or we would not be doing what we do. I am POSITIVE the receptionist and other office staff love them too. Please don't belittle what they do. It is so upsetting.

We moms KNOW how hard they work. We see it...almost everyday.

Any principal that thinks their staff should be grateful for whatever needs a dang reality check. You should be grateful yours shows up to work every day! No way in heck you could do their jobs.

Grrrrr.

I support office staff 100%. You should too.
C - May 31st, 2013 at 7:07 PM
Amen to that!!!

delishdish - May 31st, 2013 at 7:27 PM
I am the office staff, by myself, at a school of 654 students (the other secretary left, fed up, about 4 weeks ago). I am limping to the end all alone. I come to work an hour and a 1/2 early every day, then sit there and answer a bunch of questions from teachers that, had they read their email, they would have known the answer, all the while NOT getting paid for coming in early. I NEVER take a lunch, because who would watch the office? Certainly not a teacher giving up her lunch time. I work late and bring work home every night (even when there was 2 of us) to make sure that things get done. For all of this I make $8.46/hr, and though I work a minimum of 9 hours a day, I get paid for 7 (My teen boys ump a park dist baseball came and make double what I make in the same amount of time).

Here's the hoot.....I have a college degree. This job just happened to work for many other reasons when I took it and now I've fallen in love with it. I received a 2% raise for next year..yes, I will be making $8.63/hr, all the while I hear things from teachers like, "Filing things into the writing portfolios is a secretary's job." I'm not saying all teachers are like this, but there are enough of them that make me wonder why they even do it. They obviously aren't fulfilled by the experience. I want one more teacher to try asking me a questions while I'm on the phone with a parent. I don't appreciate the condescending attitude about secretaries/receptionists, but I do appreciate JustaMomll for having our back. Thanks for remembering that the office staff and the job they do, are important too.

I thought this blog was AMAZINGLY accurate and insightful, portrayed with enough humor to know that it's better to laugh than to cry when you are done in. Thanks for the excellent post! I'm almost to the finish line!!!
Grace - May 31st, 2013 at 7:08 PM
You have no clue...if you have never thought to send a note of thanks for all that your child's teacher has done for your child and 25 students, 6 hrs a day...with a salary equivalent to those in occupations requiring marginal patience, effort, education, dedication, and love for young people...shame on you...no teacher expects a gift ..her reward is the love returned, progress made, and future contacts from "her kids", who have made it thanks to the rewarding time spent together...
Betty - May 31st, 2013 at 7:09 PM
That's what you got out of this wonderfully written story? Do you have to give a gift to the teacher at the end of the year? That's it???
I'm sure the teacher does NOT need a gift from your child to feel that she has made it through the year doing her job to teach YOUR child.
Read the story again and try to identify.
Kelly - May 31st, 2013 at 8:43 PM
We don't expect a gift, but it is nice. I spend lots of hours that I don't get paid for. I have not had a raise in 4 years and I am pretty sure I won't get one this year. My husband has had his wages go up at least every year, but mine have been frozen for 4 years. I spend more and more money out of my our pocket.
Kelly - May 31st, 2013 at 9:20 PM
I totally agree, and I'm a teacher, too. Stop whining, Rachael. And if you have a nice 9 week vacation to look forward to, be grateful that you don't need to have another job over the summer in order to make ends meet.

Stephanie - May 31st, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Erica - Hear Hear
Dea K - May 31st, 2013 at 10:13 PM
Teachers do chose this job, but so many of them put much more than is expected into their profession. I've had teachers use their own money to be able to do special projects with the kids. Not only that, but I never had a teacher that didn't take the time to listen to a 2nd or 3rd graders rambling and give them a hug if they skinned their knee. I never felt like I had to give a teacher gift, but wanted to show appreciation for getting my little munchkin through another year.
Rachael - May 31st, 2013 at 10:38 PM
I teach in a high poverty school (4th grade). I have NEVER received an end of year gift, nor do I expect one. Just sayin'. :)

In response to the post, I too have checked out. I've taken to hiding the uncorrected homework in a cupboard so the kids don't ask about it. I stopped assigning it a month ago and not one parent has asked about it. Yay!
Robin - June 1st, 2013 at 2:07 AM
Hey Erica -
While some teachers may expect gifts - most really and truly don't. I mean, come on - would you really choose a profession because you get $10.00 worth of Starbucks gift cards and a tacky "#1 Teacher" mug once a year? :) Probably not.

In reality though, a lot of pressure that moms (and dads) feel about that school stuff comes from OTHER parents. There's this unspoken battle going on out there (both real and simply perceived) that parents are telling themselves that others will judge them or their child over things like a 3rd grade science fair display, a historical figure costume, or the awesomeness of their end-of-year gift.

Now, maybe that's true and people really ARE judging... I'm not sure - but it's a sickness in our culture that needs to be cured. Mamas and papas gotta keep things in perspective and teach their children to do the same. They gotta allow their child to fail a little sometimes. They gotta take the pressure off of themselves and remember that a cruddy 3rd grade project or not having a gift won't make or break their kid, or their reputation.

If a teacher got no gifts at the end of the year - I'm willing to bet she really wouldn't dwell on it. She'd ultimately just go on with her life, just as you or any other professional does, and do her job all over again the next school year. Her self worth is not wrapped up in that coffee mug. But if she does get gifts - well, that's okay too and you can't hold that against her. Nobody would take away your flowers if someone put them on your desk... and I hope someone does too. We all need a little encouragement at times and it feels good to be noticed and thanked. I'm sorry that hasn't happened for you yet in your line of work.
Jeri - June 1st, 2013 at 7:45 AM
You, likely, have had a raise in the last six years and have not had 3% of your pay taken from you. Your job has probably not increased in paperwork and responsibility with data requirements - all to be completed in the same amount of time as before (with the added stipulation of your pay being commensurate with the performance of the people you work with). You are not responsible for the social and academic outcome of 22 young human beings. Your interaction with other individuals likely occurs for periods of 30 seconds to four minutes (not 7 hours a day, five hours a week). The people with whom you interact probably don't rely on you for food they did not get at home, consolation for the father who just left, or understanding for why they just don't feel good or didn't get much sleep last night. We do not expect GIFTS from everyone, but we are human, and it is not wrong to expect a little appreciation or acknowledgement for the commitment, time, and interest invested in helping to raise children be the best that they can be.
Megan - June 1st, 2013 at 8:50 AM
I don't think the teachers are sending the email about the gift...it is probably the room mom coordinating it. I'm pretty sure teachers don't expect gifts :)

Deborah - May 31st, 2013 at 5:03 PM
Really????? If you're doing this educator thing for the end of the year gift, you're in the wrong profession, and doing it for the wrong reason. Use your 9 week vacation to assess your career options and attitude adjustment.
Jen - May 31st, 2013 at 7:17 PM
Deborah it is not vacation it is unemployment! teaching is a 10-month position. Teachers do not get paid over the summer. Large chunks of their paychecks are taken out during the school year and redistributed over the summer. Many teachers work over the summer through the extended school year or a summer seasonal job in order to make ends meet. Only teachers who have been in the field many years, and have gained additional education (masters or master plus 30 additional graduate hours) can afford to not find additional work during their 2-month unemployment. And I think I can state that no teacher does it for the end of the year gift. I am a special education teacher, a teacher of the visually impaired, and have never heard of such a thing until reading this post.
Kor - June 1st, 2013 at 2:28 AM
Don't they maintain their benefits? That's not unemployment.
Amanda - June 1st, 2013 at 3:22 AM
The money to cover our benefits in the summer months is part of what's taken out of our checks in the school year. The remainder is salary we choose to set aside throughout the year to have a "paycheck" between school years.
Kathryn - May 31st, 2013 at 6:55 PM
I handle major catastrophic claims each day and protect people and their assets DAILY. I don't get a 9 week vacation at the end of their trial, nor do I get a gift from them. I am actually not allowed to accept gifts from them. I don't know why so many teachers expect a year end gift. I get a paycheck and health insurance. I wasn't aware that it was required to send a year end gift. Actually, that makes it a requirement not a gift. That is not to say I have never given a gift to a teacher that did a great job and made a different in my child's life.

Donna - June 1st, 2013 at 9:26 AM
"I got not ONE end of the year gift" and you are teaching English in class? How about a lump of coal!
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 3:43 PM
I can relate to working at home and on weekends and being away from my kids. But nobody tells me I"m loved and I don't get paid extra. I think it's just called being a professional.
Being a teacher is truly a thankless job. Those of us who have done it and do it are usually in it because they love kids and believe in what they are doing. I wonder what it would be like to treat them more like professionals than like our friends who are babysitting our kids?

Tonya - May 31st, 2013 at 10:19 AM
I'm a teacher. Ditto to Deana's sentiment (except I REALLY feel for a principal!)
Lillian - May 31st, 2013 at 11:33 AM
I am a teacher, also, and I wish my principal had that attitude. She thinks we can actually keep their noses to the grindstone and teach them new things right to the end of the last day.
joe - May 31st, 2013 at 12:00 PM
Well since you're a teacher and that's your JOB, you should at least TRY to teach them new things up to the end of the last day.

Here's a novel idea, why don't you teach the curriculum?

It is teachers like you who are responsible for the sad state that our education system is in.
Susie Sunshine - May 31st, 2013 at 12:19 PM
And it's parents like you that make it SO MOTIVATING to be a teacher...
J - May 31st, 2013 at 2:30 PM
I am demanding of my kiddos teachers because I am demanding of myself and my children. Set high expectations for your self and the others around you and lead by example. We have got to stop going back and forth in this stereotypical nonsense. Educate our children, teach our children and we all need to stop whining!
Renee - May 31st, 2013 at 4:05 PM
Why don't you just home school if you're so demanding? Educate your own children and quit using our tax dollars to do it if you're so unhappy. These teachers are overworked and underpaid and on top of it they have to deal with people like you. Ease up and laugh a little. It would do your kids some good!
c - May 31st, 2013 at 4:07 PM
Mark my words, your kids will grow up hating you and you will get to visit them in jail!!!
Vicki - May 31st, 2013 at 12:21 PM
And parents likeYOU are the reason kids can't think.
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 3:51 PM
Amen to that
Kevin - May 31st, 2013 at 12:22 PM
Joe,
I am guessing that you have never tried to teach anything to 30 children on a sunny day who have absolutely no interest in paying attention to anything you have to say. We all have tough days at work, for teachers then tend to group at the end of the school year. So, ease up on your criticism until your get some perspective.
joni - May 31st, 2013 at 12:52 PM
Kevin, Ignore Joe. I am a mother of 2. My daughter went to school today in pajamas to watch a movie and do show and tell. We have 16 days of school left. I think this was a brilliant move on her teachers part!
Danne - May 31st, 2013 at 1:11 PM
THANK YOU, KEVIN! You get it!
george - May 31st, 2013 at 6:00 PM
No I don't teach 30 children, I get to teach 30 to 45 adults who act like kids because they don't want to keep up with the times and expect to keep their jobs without learning new programs and processes.
Jackie - May 31st, 2013 at 12:24 PM
I think you should walk a mile in someone's shoes before you make derogatory comments like that. When is the last time you tried to teach something new to 28 (or 35) elementary kids on the last few days before summer holidays, when kids are tired and just want to be outside? I loved these comments and as a mom and teacher, can relate to them ALL!
cmoursler - May 31st, 2013 at 12:35 PM
As a homeschooling mom of just one child...may I say getting my child to stay inside is very difficult. I can't imagine how it must be for a teacher with 30 kids.
Kierstin - May 31st, 2013 at 1:15 PM
yes becuae then you will be a mile away and they will have no shoes!

Jaime - May 31st, 2013 at 12:39 PM
interesting Joe. have you ever taught? even one day? here we love to repeat the true story of a parent who just knew that she could do so much better than her child's teachers. she was asked to substitute one day. first period: she slapped a child's face and went home. we never heard from her again. try it Joe, and get an education.

Kandice - May 31st, 2013 at 2:14 PM
Oh my land, that is hysterical!

Cathy - May 31st, 2013 at 12:41 PM
Hey Joe,
I'm not a teacher or a parent. But please, SUCK IT!
a fellow - May 31st, 2013 at 1:57 PM
^ Amen Cathy!! I love this!

clare - May 31st, 2013 at 2:01 PM
i have to say i wholeheartedly agree with this
Jenifer - May 31st, 2013 at 12:50 PM
You try teaching 30 kids when the sun is shining and its 90 some degrees outside!!!! At least they try to teach our children what do you do??
Jenny - May 31st, 2013 at 1:13 PM
I teach 5 kids at Sunday School for one hour, one day a week and I'm thoroughly exhausted by the end of that hour during this time of year. The thought of having 30 kids for 7-8 hours makes me want to run into a hole and cry it out. :) More power to the teachers that are able to accomplish anything right before the end of the school year.
Marji - May 31st, 2013 at 2:38 PM
Jenny-I did the SS thing for many years and 2 weeks of VBS. Absolutely agree with you - it's intense and all I could do to not yell the entire hour. When I was young I thought I'd be a great teacher -- but boy, an hour Sunday morning is PLENTY. Perhaps Joe should try that approach first before he takes on the 5 days a week experience?

I have to admit that when my kids were in school I slowed down on the reading/homework/looking for teacher notes late winter. They also would have to buy their lunch about that time because all of the lunchboxes were lost.
Adrienne - May 31st, 2013 at 12:52 PM
Here's a novel idea, Joe. If you don't think teachers are so hot at doing their jobs, home teach. Today's PARENTS are the reason today's younger generations are failing. Not the teachers.
J M - May 31st, 2013 at 1:43 PM
That is not true and a narrow opinion, Least we all forget the old saying, IT TAKES A VILLAGE! It takes both parents and teachers to form our youths of today and that is what is missing a united front against the system showing support instead of pointing fingers. When something goes down with our children parents need to stop painting them as little angels like their child would never do anything wrong, asses not just blatantly blame the teachers and vise versa. Acknowledgement and accountability!
Awilliams - May 31st, 2013 at 2:13 PM
Amen!

Name - May 31st, 2013 at 2:31 PM
I think you think a little too much about your importance! Our High School teachers are the ones molding and shaping. The poor Middle School teachers are lucky to survive with all the hormones. The elementary teachers think that there signed agendas, signed papers, 5 minutes of missed recess, etc, etc, etc, makes a difference. It does not! Be kind! Be loving! Be supportive! Work with the parents! Then, and only then, will your parents appreciate you!
DHolt - May 31st, 2013 at 7:34 PM
Wow Name! Sounds like you think elementary teachers are glorified babysitters. Every year is important that a child is in school. Each teacher makes a difference and molds and shapes a child. Actually, the personality and morals of a child is set way before they even enter high school.
Rachel - May 31st, 2013 at 9:38 PM
Being a Sophmore in high school, I have to say that if my elementary school teachers had not instilled in me a love of reading, math, and science, as well as a desire to do my best work, I would not be the person I am today. They taught me about how to live a good life, and be a good person. My Middle school teachers helped me learn to be motivated, to study, to develop good habits, and they gave me the skills I would need for high school. The teachers I have had this past school year have been some of the most wonderful people, and they are well suited to helping in the transition to adulthood and college. So Name? Please don't say that any specific grade has MORE of an influence. Each has a different influence, and can be for better or worse. My teachers' influences have been for the better, and I am wholeheartedly grateful for that.
Dailene Gardner - May 31st, 2013 at 10:19 PM
Well said!

cindy - May 31st, 2013 at 12:57 PM
Ouch! She didn't say she doesn't try. Just being real that its tough.
Leslie - May 31st, 2013 at 12:58 PM
It is overhwlemed parents like all of these and idiotic politicians that are responsible for the sad state of our education - dipshit!
angie - May 31st, 2013 at 1:03 PM
I am a teacher and I DO teach up to the last day. If you are a bit creative it doesn't have to feel like work and everything we do does not have to be graded. I am a tired mom as well as a tired educator. I wrapped up IEP writing, meetings, final exams, graduation and am in the throes of planning my own children's end of year things. (One graduation party tomorrow.) We just all need to take a breath, put one foot in front of the other and press on. We will all make it.
Mrs. B - May 31st, 2013 at 1:44 PM
I'm a teacher too, and a mom. I'm not going to pretend that I am a superwoman. Her post made me laugh, and relate. I'm thankful she was there in the beginning, and truth be told, she is still in there, despite the feelings of desperation.


E - May 31st, 2013 at 6:19 PM
I am a 2nd grade teacher and mother of 3, and must say I chuckled at the reality of this post. I'm "that" teacher, but also "that" mom! Trying to maintain order and accountability in the classroom, throwing out extra assignments just trying to keep my students so busy that they don't go crazy, yet totally falling apart on the mom end! I, too, neglected to sign the folder, do the homework, read with the kid... You moms think it's bad, try being the teacher and listening to 20 kids decode in reading ALL DAY, and then have to come home and do it all over again with your with your own kids. It doesn't happen! Then you get to go to school and feel all incompetent among your colleagues (your children's teachers) for being such a slacking parent! Loved. This. Post. I'm totally with you!
Jennifer - May 31st, 2013 at 10:24 PM
Me too Angie. As an 8th grade teacher I view my job after testing as a chance to get kids ready for high school, and to do some of the fun enrichment activities that aren't exactly test prep friendly. My job goes to the last day, otherwise why not just quit after the tests? And yes I am also a tired Mom, but hey it is about to be over so make the most of it while you can.
Cindy - May 31st, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Usually, they have FINISHED the curriculum and are trying to find things to fill those extra hours they have.
Main reason it's movie time and game time ;)
Thanks for playing, Joe

Signed ~ a TEACHER who does HER job! ;)
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 1:07 PM
Obviously you have never been in a school where students have checked out becasue of STATE TESTIN. you try teaching students so much and then continuing to push once they are burnt out. What is YOUR job buddy?
jks730 - May 31st, 2013 at 1:08 PM
Wow Joe - what an ass - are even an involved parent - being a teacher is hard which is why I work in corporate American because there's not enough money in teaching for me to put up with a parent like you.

marybeth - May 31st, 2013 at 1:18 PM
Joe, You are clearly in the wrong area. This is supposed to be funny! And it is!! Every parent has felt this way one time or another! Lighten up Francis.
flybigd - May 31st, 2013 at 2:40 PM
I love to say "lighten up, Francis" too and thought of that when I read the same comment.
Jen - May 31st, 2013 at 1:21 PM
Joe did you know most teachers make less an hour than a 14 yr old babysitting your kids, but you would like them to mold your student to the end of the year. If you did that to a babysitter you would never be able to leave them with one because know one would work that hard for that little pay!! Be glad your teachers care enough to even teach. Now days teachers that are teaching do it for the LOVE of it, because most I know spend as much or more than they make, so that your children love to learn. How about volunteering in your school for an hour a week and then make the comments you make about teachers and teaching. I spend 17 hours working a week at my childrens school and then turn around and volunteer 2 hours a week because my teachers are working their fingers to the bone. Believe me I wish parents took more responsibility for their children's education. If your child is falling behind start with looking at HOME!

Name - May 31st, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Joe, take a deep breath and get over yourself. I think this whole exchange is meant to be lighthearted and amusing. Go outside and enjoy the sunshine or rain or whatever is going on in your part of the world. Believe me, most teachers ARE teaching up to the very end. That's how we roll. Be nice!

Howard - May 31st, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Back off, Joe! Do you have any idea how creative teachers must need to be to keep our kids even remotely interested when the summer sirens are calling? And it ain't teachers like her responsible for our education system's sad state. It's a broad-based SOCIETAL responsibility with many parties to blame including pop culture, elected politicians and school boards who push dumbed-down curriculum, parents who expect teachers to do all the heavy lifting. Sure, there are teachers who aren't cutting it, but in my experience they are the minority. (By the way I'm a parent, not a teacher and my experience is all from school districts in OR, WA and CA, so I have no idea what it's like in other states.)
mdurbin - May 31st, 2013 at 1:37 PM
a little harsh
Michelle - May 31st, 2013 at 1:41 PM
No, it is parents that are responsible for the sad state our education system is in! As a "retired" homeschool mom and the mother of 3 daughters, one who is a phenomenal teacher - it is the PARENTS problem!! Teaching a classroom of "princes and princesses" is the biggest problem! Teach the curriculum??? Really??? Almost all the kids have a "reason" why they can't learn - I.e., can't focus, can't handle rejection, easily distracted, etc. Noooooo, the problem is not the teachers!!!!! GET A GRIP!!!!
Tank - June 1st, 2013 at 9:42 AM
Ouch. I'm a homeschool parent myself, but I don't think you can categorically say all parents are responsible for the sad state of education today. Some parents are not great parents, some teacher are not great teachers, and the educational systems themselves have become so big, they are out of control. Our youth culture is most to blame.
DM - May 31st, 2013 at 1:55 PM
Apparently, you have never worked in a school. Give a try for a few days in early May...every parent should! Might just give you a whole new perspective!
Lauren - May 31st, 2013 at 2:02 PM
Hey Joe, have you ever tried teaching? Give it a whirl for just a day, actually a half a day. Then tell me how you taught the curriculum, graded about 100 papers, attended an early morning meeting, met with a parent after school to discuss a child's progress, made 3 parent phone calls, cleaned up some throw-up, made at least 1,000 copies, signed up for yet another district committee, got evaluated by your principal on being a "highly qualified teacher", had about 20 minutes to scarf down lunch while setting up math manipulatives and pumping because it's your ONLY break, didn't get a chance to pee , and oh yeah, got yelled at by parents for the "sad state that our education system is in." PS, it's parents' job too.

Name - May 31st, 2013 at 2:05 PM
Joe since you are such an educational enthusiast, how about putting in some volunteer hours at the school during the end of year to show how much you care:>
egore - May 31st, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Actually, Joe (if that's your real name ...), it's sarcastic people like you that obviously have NO CLUE about what it takes to be a teacher these days. Yes, we have a curriculum to teach ... that very rarely aligns to what is on the NCLB standardized testing ... that requires a mound of ridiculously repetitious paperwork ... on top of the mound of daily accountability paperwork, which is often ridiculously repetitive as well ... with 120 to 160 students that require daily individual attention because way, way, WAY too many of them have parents that don't even pretend to care ... At least the parents in these comments are trying - thank you!!
Wendy - May 31st, 2013 at 2:30 PM
I'm with Joe! Since when should you feel owed special thanks and attention just for doing your job? I spent 30 years supporting our government. I didn't get annual thank you gifts! I just did my job.
Me - May 31st, 2013 at 3:05 PM
Uh no, Joe. It is the government involvement, greedy school systems, and the ridiculous attitudes of the parents that are responsible for the sad state public education is in. NOT teachers. I'm not an educator...but I SO feel for what our teachers have to put up with these days and for a minimal salary. God bless you all for your passion and your hard work!
Teacher - May 31st, 2013 at 3:15 PM
Wow. That was a horrendously rude comment, most likely made by someone who has never ever taught a day in their life. That makes me sick to my stomach. Kids and teachers are wrung out by the end of the year. We do come into summer clinging by our fingernails. I could go on and on, but I am not going to bother. It won't matter what I say, anyway.

20 years of teaching. The disrespect for teachers keeps on coming and gets worse every single year.
Kim - May 31st, 2013 at 3:17 PM
Maybe Joe was that kid sitting there attentively after adjusting his glasses - hanging on the teachers' every word - thinking "I wish there we could have one hundred more school days!" - while the rest of the class was talking, throwing things at each other, and doing just about anything else but listening because it was the last week of school! This post was about me, man - the mom who gets stuck with all the school "chores" - which I am guessing "Joe" has actually never done. My son was upset for me not signing his planner on the last day of school?! Please! We all can't be perfect like you Joe, sorry
Matt - May 31st, 2013 at 3:34 PM
Well Joe, I would hope you do yours as a parent. Or if you think our education system is a failure volunteer your time to tutor. If you think any child is in the right mind to learn more that last week of school you must've never been to school. Especially high school kids who check out the second year books are issued. Go back under your rock, because it's people like you that are pushing great teachers out of the profession because they seem to be able to deal with the lower pay (which needs to be fixed in the US) but it's parents that don't take educating at home more seriously and then don't believe the teachers when they state Billy or Sally isn't finishing their assignments, or asking for them to fix their grades because they had to go on a two week vacation, or just outright calling teachers liars because they don't feel their children have done anything wrong ever. Ask any teacher I'm sure they have tons of episodes like that. So to sit and state our system is failing because they don't have them writing reports until the last day is moronic, just like your post.
Brenda - May 31st, 2013 at 3:39 PM
Yes! we have great principals who know the kids are so done too! In May kids turn into .....well Im at a loss for words to describe them!! and joe you're an idiot who has no clue what end of year is like for anyone!!
Jess - May 31st, 2013 at 3:51 PM
Joe, you are so smart and can teach up to the last day IF you can hold their attention that long. If the curriculum has not been taught by the end of the school year there is no way a teacher can cram it all in - one day. I'd love to be a fly on the wall and watch you since you have no idea what the heck you are talking about.
carrie - May 31st, 2013 at 4:07 PM
hey joe, get a life.
Karen - May 31st, 2013 at 4:50 PM
No, Joe. It is people like you who somehow feel that you know what it's like to be a teacher because you went to school, that is responsible for the sad state our education system is in. I am not a teacher myself, but come from a very proud, dedicated line of teachers, who LOVE the kids they teach and do work hard to help kids grow into we'll-educated. HAPPY, and productive citizens! Supportive parents are so very important in this process. Unfortunately for your children, you are not one of those parents.
HD - May 31st, 2013 at 5:06 PM
If it is so easy then why don't YOU do it JOE?
Erin - May 31st, 2013 at 5:11 PM
Actually Joe, the curriculum is wrapped up long before the last day of school due to standardized testing (I know, it's weird but true). Usually after that teachers try to fit in the 'fun' and interesting stuff that isn't on those tests that help make it entertaining as well as educational. Kids know when the end of school is, and their attention shrinks to nearly nothing! As a teacher it's all you can do from having them run screaming around the room let along get them to focus long enough to learn something new. No bust on teachers for the difficulties that the end of the year bring. Just enjoy the fact that there are people who are willing to take on a profession where you are all of those things listed by others: nurse, surrogate parent, therapist, caregiver, educator, referee, life coach, etc.
Terry - May 31st, 2013 at 5:55 PM
Hmmmmm. I don't think "Joe" has a clue or possibly has no children???
Elizabeth - May 31st, 2013 at 6:10 PM
So Joe, what job do you have? It does not sound as though you are or were a teacher and have any notion of what it is actually like in a classroom with 40 highly energetic 10 year olds.
JJ - May 31st, 2013 at 7:23 PM
Hey, Joe, what do you do for a living? Have you ever thought that maybe the system is flawed? Or the curriculum? Or the teacher? Or the administration? What are YOU doing to make a difference? As a retired educator with three children, I've seen it all. I've seen good teachers and bad. Good parents and bad. This blog is about what goes on at the end of the year. Do you have kids? Are you responsible for them or is someone else? If you want to blame someone for the "sad state that our education is in" (and by the way, you don't end a sentence in a preposition - just sayin'...), them perhaps you should look for the elected officials from the board of trustees all the way up and those that voted for them.
christina - May 31st, 2013 at 9:58 PM
wow! "Joe" just doesn't get it! my little girl is too young for school right now.....but i can still totally relate to this mother of five. wow! i am exhausted with just taking care of and educating my 2 year old,AND taking care of my recently disabled husband.( he was run over by 12 ton dumptruck a year ago.) i am soooo exhausted trying to be a "good mom" and make sure my 2 year old eats healthy, and learns all the 'basics' ( read to her, teach body parts, colors, numbers, alphabet, songs,potty training,etc) plus get outside time and stays busy....sigh...it's tough. especially since we don't have a babysitter, or family around to give us/me a break! even a 60 minute break would be sooo appreciated. i'm sleep deprived because my husband requires help at all hours and it is never anything 'quick fixed' either. i was a substitute teacher for two years and i could see and understand how hard it is for teachers. kids these days are getting more and more out of hand! i have horror stories i could share of things the students were going through in their personal lives, that they shared with me (i always pulled the 'troublemakers' aside and just plainly asked them what was up? why are you giving me a hard time, EVERYTIME, no exaggeration ALL ages 7 and up would tell me they were dealing with personal issues at home or whatever) teachers have ALL that to deal with and more....and i can only imagine, with a little bit of anxiety :), that i am going to have even more to deal with once she starts school! my heart goes out this parent. i see the humor, you have to laugh or you cry. :) it sooo good to vent. i love my family completely, however that doesn't take the stress away. just gives me reason to keep going. :) i applaud this mother for saying what is 'hard' sometimes to admit, but we ALL need a break every now and then.
Dawn - May 31st, 2013 at 8:06 PM
Yep - I'm a high school principal on a k-12 campus. My son is in 4th grade at my school. I'm on the *same* campus with him all day everyday and I cannot figure out when his end-of-year assembly is! And sign the reading log? really? I just spent all day at graduation rehearsal teaching these darlings how to march... NO! I cannot sign the reading log!
Joanne - May 31st, 2013 at 8:12 PM
Same here ladies!! I'm a high school teacher - seniors - it took all of my energy and fortitude to create relevant lessons for those student who were "checking out" while I was following them out through the "check out" line!!! I have a high schooler - who's visually impaired - and a middle schooler who's just a ...middle schooler!! In 21 years, I've never wanted it all to end like I do this year! The blog made me laugh so hard - I was crying!

Regina - May 31st, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Love it..... please, please pass it on to the principal!!!! (-:
Name - June 1st, 2013 at 7:21 AM
I am a principal and I loved it too!!
jenn - May 30th, 2013 at 10:30 PM
hahahahaha, we got to school late yesterday and on the way out of the house i saw the reminder paper about the Kindergarten awards ceremony that was scheduled for 9am...the exact time we were leaving the house...oh well, he will still move on to 1st grade, right?!?!?! lol
Jessica - May 31st, 2013 at 8:44 AM
I slept through my daughters kindergarten graduation. Top that.
QueenJosephine - May 31st, 2013 at 9:13 AM
I can't top that because it is greatness!!!! Hahahahahahah a!!!!!!
Linda - May 31st, 2013 at 10:54 AM
So funny!!! I am a grandma, now, but truly can remember back to those hard, exhausting times!! Lol!!!

Deb - May 31st, 2013 at 11:01 AM
That's okay in this day and age they graduate many times in their school life. When I was a kid we only did it after 12th grade. So you will have many more chances.
Soontobedad - May 31st, 2013 at 11:07 AM
They have a graduation for kindergarten? What in the world for? Man, things have changed since I was in grade school....
Mamashak - May 31st, 2013 at 12:10 PM
And preschool......
Kay - May 31st, 2013 at 11:26 AM
I fussed that there wasn't a kinder graduation for my son. There was, I just never received notification or If I did, completely forgot it. I learned this when attending this year's awards ceremony.
Kris - May 30th, 2013 at 11:24 PM
I have so been there. As a teacher of high school students and the mother of three boys, the stay at home moms will tell me they got pictures of son#3 they are willing to share because there is no way I could go to the awards ceremony, as I am administering final exams and a sub does not want to be there so I say I am proud of you when in August I clean out said backpack to see if it can be used another year.
Sara - May 31st, 2013 at 6:02 AM
You're a teacher? What you wrote is almost incomprehensible!
TigerWoods - May 31st, 2013 at 6:38 AM
I agree, very poorly written.
didar - May 31st, 2013 at 6:57 AM
lol you guys are brutal...It's a rant. no punctuation, and in real life she isn't even taking a breath. lol

louis - May 31st, 2013 at 11:35 AM
That's obvious. Her brain is starved for oxygen or may no longer require it.
Tiffani - May 31st, 2013 at 10:21 AM
You, my dear, need to lighten up and buy a sense of humor. Over-achiever. Your poor kids.
Kim - May 31st, 2013 at 11:39 AM
Tiger Woods is judging? I have just enough pep in my step to deliver one last punch in the throat before you move on to your "room mommy organizational algorhythm" email.

Dana - May 31st, 2013 at 11:58 AM
Hahahaha Tiffani...tell her. Seriously, it's not like we are re-writing the constitution! Just a simple rant to let out the end of year frustrations!
hollyhobbie - May 31st, 2013 at 6:42 AM
Please be gentle. She may very well be a math teacher and writing is not her forte.
Aaron - May 31st, 2013 at 6:51 AM
Grammar trolls are the worst.
Hdbfly - May 31st, 2013 at 12:34 PM
Why is it so hard to write with correct punctuation and proper tenses? I thought the woman's comment was funny (although it took me a while to read it) but why can't there be periods, at least?

I'm a university prof and the writing of a lot of my students is atrocious. No sentence structure, incorrect tenses, minimal punctuation. We all wrote correctly all the time--yes, even in emails and replies to other people's comments.
Sharon - May 31st, 2013 at 6:59 AM
Wow, that's a bit rude! I could read it.
Blair - May 31st, 2013 at 12:36 PM
Goodness, check out the snarkiness. Yes, that is my own made up word and I taught English for 7 years. Get over it. I could read it and I AM a grammar troll! Well, I was until I became a librarian. From a librarian, kudos to you teachers! Now we get to see the little dears come swarming into the library for three months hopefully to check out and read books, but more likely it's to use the computer and get on facebook and youtube. Have a great summer parents and teachers! Take a deep calming breath over the next few months!
Kim - May 31st, 2013 at 7:02 AM
Seriously, lighten up! However, the entire string was seriously funny and made my morning. I really wish we could check out after spring testing, but no...the nightmare continues!
Krista - May 31st, 2013 at 8:40 AM
I understood it just fine. There always has to be someone to turn the comments section of a blog ugly. You get that award!!
Jerrie - May 31st, 2013 at 11:02 AM
Bless you. It can be read and she's not writing something to be published.
mary - May 31st, 2013 at 8:41 AM
That's the point! Moms are in a state of incomprehensibility by April! Thank God my 'kids' are now middle aged! LOL!
Fitz - May 31st, 2013 at 8:46 AM
You're criticizing someone who misses her son's events to be there for other kids and their parents? Your rudeness to her is incomprehensible to me.
Louie - May 31st, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Amen!

Deleana - May 31st, 2013 at 9:04 AM
Just because she's a teacher doesn't mean she can write.
Janice - May 31st, 2013 at 9:07 AM
You don't have children, do you?
Terri - May 31st, 2013 at 10:10 AM
Not anymore-my only son died while in school> I miss him terribly and wish I had all your problems!
Kathy - May 31st, 2013 at 10:29 AM
Prayers to you and your family, Terri. I'm sorry for your loss.
Vicky - May 31st, 2013 at 11:34 AM
My daughter died last year, two months before her preK graduation. I went anyway to see her friends "graduate" knowing I would never have that chance again. We have to be gently with ourselves and with others.
Babs - May 31st, 2013 at 11:40 AM
My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you.
Jesse - May 31st, 2013 at 9:23 AM
Oh my heavens...she was HILARIOUS and wrote exactly how I feel toward the end of the year. My daughter is in year-round school, however, so I don't catch a break. Two weeks between grades. Sigh...thankfully my husband makes up for it.
Gordon - May 31st, 2013 at 9:24 AM
Exactly, I hope this person doesn't teach English.
Gayle Hubbard - May 31st, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Who cares!! It was funny! Get over yourself!
Tonya - May 31st, 2013 at 9:54 AM
It's free verse...and it's fabulous.
Kate - May 31st, 2013 at 10:16 AM
Wow! It's a BLOG not a paper. Get over yourself!!!
Molly - May 31st, 2013 at 10:28 AM
She didn't say she was an ENGLISH teacher. ;D

Lori - May 31st, 2013 at 10:33 AM
If you can't appreciate the humor in the rant, which is what this is, not a final term paper. Then don't respond! You are ruining the fun for the rest of us!

Jane - May 31st, 2013 at 10:42 AM
If you notice it was written at 11:24 PM, probably the only time she gets a break. I'm a teacher also and my personal email time is usually between 10-12 at night. Once my kids are in bed it's end of the year reports to work on, grades to submit, our job doesn't end when the bell rings.
b - May 31st, 2013 at 11:01 AM
Give me a break. This whole post is about dealing with overload, and you are criticizing a teacher, who is a mother on overload, for her writing on a blog comment??? Have some empathy. Think of how hard it is for you as a mother, then triple it for mothers who are also teachers. The end of the year for a teacher means not one extra minute. I have stayed up till 2 am the last two nights doing report cards and I am not done yet. Please.
Meredith - May 31st, 2013 at 12:18 PM
Your rant was great! It was just flowing from your brain it seems. I would not want some of these rude people to see my midnight post when I am having trouble sleeping. You have empathy,sympathy and compassion. Thanks for all you do.M
Pat burke - May 31st, 2013 at 11:19 AM
I have two daughters that are both teachers and mothers. If you think you people are tired think of our poor teachers. They are the ones that have to stop teaching because your kid is late and interrupts the class with his late entrance. They are the ones that have to repeat the lesson because your kid didn't do the homework and now doesn't understand the procedure. They are the ones that go home to their own children and loose their patience with them because they have been yelling at 30 undisciplined kids all day. Or in the case of middle school teachers 150 kids all day. They are not allowed to touch a child but never know when a child will strike out against them by hitting, kicking, or calling them a bitch. We do not appreciate our teachers anymore. They are considered the problem when the problem lies with teaching to the test, administration and parents who always take the side of the child. So get off your lazy buts, read to your kids and teach them responsibility, and discipline them. I know my granddaughters are being read to, disciplined and being taught responsibility no matter how tired their teacher mothers are at the end of the day.
Cait - May 31st, 2013 at 11:40 AM
What a great way to take a funny, steam-blowing blog and turn it into a mammoth guilt trip for all involved, while implying that anyone who doesn't homeschool while simultaneously baking brownies is a lazy slitch. We appreciate the wonderful teachers who engage and teach our children when we don't have the skills or knowledge. We do NOT appreciate people who demand recognition for glorified babysitting (during which they daydream about beating our kids). Thank you for reminding me to be grateful that my kids' teachers are kind human beings with dedication.
Pat - May 31st, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Well said! And thanks! I was a teacher, then an administrator. Now I'm retired and do NOT miss the end of the year crazies one teensy bit. And my heart bleeds for my daughter, once a teacher, now an administrator, who is suffering through the "hundred days of May." She's the admin in charge of her school's 12th grade graduation. AND her daughter graduated 8th grade last night. She was there to support and hug her daughter, of course, but her weariness showed. Her sister compassionately offered to have a party for the graduate on Sunday when the admin sister's graduation duties will be finished! This teaching and learning and parenting stuff is not easy this time of year. I bow at the feet of you who still do it.
Becky - May 31st, 2013 at 1:03 PM
I am a mom as well as a kindergarten teacher and can really relate to this article. I am not perfect. I have missed signing my son's folder. I have missed sending items needed for school. But I always try. I teach my son to be responsible... to hand me the important notes, to remind me to sign his folder, etc. Do I feel like the world's worst mom? Sometimes... Am I? Not even close. I think there is a fine line between accepting our limits/ downfalls and not beating ourselves up for our imperfections; and giving in to the chaos and letting our children's education no longer be a priority to us. I get frustrated when parents do not read notes, send in items, etc..., but I am quick to be understanding of parents who are doing their best. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs there is. We need to stick together!
Luteydog - May 31st, 2013 at 11:55 AM
Are you serious?? This is the funniest thing I have read in months and it makes perfect sense to me. If this doesn't make sense to you, then you need to adopt a few more kids (6 should do it), volunteer as the room mom for half of them and the party mom for the other half. Then take a "part-time" job teaching 1st grade. Keep that schedule for 9 months and get back to us.
Carole - May 31st, 2013 at 11:57 AM
Seriously?!? Lighten up folks! I think someone needs a good dose of "humor" ! :P
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 12:01 PM
Mean
Lisa - May 31st, 2013 at 1:33 PM
Makes sense to me. She's an exhausted working mom that has to rely on other moms to take pictures of her children at important events. Thanks Kris for taking care of your students so well, even when it means sacrifices in other parts of your life!
Donna - May 31st, 2013 at 9:18 AM
You're a teacher of High School students? Wow, I certainly hope it's not in the field of Language Arts...
Jacque - May 31st, 2013 at 10:10 AM
Yeah, that's already been covered. Move on!
Harvey - May 31st, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Dear Grammar Troll. Your doing it wrong.
Janet - May 31st, 2013 at 8:37 AM
I found a sympathy card in my son's backpack from his eighth grade teacher. It was right after my dad passed away the previous January, and it was right before he started 9th grade that fall!
Tanya - May 31st, 2013 at 11:56 AM
HA I LOVE IT! This year I missed sending my daughter in the "required" purple shirt for the field trip, forgot tennis shoes for track day, fought with the school about lunch money because I was 2 DAYS short of the last day of school when I thought my college math skills could handle the calculation, missed my other daughters last day of school and pre-school end-of-year party because I was too lazy to take her to school (I didn't even know it was her last day or about the party because I didn't check her backpack for important notes) I only learned of this when another parent says, "I didn't see you yesterday at the school... is Aubrey not feeling well?" I just stared with a deer caught in the headlights look and lied that she was not feeling well. Luckily my daughter did not hear this conversation to blurt out she feels fine... at her last conference I walked in with my head down coming up with no good excuse for her homework not being done for the last 8 weeks and I cant say I want to face her again for the 3 weeks after that It got done once. ..you hit the nail on the head with the burnout and the torture of listening to your kids read .... mine force me too look at the pictures before moving on and it takes away from the game of Bejeweled I play on my phone while I hide it next to my leg to pass the time and once in a while Im busted and scolded for not paying attention... :)
Melissa C - May 31st, 2013 at 12:12 PM
The same thing happened to me - THANK YOU for making me feel better : ) This blogpost made me laugh so much - thanks for being real.
Jane - May 31st, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Good for him :) way to go!!
Anna - June 1st, 2013 at 1:29 AM
I just opened this email from school: FOR REALLLZZZZZ??????


Dear Parents,
%u200B
On Monday, I will be sending home an assignment for the students that will be a research project for Social Studies. Our last unit of the year will be on heroes throughout history. They will do research and create a poster about a famous hero from the past. Please look for a note and directions in the yellow homework folder on Monday.
Mallory - May 30th, 2013 at 9:07 PM
Why is it so hard for kids to tell their parents about their own backpacks though?
Tom - May 31st, 2013 at 5:41 AM
Because so many parents are still wiping their kids butts when they are ten years old. Kids don't have responsibility because parents are more and more self absorbed...they'd rather text their twelve year olds than speak to them...
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 6:03 AM
Oh please! I am so tired of hearing about what a crummy job parents are doing. Maybe kids forget about their backpacks because THEY ARE KIDS are kids forget stuff. They'll get it eventually.
Violet - May 31st, 2013 at 12:25 PM
What Name said.
marcia - May 31st, 2013 at 6:09 AM
Tom- you are so right! However, I've got the upper hand with living on a farm. My kids don't have an option of not having responsibilities. It's a beautiful thing. :)
Lori - May 31st, 2013 at 7:21 AM
Gasp..... My children are still required to do dishes, by hand! They hound me about the papers that need signed because they have to be responsible too. And if they don't and they miss the activity I manage to turn it into a learning experience about being a very busy adult. I laughed out loud and enjoyed the costume especially:) way to be creative mom!
Elise - June 1st, 2013 at 7:06 AM
YES! Finally! School is the responsibility of the child, not the parent! It is the parents' job to prepare the child for school, but then it is the child's job to complete assignments, projects and notify parents about things that need our attention. If they don't, they suffer the consequences and, wait for it... LEARN SOMETHING!!! Thanks, Lori, Tom and Marcia.
Jim - May 31st, 2013 at 6:19 AM
So true....parents just won't admit it.
Jillian Gross - May 31st, 2013 at 10:33 AM
How do you explain the parent who has, say 4 kids, and 3 are quite responsible, but the one kid just can't seem to get it together? I see this all the time.

david - May 31st, 2013 at 11:14 AM
right on!
Rhonda - May 31st, 2013 at 6:54 AM
My kids tell me sometimes. But really, how can I expect them to worry about it when I'm not that worried anymore? :)
Michelle - May 31st, 2013 at 7:02 AM
I know how you feel. But what's even worse is when your 17 YEAR OLD gives you a notice in FEBRUARY that graduation pictures were taken in NOVEMBER. It doesn't get any better with age.

Carol - May 31st, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Amen!
kim - May 31st, 2013 at 8:35 AM
I am just so happy to know I am not alone in my end of the school year negligence and overall feeling toward school at this point LOL
Marissa - May 30th, 2013 at 3:15 PM
I am a teacher and I laughed so hard I was crying. This is awesome!! I wish we could all just agree that the end of the school year is difficult and just stop after standardized testing.
carla - May 30th, 2013 at 5:59 PM
Good idea, I am a teacher too and it is also hard for us as well
The Mimb - May 30th, 2013 at 6:36 PM
As a K teacher, I totally relate!
Name - May 30th, 2013 at 8:36 PM
YES... Im a student... I HATE SITTING IN A DESK FOR 2 WEEKS AFTER TESTING WITH NOTHING TO DO.

Mechelle - May 30th, 2013 at 9:32 PM
Love your idea!

Name - May 30th, 2013 at 10:21 PM
Only 2 weeks? Our kids have 6 weeks!
Linda - May 30th, 2013 at 11:27 PM
I'm a teacher too and agree...agree...AGREE!!
Name - May 30th, 2013 at 11:08 PM
Agreed. I am sure it is hard for teachers too, but as a parent...yeah well, you don't care what we think. got it ;)
Audrey - May 31st, 2013 at 12:09 AM
Agree!
Jsmith - May 31st, 2013 at 5:24 AM
You do realize that most teachers are parents also.
Name - May 30th, 2013 at 7:09 PM
How about no standardized tests! Yay!

Momof5 - May 30th, 2013 at 10:42 PM
WITH YOU!!!! NO standardized testing!!! Our kids arent Standard!!!
D - May 31st, 2013 at 5:36 AM
But do they meet the national standards? If we're going to be competitive in education as a nation, we need some way to measure our progress.
Karen - May 31st, 2013 at 5:57 AM
That is actually bull, when there is standardized testing, there is standardized teaching to that test. Those tests only measure how well the teacher taught to the test. Frankly I'd be happy if my kids failed them all, then it would show the teachers were teaching, not teaching to the test.
Katie - May 31st, 2013 at 6:44 AM
What most school systems don't realize is that it is possible to just teach and the kids will pass the standardized tests. We homeschool and I do make them take standardized tests at the end of the year. I just teach them the subjects they need for graduation, college prep, life in general, and they are ALWAYS equivalent to 4 or more grade levels ahead on their testing.
Brian Vlasak, Ph.D. - May 31st, 2013 at 6:51 AM
Your comment is the ONLY comment on this entire page I felt was actually worthy of a reply. So thoughtful and insightful. You are absolutely correct in this assertion and I wish that our educators would rise up in a metaphorical collective anarchy to take down these ridiculous standards put in place by people who know nothing of what it means to teach and/or be a teacher (note the difference).
Kristi White - May 31st, 2013 at 12:01 PM
I am with Karen, this is bull. The scores on standardized tests are not true pass fail that you get with tests in school. They are graded on a curve based upon the average of a state. So, if there were 100 questions on the test and the average score of the state was 50% then that is the passing metric. So if you got 37 out of the 100 correct you still passed because that was in the 74% scale. Also, there is nothing standard about these, each state has a different test, so your score is only relative to the state you live in. We have stopped teaching to learn but teaching to test. Our country still ranks lower in education (74 out of industrialized nations) and this has gone down since we instituted standardized testing. The teachers are forced to teach at a pace that guarantees there isn't a mastery of the skills just rote memorization that doesn't help when you have to apply the knowledge. Standardized testing is the problem not the solution.
FURRYMOM - May 31st, 2013 at 9:05 AM
Most people don't know parents can write a letter and then they don't have to take that STUPID Standardized Test! My kids don't and haven't for years.

J - May 31st, 2013 at 9:15 AM
That's a slap in the teacher's face!
LaughAttack - May 31st, 2013 at 9:33 AM
Not true in our state. It is MANDATED. We cannot opt out.
Patricia - May 30th, 2013 at 8:11 PM
I am a teacher also and I was crying laughing two lines into this. I had to stop several times to catch my breath. It is all so true. I was just telling my students today, "School is not over. I have until midnight, June 5th to put your grades in. I am not going to start putting them in until 11:00 that night, so everything we are doing in class is for a grade." Really? Bleh. But it keeps them focused and working. We are all checked out! Fantastic blog!
Melony - May 30th, 2013 at 8:22 PM
This is so true, I'm a teacher too but we're there until June 27th, but I am done. I was done on Tuesday. I can't even imagine what the next 4, four, FOUR weeks are going to look like!!!!
Jules - May 30th, 2013 at 11:01 PM
My friend made a deal w his kids- all a/b and they earn a kindle. He was mortified when he told his boys they were all clear and 1 teacher had waited until the last day to put in the last test which resulted in a c.....
Mom checked out in December. Thank goodness for Dad who then stepped in and took his turn.
Megan - May 30th, 2013 at 11:49 PM
As a college professor, I've used that "I have until ____ to turn in grades, so, it's up to you if you blow off the end of the year." At which point I'm thinking "please, don't come to me at the last minute for extra credit that has been offered ALL YEAR to try to boost your grade. I don't care anymore. I'm done. Let's just get through finals and be done with this year, okay!

rach - May 31st, 2013 at 10:35 AM
loved every word, made me laugh,cry and even snort...so beautiful and honest
Lena - May 30th, 2013 at 10:28 PM
I'm a teacher and a cyber school mom!!! This is awesome. I just remind the kids at school and the kids at home each day - it's almost over and WE CAN DO THIS. (But we're not gonna pretend that it's real anymore- we're just gonna get through it!)

Lyndie - May 30th, 2013 at 10:35 PM
I am also a teacher with 4 children of my own that are still in school. This is so true. Glad to know I am not the only Mom out here in this boat. I laughed so hard the dog gave me dirty looks. Loved it.
Judy R. - May 30th, 2013 at 10:36 PM
I am a TIRED second grade teacher and this blog made me laugh so hard I cried too! The pictures are priceless! It is just so very hard for all of us to keep from losing our minds at this point! I guess all the teachers are trying to come up with activities interesting enough to keep the kids' attention for these last few days -- reading about the living history museum and the About Me poster really made me rethink what I've been doing! I am literally laughing out loud here -- I have really tried to concentrate on technology this year though so the parents haven't had to do a lot! I wonder if they realize what a blessing that is? Thanks for the laughter -- good therapy for me tonight!

Name - May 31st, 2013 at 1:47 PM
I am a mother of two wonderful/taltented/dedicated boys. I agree with you. Teachers deserve a break and my kids can used that time to relax after weeks of hard woking and getting ready for mandatory testing days :)
Allison - May 30th, 2013 at 6:10 PM
Thank you for letting me know that there are other mom's out there like me! I've been known to put a whole bag of Frito's in my daughters lunch because I am just so sick of coming up with nutritious meals for her. Just the other night, I signed her notebook for the next week so I wouldn't have to worry about it. Summer vacation cannot come soon enough!
Rebecca - May 30th, 2013 at 6:41 PM
Allison I've stooped to letting her eat school lunches, which just happens to be "cook's choice!"
Michelle - May 30th, 2013 at 8:13 PM
You are awesome, just plain awesome
shelly - May 30th, 2013 at 6:31 PM
That is my every night Kristi..
Pam - May 30th, 2013 at 8:49 PM
Funniest thing I've read in a long time!! I hate signing folders! I'm a teacher, but at the high school level so I don't have to assign mandatory homework (hate!) and send home folders. The mandatory homework kills me! I got my kids reduced because of his ADHD. Really, I just was tired of making him do more work on top of the 8 hours he already spent in school. I have also pre-signed folders for the next week!
mom/teacher - May 31st, 2013 at 6:53 AM
PLEASE don't pre-sign folders. As a first grade teacher, to me that says, "I really don't care about what my child does in your class". I'd much rather you sign a few days late and sign several days at the same time. To me "oops, I am so busy I forgot but I am still checking. " is SO much better than "I don't care! I am also a mother of two rising second graders and I LOVE the article.
Verity - May 30th, 2013 at 10:22 PM
THANK YOU!!!! My son also likes to wait until bed time to spring on the "I need to read" bit with me and until I read these comments and this article, I felt like a bad parent...now I see...I am just normal! so THANK YOU!
Lorren - May 30th, 2013 at 10:55 PM
I homeschool too. Right now playing Minecraft is counting for school for my six year old because it's teaching him how to read. I was impressed though, because he came up to me and asked me if the word "knife" started with a k, and had a "marker e" at the end. Why yes, it does. He's already learning to multiply, so he's okay with math. Throw in a little science and discuss history with him now and then, and we're good.

I'll be ready to go again in early September. We're hoping to do an online curriculum with dd. She's burned out too, but I want to push on through history, because I want to cover American history through the present. Next year she transitions to World history, so if I don't cover it now, she won't see it for another couple of years.
underwhelmed - May 30th, 2013 at 10:51 PM
Wow, I used to think the Tiger mom was a bad parent. But compared with you jokers at the other end of the spectrum, she is looking better all the time.
Learning all the time. - May 30th, 2013 at 11:31 PM
Thank you. I hate it HATE it when all kids do is watch movies or party after the end of the year tests. Lazy. Glad my kids' teachers actually use the time to teach things like art, projects, science and other things that the tests don't think are important.
Bonnie - May 31st, 2013 at 12:06 AM
Blaaahhhh
Jenn - May 31st, 2013 at 6:17 AM
Suck it. You probably make those little bento box lunches, dontcha?
Melissa - May 31st, 2013 at 9:11 AM
Only 180 days to teach everything per grade level and quite a few of those are half days. No time to waste, plenty of fun educational things to do and no I don't do bento boxes.
Leslie - May 30th, 2013 at 11:37 PM
don't wait until bedtime. Give kids an hour after school to wind down, then read and do other homework before dinner. Then it isn't as painful.
Lisa - May 31st, 2013 at 1:58 AM
I agree. It worked with the 27 and 29 year old when they were in school and since God blessed me with one when I was 40 I do the same thing. You know if it isn't broken don't fix it!

Cherie - May 31st, 2013 at 12:33 AM
OMG! I am crying from all the laughing!!! Love your wit!! SO WITH YOU! LOL
We have twin boys in 3rd grade (til next Thursday!), in separate classes.....double the paperwork, notifications, etc...IF they get them on the same day...or even bring them home!

The oldest brought home a presentation grade sheet today....for which he never WROTE a report, or did a poster or "model" for--it was on Mercury. He still scored 20/28!! Aced the report presentation, w/o actually having written one!

Thanks for the chuckles...my hubby was right there with me in stitches! Enjoy your summer!
Khollow - May 31st, 2013 at 2:06 AM
I do not appreciate you making fun of kids in Life Skills! You should be grateful your children do are not specials needs. You are teaching your kids to make fun of those kids. It is like making fun of those kids that ride the small bus. I have 6 kids three are special needs and I always make each one of them feel equal and the same. Shame on you for not doing the same!!!
Sarah - May 31st, 2013 at 3:23 AM
I think you're over reacting here . In my school every.single.student. took Life Skills. It's seems rash to get so angry when her school system may have the same name for different program.
K - May 31st, 2013 at 6:14 AM
apparently, you are too busy to participate in your child's education. shame on you
Deb - May 31st, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Apparently you have no idea what "tongue in cheek" means. Get over yourself.
Dawn - May 31st, 2013 at 7:07 AM
So glad this is not just me!!!
Barb B - May 31st, 2013 at 8:43 AM
Sadly, my September begins where you end in May. Can you now picture the disaster that I am at the end of the year?
Kris - May 31st, 2013 at 8:45 AM
My strategy at this point: "Just find a book you've already read and write about something that happened in it for your book log." I'm not even TRYING to justify it anymore.
Catherine - May 31st, 2013 at 9:34 AM
As an elementary school teacher, i am so sad for the children being discussed on this webpage, if there is any truth to this at all. Hopefully, this is just a gag or vast exaggeration on the part of people who are responsible for parenting them.
dandelyn - May 31st, 2013 at 9:37 AM
I am not a teacher and I am not sure I am even allowed to write here...but here goes anyways. I am a 57 year old mother of 3 grown children and grandmother to 5. I have raised two of these grandchildren since they were babies and a lot of days go by that I wonder how I raised my children since it has become more difficult to be older and still raising school age children. I have those same days...maybe even more...that I just don't know if I am doing all I need to be doing and doing it the right way. I have tremendous admiration and respect for a teacher who is trying to work teaching our kids and raising her own simultaneously. I know that feeling of being so tired and realizing you haven't read with your kids...or gone thru the bookbag in a while. I am so glad to hear so many of you are NORMAL people and don't let those perfectionist parents and fellow teachers put any of you on a guilt trip. I truly appreciate all you do for myself and my kids and hope you have a awesome summer!!
Jen's Husband - May 31st, 2013 at 10:31 AM
This is spot on. At our school each day 3rd graders get stickers for good behavior or notes for bad behavior and the parents are supposed to initial each day. Our 3rd grader gets notes so often we stopped initialing, about a month ago and last night I just asked out of curiosity whether he got a sticker and he said "no." Rather than lecture him anymore, I just mailed it in and said, "how about we just save both of us some time and you report when you get a sticker." I'm just done. But it's ok. We can't be perfect. We can only strive to be.

PS We've barely ever read to our third child. That is what the eldest sibling is for. And if he's not around, we'll I guess child number 3 will be illiterate.
Jennifer - May 31st, 2013 at 10:42 AM
OH MY! THIS IS HYSTERICAL!! I am a 5th grade teacher and a mother....I can TOTALLY relate to this! I am laughing so hard I am crying right now!
JD - May 31st, 2013 at 11:14 AM
your child has a better work ethic than you, with your example, when they are a teenager they will not care leading to their failure in life. you wouldn't be behind if you knew the kids school schedule and planned your day around it. An elementary school student is given a set routine of homework so they don't have to constantly remember what they need to do but it becomes a habit. And guess what. national holidays usually have a project due that week. presidents day? guess what they will be doing that week, maybe studying presidents? You chose to have a kid, so guess what your life consists of, your job, your kid, and 6hrs a week to have time for yourself, a date, whatever. that's it.
tlixx - May 31st, 2013 at 11:23 AM
Thankfully, I am past that particular pain (reading). Instead, our Junior high (8th graders) had not less than 5 projects due the week before Memorial Day, then came back from the long weekend to have their end of semester exams the last 2 days of school. High school end of course exams were the last day of classes. Not cool, man. Not. Cool.
Sue - May 31st, 2013 at 11:28 AM
Audio books - you get a professional actor to read to kiddos on the way home from school. Ta-daaaaaaaaa. :)

Teresa - May 31st, 2013 at 11:33 AM
I told my 9 year old last night, when she pulled that, she was smart enough for this year so don't worry about it and GO TO SLEEP.
Cortney - May 31st, 2013 at 11:53 AM
Homeschooling is waaaaaaaayyyyy easier!!! No take flowers to teacher days, no volunteering, no fundraising, you can do it in your jammies with a cup of coffee in your hand and it only takes half the time! One of my kids is already doing grade 8 level math and he just finished grade 6.....that's right, we're done for the year already. Most of the book work is done in the fall when you still feel that back to school excitement. And I have a special needs child (autistic) who is outgoing and funny because he isn't bullied (except maybe by his little sister :) ) His work is specialized to him, but still very manageable.
Sheila - May 31st, 2013 at 1:13 PM
If your kid isn%u2019t in danger of failing the grade, don%u2019t feel guilty about slacking off in May. First post I%u2019ve read on this blog (it was emailed to me); loved it!
Christy - May 31st, 2013 at 1:48 PM
We were counting internet time as reading time...lol, my 13 yr old reads ads for dirt bikes and rc cars for hours and then calls his dad to pursuade him to buy them! He spent 2 hrs a day minimum doing that...and I counted it, signed it and added extra credit for persuasive speech!
Jeanette - May 31st, 2013 at 2:41 PM
I am laughing so hard I'm crying! As my last child actually graduated from college last week and STARTED A JOB (in her field!) this week, I can tell you that you will survive ( I had 3 in 4 years)....and I remember those days...grueling! But also wonderful...frenetic....draining....bone-crushing tiring....full of life-changing moments and if I have to say one last thing...sometimes, in the heat of the moment, don't get mad, get the camera!
Lisa - May 31st, 2013 at 5:24 PM
I laughed the whole way through! But was so glad to hear it's not just me. I'm down to one left in school and I still have this issue. Thanks so much for sharing - it made my last torturous days a little lighter. Now if someone could just send over a story written in the Romance-Adventure style that we could borrow some ideas from, I'd be good to go.
Jennifer - May 31st, 2013 at 8:14 PM
I just did the same thing with my 6 year old last night. It was an hour past his bedtime and he was saying we needed to read. I would have LOVED to put it off until tonight, but this weeks work was due today. Plus he made the point "Mom, you have put it off everyday so far"..... Needless to say I had 4 books to read, an hour after bedtime which was cutting into my "me" time (And by "me" time I mean the crash on the couch and having no energy left to even grab the remote lol). But with 4 small children, it's hard to keep focused.
Lank steer - May 31st, 2013 at 11:04 PM
I laughed so hard with the article and comments. It is all so TRUE!!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!
Name - May 31st, 2013 at 11:39 PM
This is so me. I was feeling like I was the worst mom ever. My 6 year old is the oldest and this is the first time I have been through this!
Jacque - June 1st, 2013 at 7:39 AM
WE are soooooooooo with you!!!! Not one more math problem or poster!!!!!! Seriously teachers I have to go to work! Really? a 7:45-9:00 presentation of history projects June 3rd for twins in separate classrooms? and you want me to bring a breakfast item for both classes? Kill me now.
Maggie - May 30th, 2013 at 11:18 AM
YOU are the awesome-est, Jen, Seriously. :)
RuthAnn - May 30th, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Thank you for this!!! =)
Shana - May 30th, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Aww I am the same way except I make my kids read. I am so adamant about them reading and they will try to get away with it sometimes (2 out of 4 will try to get out of it) but I am like noooo you need to read. I am actually hoping their teachers stop giving them homework as of next week which is the last week. Does anyone else fall asleep when your kids read to you? Lol, every time.
Jen - May 30th, 2013 at 2:38 PM
If you fall asleep when your kids read to you... Or (worse?) when you read to them, you might want to check into sleep apnea. I'm always falling asleep when they read to me!
Celia - May 30th, 2013 at 10:06 PM
is that so you can get a night's sleep with no reading duties???
SuperJenn - May 30th, 2013 at 5:58 PM
I fall asleep when my kids read to me....I've started depending on it...,a scheduled nightly nap...to get me through the rest of the work I have to do at night.....

I have memories of my own mom falling asleep when she read to us ...and she would start making up words so she could "read" w her eyes closed....bless her heart for handing down a time honored tradition.
Ruthanne - May 30th, 2013 at 6:55 PM
I've started depending on it....a scheduled nightly nap.

That is awesome!
Gina - May 30th, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Amen. Thats all
Lisa - May 30th, 2013 at 11:22 AM
This morning on the way to school my son informed me he had to do "a project with a bunch of shapes" for math. "like shapes in a map of a house". So yeah, he has to make a blueprint of a house sometime before Tuesday, with the area of each room and I'm not sure what other goodies he must include. Dude! I hired a teacher friend of mine to sit with him while he completed all of the work he hadn't done for the last 2 months. He turned it in last week. I thought we were done! I thought it was over! WHY MORE PROJECTS???
Amanda - May 30th, 2013 at 2:18 PM
You can HIRE A TEACHER FRIEND?? Oh I am so storing that nugget of wisdom for future...
Elizabeth - May 30th, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Hiring a teacher friend-I must do this!!

Trish - May 30th, 2013 at 5:30 PM
Now see, I would have been all over this one - would have been done to perfection even for the last day of school because that's one of my passions but no, we don't get those gems, we get 20 pages of math word problems (I may be exaggerating here but it sure felt like it!) 2 days before the end of school. Word problems and the child I've been trying to get them to screen for dyslexia is a nightmare in August, let alone May! Wish I could have helped with the house plan! :)
laura - May 30th, 2013 at 5:44 PM
crap! i'm trying to become the teacher friend! maybe I'll just change my minor....lol
angie - May 31st, 2013 at 12:04 PM
Back at the beginning of project season I actually had the time to help my first grader. We worked on a kickass Dolphin model with the sea and creatures; I even put a boat with men fishing! when it came back with the grade it said "Too much parental help"! Really??? The one time I really get into something and I get in trouble! Hehehe....figures right?? I think she was just jealous of all my talent.....hehehehe.
Mary M - May 30th, 2013 at 11:22 AM
This article make me laugh out loud!! Thanks for sharing. Have you considered a Pin it button? Mary M
chelsea - May 30th, 2013 at 2:05 PM
same here to funny and feel the same!
Beth - May 30th, 2013 at 11:23 AM
Half day today. End is hours away. And hubby and I did a happy dance that we don't have to make lunches (because we enable like that) for 3.more.months!!!
Anita - May 30th, 2013 at 11:25 AM
My FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD on Tuesday of this week: "Mom, I didn't want to mention this yesterday because you were in a bad mood, but my group is doing a project on Spain and I have to bring in a traditional Spanish dessert to share with everyone. Tomorrow."
Cue next bad mood. And frantic internet search. And some sort of easy-looking cake thing that I had all the ingredients for. And when the kid asked, I was suddenly a total expert: "No, Spanish people do not put icing on their cakes." Miracle of all miracles, he remembered to bring the pan home.
Rachel - May 30th, 2013 at 1:37 PM
OH I can relate! Except our was food from England. I sent some stale bread with him.....
Elizabeth - May 30th, 2013 at 1:51 PM
My favorite comment! laughing here! stale bread... rock on English :-)
LindaB - May 30th, 2013 at 4:31 PM
As the spouse of an Englishman... bwhahahahahahaha!!!!!
Foxlondon - May 30th, 2013 at 6:15 PM
Wife of a Brit too. I read this to my husband and could barely get through it I was laughing so hard! His response? "No comment." This blog is awesome!
Karen - May 30th, 2013 at 8:07 PM
I'm British and I have tears running down my face. My daughter needed a breakfast item for tomorrow. I bought a container of bisquik that she can add water to! That's as much as I can muster.
Micki - May 30th, 2013 at 2:06 PM
Genius, simply genius!
Anita - May 30th, 2013 at 2:30 PM
Brilliant!
Jo - May 30th, 2013 at 3:39 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!
Marcella - May 30th, 2013 at 4:02 PM
This comment was as funny as the article. Stale bread...still laughing...
Jennifer - May 30th, 2013 at 4:30 PM
Oh my, I nearly fell out of my chair reading this comment!
jill - May 30th, 2013 at 9:53 PM
OMG...I laughed harder at this than the blog post.
Astrid - May 30th, 2013 at 10:52 PM
HA!!! The blog, the dialogue- stale bread from England!!! . I am dying laughing!
My week, I don't even know where to start, really. God, I'm so happy I'm not in this boat alone!
Tara - May 30th, 2013 at 2:04 PM
Sangria?
Heather - May 30th, 2013 at 4:28 PM
but then the teacher would be using the "no sharing" rule ....HER/HIM not sharing with the class.
Holly - May 30th, 2013 at 3:33 PM
My daughter hit me with a French dessert the day before it was due. I told her it was HER project (she was in High School) & I'd be there for support, but she was going to do it. I walked out of the kitchen for a few mins and came back to find her wrist deep in cookie dough. When I asked what she was doing, she looked at me & said "it said to mix by hand, Mom". We STILL laugh about that today & no, she still can't cook.
Jenn - May 30th, 2013 at 4:59 PM
I did that with brownies once.... No doubt
Belinda - May 30th, 2013 at 5:22 PM
I'm crying I'm laughing so hard!
Christie - May 30th, 2013 at 6:29 PM
I could not stop crying! BEST one yet!!!
Caroline - May 30th, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Oh my goodness I so relate. My kid came home saying she had to make a Vietnamese dessert for her class's multicultural feast. Um. Do they eat dessert in Vietnam? I have no idea. I don't even know a Vietnamese person to ask. I used to when I lived in California, but here? Not so much. Cue the internet search. For the record I sort of think the dessert we found was not really Vietnamese. But the title said "Vietnamese Coconut Milk Dessert" so that's what we went with.
Stacey - May 30th, 2013 at 5:37 PM
Same here. High school daughter had to make a last minute Spanish dessert. To top it off it had to be with a group. Yup another group project. Let's just say she made it and the others just said they did. Problem solved. After all that the teacher cancelled the party because she had a meeting then 2 weeks later gave the project out one more time. Yup we ignored it
Ashley - May 30th, 2013 at 5:21 PM
We had a food day my senior year for our last day of Spanish class. I made all of my own food because my mom sure as heck wasn't going to do it for me. Honestly by that time in school I don't think I ever bothered to ask.
Tara - May 30th, 2013 at 5:28 PM
My daughter did that to me the MORNING OF! Dude... I told her to come up with something herself. When she tore apart my kitchen in less than 10 minutes, I made my husband take her to the store on the way to school...

My favorite thing this year? School is over, the kids are home and dumping out their backpacks, creating piles of stuff that has been collected all year. Finally 2 of them locate their report cards and brandish them with pride. The third child? He says "oh crap." ??? Apparently he lost his recorder some time over the last month and has not said anything. Then he neglected to mention that the school would be holding his report card until after it had been paid for. Cue the trek BACK to school just to get his dang report card. So glad to be done this year!! :/
Susan Bianchini - May 30th, 2013 at 5:32 PM
We had to bring a food from Haiti! Oh, do I relate to all your comments and this hilarious article! I have 7 kids still at home and am a former teacher. I was feeling such horrible guilt for being so burned out with projects ,dioramas, reports, and more reports and had already gone through my list of Big Brothers, Big Sisters, and anyone else I could hire, beg, borrow or steal to do these projects with my children, since I just couldn't face another one. Invention Conventions (design and build an invention and so many dioramas (My cleaning ladies did one of them for me.) Plus the trauma of family history reports for adopted children. I've laughed with this article until tears came down my face! Someone understands. I often say I would completely change my homework policy if I was still teaching. And I feel so much less guilt, since I'm not alone!

Cara - May 30th, 2013 at 5:59 PM
I was a teacher much longer than I've been a parent. Now that I have been the parent, I will definitely do homework differently when I go back!
Carolyn - May 30th, 2013 at 7:18 PM
Anita, my son needs a Spain recipe too. Can you share the cake recipe? Thanks!
Anita - May 31st, 2013 at 8:23 AM
This is the recipe I used.

5 eggs, separated
2/3 cup white sugar
2/3 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder

Beat egg whites with half of the sugar until stiff. In separate bowl, beat yolks with the other half of the sugar. Fold together. Sift flour and powder into egg mixture and blend. Pour into lightly greased round cake pan. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 20 minutes (although apparently ours was still gooey in the middle, so maybe 25 minutes). Don't bother with icing. :-)
Beth G - May 30th, 2013 at 8:13 PM
My HS daughter refers to the month of May as "group project season." Number one lesson learned from a group project? TRUST NO ONE.
hayley - May 30th, 2013 at 8:40 PM
Hahahaha so true!!!!
Marlo - May 31st, 2013 at 5:41 AM
Ha! My 4th grader was just assigned to bring a food from a country that begins with the letter c- but there's a severe nut allergy so no Chinese- He was up until past 9 last night making Canadian molasses cookies- I made him do it and didn't help beyond finding the recipe (think you Google) and picking up molasses. They are both disgusting looking and tasting. But they are done!
Roza - May 31st, 2013 at 11:56 AM
That's great -- your son in the kitchen, that is. If the cookies look and taste disgusting, he did the job well! Molasses cookies really don't represent. Only thing that can erase the awful taste is a proper Canadian dessert of Nanaimo Bars. Alas, there are walnuts and coconuts in the recipe.
Kelly - May 31st, 2013 at 7:04 AM
You should have seen the expression on my face when my 7th grader was required to bring in a SNACK from ESTONIA the next day. Google proclaimed that Estonians apparently put alcohol in everything, so I gave him the recipe for an apple cake and pretended that it was Estonia's national snack. That teacher was lucky not to get a bag of apples instead.

I am a teacher and apologize for everything that I assigned after May 1st.
Malinda - May 31st, 2013 at 9:03 AM
Last Thursday night at 8pm my 14 year old Freshman hit me with the "Oh Mom, tomorrow is "Russian Cafe" in my Russian class...can you make some Russian food? It counts for a full test grade"...REALLY??? This is NOT a country known for their culinary skills or delicious food (I know..I have been there 3 times and lost about 10 pounds a week during each visit!). Thank God for Google and a well stocked pantry! He went to school with a Russian honey bread the next day, no idea how it tasted, nor do I care at this point! At the 5th graders school, next week is Field Day, Ice Cream Social Day, End-of-Year Picnic Day, Awards Day, Teacher Appreciation Breakfast Day...PLEASE let June 6th at 11:30 am get here...I am going to die of exhaustion! May is now officially worse than December...

Laura Pearson - May 30th, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Thank YOU for summing up my feelings EXACTLY!!!! I just "happened" to be cleaning out Gage's homework binder (since I too, have not checked homeworks since April). I found (on Memorial Day, mind you) an outline for a RESEARCH PAPER DUE May 29th. WHAT????? A 3rd grade RESEARCH PAPER due on the LAST full day of school??? REALLY???? I did what any exhausted school momma would do; I asked Gage about it. Me: Gage, what's this about a research paper due on Wednesday? Gage: blank stare.......
I put it away and didn't look at it again. Almost.Finished.3rd.Grade.
HALLELUYER!!!!!!

Oh----and I love you Jen!!!!
Jennifer - May 30th, 2013 at 11:25 AM
I hear ya, sister. By May, my entire family is ridiculously OVER school and everything that it entails.
Sheila - May 30th, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Hahahaha! I was crying SO HARD because this is SO ME this year. My youngest told me she had found a muffin in her backpack. A muffin??? Seriously? I told her to throw it away. Next thing I know she's EATING IT. Apparently it was still good... even flat. Um, yeah. I can totally relate. Thanks for helping me to laugh about it all.
Shannon - May 30th, 2013 at 1:58 PM
Best comment ever. Dying laughing!
Channa - May 30th, 2013 at 2:15 PM
I am LOL'ing about all these posts, I'm crying right now... I can totally relate to the food in the backpack thing.
Dayna - May 30th, 2013 at 2:31 PM
My son found a baked potato in his bag once. No idea
Chris - May 30th, 2013 at 8:47 PM
Bahaha,,,I am crying. A baked potato...hahaha!
Denise - May 30th, 2013 at 2:19 PM
Lol! Cause I know she did!
Heather - May 30th, 2013 at 11:01 PM
Here is one to boost your morale....I once forgot to send my Kindergartener in with a "morning snack" which I think is totally stupid ( I made it to middle school just fine with NO snack breaks)...when I asked him after school about it he said it was no problem he just ate the carrot sticks in his bag....What?? Oh yeah.....those were from snack.....LAST WEEK! I watched him for a while to see if any food poisoning would kick in then decided I was safe. Best part.....It was his BIRTHDAY!!!! Mother of the Year!!!!
Megan - May 31st, 2013 at 12:27 AM
I don't even have kids, and I'm reading these comments and chuckling...until I get to this one and full-on LOL. "Best part....it was his BIRTHDAY!!!!" haaaaaaaaaahahaahaha!!!
angie - May 31st, 2013 at 12:40 PM
My dinner cooking motivation has ended right along with the end of school. We made the quick and easy spaghetti dinner a couple of weeks ago and a week later I found the left overs still on the stove. I've been so crazy busy that I didn't even notice we were growing penicillin!! I think I need to cook a little more, ya think? Last night we ate ice cream sandwiches and chips!! Mother of the year award too!! LOL
Nina - June 1st, 2013 at 8:56 AM
Some adults do that to THEMSELVES...like, "I forgot to pack an afternoon snack this morning...[checks briefcase]...oh yeah, there's the carrot sticks I forgot to eat on Friday, I'll just have those..."
Amanda - May 30th, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Oh sister, I am right there with ya. Limping. Maybe crawling. Kid school done and gave up aorund that time as well. Working full time, going to school full time this summer, baseball games, etc etc..I cannont catch up on rest. Motivation wavering in all of the above areas. Hang in there. Its not our battle but His. Give it to Him.
Molly - May 30th, 2013 at 11:25 AM
funniest post yet. funniest thing i have ever read. right there with you ;)

Beth - May 30th, 2013 at 11:26 AM
So please, please, explain to me my friend who was teaching numbers 2 and 3 to read while numbers 6 and 7 were baking in her tummy, number 4 was potty-training himself, and number 1 (who was 7!) was taking care of number 5? She said it was easy because she could crochet the border on my Number 1-and-only's blanket while 2 and 3 read.

And when my 1-and-only comes up to me and says, "Mom, let's do something together as a family!" all I can do is grunt/moan.
mom - May 30th, 2013 at 1:06 PM
Figured out to have the olders read to the youngers one night..then switch the next night...sanity saver....oh . And I did make fresh homemade cookies today ...for our last day of school.
sheri - May 30th, 2013 at 6:00 PM
My #4 does his reading to the dog!

Laura - May 30th, 2013 at 11:26 AM
In the teenage years (frankly love it!). But have walked this road and survived. Grace to all you elementary moms -- the books get better!
Ryan - May 30th, 2013 at 11:26 AM
My wife and I do the same thing....and I'm a teacher. The funniest part about you not signing the homework folder is your signature went from very neat to "monkey with a crayon between it's toes" bad by the end. Hilarious stuff.
becka - May 30th, 2013 at 1:52 PM
Ha! This made me chuckle out loud. "monkey with a crayon between its toes"... That is awesome! And I'm sure that's just a typo and you didn't actually use the wrong form of "its." ;)
Carol - May 30th, 2013 at 3:10 PM
I"ve just signed across several lines before too... yup, one signature several days. LOL :)

Jennifer - May 30th, 2013 at 3:17 PM
Probably a Math teacher :-)
dick - May 30th, 2013 at 4:24 PM
FYI: its - possessive, belonging to; it's - contraction for it is or it has.
Eliza - May 30th, 2013 at 6:08 PM
I am now signing the top line with an arrow down through the rest of the days. I can't wait for June 11th to get here.
Bex - May 30th, 2013 at 8:47 PM
Two words "signature stamp" I bought one when my oldest started Kindergarten (she just finished 10th grade) - I have the kids stamp my signature in their own homework folders...

Tracy - May 30th, 2013 at 10:42 PM
This year, I signed every day all the way to the end of the year back in February.
michelle - May 30th, 2013 at 11:27 AM
June is and has been for years way worse for me than the crush of December.
Solidarity.
Heather - May 30th, 2013 at 11:28 AM
Oh...so much solidarity!!!!!!! And the shame has already kicked in for not having a pinterest board put together for summer boredom tips, like the ones popping up on fb!
Renee Brown - May 30th, 2013 at 11:28 AM
My boys are now 17 and 19 but I have NEVER forgotten the terror of May at the grade school level
Dania - May 30th, 2013 at 11:28 AM
For. The. Love. This is hilarious and exactly how I feel! Thanks!
Sara Maughan - May 30th, 2013 at 11:29 AM
Solidarity, indeed. As the momma of four and preschool teacher EVERYBODY is ready to be done. I even find myself trying to think if things to get out of even going these last few days!:)
We shall regroup, relax and start fresh in August ( and hope this years teachers don't pass along any info on the 'end-of-year' versions of us!
KeriP - May 30th, 2013 at 11:30 AM
YEEES. Today is our last day- hallelujah! I even managed to get my 9 year old out the door with a teacher's gift... not the totally adorable decoupaged clipboards from previous years, but I only had 2 kids then ok??
Lori - May 30th, 2013 at 11:30 AM
I am a substitute teacher at my daughter's school and I can't tell you how many teachers are cashing in their unused personal days at this point in the year. I say, "Yes! Do that! You give yourself a break and I'll pop in a movie and let them color and tell them at the end of the day there is no homework because Mrs. X didn't leave any." We all win! I win because I keep my rep as one of the "most favoritest subs ever" AND hopefully that means my daughter comes home with no homework AND the teachers win because they get a break from the end of the year insanity. The end of the year is dumb. We should just not tell the kids when school will end and instead on some random day in May suddenly announce, "Yay! Today is the last day of school!"
Laura Gail - May 30th, 2013 at 11:42 AM
That's the best idea ever! Love it!
Jenna - May 30th, 2013 at 12:11 PM
OH.MY.WORD. best idea evah!!!! I was laughing so hard I was crying from the post but the comments are great too! I have 6 kids and home educate, but they went to traditional school once upon a time. I hated April & May!
Lori - May 30th, 2013 at 1:26 PM
Right? Wouldn't that be fun?? I'd pay money to get to be the teacher on that day!
Amanda Hill - May 30th, 2013 at 11:30 AM
Oh my dear Austin sister I laughed out loud through this, which I don't usually do. Well done. It's almost summer - hang in there. That costume was a RIOT.

Amanda over at www.hillpen.com
LeAnn - May 30th, 2013 at 11:30 AM
You ARE my kindred sister! And to make this story even funnier...I'm a teacher, too..reading log wasn't signed after March and graded papers weren't looked at the entire last nine weeks! This year did me in...and that is only with 1 in school...next year, life will be even crazier next year when #2 joins him!
Christie Bowdle - May 30th, 2013 at 11:32 AM
So Awesome...It is really sad that they put teacher appreciation week at the end of the year because at that point I Just Don't Care. My son put in the work for a pizza party at the end of the year and missed it by 2 reading slips in May. The WHOLE YEAR!! and we missed it by 2!!

This was hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh and the sisterhood!!
Tami - May 30th, 2013 at 4:56 PM
YES! What IS that? And why an entire week?! Flowers, notes, gifts, send food fit the luncheon? Yeah, no, not happening. Bless your teacher hearts for schooling our children, but I'll be lucky if I get my crap together for a year-end gift.

And our district goes until June 18... Sigh.
Mrs. Gray - May 30th, 2013 at 11:33 AM
HAHA! I haven't done the parent side of school yet, but I've done the teacher side, and this is spot on. Love it! Summer's coming!
D'Lyn - May 30th, 2013 at 11:34 AM
I woke up this morning and realized my 6th grader has had a final every day this week. And tomorrow and Monday. And I haven't even remembered to ask if she was studying -- much less help her. My only relief -- yesterday's was Language Arts. We talk constantly in our house, so I know she's prepared for that. Today's was Math. I can't do math -- so I couldn't have helped her anyway. Her World Cultures teacher asked her to stay after school and help tutor the other kids, so I guess that means she must be safe with that. That just leaves Science on Monday. So we'll take her notes to a softball tourney this weekend and I'll quiz her while we look at the moon. Or something. You are not alone. I think we're all about DONE.
Merin - May 30th, 2013 at 11:35 AM
side eye at you, summer 2nd grade workbook.... don't think we are gonna crack you open for a while....
Amy - May 30th, 2013 at 11:35 AM
And don't forget while all of the school year stuff is ending (requiring some party, costume, favor, errand, photo, letter, food item, prop, signature, and award ceremony)...

all the summer stuff we signed up for has already jump started...

and I can not handle the overlap.


Dawn - May 30th, 2013 at 11:37 AM
Thank you for this. Seriously. Thank you.
Yours in solidarity from San Antonio!
Dawn
Leah - May 30th, 2013 at 11:38 AM
Oh my gosh!!! I love you!!!! I laughed, I cried, I had a small asthma attack! I am a teacher and I totally get it!!!!! Thank you for being real and knowing that as a mom and a teacher, I am right there with you!
Chris - May 30th, 2013 at 11:38 AM
I would like to remind you that Dads go through the same things!!
Dale - May 30th, 2013 at 11:26 PM
Amen! The worst is when there's a field trip and they let your child go anyways because they stopped assuming you'll ever sign one and hand it in on time.
Tammy - May 30th, 2013 at 11:38 AM
I am so glad my kids are grown. But I'm with you Jen!
Elisabeth - May 30th, 2013 at 11:38 AM
Preach on it sister! I think Spring Break is a cruel joke. It steals my marvelous mom mojo every year!
mcq - May 30th, 2013 at 11:39 AM
My youngest and her friends have what they call "linner" on the bus every afternoon, sandwiches and snacks that weren't consumed during their lunch time at school. I found a sandwich in her bag this weekend with fuzzy green stuff growing on it. School ended on the 22nd. So, yeah, I wait until AFTER school is out to check the backpack.
Oh, and did I mention football practice/conditioning started Tuesday and cheer starts in 2 weeks? Ugh!
Kat - May 30th, 2013 at 11:39 AM
I can identify! I went into my daughter's school today and apologized for not sending her with a backpack and for not doing homework...I can barely get her to school on time. Is it the end of the year yet???
Jen - May 30th, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Yea.... The same here! and you know what ...We have these read and sign papers...It's bad..... cause Brooks (my charming little 7 yr old) sits over there at his studious little desk and reads and I say ... "Brooks practice reading quietly! You are almost in second grade and second graders read to themselves!!! (feeling guilty so I continue with) "You are doing great just read quietly! :)" I just can't handle sight words anymore!!!! Don't make me!!! :) So he reads quietly and I sign.... I sign and I sign.... And he asked me the other day.... almost a 2nd grader..... "Mom... Why are they making me fill in this sheet again.... (filling in the blanks of numbers to 100) This is so like last year! It's so so wrong. It's like pre-k" I AGREE so maybe ... just maybe the teachers have totally signed off too! They are just using leftover sheets to clean out their filing cabinets!!!! :) Woot Woot! :) We can persevere! :)
Tiffany - May 30th, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Solidarity for sure. I am the ROOM COORDINATOR for my child class. I am supposed to be in charge of the end of year stuff. What did I do? Pawned off everything to two other moms. Not because I don't necessarily have time, I just CAN NOT do it. I am so done. I haven't even gotten the end of year teacher gift for ours yet, a job I couldn't pawn off on anyone else, and now I have all of the pinteresty moms doing all of these cool things, and our teacher is going to be stuck with whatever last minute thing I come up with. I suck... but I was awesome in September!
LaDonna - May 30th, 2013 at 3:03 PM
What your teacher really wants is a gift card to a nice restaurant for fun store - not a bookstore! She has more chotcies than she can ever use and there should be a ban on anything with an apple and absolutely no more Christmas decorations at all during December. I was room mother for a woman who had taught for 25 years and what fell out of her cabinet was insane. Give gifts they can use and discard - NOT ONE SINGLE CUTE THING TO KEEP FOREVER TO REMEMBER YOUR CHILD OR THIS YEAR! Chololate is good, a small candle (remember she has 25 kids a year and you can only burn so many), gift cards are nice. Take a note and put a smile on your teacher's face. Better yet, send your kid in with a big smile, a big hug, and a thank you on their sweet lips. It will mean more than the clipboard ever could.
Carrie - May 30th, 2013 at 8:08 PM
GIFT CARD - 99.9% of teachers would rather have that than something from Pinterest ;)
vivian - May 30th, 2013 at 10:22 PM
Amen! We collect money and give Visa gift cards to all the teachers in our grade. I add an extra one to our homeroom teacher to someplace I know she likes.
Alice - May 30th, 2013 at 11:40 AM
I don't even know you, but I want to be your best friend!!! This is too funny, very real, and painfully true!!! I don't know how some moms do it, and I for one, appreciate the honesty!! I think you ROCK!!
Brandi - May 30th, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Hang in there sister. We finally made it to the other side. Don't be jealous, my kids started in July. In Hawaii, when summer is no where near done and there is no AC in the classrooms. I say every year, May sucks the life out of me.
Nicole @Team Pipkin - May 30th, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Amen!
Natalie - May 30th, 2013 at 11:42 AM
I love you for writing this! Solidarity, indeed!
From a very tired teacher - May 30th, 2013 at 11:42 AM
You know, teachers are right there with you...barley crossing the finish line. We have our own children to parent as well as 28 in our class to help make sure they are reading, working on their multiplication facts, and about 1,000 other little things before they head off into summer where they don't READ ANYTHING or practice any math. We want to plan out meaningful days for the kids up until the last moments we have with them. We don't want to waste their time! Routine in the classroom is so important until the last minute. We are sorry for the reading and the projects, but honestly reading to your kid and with your child is one of the most important things you can do.
Emma - May 30th, 2013 at 3:27 PM
Thank goodness. I was beginning to think I was the only sane person looking at this blog. I'm not a teacher by profession, but I know (as my parents before me knew) that mommies and daddies are the very first and very best teachers a child will ever have. So unless you feel your children are not people with lives and rights who deserve to be educated, you better dedicate every minute you can apare and even those you can't to your babies. And if you're too lazy to give them their rights, give them over to someone who will.
Kim - May 30th, 2013 at 4:48 PM
Ease up there, Emma! We're talking about having to sign homework folders et. al. I think the point is being missed. The mommies and daddies are tired of the endless and apparent meaninglessness of some of the stuff that the teachers are sending home. This is not to say that the parent is tired of "educating" her children; she's tired of school stuff. I know that I looked at what my kids had to do in May and wondered how in the world the teacher found the energy. As a high school teacher, I'm just looking forward to finals and the summer.
Kendall - May 30th, 2013 at 5:36 PM
Reading is so meaningless huh?
Aron - May 31st, 2013 at 1:37 AM
I feel sorry for your husband and honestly for your kids in the future. You are teaching them a very dangerous "I'm the center of the universe" philosophy if you are dedicating "every minute you can spare and even those you can't."

Ease up and learn to laugh. Ever heard of hyperbole? (My mom, a career English teacher, taught me that one.)
Middle School Educator - May 30th, 2013 at 5:42 PM
Well put. As a teacher, I find this banter and the sentiments of other parents disheartening. Surely, your child's learning is important to you! If you rest on your laurels, what shall you expect from your child(ren)? I am saddened at the thought that so many parents see no clear reason to continue to teach after testing. A large portion of teachers believe in teaching "March to March." In essence, we begin per-teaching next year's skills after testing. Your comment to show movies implies that we are glorified babysitters. I take great offense. Think about this question seriously: If your child should not be challenged, you should not have to read with your child, and you just can't carve out the time to perform your parental duties to the children you willingly bore, why don't you keep them home with you? Is it because education is cumpolsory and you fear being held criminally responsible for their truancy? Or, do you opt for our babysitting services as you implied before? If that is your reasoning, please know that middle school and secondary teachers educate upwards of 150-200 students.
Erin - May 30th, 2013 at 6:27 PM
Well said. With four days left, my 8th graders are still reading a novel. I have a sinking feeling that some of the people throwing around the movie comments would the the first to attack a teacher if this was actually being done. I don't teach because of a test. I teach to instill a lifelong love of learning.
A very tired teacher - May 30th, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Thanks Middle School Educator for your input and Erin as well. I am so sadden by this post and by the the comments here. Makes me realize that Jen's post about teachers a few weeks ago really didn't mean what I thought it did.
Appalled parent/teacher - May 30th, 2013 at 9:48 PM
Well I'm glad I'm not the only person who read this and was absolutely appalled! I'm a teacher and a parent. In my class, we are engaging in educational activities up until final exams, and I would be mortified if my child/ren went to school without being prepared. It's disappointing to me so many parents think their children's education is not important enough to devote every ounce of energy they have...and more.
Laughing All The Way - June 1st, 2013 at 1:29 AM
Get over it!! Don't be appalled...just understand you're the 1%er that has a kid the is perfect! I'm happy to have my imperfect kids that will laugh at this when they are grown and AGREE with it!!

Kayla - May 30th, 2013 at 9:50 PM
I don't think her heart in this was to discourage teachers at all. In fact, I think it highlights again all the wonderful things she appreciated in her prior post... The dedication and heart that keeps you going when we are done... That you continue to pour in when we are exhausted. I think there's room for a little grace in this. That a few weeks of being tired of listening to your children sound out words will not, in fact, ruin their lives. My mom had four children and no time to listen. My passion for literature was not dampened because of it. I am so thankful for the work that teachers do. I am so thankful for the moms that are in the trenches. Can we not allow one another to be tired?? Can we not find encouragement that we are not alone?
Mindy - May 30th, 2013 at 10:02 PM
I am also a Middle School teacher,also a parent of two great kids and I loved this post. I love that Jen says what most of only wished we had enough courage to say. Yes, as a teacher you still engage your students in the learning process and continue to challenge them, even after testing, but you can also do this with in class projects and activities that require little to no homework at the end of the school year as we ALL face the madness that is May. As a parent I have not checked a homework folder in 8 weeks either, because I am busy planning a 8th grade DC Trip, things to keep my classes interesting and fun, field day for the entire middle school and a 8th grade graduation. Jen, you make me feel like a normal mom, who loves her kids, husband, and heavenly Father, but also has to laugh at life or at times it will bring you to tears.
whitney - May 30th, 2013 at 10:37 PM
Yes, we're all tired. Yes, it's hard, but it has purpose. The remark about sending 3 of your 5 children to life skills to learn a trade is one of the most ridiculous and absurd statements I have ever read and is a clear indicator of your absolute ignorance in regards to education. Shame on you.
Jenna - May 31st, 2013 at 11:39 PM
It was a joke.
Kim - May 31st, 2013 at 9:53 AM
They don't have to stop the learning, just stop the overload of parent homework and extra big assignments. You aren't helping your students by overwhelming and stressing out the parents. There are already a ton of extra end of hear things to deal with, including guilt for not being able to do it all. It's about quality, not quantity.
Stephanie - May 30th, 2013 at 11:42 AM
YES! Solidarity!
I will be laughing all day because of this. Thank you.
Tracy - May 30th, 2013 at 11:43 AM
I thought that I was the only one. The older The kids get the more I want to quit the whole painful thing in early May. Hate it, lunches, laundry, paperwork I don't even read before I sign. I just want it to be over.
Sara - May 30th, 2013 at 11:44 AM
I just laughed so hard I nearly peed. I'm with you. Solidarity Mama!
Elizabeth - May 30th, 2013 at 11:45 AM
Jen, I have figured out why I love your writing. You say much of what was, is or will be stuck in my head, but rarely squeaks out. I
Jen - May 30th, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Oh... I think school beyond memorial day.... Is a sin.... Can I get an AMEN?!
Annette - May 30th, 2013 at 3:34 PM
I can AMEN to that - in fact, our school is a private school and 2 years ago for some reason our schedule had us finishing right along side the public school system though we didn't have to and no other private school in our state (yes, I checked) was going to school for that long. So, I took things into my own hands - or rather asked if I could help tame the school schedule so we could get out earlier then next year. It was then end of May and so everyone was on board for that to happen, and I tamed the schedule. We now get out before Memorial Day!!
Colleen - May 30th, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Ahahaha! They'll TOTALLY say, "I'm bored!"

I think you're secretly living in my brain. I think exactly all of what you just wrote. I'm exhausted by end-of-school-year shenanigans. I got an email yesterday from my kindergardener's teacher saying that I forgot to pack his snack on Monday and Tuesday. Yep - that's because I have four kids and at this point if they want a snack at school, it's all on them, man.
Limped past the finish line! - May 30th, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Backpack? We don't need no stinking backpack.
Meeka - May 30th, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Someone posted a blog link the other day where a mom mentions she only sends her kids to public school the last six weeks of the school year. I am beginning to think that might give my kids the school "experience" without obligating me to a whirlwind the rest of the school year. I have the luxury of postponing that decision though, as my kids are still in toddler stage.....
Jessica Fletcher - May 30th, 2013 at 1:30 PM
As a teacher, I find that idea SUPER annoying, I must say. While the end of the year is a whirlwind, the saving grace is that the kids know the routines, they know how you work, and what you expect from them. To get a new kid is a lot of work (teaching them routines, they're coming in the middle of projects, etc.) for a teacher. I inwardly groan whenever a new kid walks in the door, at any time of the year. But I HATE getting new kids right at the end. If you want to homeschool, more power to you/her. But consistently sending them at the end of the year just for the fun part is kind of a slap in the face to the teacher, in my opinion. (Though I don't know all of her motivation).
Carol - May 30th, 2013 at 5:17 PM
I homeschool and I can't imagine why anyone would ever do that to their kids or the teacher. Ya wanna take the last six weeks off? Just do it. How unfair is that to everyone all around.
Shelia - May 30th, 2013 at 11:49 AM
Amen! Speak the truth! (Just got texted by my neighbor, who was at the 1st grade awards assembly...and I was all "What assembly?) Because, chaos, she is an active beast in our home, with ADHD overtones.

Word to the mothers!

Melissa - May 30th, 2013 at 11:52 AM
Solidarity! I shout! I'm right there with you. Homework Binder, I despise you!
Sandra-Lee - May 30th, 2013 at 11:52 AM
My son has dyslexia. I will be dead before he finishes reading the required 25 books. I don't feel compelled to sign reading logs. Even in August. By May, if everyone has clean clothes and is on time I feel successful. School is out already here.
Son & husband are on a motorcycle trip for 4 days, Blue Ridge Pkwy, NC. I figure that's educational. More than projects and Power Points!
Solidarity!
Jennifer - May 30th, 2013 at 11:55 AM
OH. MY. GAH!!! This is my favorite post EVER! (besides the ones where you graciously kick our butts for the Kingdom, of course). I am still laughing - out loud - loudly! Rock on, sister. Solidarity. Homework folders and costumes and slideshow pictures are not eternal. They just aren't. Thank you for giving me a fantastic abdominal workout this morning. :)
Shannon - May 30th, 2013 at 11:56 AM
Your take was great. And I "only" have three. But I have to say, I've read all the posts following and have laughed JUST AS HARD. The flat muffin in the backpack was the last straw--the tears started flowing after that. Thanks for the post and letting everyone comment and blow off steam!
Jen S - May 30th, 2013 at 11:57 AM
My kids wear uniforms and one child is down to one skirt and one shirt (and two white shirts with really bad stains) AND shoes with holes in them. I am not buying more uniforms in June!!!
Shannon D. - May 30th, 2013 at 3:07 PM
So funny, I was just thinking the same thing! My one daughter has holes in her shoes, my son's uniform pants are too short, my other daughter has a bleach stain on her pants (from a school art class so I'm not carrying the guilt for that one) and I. will. not. replace them until August. We're in Canada, though, so we have school until June 27. Not sure I'll make it....
Nancy - May 30th, 2013 at 11:05 PM
Color the bleach stain with a "Sharpie" and use "white out" on the stains... Just sayin
Kristen - May 30th, 2013 at 12:00 PM
That is why my oldest took a cold Puerto Rican Pork Roast to share at school for the Latin America Day Feast. When he asked why it was cold I told him it wasn't cold, it was authentic.
Alissa - May 30th, 2013 at 2:47 PM
Oy! These comments are BY FAR the best part. I am rolling.
Jessi - May 30th, 2013 at 6:41 PM
omg.. rofl. this is my new favorite comment - second to the stale bread. LOL.. love it.
Michelle - May 30th, 2013 at 12:01 PM
I was impressed you had signatures through May. I am now so thankful my signature list is new every week so I don't have to be reminded of my shame of the previous week. My shame voices continue into this evening as I will be stopping at walmart around midnight to grab the teacher a gift card. Date with hubby to Kenny Chesney verses creating one of those cool things off pinterest. I rationalize with the reality that a starbucks gift card is the best gift on earth (it quiets the other shame voices when someone else pays for a $4.50 coffee). You bless me!
Rhonda - May 30th, 2013 at 12:01 PM
this was hysterical!! and so true..... but now as I prepare to send my oldest off to college i'm actually wishing for those reading days back....:) bittersweet...

Debbie Sag - May 30th, 2013 at 12:02 PM
Literally crying from laughter. Seriously. Tears. Flowing. The absolute BEST blog. EVER. Thank you!
Tiffany Lewis - May 30th, 2013 at 12:04 PM
I had to read this out loud to my mom. Never mind that she was trying to work and I would read a little, then go back and read aloud. And if a preacher's wife can instill auditory reading in her home, who am I to judge!
Michele - May 30th, 2013 at 12:05 PM
Oh, yes, YES! Heaven's, yes. I always, ALWAYS mess up Teacher Appreciation Day because I'm "stick-a-fork-in-me-DONE" by April. I wish they'd move Teacher Appreciation to something like February. My kids teachers may then get something, letting them know I appreciate them. *le sigh*
Amy - May 30th, 2013 at 12:07 PM
YOU JUST DON'T EVEN KNOW. Except you do. And I love you for this post. Amen.
Amy - May 30th, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Laughing out loud, here. As a teacher AND mom, I'M.SO.WITH.YOU. I checked out from teaching (especially my seniors) about a month ago. I checked out with my own children not long after. Oh, and 1 of my children has a language/reading disability. Worst mom ever...right here.
Sigh.
Amy
Jennifer Smith - May 30th, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Ohh my goodness!! I just want to come to your house with some cupcakes and enjoy them with you just to celebrate "our kind". And it doesn't really end, my college freshman just finished his school year and I still think "man, I could of done better".
Chalena - May 30th, 2013 at 12:08 PM
You. Nailed. It.
j.j. - May 30th, 2013 at 12:09 PM
Laughed so hard I cried...I too have 5 kids and am just thankful for moms who keep it real. Thanks for the laugh, it totally made my day!
Teresa Messick - May 30th, 2013 at 12:11 PM
I've got to stop reading your posts at work.....I'm either crying or laughing so hard I snort! I am so with you on this end of the year thing. If it is alright with you, I just might have to share this one on my blog (with proper linking of course). I know there are a ton of mom's that would relate! Thanks for being REAL!
Rachel - May 30th, 2013 at 12:11 PM
I seriously think you read my mind. I was so happy that school got out last week that I think I actually cried. I was so done. So beyond done. I even let the kids eat hot lunch every day the last week. We had 6 field trips in two weeks. And a poetry project. And baseball every night with dance and gymnastics lessons and cub scouts in there also. Signing up to be room mom for 3 kids' classrooms, being in charge of all the parties, Cub Scouts, dance, tumbling, football, baseball, basketball, golf, multiple committees, etc. sounded like such a good idea last August. When will I learn??? Just say no!

Erin - May 30th, 2013 at 12:11 PM
This is awesome! I've got 5 kids too. Trying to balance all the awards ceremonies, open houses, teacher gifts etc... I am right there with ya! I had my oldest come to me at 8 pm one night last week to let me know he needed to bring snacks for his home room the next day. How many kids I asked? 25. argh! Hang in there!
Jessica - May 30th, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Yes yes yes!!! Our school is being remodeled over the summer and I'm pretty sure everything is packed up and there's little to no routine. What's the point??? Solidarity.
Jen Heindl - May 30th, 2013 at 12:13 PM
You are me. I am you. It's just coincidence that we have different last names. I went on homework sabbatical three weeks before Spring Break (which means somewhere around the beginning of March). I just didn't make my two kids do any homework - and really it was a sabbatical for me because I just. could. not. handle. anymore. homework. Did I mention my kids were in Kindergarten and first grade. Pathetic. Me not them. The miracle part was that neither teacher said anything about it until two weeks AFTER Spring Break! I thought "maybe homework has been optional all this time and no one told me!" Sike. I got busted by the teacher with a little note on the homework folder sheet. So I've been looking forward to the last day of school (which was yesterday) for a couple of months and when it arrived God sucker punched me by bringing up all kinds of emotions about my babies growing up and me having to let go. I spent the whole day crying. "No homework for three months? Who cares? My babies are both going to be in school all day next year and I'm never going to have this time with them again. Wahhhhhhh." Nice.
Tony - May 30th, 2013 at 12:14 PM
I have no words to express how awesome this blog post is
donna - May 30th, 2013 at 12:17 PM
Yes! Yes! and YESSSSSS! The only thing I will add is that THEY have been pumping End of the School Year excitement onto my 1st grade twins since the beginning of MAY - Field Day over and one with, end of the School year performance over and done with, clearing off the walls and sending the boys home with browns bags full of "stuff" - And we don't even GET OUT OF SCHOOL until JUNE 14TH!!!! I can't contain that sort of excitement and hysteria for SIX effin' WEEKS! And STILL PERFORM!! We are sooooo done! thank YOU for the great reality check article!! woohoo! Solidarity!
Sarah - May 30th, 2013 at 12:20 PM
Amen sister.
Shanalea - May 30th, 2013 at 12:20 PM
I'm an elementary school teacher who homeschools 2 and has 2 more coming up the ranks. We too had to come up with a George Washington costume and did it the day of. yep, trying to finish it well, but I am so ready for my school year and their school year to be done.
Barbara - May 30th, 2013 at 12:21 PM
How lame is this - LOL is all I can come up with for laughing my a** off with your post! Thank you!
Erin - May 30th, 2013 at 12:22 PM
so, I am the room mom for my sons class, and at the beginning of the year, we collected $5 from each kid to help pay for classroom parties and such....and I realized that I COMPLETELY FORGOT that I have it. Now, I did contribute all sorts of stuff to the parties, so, does this mean I get to keep that money? Because, seriously, room moms should be paid....but no, I'll probably try to buy the teacher a nice gift or something. *sniff sniff*
Angela - May 30th, 2013 at 12:24 PM
You have straight up made my day, my week, my entire freakin' month!!! We are soul sisters. Soul sisters, I tell ya! ;-)
Bethany - May 30th, 2013 at 12:25 PM
You. are. my. favorite.
Jen - May 30th, 2013 at 12:26 PM
I laughed until TEARS RAN DOWN MY FACE. I had to close my eyes while laughing so I could pull it together before continuing to read.
HIL-AR-I-OUS.
THANK YOU for writing this. Hilarious.
Lou - May 30th, 2013 at 12:26 PM
I understand to a point, and am sure there with you to a point, but this is just part of the, mom thing we have to do...
Wendy - May 30th, 2013 at 12:26 PM
You are my new best friend. I don't think I've signed the weekly folder since the Christmas break.
Kelly - May 30th, 2013 at 12:27 PM
Thank You, Jesus! It's NOT just me!!! I constantly freak out because I can hardly handle three, and we're adding two more little Haitian brothers to the mix this fall!!! AAAAHHHH!
Karla - May 30th, 2013 at 12:28 PM
Thank you! It is all so true!
K Bailey - May 30th, 2013 at 12:29 PM
You are feeling my "pain", although I love my kids we have our moments! Spot on with the reading..my 3rd grader waits until the next morning and grabs a book! She is an excellent reader she just doesn't enjoy it. I too fail to check folders and have become a professional at dealing with last minute costumes and programs. Funny how I don't remember my mom being so rushed when my siblings and I were in school, but that was a long time ago before computers, cell phones, I-pads etc. I will have one in Elementary, one in Middle School and one in High School when September rolls around...........CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!!!!!
Anna Whston-Donaldson - May 30th, 2013 at 12:33 PM
Oh Jen, so funny and true. I remember when I ran into Jack's teacher on week before school was out in 6th grade. Jack needs a tumbleweed costume for the play tomorrow. Tumbleweed? Play? I had no clue. We glue-gunned some sticks to a black hat and had the most epic time ever.
Cindy - May 30th, 2013 at 12:33 PM
I wish I could have had the internet 20 years ago when I was raising my kids- I was LAUGHING, yeah, CHUCKLING, and even SNORTING while I read this because wasn't this me only last year? Thanks for connecting with moms everywhere- you have a gift my dear!
Mary - May 31st, 2013 at 12:21 PM
My thoughts exactly! My kids have been out of high school for 10 years and I laughed so hard I cried at reading this. I could so remember these same feelings - like thinking "someone please stick a needle in my eye while my child is reading "Hop on Pop" one more time". It would be painful, but not nearly as painful as this! All the while saying "Great job sweetie - you are becoming a fantastic reader!"
Nancy - May 30th, 2013 at 12:35 PM
Bwaaahaaaahaa! I was so there. Our kids have been out of school for 8 days (not that I'm counting or anything). Is it bad that I'm ready for school to start back? So funny. Hubs is a youth pastor, so I'm in buckle-up-and-hang-on mode.
Sue - May 30th, 2013 at 12:36 PM
Great job with Ben's costume!! (and the rest of the story)
L Jamison - May 30th, 2013 at 12:37 PM
School shouldn't start until after Labor Day and it should end before Memorial Day. These last few weeks are just spent spinning their wheels.
Still Laughing - May 30th, 2013 at 12:39 PM
You had me at the costume. You. Had. Me. At. The. Costume.

Kris - May 30th, 2013 at 12:39 PM
I have not laughed this hard in a very long time!! I am seriously crying....

Solidarity sister! I Feel YOU word for WORD!
Susanne - May 30th, 2013 at 12:40 PM
This is very sad. You're kids are gone for what 6 to 9 hours a day? Spending a few hours with them at night is inconvenient? Why did you have children?
Amy - May 30th, 2013 at 12:51 PM
LOL. You're on the wrong blog, lady. (And you used the wrong form of "your" but we'll let that slide.) I think if you had read any of Jen's work, you'd know exactly how much love and care she puts into her family of FIVE children.
Nancy - May 30th, 2013 at 2:16 PM
Folks, this is a light-hearted look at life. She loves her children, as do the rest of us. It's supposed to be FUNNY. She's being sarcastic.
M t - May 30th, 2013 at 1:44 PM
I have to agree. What are you teaching your kids if you are done in April?! Kids are not yours a few months of the year. They are your responsibility all year.

Trace - May 30th, 2013 at 2:49 PM
Some of you people need to get a life and a sense of humor. Good grief. The next time I click on Jen's blog and don't see some knucklehead giving Jen a piece of their mind about some imagined slight will be the first.
Lisa - May 30th, 2013 at 2:55 PM
I am inclined to agree...
Shelly - May 31st, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Please get a sense of humor,,, the world is way to serious the way it is.
Renee - May 30th, 2013 at 12:42 PM
Jen, that was the funniest and most genuine thing I've read all week (being a writer, I read a lot of junk). I homeschool, and I'm here to tell you that I'm feeling it just like you are.
Krystal - May 30th, 2013 at 12:42 PM
Solidarity sister!!!
Thankfully I have 2 in high school and it's just whatever for them. (I've stopped telling the junior boy to keep up his GPA for college scholarships. He's the one who's going to be in debt for it anyway. Who cares.)
Now the 2nd grade HOMESCHOOLED son, well that's another story. It's one thing to check out when you are the mom, but when you are also supposed to be the teacher?! Yeah. Not so good. The only thing we've been doing for the month of May is Math and Languauge Arts. And I'm good with this because I'm still going to heaven when it's all said and done.
Nicole W - May 30th, 2013 at 12:44 PM
I am crying so hard right now. Tears of hilarity. This is just soooo true! I wonder if it's just us public school mamas or if all of us are tired and DONE this time of year. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. This: "I can only handle around two, so I%u2019m going with Sydney and Caleb because they both like to read and the other three are just going to have to enroll in Life Skills Class one day and develop a trade." Yep. My poor, poor third child. He'll probably have to buy school lunch. Everyday of his life. You rock. Can't wait to meet you at the feast one day. I hope I get to sit next to you. Hugs, mama. You got this. :)
noixdekk - May 30th, 2013 at 12:44 PM
I do not have kids. So maybe that's why I'm laughing so hard I'm peeing myself.
Teri - May 30th, 2013 at 12:45 PM
AMen! I'm completely over school at this point! Bring on summer & the " I'm bored" cuz today I don't give a darn!
Nina - May 30th, 2013 at 12:45 PM
Totally have not looked at my childs homework folder in two weeks. I "SOOO" feel your pain!
Marnie - May 30th, 2013 at 12:46 PM
My first read of your BLOG... YOU HAD ME AT AUDITORY READING! Thank you for the much needed end of the school year laughs! I had to pull a Elvis Presley "Great American" costume out of my ass last week. Smile... one day left in Indiana.
Megan - May 30th, 2013 at 12:47 PM
Just got a note in the homework folder last night that said the entire second grade class will be doing testing the last week of school. TESTING. Sweet mother of all.
Kim - May 30th, 2013 at 12:47 PM
Amen Sister.
Gabi Barrick - May 30th, 2013 at 12:48 PM
HI-LARIOUS! I am right there with you, sister! In fact, I checked out early April... oh, well. http://www.bgbarrick.blogspot.com/2013/04/mom-failure.html

Jennifer - May 30th, 2013 at 12:49 PM
Tears of laughter here. But how did you not mention the "send a different gift to your child's teacher each day during teacher appreciation week"? That one almost put me over...
Carolyn - May 31st, 2013 at 12:07 AM
Oh we had that - commiserating ... at our elementary school there was so much remembering for each gift (a bouquet of flowers 20 families each had to remember to bring one flower for - on M
onday, not Tuesday; a fruit bowl 20 parents each had to remember to bring one fruit for - wrong day not such a big deal ...a little book of 20 comments by 20 children...)

In middle school I saw but claimed to my hubby to have missed the email re the pot luck. Next year I'll send ... something.

I'm still trying to sign homework logs, but gave up on packing lunches in first grade. My kid loves the school cafeteria - they have chocolate milk and junk food I do not supply at my house. Hey it was good enough for me growing up. I cook the kid a nutritious high-protein breakfast, dinner and two huge nutritious snacks, which is a lot more than my mother cooked. And by "cook" I mean "warm up". I'm feeling guilty for including books on CD on the reading log. And this blog!
Nicole White - May 30th, 2013 at 12:49 PM
Some of us teachers are on EXACTLY the same page as the kids and parents, Jen. This will make you laugh til you cry (especially the one about the teacher stapling a Burger King application to the kids essay). Enjoy: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/33-teachers-who-got-the-last-laugh
Lorrie - May 30th, 2013 at 12:50 PM
I loved this! It is so true. So many expectations for parents that it's impossible to tackle it all. I can finally say as of yesterday, as my "baby" graduated, that my job is complete. I feel a little lost and not entirely relieved the way I always thought I would. All I can say is relish these moments, as tough as they can be and record as much as possible and sort through it later. You'll want those memories/videos/pictures to remember one day. No mom is perfect. That's the beauty of it.
Amanda - May 30th, 2013 at 12:51 PM
Nailed it.
Tonia - May 30th, 2013 at 12:52 PM
I laughed so much I have tears in my eyes... what a relief to know that I'm not the only one!

And both of my kids took Lunchables to school today!!! FREEDOM!!!!
Niki Blake - May 30th, 2013 at 12:52 PM
I am SOOO laughing hard. I mean HARD OUT LOUD and no one is here to hear me. I hate that. I will have to share later......ill share on FB too. That'll work. Then they can LAUGH with me OUT LOUD wherever they are. Probably your BEST POST EVER.
K - May 30th, 2013 at 12:53 PM
Yes to all of this. I'm so over it. I'm just counting down the days until the school year. So. Many. Papers. I barely even look at anything before it goes in the recycle bin.
Cheryl - May 30th, 2013 at 12:54 PM
I have no kids, but I was a teacher for eight years. Guess what? WE GET IT! We feel the same way at the end and often shed tears of exceedingly great joy on that very last day when the last kid leaves our classroom. For it is in that very moment that we realize, WE. ARE. FREE! We get it. This made me laugh so hard! I am so going to follow your blog for future laughs which I feel are sure to come. (probably on the day that school lets out)
Sarah - May 30th, 2013 at 12:55 PM
Just YES! I am dying with the end of the year stuff. Make it all stop. And the hubs has not the slightest idea of the random blank green t-shirt needs that we (OK, I) have 4 hours to produce. God Bless the moms who probably have extras for moms like me. As you would say JH, Bless them.
Michelle - May 30th, 2013 at 12:56 PM
LOL..Schlitterbahn is looking SO good right now for my family and do we REALLY have ONE more week? At least at Alessia's school they have two full days of children traveling around countries in the entire school...TIME KILLER for sure!!!!!! I LOVE how REAL you are and thanks for a GREAT laugh...LOVE the reading with Remy....and Ben's outfit...major SMILE on my face...you guys are FUN!!

PS...let us know if you need Remy off your hands this summer...Schlitterbahn...VBS (but this year NO water balloons...they have been X-d from the house:))
Chris - May 30th, 2013 at 12:57 PM
As a teacher, I can't tell you how much I'd pay to have a secret meeting with parents in which we all agreed that we were all done and Finding Nemo was a totally acceptable end of the year activity.
Cari - May 30th, 2013 at 12:57 PM
You are so not alone!! I just got into it with my husband just this morning about needing a sleeping bag pillow and care package with a letter for an in class camp in! So sad that all the papers get pulled out of the folder without him reading them at all. Then I read them and see the date and say I have time then I am scrambling to get it all together the day they need the stuff!! Sadly this typically starts in about November for us. My husband will try to help for a week then forget about his responsibility. So needless to say the kids get letters from mom and not dad and I feel bad that one day they will really see his lack of effort! I am counting the days till no homework!!!! I love this message!!
Catrina - May 30th, 2013 at 12:58 PM
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!! :)
Mandy Jo - May 30th, 2013 at 12:59 PM
One could totally could substitute my name (and the name of my 6 poor children AND my long-suffering hubsters) in this blog post. The chorus for the song "Freak Out" was on a loop, ad nauseam, inside my brain from April until the last day of school.

Oh. And I still have not looked through my kids' backpacks. I bet their report cards are in there...

......somewhere.
Kim Kees - May 30th, 2013 at 1:00 PM
My life has been made complete by this. Now I don't feel so bad. Thank you for the wonderful laugh and the proof to others that I am not the only one who is in shutdown mode now.
Brenna Sloan - May 30th, 2013 at 1:00 PM
I can see from a few other comments that I am not alone here: I keep telling my hubs that you and I are BFF'S and you don't even know me! Can't wait to meet you at The River annual conference (Chris is a pastor at Timberview, in Washington State). Got to hang with the Groutas and Branch families at the beginning of the year while we were in Denver, but have yet to meet you and Brandon. I'll be the one giving you a high-five outta of nowhere!
Lu - May 30th, 2013 at 1:00 PM
That's my life!!!! We actually moved across the state over spring break so my kids had to start at a new school with only 2 months left. I cared for the first few days (in hopes that I would make a great first impression) but we pretty much quit after that. I figure, what kind of school is going to fail the new kid with only weeks left to the school year? If they're behind, I'll just blame in on the previous school.
Amber - May 30th, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Everything you said PLUS their teeth stopped getting brushed.
carlie - May 30th, 2013 at 1:01 PM
I have to say that of my 3 littles, so far only 1 of them has hit preschool to experience an 'end of the year' and I still hear you. Checked out already. And the school doesn't really require much of us parents at all. WHATEVER WILL I DO WHEN SHIT GETS REAL?
Heidi - May 30th, 2013 at 1:04 PM
Love!
Dana - May 30th, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Dying. Laughing till tears stream down my face...to my 13 yr old last night " You have a final tomorrow? Sucks for you dude." Dying....
jeannie - May 30th, 2013 at 1:05 PM
BEST laugh in days... "Just whatever, man." SO GOOD. "We used to care and that counts for something." oh wow. I only have three and can't keep it straight. bravo Jen... for making us laugh and for perspective. this was much needed. I think you're saving us here with a little hilarity...
bless you.
:-)
Brenda Green - May 30th, 2013 at 1:06 PM
Well, that would be just dandy to stop everything after testing, but as a teacher I can tell you this...we are not allowed to! Talk to the administrators and tell them to stop looking over our shoulders and telling us school is not over and to continue with the lessons as if we were still testing. WE ARE TIRED, TOO! With 24 plus kids, we count the days, hours, and minutes.
Jenn - May 30th, 2013 at 1:07 PM
I duck tapes my daughters Brownie patches to her vest for the bridging ceremony. They were literally falling off as she walked toward the bridge to get her Junior vest. I seriously carded more about the fact we failed to put margaritas on the potluck sign-up sheet. I got your back.
Jill - May 30th, 2013 at 1:07 PM
Word.
P. - May 30th, 2013 at 1:07 PM
Awesome! Thank you for this!
donna - May 30th, 2013 at 1:08 PM
As a mother AND a teacher....I feel your pain times 75....that would be how many students I have. By the time I get home to my own kids I could care less if they read!
kendal - May 30th, 2013 at 1:12 PM
oh dear. i'm the teacher....not wanting to show movies because i thought the moms would be mad? but i'm middle school and definitely don't send stuff home to sign or do. like ever. and my 14-year-old has a GAPING hole in his cleats. because just 8 more games. and even though i'm glad not to have to pack lunches i so pay for it in crumbs at the table. and by the time we get to supper i can't believe these people need to eat. again. enjoy the summer!
Michelle - May 30th, 2013 at 1:13 PM
This is the first time I have visited your blog and am I ever glad I did!! This is so me right now coupled with the fact that we are making a cross country move and pulling our son out of school 2 weeks early. It is crazy town around here, too. So glad to know I'm not alone. LOL
Jen - May 30th, 2013 at 1:17 PM
Hahaha! My mom used to make us forge her signature to those things!
Rachel - May 30th, 2013 at 1:18 PM
Headed to a 4th grade recorder concert today. Oh how I feel the end of the year craziness! Love your blog!!
Eizabeth - May 30th, 2013 at 1:18 PM
THANK YOU!!! For saying what the rest of us are thinking. Love this so much.
becky - May 30th, 2013 at 1:19 PM
so true!! but now after 4 of the 6 kids are out of the house, It felt like the craziness would never end. it did... way too fast! I enjoy the reading so much more now with the 2 I have left.
Heather T. - May 30th, 2013 at 1:19 PM
*giggles* First time I've read your blog--and wow can I empathize with this post! Adorable costume, btw... *still giggling*
Shel - May 30th, 2013 at 1:20 PM
One word: Homeschool. I have three in highschool and two more littles, one will be in kindergarten this year. Online public school is our route. That trip to the grocery store where you count out 15 apples than realize you have $25 only and you really need to buy milk, cereal and bread so you put 10 apples back. That's math. The walk you take with the littles and they notice the spray painted "A" with an "O" behind it? You don't explain that that is in fact the universal sign for anarchy, No!, that's a prime alphabet lesson.
Rynee - May 30th, 2013 at 1:20 PM
I have never met you or seen your blog but you are AWESOME!!!
Staci Burd - May 30th, 2013 at 1:21 PM
You are my hero.
Kristen - May 30th, 2013 at 1:21 PM
I am DYING laughing!
Dea - May 30th, 2013 at 1:22 PM
17 year old. Boy. Football player. Fisherman. Came home with 700 page book as a summer assignment. One more year. One more year.
KRussell - May 30th, 2013 at 1:22 PM
I cant wait for the end of the year. Here in NY the last day of school is June 24th. WTF?? What happened to summer? My Due date is June 24th as well. Lets just say I checked out a few weeks ago, hubby is barely hanging on. We feel like rock stars if we remember to check her bag for homework BEFORE we put her to bed at night. BTW I want to talk to the person who decided that kindergartners need to do 5 page reports. What happened to just making sure they completed the year without eating paste?
beth - May 30th, 2013 at 1:23 PM
oh, for the LOVE!!! yes!!! give me a break. school is almost over and we are all DONE!! and i am CRYING over here at your words. (also, as a former classroom teacher, again, i must apologize for making parents fill out reading logs daily, weekly, or monthly. i HATE reading logs.)
Rebecca - May 30th, 2013 at 1:24 PM
This is SOOOOOO right on!!! Made me cry from laughter! What a gem - definitely sharing with all my momma friends crawling to the finish line alongside me!! And loved the ending!!! Your posts are such a bright spot in my day! :) :) :)
Name - May 30th, 2013 at 1:25 PM
thanks for the laugh. This explains everything I've been feeling. After six kids in public school, no wonder I'm exhausted. one more year and I"M DONE!!! Then it will be something else.
Laura - May 30th, 2013 at 1:29 PM
You have no idea how glad I was to come across this! I thought I was all alone in wondering why the MANDATORY science fair was the last week of school! The end of the year is all about survival.
Liz - May 30th, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Hilarious!!

Marcia - May 30th, 2013 at 1:30 PM
This is amazing! Laughing out loud because I relate, but probably more so because I am past that stage of life. There is hope for all of you who are raising your own precious children!
Kerry - May 30th, 2013 at 1:30 PM
LOL !!! From a teacher / mom
Tiff - May 30th, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Ditto
Kathy Howard - May 30th, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Jen, thank you! I laughed out loud multiple times while reading your post. Could it be because my kids are grown and while I can definitely relate I am beyond the glassy-eyed, end of school state? Perhaps!
Jamie Wright - May 30th, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Girlfriend, my post on FB last week-Day 1 of summer break with all 4 kids home. I sounded like this and then that day hit. "First day of summer break with all 4 kiddos home. I have cried twice and my girlfriend reminded me that we only have 86 more days until school starts. Jesus come quick! Their redemption... They all got straight A's!" Keep this in mind!!! Have almost sent a couple to be with Jesus so far. :)

Holly - May 30th, 2013 at 1:32 PM
You seriously just gave me an asthma attack..I'm laughing so hard!! (And commenting even before I'm done reading the post!)
momof5 - May 30th, 2013 at 1:32 PM
This is the best thing I have read in a long, long time. I felt like the worst mother ever for not checking backpacks or signing logs or making hand sewn living history museum costumes.
Julie - May 30th, 2013 at 1:33 PM
Ok... I'm not even gay but I think I just fell in love with you! That made me laugh out loud and feel soooooo normal! Thank you for that!
Charla - May 30th, 2013 at 1:34 PM
I WOULD DIE LAUGHING IF I HADN'T ALREADY DIED FROM ALL THE LAST MINUTE PARTIES!!!! Our school is 30 miles from my home, just like everything else.
My kids told their teacher that I said they didn't have to read anymore at night. (seriously by bedtime with 4 kids, I'm so tired I actually have to concentrate on breathing!) Why do they have to read a book every night? They read EVERYTHING. EV-ERY-THING! At some points during the day my frazzled nerves force me to say, "Just shut your eyes. If you can't read it in your head and keep it from coming out of your mouth, then just shut your eyes" I use to be so nice. Such a nice, helpful lady that brought pies and cupcakes to everything. She died. BTW Ben Frank looked awesome! You did way better than I would have.
Kelly B - May 30th, 2013 at 10:15 PM
I love your comment.i just told someone I was a much more creative, generous parent BEFORE I HAD KIDS!
Xandra - May 30th, 2013 at 1:36 PM
You are my hero. Hero, I say.
Jeni - May 30th, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Jen...we could be best friends! Love this!
Amy - May 30th, 2013 at 1:38 PM
This is absolutely one of the best things I have ever read! I only had time to read it because we finished last week, and I'm bored has come more times than I can count! I got your back!
Maria - May 30th, 2013 at 1:40 PM
It's is call the month of "Mayhem" around here. Wait until you have one graduating!
Mary (Owlhaven) - May 30th, 2013 at 1:41 PM
Take up knitting. It gives my hands something to do and keeps me from screaming when I'm teaching a kid to read and hearing cuh-a-tuh a million times before they actually figure out the word is CAT. (OK, I've actually yelled CAT! a time or two. But then I apologized.)

Frankly, a lot of the stuff you mention in this post is WHY we homeschool. Then I can slough off with fewer people knowing about it. :)

Mary, who has (thankfully) managed to graduate four, has four teens at home, and is still teaching two younger ones to read
Terri - May 30th, 2013 at 1:42 PM
The trick is to be a slacker ALL YEAR! If you are not good in October, by the time May rolls around, you don't feel guilty anymore. Bare minimum. Actually learned this from my fifth grader.

I'm probably not who anyone should have as a role model in this respect.
Kim Eckert - May 30th, 2013 at 1:45 PM
I laughed so hard reading this I scared my nursing 5 month old! Why do we have to sign homework folders anyway?!?
annab3ar - May 30th, 2013 at 1:47 PM
this morning i was informed that a chocolate bar was needed for a project...tears filled my 10 year old's eyes (YES! TEN!) as i informed her that we had no chocolate bars and would not be able to get one before she had to leave in 3 minutes (i DID, however, offer a baggie of cocoa powder and told her to tell everyone we make our own chocolate bars, which we don't). i made it up to the next to last week of preschool for my two youngest before i forgot their lunches and bought lunchables...i gotta say: i love you, man. you MUST live inside my head.
carkye - May 30th, 2013 at 1:47 PM
A friend shared this with me, and I so needed to see it. My son got his report card over a week ago. His FINAL report card. I get testing scores tomorrow at a parent/teacher conference and they are still sending HOMEWORK and making me sign a reading log. LUNACY I SAY...lunacy...i will now go whimper in private.
Gail - May 30th, 2013 at 1:48 PM
I homeschool...and this was still hilarious! Actually, last year's burnout was one of the main reasons I started to homeschool. Still laughing.
Brian - May 30th, 2013 at 1:50 PM
That is a lovely thought you had in your brain just there. I am the husband who has definitely offered the so-helpful advice to "blow it off" at some point, to which my wife replied, "Hand me that glue stick and the sheet marked 'observation log.' Is it supposed to go over or under the sheet marked 'observation?' And shut up." Oh sweet summer. Comest quickly, fair sleep. And great great post.
Brandon S - May 30th, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Thank the Gods above that I've only been blessed with dogs. A dog that even at (crap... what is 7x7?) 49 years old still thinks the "hide under the bed peek a boo" trick is f**n hilarious. I'm just wondering how much longer I can keep my mother off my back....
Elizabeth - May 30th, 2013 at 1:51 PM
Thank you so much for this!! :-)
ashley - May 30th, 2013 at 1:52 PM
i am not a mother but i found this hilarious! :0
Nicole - May 30th, 2013 at 1:52 PM
BEST. EVER! I laughed so hard!!
shanna - May 30th, 2013 at 1:53 PM
You TOTALLY rock! What you lack in wrapping up a school year you make up for in humor that the rest of us feed upon. Enjoy your summer!!!
Elizabeth - May 30th, 2013 at 1:53 PM
One small thing (and don't think I don't get the exhaustion the end of the year brings, really I do), but is it maybe a little disrespectful of your daughter to be making facing and videoing them while she's reading to you and then sharing them with the world? How would she feel if she saw it?

Hang in there. You must be almost done by now. Right?
Sssnoo - May 30th, 2013 at 1:53 PM
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=p5jWE6Cs_tA&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dp5jWE6Cs_tA

If you haven't heard this song you need to listen to it and if doesn't make you laugh then you are too far gone.
mossrenie - May 30th, 2013 at 1:54 PM
Jen, seriously, can we just have a big old fashion girls slumber party? You could run the entire retreat for all of us. You are hilarious, beyond hilarious, and honest, and real, and well, just friggin' awesome!
Ashley - May 30th, 2013 at 1:55 PM
That's me year round and I homeschooled a 9th grader this year because we just had to. And I have no clue what she's doing, haven't logged attendance in months....can't remember the website we do that on and I have to turn in a "transcript" and samples of her work for her actual legit school next year. Panic mode!!! I've already apologized to them profusely for what I have done, in advance.
Makeda - May 30th, 2013 at 1:56 PM
This might have been the best thing I've read in a long time. I'm not a Mom but I can still totally, 100% relate. So stinking funny but full of so much truth. Love it!
LKBH - May 30th, 2013 at 1:59 PM
I LOVE this. Spot on!!!
Jeni - May 30th, 2013 at 2:03 PM
OH man I'm DYING!! This is so us right now.
Angela Parlin - May 30th, 2013 at 2:03 PM
Oh, you don't even want to know what my started-out-so-awesome homeschool looks like at this point in the year! But seriously, this post made me laugh so hard, I'm crying. I LOVE the costume, and have to admit, I've done things like this for our little weekly homeschool co-op. Like you said, I do other things well...I'm not the costume mom and feel so irritated that there are always things like this we are supposed to pull together. My poor kids!

Is there a way to get your blog posts in my email? Would love to make sure I don't miss one!
staci - May 30th, 2013 at 2:04 PM
So freaking funny and true. I feel like I'm doing good if they get there on time at this point. Today is the last day for us and I so truly wanted to turn the alarm off and tell them all we were sleeping in, but then the realization that this will be my last day at home by myself for the next 90 something days hit me and I hopped out of be slapped on a bra a took them all to school. I am a believer that trade school will be just fine for any or all of them!!! Thanks for the giggle.

Jen - May 30th, 2013 at 2:05 PM
OH. MY. WORD. I needed that "LOL" moment! It's good for the soul to feel a kindred spirit...I am feeling it:)
Ann - May 30th, 2013 at 2:06 PM
But I am literally the worse first day of school mom ever. I kept my son home thinking that only the kindergarden class was attending that day. At 12 I sent him over to play with his friend next door. This mom comes knocking on the door a few minutes later, "Today was the first day of school." Well crap. Nothing like showing up 3 hours late on the first day.
K - May 30th, 2013 at 2:49 PM
I love this!
Cindy - May 30th, 2013 at 2:07 PM
Brilliant! Why did I not think to write this! So TRUE!
Emily - May 30th, 2013 at 2:10 PM
As a third grade teacher and mom - AMEN. Summer can't get here quickly enough.
Lucy - May 30th, 2013 at 2:10 PM
This is so me right now and I only have one in regular school and one in preschool. I haven't checked my son's folders in weeks luckily it doesn't have to be signed. We still have one week left and I feel like that school is trying to kill me. He is there every day and that should be enough right? Everyone on Facebook is posting about summer stuff and we're so glad school is over and I want to yell "Shut Up!"
Brittany Koehn - May 30th, 2013 at 2:11 PM
I love this!! Thank you for sharing!! I thought maybe I was the only one who just couldn't do it anymore----and I'm a teacher!
Ann - May 30th, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Describes be to a "T" :) Glad I'm not alone.
Sean - May 30th, 2013 at 2:13 PM
Ha! I'm a dad, and I'm totally on board with this. My wife is currently reading this and cracking up with those "we laugh to keep from crying" laughs. This is the honest groan of every parent of young school-age children in May. Thanks for giving it voice, Jen.
CarolAnne - May 30th, 2013 at 2:13 PM
Here in Jersey we don't end until JUNE 24th. I am not sure how we'll make it.
Vicki - May 30th, 2013 at 2:14 PM
Laughing so hard and remembering this morning when I had a vague memory that my 3rd grade son was having a walk-a-thon and he was supposed to beg people for money. Found the paper in the giant pile of forgotten about school stuff and realized the money was due today. Stuck $10 in his folder and told him to be responsible with it because I have no idea where the envelopes are. 4 more days....4 more days....... and I still have to remember 2 bag lunches in the next few days.

Bless you so much!!!
Christy - May 30th, 2013 at 2:15 PM
SO FUNNY. And so true.
Donna - May 30th, 2013 at 2:19 PM
From an old mom....I remember these days and feeling like you feel. Let me tell you, it is over in the blink of an eye!! Cherish every moment. The blog is good, so you'll always have fresh memories. All these years can be summed up by thinking of the Mama bird pushing the baby birds out of the nest. It just takes years, instead of days to do it!
Mandy - May 30th, 2013 at 2:19 PM
Hands down the best article ever written!!! As a mom of four I was dying on the floor laughing until I cried!!! I read it outloud to my husband and we were both rolling and he said "So we are not alone!!!" Genius!!! Made my day!!!
Cathy - May 30th, 2013 at 2:21 PM
Here in Nebraska we've been out since May 17th! :) Don't hate me!

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