Dr. Thema Bryant: How to Find, Keep, and Nurture the People Who Truly See You (By Starting with Yourself)

Some conversations are so good, they deserve a second life.

As we’ve been building out our Chosen Family series — exploring what it actually takes to find, keep, and nurture the people who truly see you — we kept coming back to this tender conversation because it was resonant then but it hits differently now.

Dr. Thema Bryant is a psychologist, author, professor, ordained minister, and former president of the American Psychological Association. Her books Matters of the Heart and Homecoming have resonated deeply with women navigating the beautiful, complicated work of belonging — and her clarity on what it means to truly come home to yourself is exactly the foundation this series needed.

In this conversation, Jen and Amy dig into:

  • Why midlife can feel isolating even when you’re surrounded by people — and what’s really going on beneath that loneliness
  • How to grieve friendships that have run their season while making genuine room for new ones
  • The difference between performing friendship and actually being emotionally available for it
  • Why our wellness matters more than our loyalty — and what it looks like to stop sacrificing yourself in the name of showing up for everyone else
  • Practical tools like writing vows to yourself and how to build community from scratch when one was never ready-made for you

Because here’s what we keep coming back to: you cannot truly choose people if you haven’t first chosen yourself. This conversation is the starting place.

Midlife Renaissance: Building Your Belonging Circle with Dr. Thema Bryant

Today, we’re revisiting a popular topic on this show: Friendships. More specifically, the revival of our friendships and our capacity for friendships in midlife. How many of us have sacrificed a relationship or a piece of ourselves in order to fulfill the implied demands of our role as a wife or mother or woman with a career? 

Dr. Thema Bryant is a renowned psychologist, author, professor, sacred artist, and minister, who empowers women to connect with themselves and to others by exploring fun and comfortable topics like our control issues and emotional unavailability with practical activation activities and teaching how to shift our mindset and patterns.

Today, we’re delving into the impacts of loneliness, the complexities of navigating new and evolving friendships in midlife, and the importance of self-love and “coming home” to ourselves before we can build a community that can support us in the way we need it to.

Aha moments from this episode include:

  • Common reasons why midlife can feel isolating to some women
  • The role major life changes (e.g., career shifts, divorce, empty nesting) play in creating a sense of disconnection
  • Signs that a friendship or community is not serving us well, including navigating shifts in those friendships and letting go of what no longer serves us and welcoming new connections
  • Practical activation exercises, such as writing vows to yourself, that you can practice to strengthen your relationships with yourself and others

Plus, Jen and Amy debut a new segment called “Zero Damns to Give” where they suss out what stuff really matters in this stage of their lives and what can be cast off, allowing them to step into full authenticity—without guilt, shame, or over-explanation.

Midlife Renaissance: Building Your Belonging Circle with Dr. Thema Bryant

Today, we’re revisiting a popular topic on this show: Friendships. More specifically, the revival of our friendships and our capacity for friendships in midlife. How many of us have sacrificed a relationship or a piece of ourselves in order to fulfill the implied demands of our role as a wife or mother or woman with a career? 

Dr. Thema Bryant is a renowned psychologist, author, professor, sacred artist, and minister, who empowers women to connect with themselves and to others by exploring fun and comfortable topics like our control issues and emotional unavailability with practical activation activities and teaching how to shift our mindset and patterns.

Today, we’re delving into the impacts of loneliness, the complexities of navigating new and evolving friendships in midlife, and the importance of self-love and “coming home” to ourselves before we can build a community that can support us in the way we need it to.

Aha moments from this episode include:

  • Common reasons why midlife can feel isolating to some women
  • The role major life changes (e.g., career shifts, divorce, empty nesting) play in creating a sense of disconnection
  • Signs that a friendship or community is not serving us well, including navigating shifts in those friendships and letting go of what no longer serves us and welcoming new connections
  • Practical activation exercises, such as writing vows to yourself, that you can practice to strengthen your relationships with yourself and others

Plus, Jen and Amy debut a new segment called “Zero Damns to Give” where they suss out what stuff really matters in this stage of their lives and what can be cast off, allowing them to step into full authenticity—without guilt, shame, or over-explanation.