We’re in a brand new series; For the Love of Friends and Community. Friendship and community often serve as the cornerstone for many women’s lives, providing a vital support system that nurtures connection, empathy, and mutual growth. In a recent survey from Psych Central, nearly half of most women report having fewer than 3 close friends, one third report having between 4-9 close friends, and 12% say they have no close friends at all. We know that friendship contributes to more satisfaction in life and is good for our overall health. So what’s the key to finding and keeping friends? How many friends do we need to get those good friend vibes? Our guest this week, author and podcaster Laura Tremaine, has written extensively about friendship, drawing from her own experiences and the experiences of other women she has talked to. Laura wants us to identify, create and nurture these deep connections that we long for. She also teaches us that friendship takes work, and vulnerably shares her friendship fails (yes, even a friendship expert has a few friend misses now and again).
Jen and Laura discuss:
The key qualities that make a friendship meaningful and enduring, and how those things are defined by what you value
A rundown of the things we all may think are important about friendship and looking at the things that aren’t as important as we’ve been made to believe they are
How to navigate friendship breakups and friendships ending, allowing grief over that loss, and leaving room for that vacant “chair” to be filled by someone new
Finding the “fellow obsessive” friend – the one you can geek out about with things that you both love
Creating meaningful friendships is not just about having a social circle. It’s about experiencing true companionship and vulnerability and support. And it’s these soul connections that can bring so much joy and fulfillment to our lives.
It’s so hard but so true: growth often comes from the most painful parts of life. An untreatable diagnosis, a painful divorce, the loss of savings that took a lifetime to build—when the script we write for ourselves is ripped apart by the unthinkable, we’re forced to rethink everything, like who we are, what we value, and where we spend our time. Moving the boulders of our identity requires us to push ourselves in ways we never asked for. And as frustrating as it can be, the pushing brings us closer to the person we’re meant to be—that’s what our guest, poet Maggie Smith, reminds us. Jen reveals how she unexpectedly found and fell in love with Maggie’s work (spoiler alert: it’s Shauna Niequist’s fault!). Maggie and Jen talk about what it was like for each of them to weather the loss that comes from divorce, and the fresh hope weaving its way through their rebuilding. Maggie reveals that more than ever, she feels more confident than ever to take on whatever life throws at her, even when her script is flipped.
Taking a leap in the face of uncertainty is scary. It’s hard to envision a life in which you are living your dream, especially if your current reality is not living up to your expectations. But, what if it all works out? What if everything you are dreaming of comes to fruition and you get the life you want? Wouldn’t that be worth the leap? That’s just another facet of flipping the script of our lives and we are so inspired by women across the world that take that leap into the unknown with the hope that things are better on the other side. This week, we are talking to one of those “leapers” who started a cosmetics company in her living room, who kept getting told “no” by the big beauty brands of the world, and persevered despite personal and professional rejection to build a multi-billion dollar cosmetics company with a heart. Jamie Kern Lima is the founder of the internationally known beauty brand, IT Cosmetics. As Jamie struggled to believe in herself enough to keep her dream alive–even after she was told she didn’t have the “look” to be selling cosmetics–she decided to trust her gut enough to let it guide her through the sea of rejections she received while trying to grow her business. And through this journey, she also realized that the beauty industry needed to change–and that no one should be showing women an unrealistic, unattainable “look” and making them feel less than if they didn’t fit the mold. Jamie would come out winning by standing her ground to show “real women” (including herself) of all shapes, sizes, skin types and colors as part of her brand, and her determination to make every woman feel beautiful and to trust themselves to know what is best for their lives is her mission and message to this very day.
Fresh starts, new beginnings, and renovations. As we continue to dive into all the ways we can “flip the script” in our lives, we’re taking on one that is pretty literal—refreshing and renovating homes. Whether it’s something small like shuffling the furniture around in our living room to give a new perspective, or adding a new color of paint to our walls, we can all attest to how good it feels to freshen a space. Taking it to the next level—renovating a space—by maybe taking a room or a whole house to the studs and building something new can be daunting, but the rewards can be more than just the joy of something different, and can translate to practical things like more functional space, modernization, and even adding more value to your home. Our guest this week knows a thing or two about building something beautiful and new to refresh and restore a living space—we have none other than HGTV’s Mina Hawk from the show Good Bones. Mina decided to flip the script in her own life, and with no construction experience, taught herself the craft and embarked on the task of flipping homes that were once considered lost causes and turning them into places for their owners to live and grow for years to come. Mina continues to forge into new areas in —writing her very children’s book Built Together. This story gives kids a fresh look at what family actually means—showing readers that families are just as different as homes. Jen and Mina are diving into all of this and more and they talk about what home and community actually mean, and why creating close familial and neighborly bonds is so important.
Continuing on in our Flip the Script series, we look at not only the things that happen “to us,” but the things that happen “by us.” Our guest this week epitomizes a life that includes those things we weren’t expecting that alter our course (for her, it was a heart defect diagnosis) and those things that are very intentional, like new efforts to find balance and taking responsibility for steering our own lives. Singer/songwriter Amy Grant is no stranger to our show, or to our community. She’s that friend so many of us have walked with via her music, through her writing, through just the way she negotiates the world in a way that is present, centered and grateful. Amy has walked through her share of flipped scripts—including the end of her first marriage (she and Jen share their common experiences there), the aging of her parents and the final lessons they taught her, and most recently, the heart surgery she would have never expected to happen—in 2020 no less—right in the heart of the COVID-19 pandemic. Amy and Jen talk about what happens during seasons of loss and upheaval and how they listen to their bodies, their hearts and trusted friends’ voices to empower themselves to steer out of the storm. In it all, Amy believes that “the next opportunity, the next enlightenment, the next ‘everything’ for all of us is within reach.”
When it comes to learning to dream again after a big change, it can be hard to think outside the bounds of where we have always lived. It’s hard to imagine a world that looks different from the one we are so accustomed to. So, when it comes the time to start thinking big and looking outside the box we place ourselves in, where do we start? Oftentimes, flipping the script happens internally, and then branches out from there. This week we will be looking at the ways in which faith guides us through life, and how in many cases, growing in your own faith is the pathway to connecting with others. Malynda Hale is an author, singer, and podcast host that lives at the intersection of faith, justice, and inclusion. She believes that everything starts with a conversation—whether that’s diving into what defunding the police actually means, or looking at the ways we are called to include all people, not just those that look like us. She focuses on dismantling the negative perceptions toward black people held by many in America, and how her work is dedicated towards creating a more welcoming and safe world for everyone. Jen and Malynda will dive into Malynda’s faith journey, her calling to teach and encourage others, and why it’s so important to stand up for what and who you believe in.
Kicking off our Flipping the Script series is none other than our venerable host, Jen herself. In this solo episode, Jen transparently talks about the changes in her life in the last year–the days she thought she wouldn’t survive, and the days where she could finally see hope dancing around the corner. Jen walks us through key times throughout all of her life when she flipped the script of her existence in several areas; spiritually, as a woman, and in her view of her body. She shares how we all are inclined to resist change and how easy it is to adhere to the script that is handed to us, and how we’ll even create our own script of lies to ourselves to stay and be accepted within certain structures. In the end, Jen acknowledges that flipping the script can create a disturbance around us–within our families, within our friend groups–but that listening to yourself and believing that your instincts and hearts are good are worth the upheaval, and becoming unstuck will lead to the most rewarding days ahead.
Take a peek around
If you’re not sure where to begin, I got you, friend. I’m always bringing you something new to enjoy.
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