Author: Jen Hatmaker

Dear Rest of the World

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

Dear Rest of the World,

Greetings from America where our president has threatened to commit ethnic cleansing in Gaza, challenged the sovereignty of our closest allies, issued an EO to end birthright citizenship for children of non-citizens, and dismantled the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID). Trump has rescinded EO 14087, which lowered prescription drug costs for Medicare and Medicaid recipients. He withdrew the US from the World Health Organization, cutting off U.S. funding for global health initiatives, including pandemic preparedness, vaccine distribution, and disease eradication programs. And that is just the first four months. 

We are in hell. 

It is hard to even speak to our global friends about the horror in America, the horror that America is becoming to the world. That our president is turning us into an international villain is unspeakable. That he is alienating our trusted allies and imposing shocking tariffs on our international trade channels is anathema. That he cannot form complete sentences and rambles incoherently and posts unhinged middle-of-the-night rants on Truth Social (“Has anyone noticed that, since I said ‘I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT,’ she’s no longer ‘HOT?’”) is so embarrassing, we can hardly get through an hour without another spike of shameful behavior that is punishingly cruel and shockingly stupid. We are horrified. 

Please know that a huge portion of Americans did everything we could to keep him out of office again. We marched and rallied and registered voters and used every platform we have. We lost friends and family members over it, which continues to be a heartbreaking loss across America. While Trump screams that he won by a landslide, he certainly did not. Of the 245 million eligible US voters, only 65% voted. Which means Kamala received 30.6% of the possible vote and Trump received 31.4%. So less than a third of our country voted for him. 

But we are all stuck in this dystopian nightmare now, including you, and we are so, so sorry. We are ashamed and scared. Every day brings a new shocking low. No sooner does he insult the Canadian Prime Minister by suggesting annexation, then he is on Truth Social ranting about Bruce Springsteen. Everything is so humiliating. 

And destabilizing. If Trump was just a harmless dumb-dumb, we could muddle through. But he is a dangerous dumb-dumb; the very worst kind, a useful idiot in the hands of far more calculating, sinister actors. And because the GOP, with almost no exceptions, cares more about protecting their own power, there are no guardrails around him. They have the majority and are willing to overlook financial abuse, corruption, lawlessness, and truly catastrophic outcomes for the ordinary Americans they are supposed to represent. They dgaf. Accept a $400 million luxury jet from Qatar? Sure, why not. 

The Emperor has no clothes and doesn’t give a shit. 

Please don’t give up on us, world. There are millions over here fighting the good fight. Americans have filed more than 200 lawsuits against Trump’s agenda, and federal judges have issued more than 70 rulings impeding his efforts on a range of issues. We have worn out our phones calling our senators. Regular folks are delivering pleas and rebukes at school board meetings, town hall gatherings, legislative hearings. We are deeply organizing already for midterms next year. We haven’t let up on Trump a single second of a single day. 

So many of us understand that our security and wellbeing is bound up with yours. We know this. We want the whole earth to be safer, more just, more free, not just us. We want you and your children to flourish too. “America First” doesn’t make any sense in a functioning global community. We understand that letting Nigerian children die of starvation in Dikwa because we cut all their food program funding isn’t just unspeakably evil, it is destabilizing for the world. We obviously get that dismantling the Justice Department’s anti-corruption units is a “going out of business bonanza for dictators, kleptocrats, crooked officials, and organized-crime leaders” in every country (Airmail News). Trump isn’t just cruel, he is foolish. 

Our president despises vulnerable people and goodness and mercy and cooperation, but most of us don’t. We remain stunned at his cruelty and ignorance. You’d think we would be used to this by now, but somehow every day is still astounding. We’ve never watched an American president raze democracy, decency, intelligence, and civil rights with such speed and unchecked power. 

Thank you for your kindness. Your messages of solidarity and compassion have moved us. Thank you for your resistance to Trump; his ego is hopelessly fragile and hearing consistent disrespect from the rest of the world breaches the echo chamber he has built around himself. He thinks the world “loves and respects him” until you assure him you do not. This bothers him. He is predictable and easy to trigger.  

We are hoping to survive the next three and half years without losing our country and irreparably harming yours. In the meantime, please know that so many Americans are fighting from the inside over here, and we love and respect our global friends. We love your countries and families and businesses; hell, you are our business partners across nearly every industry. Your suffering and success matters to us. We hope this nightmare comes to an end soon and we can begin the hard work of rebuilding our reputation, friendship, and trustworthiness with you again. 

In the meantime, remember us, friends. Women have lost autonomy over our own bodies, our origin story of colonization and slavery is being scrubbed from our museums and textbooks, and our small businesses are being put out of commission by tariffs. Thank you for supporting us as we fight fascism. Not all of us over here have lost our souls. 

In grief and solidarity, 

A Bunch of us in America

A Beginner’s Guide to Journaling (That Actually Sticks!)

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

Because your spiral-bound diary from 1997 isn’t cutting it anymore.

Let me start with a confession: I’ve started approximately 47 journals in my lifetime. Maybe more. Most are abandoned halfway through January with about three entries and a grocery list. So if you’ve ever bought a gorgeous notebook, wrote one angsty paragraph, and then lost it in your nightstand drawer forever—hi, welcome. You are my people.

But lately, I’ve actually figured out a journaling practice that works for real-life humans. It’s not about being poetic or consistent or good. It’s about getting quiet with yourself for five dang minutes and being honest. That’s it.

So whether you’re journaling for clarity, healing, sanity, or just to remember what day it is—let’s make it simple, doable, and maybe even…enjoyable?

Here are my go-to journaling tips for beginners that actually stick. No guilt. No perfection. Just real life on paper.

My List of Journal Tips That Stick

  1. Lower the bar. No, seriously. Lower it.
     You don’t need to write a novel or start with “Dear Diary.” (Unless you want to. You do you.) One sentence is enough. A word. A doodle. A hot take on your day. The key? Just show up messy. No rules.
  2. Give your journal a “job.”
     Is it a gratitude log? A venting vault? A space to process big feelings? Pick a vibe. It helps your brain know what to do when the page is staring at you like a blank void.
  3. Pick a time that actually works for you.
     Some people journal at dawn. Those people are adorable. There’s no magic hour—just whatever time you can commit to without hating your life.
  4. Use prompts if your brain goes blank.
     Some days I’m like, “What even happened today?” and nothing comes. So I keep a stash of prompts handy, like:
  • What made me feel something today?
  • What am I avoiding?
  • What do I need more or less of right now?

(If you want more where this came from, my Wellness for the Rest of Us course is packed with self-reflection tools like this.)

  1. Go for five minutes. Set a timer. That’s it.
     This is my favorite trick. Set a 5-minute timer, write whatever spills out, then move on with your day. You will be amazed how much lighter you feel after just five honest minutes.
  2. Don’t reread it. Yet.
     This isn’t for editing. It’s not a memoir-in-progress. Let it be raw. Let it be rambly. Just get it out and move on. (You can read it back later when you’re ready for insight—or comedy.)
  3. Celebrate tiny wins.
     Three days in a row? You’re basically an icon. One honest page? Queen behavior. A half-finished entry that helped you breathe deeper? That counts. It all counts.

Ready to Make Journaling Part of Your Real-Life Self-Care?

If you’re craving a gentler, more grounded rhythm in your life—not just journaling, but real tools for rest, healing, and breathing room—I created something just for you.

The Self-Care & Sanity Me Course Bundle is where we take tiny habits (like journaling!) and build them into something healing and sustainable. Think of it as a soul reset button. You’ll love it.

And friend—if you’ve fallen off the journaling wagon before, welcome to the club. Just start again. There’s zero shame in coming back to yourself.

Your story is worth writing down — even if it’s one messy, honest, beautiful line at a time.

On Conflict: How I Want to Show Up

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

The thing about life is that we are surrounded by other people we are expected to live with. Apparently, every last one of them is a human person. These people around us can be irritating, bewildering, explosive, and weird. They make a thousand dumb choices while refusing to operate according to our preferences. Sometimes they are insane. A bunch of them chew too loud. They are too much or not enough depending on our mood that day, and it can be a real trial to be in relationships is all I am saying. (Lucky for them, they get to love precious, adorable us and we never bother them in the slightest because we live right.)

The point is that learning to manage conflict and repair is a useful skill down here on God’s earth. Fine, if I may be honest: of all the healthy practices I’ve improved on in adulthood, this one is still pretty not great. I have an avoidant attachment style, and conflict immobilizes me. Over an accrued amount of years, I developed a freeze response to what I perceived as aggression. In my closest relationship, I spent a fair amount of time feeling verbally pummeled, and rather than develop healthy communication skills, I just went dark. This, as you might imagine, didn’t only not help, it made everything worse. Consistent withdrawal is just as damaging as consistent anger in a relationship. 

My crucible is equating conflict with a lack of safety, which is sometimes true but usually not. I immediately feel threatened. A heavily raised voice, a monologue lecture instead of a conversation, words intended to sting; these have locked me out of agency in conflict. I can’t hold my own center, my nervous system over-activates, and I default to old internal messaging: “I am not safe with this person.” (In my defense, I have been right on this, so.) 

The WAY I do not want to live the second half of my life the same way. Because the truth is, conflict is nooooooormal. It happens. It happens between two pretty great people. It happens because life is stressful. It happens because we are constantly telling ourselves stories about other people’s motives and intentions. It happens because we are hungry. It happens because we get triggered. It happens because sometimes even pretty great people blow it. 

For the purposes of this lil’ piece, I’m not addressing conflict with a super toxic, dysfunctional person. That is its own category and has its own set of rules. For now, I’m talking about conflict between two mostly healthy people who care about each other but suck sometimes. You know, regular run-of-the-mill bullshittery. None of this is from a book, but this is simply what I have learned (okay, am learning) and how I’d like to show up in conflict from here on out:

Establish safety immediately. 

As mentioned, I need this ground to stay solid, or I am unable to engage in a way that aligns with my values. I attempt this by gently reminding myself: “I am safe with me.” After plunging to the lowest possible standard for how I will be treated, I simply know I will never allow it again, and I’ve earned my own trust. Generally, collapse is preceded with death by a thousand cuts. I know those cuts, and I know they escalate once we let them past the firewall enough times. 

Saying kindly to yourself “I am safe with me” reorients around your own standards, and it takes the power and responsibility away from another person to be your safety enforcer. Otherwise, we are constantly on someone else’s hook. We have absolutely no agency over our own emotional regulation, because we have handed control to someone else. Thus they have to thread a perfect needle in conflict to keep us stable. 

Protecting my own safety means trusting my own boundaries: I will not yell or be yelled at. I will not stay on the receiving end of one-sided aggression. I will honor my own standards for how I will be treated, even directly in the middle of conflict. I am in charge of my own regulation, and when that baseline is established, I am able to deal with the conflict actually in front of me instead of any bad history I am attaching it to. Let this thing just be this thing.  

Set a quick internal goal. 

Every instinct I have says the goal is to win, or convince, or be right, or land a punch if I am particularly upset. But if I tell myself right out of the gate: “We are on the same team, and the goal is to find connection and resolution,” that changes my whole energy. Even if I am hurt or confused, I still need to be able to listen. The gap between experience and intent is where a lot of shit goes sideways. Plus, sometimes a good person’s immediate reaction goes nuclear, and it takes maturity to look beyond the explosion and find out what set it off.  

If I am prioritizing connection and resolution, then all my communication tactics are different than if I am fixated on being right. This does not mean capitulating, or acquiescing, or rolling over, or denying my own feelings. Diminishing my feelings to spare someone else’s or hasten the end of conflict is a messsssssss. That resentment gets buried alive and will eventually poison the groundwater. It will absolutely ruin a relationship over time. Ask me how I know. 

But we can hold our own center while still listening carefully in order to understand: What made you feel that way? What did you hear me say? Is there something I don’t understand? What do you need me to hear? These questions are the magic elixir of connection, and that is my goal. So get there. 

Avoid inflammatory language. 

Oh, it is so tempting. Drawing blood feels good for one whole minute. Also, when our central nervous systems are triggered, we tend to exaggerate and catastrophize. You always, you never… We assign malintent to the other person and tell ourselves a story about their faults. Blame becomes a handy weapon. Anger is an easier tool than vulnerability. I prefer it so much, but alas, it sure doesn’t deliver.

So rather than reach for easy barbs, I take several deep, deep breaths. I will not resort to the lowest common denominator. I will not make sweeping statements about someone’s character, which is such an unfair response to a singular moment. I will not attach old, meaningfully resolved conflicts with this person to this moment. Fortunately or unfortunately, I know how to use words, so I will not wield them as weapons. They can be put to such beautiful use as tools of reconnection. Do no harm. 

Do not avoid honest language. 

Here is where I struggle most. My therapist had to tell me ten thousand times: “Jen, sad does not equal bad. Mad does not equal bad. Hard does not equal bad.” The Enneagram 3 equates conflict with lack of morality/safety/permanency. We prefer everything to be going greaaaaaaat. I have always grappled with contention. Which means I have eaten my feelings like a five-course meal. It is genuinely hard for me to express my feelings and needs clearly, which shows up in my personal and work relationships, and — fun fact — makes everything harder. 

So my adult work is learning to be honest about what I need, want, and hope for. What hurt my feelings. What made me feel anxious or unsafe. What I am perceiving. Sometimes that is more like saying: “The story I am telling myself is…” and then a more truthful conversation emerges, which is generally a massive improvement from the narrative I am imagining. When I am in dialogue with a safe person, this vulnerability almost always ends in reconnection.

Own my own shit. 

God, being a human is such a situation. We bring our histories and habits into every relationship. If you think you have never contributed to any problems, you “might” be an asshole. Where did I make assumptions? Did I misread the room? Did I project something unfairly? Did I overreact? Have I committed to misunderstanding? Did I respond in a way that escalated the thing? Did I take something personally that wasn’t intended that way? Did I just full on blow it? 

There is something so insanely powerful about simply saying: “I’m sorry for ____” and naming it clearly and truthfully. Even if your part is only half of it. You are only responsible for yourself. Most of us are out here trying our best, including the decent person you are in conflict with. Apologies literally make relationships work. Frankly, there is no other way. If your person never apologizes? Red flag. If you never apologize? Raise your own red flag.

I have been in conflict with every precious person in my life at some point. Parents, sibs, kids, friends, partners, coworkers; every one of them. Not because we are all doing life wrong, but because we are all doing life. This is how it is. We either figure out how to navigate conflict or we will end up alone and bitter. Amazingly, relationships mended through repair can be even stronger than before. When we blow it, own it, communicate it, and forgive it, we create safety with our best people. It releases the pressure cooker of perfection. Knowing we can make things right means we aren’t as terrified to get things wrong. At this point, those are the only kinds of relationships I can meaningfully be in. 

If I’m doing the calculations right, I’ll have this mastered right around the time my time on earth is about up. Take heart, fellow humans. It is a messy business, this living a life. Keep going. Keep your little wobbly heart open, and I think we’ll get connected, beautiful relationships on the other side of that tenderness. 

Dear Teachers Everywhere

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

Happy May(hem), darlings! Nestled among the bazillion other moving parts this month is something I refuse to let get lost in the shuffle: Teacher Appreciation. THEY JUST MEAN TOO MUCH TO US.

Having sent five kids all the way through, I consider teachers my coparents, support group, and personal heroes.

I wrote a love letter to teachers a few years ago when I had five kids from Buda Elementary to Hays High School, and I’d love to post it again because every solitary word is still true. I got teary reading it. Teachers, you’ve meant the world to us. And you deserve to be celebrated every single week of the year. Enjoy this tribute.

Before I had any books or blogs or conferences or speaking engagements, I used to be a teacher. I know. Petrifying. I taught 4th grade for three years and 1st grade for one. And then I had a bunch of babies and can’t remember the next six years.

I was a very average elementary teacher who totally loved my students. And also? Sincerely sorry about all that homework, 4th grade parents. I wasn’t a mother yet. I figured you had nothing to do but complete my exhaustive weekly social studies packets utilizing your children’s higher level thinking skills and research techniques, because what every 10-year-old needs is five hours a week of additional geography work.

I’m certain now you wished me dead. Bless it. (Several students have contacted me and they are all I’m an accountant now and I’m like um, do you mean an accountant for your high school math team? and they’re like I’m almost 30 and I’m all these are lies.)

Though I’ve switched to the job I currently have, I will never forget my classroom years, and I have a few things I want to tell you, Teachers Everywhere.

First of all, I’ve calculated your earnings by adding your classroom hours, pre- and post-school hours, conferences and phone calls, weekend work, after-hours grading, professional development requirements, lesson planning, team meetings, extracurricular clubs and teams, parent correspondence, district level seminars, and material preparation, and I believe you make approximately 19 cents an hour.

And then people say, yeah but teachers get three months off for summer, and then we all clutch our guts and die laughing because WHATEVER, MAN. Like teachers leave on the last day of school and just show up on the first with a miraculously prepared classroom and a month’s worth of lesson plans. But seriously, thanks for the laugh.

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The amount of work and energy you pour into your work and our children is so astonishing, it is a crime that you don’t all make $150K a year minimum. Since you couldn’t possibly do it for the money, we can only assume you love your job and love our kids. Can you understand how much we appreciate you?

You are doing far more than teaching our kids the building blocks of knowledge and learning; you are helping us raise our children. You provide a second environment in which they have to practice respect, obedience, teamwork, diligence. We tell them take initiative on your work and they are like this house is a drag, and then they come home from school and say I’m starting this project early because Mrs. Pulis says to take initiative, and we wonder if you have magic powers or if our children are just willfully obtuse. The answer is…yes.

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That high standard you set for our kids? We freaking love it. Thank you. Thank you for insisting on kindness and respect, excellence and persistence. Thank you for sometimes saying, “This is junky work and you can do better. See you at recess.” BOOM. All day long, teachers. We stand behind you. Thanks for requiring their best.

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And let me tell you something else: I’ve always had kids who mostly eased through school, but now I have two English-as-a-Second-Language kiddos and my heart for you has grown forty sizes bigger. My littles went to school with virtually no English, and I am telling you: we wouldn’t have made it through that first year without you, and I know what it cost.

I can’t count how many papers came home with this stamp:

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Don’t imagine I don’t know exactly what that means. Teachers, when you instruct our kids that struggle or have special needs, I know you have, yet again, patiently pulled up a seat next to their desks, 24 other kids still in the room, and kindly helped them toward mastery. I know you modify, adapt, adjust for their success, which takes so much time and energy. Children with emotional or physical challenges, kids with language barriers and personal turmoil, those who struggle to learn and retain, test and succeed, they require so much of you in the midst of your regular responsibilities, and your patient attentiveness cannot possibly be overcelebrated. As a mom whose children blossomed under the weight of your investment, I could throw myself at your feet and weep with gratitude.

It’s one thing to have parents who sort of have to love you; it’s another to have a teacher affirm your goodness all year long. You know our kids come home and repeat every kind word you deliver, right? I close my eyes and thank God that another safe adult is building health into my children. Your consistent presence is deeply healing for so many hurt kids. Your words are life-giving.

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That is a LOT of daily affirmation. I feel exhausted just looking at this.

We know your task is incredibly difficult. Be creative and innovative…but also teach to this test, which by the way, your pay and security depends on. Challenge your gifted kids…aaaand modify for those with developmental delays. Keep all those parents happy! (<— This alone should double your salary.) Use this new model, no this new one, now this new one. Surprise! We changed the entire district database. Please forfeit your Saturday for training. Stay on top of classroom communication. Attend all ARD/IEP/ESL evaluations for your students.

And oh, you do so much more. Serve on this additional committee. Volunteer to sponsor the Junior Class. Guess what you’re doing this weekend? Prom chaperone. You lead Destination Imagination Teams; it only takes 100 hours of your life. You coach, lead, sponsor, direct. You put on plays and programs, award ceremonies and graduations. You come early and stay late for the students who couldn’t get it, didn’t finish it, need your one-on-one help. You wear bandanas and paint your faces for Field Day. You are rock stars.

Administrators, we see and love you, too. When you sat down with me holding your legal pads and pens, ready to learn how to care best for my incoming adopted kindergartener and second grader, and you wrote down every word I said and agreed to every last request, even when I asked if I could come to kinder with Remy for the FIRST TWO WEEKS OF SCHOOL ALL DAY LONG, you nodded and simply said…absolutely. I will never forget that. You are for us, for our kids, for our families, for our teachers, and we adore you.

You are amazing, Teachers and Administrators. From the bottom of my heart, I want you to hear it: Thank you.

You are so loved, so important. Your work impacts kids for the rest of their lives. You don’t get the credit you deserve, so I am standing up today, applauding you, cherishing your investment in the next generation, in my kids. I see the incredible amount of work you do, and I am forever grateful. You are heroes; there is no lesser designation.

Please remember when you are grading papers at 10:30 on Sunday night, or pinning another incredible idea to your Teacher Board, or writing our kids another encouraging note, or throwing a party because they survived the latest standardized test, we see you, we appreciate you, and we freaking love you.

BRAVO.

Your life matters so much and your legacy will go on long after you’re done teaching. You are sending out visionaries, thinkers, activists, and leaders into the world, and we owe you a debt of gratitude that we can never repay.

The Light Pirate Summary & Book Review (Why This Novel Belongs on Your TBR List)

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

If you’ve been looking for a novel that lingers long after the last page, The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks-Dalton is it. I read this months ago for book club consideration, and I still find myself thinking about it. That’s the mark of a special book.

Set in a near-future Florida submerged by climate change, The Light Pirate is a harrowing, beautifully written tale of adaptation, survival, and transformation. It’s rich with magical realism, unforgettable characters, and themes that feel both timely and timeless.

So if you’re searching for The Light Pirate summary, curious about whether it’s worth the read (spoiler: YES), or just want to know why this one struck such a chord with me, you’re in the right place.

The Light Pirate Summary (No Spoilers!)

This novel opens with a storm—a devastating hurricane—and the birth of a baby girl named Wanda. Her arrival marks the beginning of a powerful journey set against the backdrop of Florida’s slow, inevitable collapse.

As the seas rise and infrastructure disappears, Wanda’s world is redefined. Raised in isolation and shaped by loss, she grows into a woman deeply connected to the earth and what remains of her community. The book is divided into four parts—Power, Water, Light, and Time—each one marking a new phase in her life and in the world around her.

But The Light Pirate is so much more than a climate crisis narrative. It’s a meditation on resilience, connection, and what it means to evolve in a world that’s crumbling beneath your feet.

What Makes The Light Pirate a Must-Read

Here’s the deal: this isn’t just a good book. It’s a memorable one.

Lily Brooks-Dalton brings together stark realism and subtle magic in a way that feels both grounded and otherworldly. The writing is luminous. The pacing is intentional. And the emotional depth? Let’s just say I had more than one lump in my throat.

I especially loved how the novel explores the concept of chosen family—Wanda’s bond with Phyllis, an older neighbor, is one of the most touching and vital relationships in the entire story.

Whether you’re here for the speculative fiction, the powerful themes, or the character development, The Light Pirate delivers.

My Take: The Light Pirate Book Review

Y’all. I read this book in one big gulp and then spent the next few days spiraling about it (in the best way). There’s something about it I can’t quite shake—it’s original, deeply felt, and totally unforgettable.

There’s a quiet strength in the storytelling. It’s not loud or flashy, but it grabs you. The magical realism is subtle and stunning. The characters are vivid and real. And Wanda? She’s the kind of protagonist that burrows into your heart and stays there.

If you’re looking for a book that feels like an experience—one that challenges you, moves you, and makes you think—please trust me on this one. The Light Pirate is worth every page.

Why The Light Pirate Belongs on Your TBR

If The Light Pirate isn’t already on your radar, it’s time to change that. This book is the definition of impactful fiction—relevant, lyrical, and full of heart. It’s a story for our time, and for anyone trying to make sense of what comes next.

Whether you came here searching for The Light Pirate book review or just wanted a summary to help you decide, let this be your sign: read it.

You won’t forget it. Promise.

Ready to Talk About It? Join MY Book Club!

If The Light Pirate spoke to you—or you want to read powerful, beautiful stories like this one with women across the country—come join us in the Jen Hatmaker Book Club.

We read life-changing books by brilliant women authors, and we unpack it all together. Big themes. Big feelings. Big conversations.

Add The Light Pirate to your TBR list—and then come tell us all your thoughts in the club.

 Join the Jen Hatmaker Book Club and let’s read together!

For a limited time only, you can sign up for our special Summer of Yes experience—three months of unforgettable reads, rich discussions, and thoughtful extras. But heads up: registration closes May 5th.

What We Can Teach Our Kids This Month

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

I have walked five children into kindergarten and filmed those same five children walking across a high school graduation stage.

The oldest one is married with a mortgage — and their own son on the way. The youngest recently earned her diploma.

In the life cycle of parenting, getting them to young adulthood closes a loop (IT OPENS A WHOLE ‘NOTHER LOOP THAT NO ONE TOLD US ABOUT but that is another essay). 

But let’s talk about those pre-graduation years. Here’s one thing I noticed: If you leave kids to their own devices, they will spend $30 faster than you can say “drive-thru Taco Bell.” I mean, poof—gone. All that hard-earned allowance spent on slime, screen time, snacks, whoever knows what else — and when you ask where it all went, you get that classic shrug like, “I don’t know, Mom, it just disappeared.”

Listen, I get it. Money feels like magic when you’re young. It comes from mysterious places like birthday cards, tooth fairy visits, and your mom’s purse (which is obviously bottomless, right?). But as adults, we know better: money doesn’t grow on trees, and one of the kindest things we can do for our kids and teens is to teach them exactly that.

April is Financial Literacy Month, and while that might not sound as fun as Easter baskets or spring break road trips, it’s a golden opportunity. It’s our chance to help our kids get curious — and confident — about money. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that confidence follows knowledge. And I want to raise kids who aren’t just kind and nice, but savvy.

Start Early (Like… “Piggy Bank” Early)

Financial literacy doesn’t start with budgets and spreadsheets. It begins with the basics: “This is how we earn money. This is how we save it. And this is how we decide what really matters when we spend it.”

We want to raise kids who are financially aware, not financially anxious. Yes, and amen. We don’t need to turn every trip to the store into a TED Talk about fiscal responsibility (though there was a time I tried), but we can bring our kids into real-life conversations about spending, saving, giving, and planning.

And look, it can be fun! Start with their own little “job”— maybe it’s helping with dishes, walking the dog, or setting the table. Give them a few bucks and then let them practice decision-making. Teach them to divide it up: some to spend, some to save, and some to give. Boom — budgeting 101, kid edition.

Teens + Money: More Than Just a Summer Job

As our kids grow up, so do their financial responsibilities. When they become teens, the financial stakes might feel higher. Maybe they’re working part-time, saving for their first car, eyeing college costs, and trying to figure out how debit cards work (and that overdrafting is not free money, Lord help us).

This is also where long-term thinking starts to take root. It’s where you can start introducing bigger-picture concepts—like investing, interest, and yes… even life insurance.

I know, I know. Life insurance isn’t exactly the hot topic at the dinner table. But here’s the thing: it’s not just about being “grown-up.” It’s about being prepared. And that’s a lesson worth planting early. I love that Modern Woodmen says “Life insurance is not for the people who die. It’s for the people who live.”

A simple, child-friendly life insurance policy can be a thoughtful way to begin talking about financial protection—and the idea that we care for our families not just in the moment, but down the line too. It’s not scary; it’s actually deeply loving.

Money Values = Family Values

At the end of the day, teaching our kids about money is really about teaching them about life. What do we value? How do we treat what we’ve been given? How do we share, plan, dream, and take care of each other?

When we talk to our kids about money, we’re not just prepping them for adulthood — we’re inviting them into the kind of life that’s thoughtful, wise, and generous. That’s the kind of legacy I want to leave behind.

You can start now. At the dinner table. During the ride home from school. Heck, you can even take your kid to a financial review. Learn more about that here.

This month, take a minute to talk to your kids about how money works. You don’t have to be a financial expert. Just be honest. Be curious together. Money may not grow on trees, but financial literacy can grow in your home.

Modern Woodmen of America. 1701 1st Ave. Rock Island, IL 61201. Product availability varies by states. Individual representatives may not be licensed to sell all products. Paid endorsement.

Spring Dresses for Women: 2025 Style Guide

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

As the weather starts to warm and the flowers start to show off, there’s something in us that says: it’s time to shed the winter layers and step into something lighter. If you’re wondering what to wear in spring this year, I’ve got you.

Whether you’re headed to brunch, hosting a backyard dinner, or simply in need of a closet refresh, these spring dresses for women are the perfect mix of flattering, comfy, and actually wearable in real life.

Spring Outfits for Women That Just Work

Here’s the thing: we want cute spring dresses — and not the ones that dig, tug, or wrinkle just from breathing. So if your spring wardrobe goals include easy spring outfits that make you feel like a million bucks without trying too hard, keep scrolling.

From casual to classic, I’ve gathered up some of my picks for 2025 spring dresses that give us style, comfort, and maybe even a few compliments. (P.S.: For a limited time, you can save 35% on any of these with my code JEN).

The Naomi Dress – Effortless & Elegant

You KNOW how I feel about dresses with sleeves. They are a yes please, thank you very much.  And the Naomi delivers. It’s one of my top picks for flattering spring dresses.

It’s also a “throw it on and go” kind of outfit that you can dress up (with sandals or heels) or dress down (with sneakers) — and I love that the tie waist gives it a beautiful shape without clinging. The skirt has that breezy movement that just feels like spring.

Shop the Naomi

The Amari Dress – A Pop of Personality

The Amari puff sleeve maxi dress is here to make a statement—in the best way. It flaunts a bold sleeve, comfy fit, and a fresh color that feels so well-suited to the season. It’s a great option that checks the box on casual spring dresses that still feel elevated. You’ll wear this one on repeat.

Shop the Amari

The Millie Dress – Feminine & Classic

This is the dress you pull out when you want to feel instantly put-together. I adore the ruching and this sage green color — but it also comes in black. Millie’s basically the definition of timeless spring fashion for women who know what works. It’s ideal for spring dinners, Mother’s Day, or date night.

Shop the Millie

The Bridget Dress – Relaxed & Refined

If spring outfits for women had a chill queen, it would be the Bridget. She is flowy, layerable, and basically begs to be worn on a porch with a cold drink. This one says “I’ve got style and I’ve got stuff to do.” And the baby blue hue… a dream. But there’s a black version, too!

Shop the Bridget

The Dana Jumpsuit – Okay, I know It’s Not a Dress

If you just aren’t feeling a dress, I get it. I’ve been loving the cuteness of jumpsuits lately. This one has the same amazing versatility of a dress. And, please take note of its pockets.

A little sneaker or loafer. A beautiful bag. A pop of color. Out the door you go.

Shop the Dana

Spring Wardrobe Essentials (That Don’t Try Too Hard)

If you’re building your spring wardrobe essentials list, these dresses are all you need to get started. They pair easily with a denim jacket, a straw tote, or your favorite white sneakers. These are clothes made for real life.

Bonus: They all work great for layering when spring weather can’t decide what season it wants to be.

Where to Shop the Best Spring Dresses for Women (With a Deal!)

Googling for “spring dresses near me”? You don’t even have to leave the house. Every single one of these dresses is from ABLE, which means it’s ethically made, gorgeous, and it ships right to your door.

And because I love you, here’s a deal just for my readers:

Use code JEN for 35% off off select dresses
Use code JENSALE for 50% off any additional sale Items you find that you love!

Ready for a spring refresh? It’s time to trade in the heavy layers and wear something that feels like you.

Not Normal, Not Numb

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

Very rarely am I stumped by a blank page. In fact, I recently told my business team that my favorite part of work is opening a fresh blank document and letting my brain do what, I guess, it was designed to do. 

Today is an exception. I’ve been sitting on my porch swing with this blank page opened for thirty minutes. How do I talk about what it feels like right now in America? How crushing it is to watch this administration abandon our allies and blowtorch our economy? This week, the House passed the SAVE Act to send on to the Senate which, among sweeping voter suppression impact, would also mean every married woman who changed her last name (69 million of us) will be required to procure multiple documents to prove her citizenship in order to vote. It is dystopian. 

Deporting students with valid visas for being “lunatics” is anathema. These tariffs will sink countless businesses (domestic and foreign), torpedo our trade channels, trigger unprecedented retaliatory tariffs, and undoubtedly send us into a recession. The insanity of Trump suggesting America might annex Greenland is staggering. In yet another executive order, he took aim at the Smithsonian, particularly the National Museum of African American History and Culture, and promised to “remove improper ideology” that tells the factual account of slavery and Black disenfranchisement. Trump gutted the IMLS, the only federal agency dedicated to funding library services; dozens of federal grants were cancelled as of today. 

Every day brings a new horror. We can barely keep up with it all. We have not even caught our breath from the dismantling of the Department of Education before we have to grapple with the termination of USAID emergency food programs for the world’s most vulnerable communities. 

He is turning the U.S. into a global villain, reversing basic civil rights, and ruling in the pattern of every autocrat that has ever preceded him, only more accelerated. He wipes out diplomatic norms every time he opens his mouth, and the United States is plunging from its global position of leadership and trustworthiness by the hour.

We are living in a nightmare. 

So most days, I literally do not know what the fuck to do. If we attended to every democratic reversal, it would become a full-time job. Republicans are in lock step with nearly every molecule of it, and the Democrats appear mostly frozen in concrete. Legions of spiritual leaders have capitulated to MAGA ideals; our elders have betrayed the gospel for their thirty pieces of silver. It is scorched earth. 

For an upcoming podcast, Amy and I interviewed Franciscan priest Father Richard Rohr, a genuine hero of the faith. Hearing a man of such integrity lament the anti-Christ horror of it all was weirdly comforting. Since we are gaslit every single day, a modern prophet wailing in the streets helps me remember that good people exist, we aren’t crazy, and this is not normal. 

What do we do? Resistance is not nothing. In fact, it is our chief responsibility right now. We have several democratic tools at our disposal: join the marches, call and write our elected leaders, mobilize strategically for midterms next year. But those are bricks to lay on a more fundamental foundation required by every normal citizen. We must continue to say without equivocation: 

  • This is not normal. 
  • I will not go numb. 

Authoritarians count on us to abandon both. As Steve Bannon called the first few months of the Trump administration, these “days of thunder” are supposed to knock us off kilter. They are designed to overwhelm the circuit boards. We are meant to become paralyzed by the chaos and unable to respond. Forced to pick which horror to respond to, the “lesser” breaches risk settling into a “normal” category when, in fact, if any of them were a stand-alone violation, the country would be aflame. Trump is counting on this mental overload to stunt any meaningful response. Chaos is a strategy. 

None of this is normal. This is not politics as usual. We are not witnessing the next iteration of two parties with different ideas on how to govern. This is not just a bummer of a presidential term that we only must wait out. The world’s historians, analysts, and political experts are sounding the alarm: America is on a path toward authoritarianism. Empires fall, and we are not exempt. 

This isn’t inevitable, although the days of thunder are supposed to make us believe we have no power. This predictable playbook is counting on our disengagement; in fact, our overstimulated nervous systems are a key component to a successful coup. This political objective requires ordinary citizens to become numb. Just overwhelm the public consciousness and usurp democracy in the vacuum. It is a tool of control. 

These are the days the history books will examine. What did the American people do? How did they respond? How did they resist? This is our mandate. None of us wanted to be the American generation reckoning with an autocratic takeover, but here we are. We aren’t the first and we won’t be the last, but this is on our watch nonetheless. 

So we say this is not normal, this is not normal, this is not normal. We say it to our families and neighbors, on social media and in our workplaces. We name each new horror and condemn it for the anti-democratic maneuver it is. We don’t let our cousin casually suggest that “The Gulf of America” is a cool move. 

We resist any which way we can. My friend Emily Ley filed a lawsuit against Trump’s tariffs on behalf of her small business. Librarians are refusing to purge their shelves. Teachers are still teaching, well, actual history. Lawyers and judges are using the power of the courts to defend democracy. Many of our local and state elected leaders are fighting like hell to protect their constituents from authoritarian control. More than 1300 “Hands Off!” rallies flooded the streets in every state last week. Costco said we will NOT eliminate our DEI policies. A consumer boycott created a 12.4 billion dollar loss for Target for choosing the opposite. 

Consistent public opposition matters. It strengthens insiders on the front lines of policy, it weakens the shock and awe impact, and it slows the momentum of Trump’s initiatives. Plus it creates solidarity where Trump is counting on our isolation. If the aim is to discombobulate our capacity to respond in mass, then respond in mass we must. The sum is greater than its parts. 

This is not normal, and we cannot go numb. Create a judicious filter for how and when and where you get your news – the 24/7 outrage cycle is intended to stunt our response – but stay in the fight. Injustice is not inevitable, no matter how they want us to feel. Do your part, however small it is. You alone might not make a big dent, but all of us together create the resistance required to save our democracy. This administration is counting on our paralysis, so lace up your shoes, America. Let’s go. 

Starting Over Financially After Divorce: Practical Advice and Tips

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

Women, listen up: Guess what you can do, handle, manage, reorganize, and execute? Everything.

Yes I am talking to those of you navigating a divorce, but also to all of you. Even if you are hap-hap-happily married, and you’ve handed over certain responsibilities as a normal division of labor like I did, it is not wise or prudent to be totally hands off.

My shtick for years was a little cutesy dumb shoulder shrug, a helpless lady who has no idea what any bills are or how much money I make:

  • I don’t understand our bills. *shrug*
  • I don’t know what is coming or going. *shrug*
  • I’m just a girl who RUNS A MAJOR CAREER OPERATION AND WORKS HER ASS OFF but idk if we are investing or saving or where our money is being spent. *shrug*
  • I just don’t do that part. *shrug*
  • I’m sure it’s all going fine. *shrug*

That is not fair to either partner. It’s a new day, sisters. You can and should be privy to every penny, and if you are newly single, you can handle all of this. Grab your own bull by the horns. This is not beyond you. Build your own future. It will be like a full-time job until you get it in hand, but we deserve to be in charge of our own lives.

The F-Word No One Warned Us About: Finances After Divorce

The first time I sat in my accountant’s office was in the middle of my divorce in 2020. And let me tell you—I knew absolutely nothing about finances, much less my own. It was a full-on F-word situation. Times a million.

Fast-forward to today, and I’m not just surviving—I’m steering my own financial ship with confidence and clarity. But it took work. It took a calendar full of appointments with my accountant, bookkeeper, financial planner, mortgage consultant, and banker. It took questions I didn’t even know to ask and a whole lot of believing I could do it, even when I wanted to crawl under a weighted blanket forever.

If you’re here, googling things like how to survive a divorce financially or financial advice for divorced women, I want you to know: You’re not alone, and this is absolutely doable.

Let’s talk about starting over financially after divorce—especially in midlife when the stakes feel sky-high.

Financial Divorce Tips That Actually Work

When you’re in the thick of it—splitting assets, sorting out debt, trying to refinance a home after divorce—it’s easy to feel like the whole thing is stacked against you. But here’s the truth: Financial planning after divorce is just like anything else we’ve mastered in life—it starts with one brave, clumsy step.

1. Get Eyes on Everything

Finances and divorce advice 101: You need visibility.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I a signatory on every bank account?
  • Do I have access to every login and password?
  • Do I know where my money is going every month?
  • Am I aware and involved in my savings and investments?

If the answer is no, start there. This was step one for me—and the scariest. But information is power, and power is peace.

2. Create a Post-Divorce Financial Checklist

A divorce financial checklist will be your best friend. It should include:

  • Reviewing your credit report
  • Creating a realistic budget (don’t skip this!)
  • Inventorying all your debts and liabilities
  • Gathering account statements, beneficiary info, and estate docs

You don’t have to figure all of this out overnight. But step by step, you will.

3. Know the Difference Between Good and Bad Debt

One of the best pieces of financial divorce advice I can offer is this: Not all debt is created equal.

  • Bad debt (like high-interest credit cards)? We tackle that first.
  • Good debt (like a home loan)? That can wait.

Take a look at your interest rates. Consider refinancing your home if your mortgage rate is high. Ask for help. There are trusted pros who can walk you through this.

How to Recover Financially After Divorce: Mindset + MATH

Recovery is part math, part mindset. And I want you to have both.

Own Your Financial Story

Here’s what I want you to know: You can do this. You should do this. You must do this. There is nothing you cannot figure out and handle. 

Build a Realistic Budget After Divorce

Yes, the B-word. But listen: Budgeting after divorce isn’t about restriction—it’s about clarity and freedom. Budgeting is the North Star that helps us make empowered decisions, not fearful ones.

Use a tool like the “Now-Near-Far” framework from my course to plan:

  • Now = Emergency savings
  • Near = 3-5 year goals (new car, tuition, travel)
  • Far = Retirement, long-term investments

Get Help. Seriously.

You’re not supposed to know all of this. That’s why professionals exist. There’s no shame in bringing experts in to help you. You don’t have to carry this alone. You don’t have to pretend you have it all figured out. Just start.

Your Future Self Will Thank You

Whether you’re looking for information about how to get out of debt after divorce or divorce financial planning, I want you to know that this is just the beginning—not the end.

Yes, it might feel like divorce ruined me financially in the beginning. But with the right steps, it can also be the beginning of building a stronger, smarter, more secure financial future than you ever had before.

You can rise like a phoenix. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Start your financial comeback with my self-paced course:  Finance for the Rest of Us — designed for women just like you.

It’s the course I wish I had when I was starting over. It’s everything I’ve learned—all shared with you—plus, the expert guidance of financial planning ninja Lindsey Leaverton. And for a limited time, you can save $44 on this course (because we’re all about saving money here). Use code FREEDOM25 to get this course for ONLY $25. This offer expires April 30, 2025.

Yes—you can do this. Let’s build a new story. Together.

 

Life gets better. You will get better.

Posted on by Jen Hatmaker

My oldest son turned 27 today.

He texted me this:

When I was a young adult, I told people that 50 was the tipping point. We’d have our (obviously) superior youth which we would hang on to with white knuckles through our 40’s, but 50 was the end. Might as well hang it up. We had a good run. Nothing to do but shrivel. I couldn’t fathom being 50. God, how impossibly old. What is there even left to do? 

And here I am. Unbelievably not in the crypt. I want to go back to my young self and assure her that she will absolutely be the shit when she is 50. 

All her friends are too.

And the women ahead of her? Even better. We are smarter and wiser, funnier and better. I swear we are hotter. We have stopped pretending to laugh when some guy isn’t actually funny. We ask for raises and profit shares. We run our own companies and hire our own staff.

Sex is amaaaazing. We wear what we want. We absolutely do not care if everyone likes us anymore.

We buy a blue bikini if we feel like it. We have bread and wine for dinner sometimes. I want her to know that the endless gender limitations she is navigating do not get the final say. The tidy, narrow job description of “good wife” and “good mom” and “good Christian” doesn’t hold, and she will discover an expansive world outside her imagination. It will thrill her to no end.

She will write and lead and preach and buy her own house. She will become her own power source. None of this could be realized back then, see? She wasn’t there yet. She didn’t know yet. She hadn’t seen it yet. She hadn’t learned yet. Not because she was doing everything wrong. She was just young. She will eventually set a fire that was just an ember back then. So getting older isn’t the end at all; it’s really the beginning. 

Midlife has plenty of weird patches, and those get a lot of attention. A few things we built in young adulthood didn’t last, including around half our marriages. Careers have meandered absolutely all over the place. Parenting turned out to be far more complicated than advertised. Peri- and menopause entered the chat, and it is certainly jerking us around. Because no generation has ever invested in women’s healthcare at this age, we are sorting it out in real time. Life absolutely did not go like I expected. 

But let me be clear: I absolutely love being 50. I love my life. It has gotten smaller in some ways, because many of the earlier structures were assumed, or expected, or inherited, and midlife comes with the mettle to leave those behind without apology. Most of us also onboarded so, so, so many relationships when we were younger that midlife has keener discernment for, so plenty of these won’t endure. We start whittling our gorgeous life down to what we actually love, who we are genuinely free with. 

It has become clear that these few years are indeed precious — youth imagines them stretched out endlessly. Who could even imagine being 50 back then? But here we are, and just like that, half a century is in the rearview mirror and we simply can’t tolerate wasting a single more day. We just can’t. It is all too dear and too short. We can’t bear to spend any more years on bitterness or jobs we hate or being angry all the time. We’re not going to the beach because of our thighs?? Nonsense. No one cares, and no one has ever cared, and we were wrong when we thought everyone was fixated on us all those years. Wasted energy has revealed itself to be the tragedy it always was. 

We have spent decades building a life, and now we get to live one. The urgency of young adulthood has exhausted itself, and this season asks a different question: What do I want out of the second half? Can you imagine the wonder of this?? It is something between reinvention and self-discovery and what always truly was and what absolutely should be. What a time to be alive! How do we want to live? What do we want to release? How do we want to spend these next years? Who do we want to be? Phenomenal. We’ve earned our way here, and this is our prize. 

So my darling son, born to me as a 23-year-old baby adult, don’t waste another second worrying about 40, and while we’re at it, try to stop worrying about practically everything. Maybe 6% of it should be worried over, and that is a fact. Life gets better. You will get better. So much of the noise and fog clears decade by decade until what you are left with is the most gorgeous life you could have ever imagined. 

Now when women say to me, “Wait until you’re 60!” or “You’ll love being 70!”…I believe them.