Amanda Doyle Stops Keeping Score And Stays In The Moment
“I am a person who has a very strong life force. Sometimes that life force comes out like a beautiful floodlight and sometimes it blinds me and I need to stay under the covers for way longer than is appropriate.”
Episode 01
It’s the start of a new series, For The Love of Wonderful You! Spring is arriving and as the winter slumber fades away, many of us are likely plunging into a frantic pace of commitments and To Do lists. But we want to take a minute (or approximately 45-mins to an hour) to create a moment where we can punch the brakes a little. Let’s tell that inner taskmaster to relax; and instead, reflect on finding value in who we are in this moment, and how worthy we are just as we are.
Jen’s amazing conversation partner today is Amanda Doyle. Amanda is many amazing things but you may know her first and foremost as “Sister” on the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast with Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach. She’s also part of the leadership team at Together Rising, the amazing non-profit that has raised over $50 million dollars and given it away to people all over the world who need it most. Amanda has been a longtime social justice advocate and she uses that knowledge to break down deep truths and complex social issues in all her conversations. Today, she reminds us that spending the energy to stay vulnerable in our relationships will always pay out.
In this episode Jen and Amanda talk about:
- The struggle to be vulnerable and truly open up versus managing perceptions and staying in control in relationships
- How Amanda chose sobriety and the surprising clarity that emerged in her marriage, especially during the pandemic
- Jen’s journey to understanding herself and her avoidant tendencies in the aftermath of her divorce
- The profound impact of the “love letter” exercise guided by Liz Gilbert, where “Love’s voice” urged Amanda to stop keeping score in life
Hi everyone. Jen Hatmaker here, host of the For the Love Podcast. Welcome to the show. What a banger we have today–let me look at the clock. Yep. We went 15 minutes over our slotted time, which I knew from the jump we were going to do. All right, I’m getting ahead of myself. I love kicking off a new series; every time I feel excited about it! Today is the very first episode in a new series that we are calling For the Love of Wonderful You. This is something I brought to my team a few months ago that I really wanted to do on the show. Something about this time of year is when the wheels start rocking like it’s March. A lot of things are kind of in motion for a huge chunk of our community. April and May are absolutely gauntlet months, as moms and this is when we start going, “Oh, we’re emerging from the sleepy slumber of the winter and feeling it.” I didn’t want that pace to pick up, that hectic thing that we do without something from our little corner of the world. I was like, “What can we do in March to pause and start asking questions about how deeply loved are we? How worthy are we as we are?” I love these questions, and I love them right now. I’m burying a lead right here and you’re going to see why by the end of the episode. We are worthy of a beautiful life where no one is keeping score. The thing is, no one is keeping score. That’s a huge, profound part of our conversation today that I wrote down on a notecard in real-time.
I cannot possibly have a better partner around this conversation because we have somebody so very smart, so compassionate, so honest and truthful, that I sometimes just listen to her talk and go, “Wow, you are just such a person of profound depth.” I’m so drawn to her. We have the incomparable Amanda Doyle today. You guys, almost all of my community is aware of who this is. In case you don’t, Amanda Doyle is the vice president, general counsel, and member of the Together Rising board of directors. Together Rising is a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit and it is a force in this world. Just a force. Together Rising has raised over $50 million and given it away to people all over the world who need it the most. I have been a part of several of their campaigns and the work of Together Rising shows the good in the world still.
Amanda used to be an attorney. She was a legal fellow. IJM (International Justice Mission), who I have also had a long time relationship with. She specifically, when working at IJM, worked on legal justice for sexual abuse victims in Rwanda, if that’s giving you a little taste of her heartbeat. Amanda is many things, but you may know her most from being co-host of the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast. She happens to be the sister of Glennon Doyle and sister-in-law to Abby Wambach, both of whom I’ve been friends with for a long time. I just love them both so dearly. I’ve had them both on this show, too, and I’ve been on theirs, and so has Tyler.
So listen, we just cross-pollinate guys. It’s because we believe in each other so much. So full circle, finally, Amanda, is on the show. She is uniquely adept at breaking down negative messaging and accessing inner words and inner truth and truly. I just finished our recording and I am walking away with one particular nugget that just shone a light on something in my own creative work. I honestly can’t believe it hadn’t occurred to me, but this is a great conversation. By the way, If you ever want to watch any of these conversations besides just listen to them, We video recorded all of them there over on my YouTube channel. So if you ever want to see Amanda, even just watching her talk is so highly engaging and I can never tear my eyes off her. I want to listen to every word she says. It’s no wonder I made this go late because I did not even want to stop this conversation. I had a million other things to talk about, but whatever; we fit it in as much as we could fit in for you and you are going to love it. I think you’re going to hear some pretty profound thoughts today, and I could not be more delighted to share my conversation with the stunning and wonderful Amanda Doyle.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle
For the Love Podcast Episode ft. Glennon Doyle
For the Love Podcast Episode ft. Abby Wambach
For the Love Podcast Enneagram Threes Episode ft. Lisa Whelchel
We Can Do Hard Thing Episode ft. Liz Gilbert
Letters From Love with Liz Gilbert (Substack)
For the Love Podcast Episode ft. Sarah Bessey
The For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media,
presented by Audacy.
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