Jennie Garth is best known to Gen-Xers for her iconic role playing Kelly Taylor on the megahit television series Beverly Hills 90210. Fans of the show may remember Kelly’s pivotal “I Choose Me” episode (airing thirty years ago this past May) when she stood between dreamboats Brandon and Dylan and declared that she was choosing herself.
Jennie shaped an entire era of pop culture, and now, at fifty-two, she is embracing an incredible new chapter of life—one filled with bold conversations about aging, empowerment, self-love, and the beautiful messiness of midlife. Through her thought-provoking “I Choose Me” podcast and a forthcoming memoir of the same name, Jennie is using her platform to champion other women over fifty by challenging outdated narratives around aging and sparking empowering conversations.
Today, Jennie, Jen and Amy talk about what choosing yourself looks like on a normal day, and what it means to be graduate beyond our growing family years into a more independent space where a new age of self-discovery is possible because, as Jennie reminds us, choosing “you” isn’t selfish—it’s the most powerful act of self-respect.
With over two decades of experience in the field, Vanessa Marin is on a mission to help people break down shame, talk openly about sex, and create truly intimate relationships. As a a licensed psychotherapist, sex educator, and bestselling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, which she co-wrote with her husband, Xander, Vanessa brings a candid, humorous, and deeply compassionate voice to a topic that too often stays in the dark
Whether your relationship is in a rut, your spark feels a little… dim, or you just want to feel more connected—to your partner and yourself—this one’s for you. Vanessa is going to help us say yes to communication, to connection, and maybe most of all, to pleasure.
Some topics we dig into:
- Why we have knee-jerk reactions to sex rooted in shame
- Why Vanessa says you should start having sex like a man
- The myth about the female orgasm
- The best things for your sex life that have nothing to do with taking off your clothes
- The difference between spontaneous desire versus responsive desire
KC Davis is a licensed professional counselor, an author, a speaker, and, frankly, one of the most compassionate, funny, down-to-earth voices out there. During the pandemic, she created an amazing platform called Struggle Care where she has been teaching us how to care for ourselves (and our homes) without stigma or shame. Like—if the laundry’s piled up or the dishes aren’t done, it doesn’t mean you’re lazy or broken. It just means you’re living life. It’s a gracious approach to self-care that we wildly embrace.
KC’s first book, How to Keep House While Drowning, was a total game-changer for so many women who’ve felt overwhelmed by the everyday—and now she’s back with a brand new book called Who Deserves Your Love, helping us figure out which relationships we want to invest in, which ones need boundaries, and maybe even which ones we need to step away from.
This conversation goes to some deep places. We talk about:
- What mistreatment looks like in relationships, as opposed to abuse
- The stories that we tell ourselves about another person’s behavior when we get caught up in the vulnerability cycle
- What it means to be morally neutral
- How to use a relationship decision tree to evaluate and make decisions about a relationship
- And the sticky secret to enforcing boundaries
With accessibility, humorous relatability, and vulnerability, KC is here to help us navigate the messy, complicated work of loving people and loving ourselves.
It’s time again for one of our favorite features on the show – Listener Voicemail Day, where we get to hear straight from you—your voices, your stories, your wisdom. Today, we’re playing a few of our favorite messages and responding to what you, our listeners, have shared with us after our most recent episodes. Whether it’s midlife realizations, hard-won wisdom, or letting go of stuff that just isn’t serving you anymore—this is about all of us learning from each other. This episode is a reminder that we’re not in this alone—your voice matters, your story counts, and we all grow stronger when we listen to one another.
If you have a thought, story or question you’d like to share with us on the show, leave us a message over at jenhatmaker.com/podcast and we might play your message in an upcoming episode. Huge thanks to Alice, Ann, Sarah, Ashley, #1 Becky and “Badass Becky” for their candor and vulnerability in contributing to this week’s episode.
Also, Sydney Hatmaker said some hurtful things about us broadcasting our bare old lady feet on YouTube and we had to take a minute to process our feelings… and discuss a new dress code policy.
Today we’re revisiting the profound biological, psychological and social shifts experienced when becoming a mother – a process known as “matrescence.” Jen sits down with science journalist Lucy Jones, who experienced a seismic identity shift that arose after the birth of her first child.
Lucy and Jen unpack groundbreaking neuroscience research and they expose the deep-rooted myths and unrealistic expectations surrounding modern motherhood. From the minimizing of postpartum struggles to the pressure of “natural birthing” ideals, Lucy reveals how these systemic fictions can breed shame, isolation and maternal mental health crises.
Jen and Lucy discuss:
- The concept of “matrescence” – the biological, psychological and social transition to becoming a mother that renders profound identity changes
- How modern cultural myths and idealized notions of motherhood as blissful and “natural” can be deeply alienating and contribute to maternal mental health issues
- The systemic lack of scientific research and societal rituals to prepare and support women through the seismic transformation of matrescence
- The need to construct new narratives, share vulnerable experiences, and build community care around the modern realities of the matrescence
In the span of a single year, Abby Wambach lost her beloved brother, her wife Glennon Doyle was diagnosed with anorexia, and her sister-in-law Amanda Doyle was diagnosed with breast cancer. For the first time, the trio who host the wildly popular We Can Do Hard Things podcast, all found themselves simultaneously lost, looking for answers. So they turned toward the only thing that’s ever helped them find their way: deep, honest conversations with other brave, kind, wise people. What resulted from those conversations was a myriad of guideposts, words of wisdom from some of the most brilliant wayfinders in the zeitgeist today.
In this episode, Jen and Amy talk with Abby and Amanda about some of the most meaningful bits of guidance that they have received from inspirational voices like Elizabeth Gilbert, Jane Fonda, Michelle Obama, Ocean Vuong, Esther Perel, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, and others that they have gathered into a new book called, We Can Do Hard Things: Answers to Life’s 20 Questions.
Some of the conversations they delve into include:
- Why are we like this?
- How do we figure out what we really want?
- How do we let go, or forgive, or get unstuck?
- Why do we wake up every day having forgotten everything we know?
- Why self-loyalty is so damn hard for women?
She’s become a leading voice in the culinary world and today stars as the lead host of the same cooking competition show that launched her career. Kristen Kish was eliminated from Bravo’s season 10 of Top Chef, only to make a triumphant return through a Last Chance Kitchen opportunity that cleared the way for her to beat out the remaining competition and win the season.
Since that 2013 victory, Kristen has been everywhere – launching a new restaurant, Arlo Grey, in Jen’s hometown of Austin (and another restaurant opening soon in New York), hosting some of our favorite food shows including Kitchens at the End of the World, Iron Chef, and now Top Chef (the student has become the teacher). She’s also flexing a new muscle as an author. In her new book, Accidentally on Purpose, Kristen shares her story of being born in South Korea and adopted into a loving white, midwestern American family and what it was like for her to navigate her identity in all of its racial, sexual and professional contexts. Ultimately, what defines Kristen’s story is how she learned to find her voice and use it and, while accidents may be unexpected, they don’t have to be at odds with our purpose.
Our conversation today covers:
- Pivoting, embracing change, and building a life that is truthful and authentic
- How the road to success was so much more winding and complicated than it may have appeared from the outside
- Knowing internally that it’s time to make a change or take a new step forward
- How it’s the behind-the-scenes, off camera moments that nobody sees where the decisions and discoveries are made, where the unexpected meets the intentional, and where things get really interesting.
- Battling imposter syndrome and burnout and quieting the voice of doubt
- How life’s best opportunities often come from embracing the unexpected
If we’re lucky, most of us will live an abundant life that’s filled with a number of significant transitions. How we embrace those inevitable life changes and honor that growth can make a big difference in how we are prepared to meet future challenges.
Today, Jen and Amy have the pleasure of sitting down with Melinda French Gates to discuss how, at 60, she is stepping into this next beautiful season of life. By giving a rare glimpse into her interior life, and sharing previously untold stories included in her new memoir, The Next Day: Transitions, Change and Moving Forward, Melinda shares the heart-connecting lessons that we all can apply to the universal moments in our lives – including becoming a parent, the loss of a close friend, the loss of a marriage, knowing the right time to make a career move.
In this episode, we discuss:
- The art of letting go and beginning again and making the most of the time between an ending and a new beginning
- How growing up in a middle-class Catholic family influenced Melinda’s values and worldview
- What it looks like to loosen the bonds of perfectionism and embrace uncertainty in times of change
- The new projects, ideas and hopes Melinda has for the future
Maddie Corman is a seasoned American actress and playwright that you’ve seen in classic films including Some Kind of Wonderful, Maid in Manhattan, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and our favorite television shows like Law and Order, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
Most recently, she has put her creative hand to writing and performing in a very raw and vulnerable autobiographical one-woman play called Accidentally Brave, that delves into Maddie’s personal journey following the arrest of her husband on child pornography charges in 2015. Today, Maddie shares her story of navigating the aftermath, focusing on themes of resilience, healing, and redefining normalcy when life takes an unforeseen turn.
In this tender and transparent conversation, we discuss:
- How Maddie’s life turned upside down after a public personal crisis—and how she found her way back
- What led to her decision to write a raw, hilarious, deeply moving one-woman show called Accidentally Brave (now a movie on MAX!)
- What she imagined midlife would look like when she was younger versus what it looks like from where she sits today
- What it’s like to walk (or sometimes crawl) through shame and loss—and come out with more freedom, more truth, more YOU
- Also, how motherhood shifts our perspective in crisis
- What practices or people help us stay grounded in the hard moments – Maddie shares some really great resources!
- Why midlife is actually the best time to tell your story and start again
