I don’t want to be a soldier. I just want to be a person.

January 19, 2023

I am a member of several communities — preachers, writers, the King family – in which the Venn diagram crossover includes the following: fixation on metaphors, hyperbole, and melodramatic storytelling. We love a symbolic, inspiring narrative where the three key points all begin with an M. Give us literary devices…

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The Gate is Open

October 22, 2015

I don’t know if you know this, but chickens are low-hanging fruit. My girlfriend Katie asked me yesterday: “Did you have trouble with animals digging to get to your chickens? Did you have anything around their coop to prevent it?” No, we basically provided a free chicken buffet for neighboring…

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Our Family Cancer Manifesto

June 2, 2015

We continue to be incredibly grateful for your concern and follow up on my mom’s cancer. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in November and moved pretty quickly into surgery and radiation. She now has regular scans, so we live in three-month increments praying for the all-clear each time. We…

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On Becoming a Writer

February 4, 2015

Just to be clear, let me see if I’m describing you right: You love to read, you always have. You think words are powerful and beautiful and devastating when used correctly. You have a story, ideas, a lot to say. These things rattle around in your brain and if you don’t get…

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The Thing About Being More Awesome…

January 5, 2015

It’s that lovely time of year when short-lived best intentions quickly give way to self-loathing. Happy New Year, y’all! Like my favey-fave-favorite Anne Lamott’s therapist asked her after disclosing her New Year’s Diet Plan: “Oh, that’s nice, honey. How much weight were you planning on gaining?” Delightful. $150 for that acute…

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Run Your Race

March 24, 2014

I refuse to be shamed by this: I love American Idol. Thirteen seasons in and I still dedicate DVR space to it every week. I don’t even care, you guys. My musician friends are all it harms the integrity of creative license and fabricates a fan base that makes true artisanship…

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To Those for Whom V-Day Stinks

February 13, 2014

I’m probably not supposed to reveal this because of the manliness and machismo and tattoos and Harley and whatnot, but I married a gigantic romantic. He is mushy and cry-ish and I love it. He thinks up ways to surprise or thrill me. I mean, he threw me a surprise…

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I Miss My Actual Life

January 20, 2014

The other day, discussing a man friend who travels all over the world for some sort of fancy business job, I told my girlfriend: “Why do these companies fly someone in to do all this work? Surely there is someone right there who can do what he does. It seems…

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The Mythical “They”

October 17, 2013

When I was a sophomore in high school, I wrote a paper on “personal prejudices” for my teen leadership class. I chose to write about my unfair bias against kids who partied. (OH MY GOSH I WAS SUCH A SQUARE. Same girl who was voted “Most Inspirational” her senior year.…

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When Is It Time to Walk Away?

April 21, 2013

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to make toffee. Again. The first attempt, despite scant instructions and just three ingredients, emerged like a sheet of sand and made me resort to violence and hatred. Round two: sand again. $&*%!!!! So I consulted the interwebs to discover the error of…

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